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The Battle for the Sandwich


how many fingers do you have  

116 members have voted

  1. 1. what color is your chair

    • french
      36
    • microwave
      80


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I lap up ALL of the metal from the ground and burn chromium, trapping me and Nerdy in a slow (?) bubble. Everyone outside watches in pure boredom as we move slowly. Several days pass outside the bubble, whereas within Nerdy and I have just finished a game of MTG. I win with an infinity life combo, take the sandwich, and drop the bubble, shooting away on a steelpush.

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I casually pass by and drop a cartoon bomb next to Keys and Telrao. It explodes and the sandwich, by cartoon logic, is expelled away from it completely unharmed, and falls into my hands. I walk away just as casually. 

I chose that because my chair sounds kinda like a microwave when it spins. 

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I burn bendalloy, then draw Aon Edo to protect myself from the bomb. I casually draw Aon Ashe, then Tia, blinding Eluvanii as I knock the sandwich out of his strange human hands, pick it up in my adorable fluffy paws, then teleport away.

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Relativistic travel in the atmosphere causes fission. The explosion blasts the sandwich from your hand. I grab it and run, stopping only to drop Piranha Marsh and enchant the Worldgorger Dragon in my yard with Animate Dead, dealing infinite damage to Telrao.

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I wake up, disturbed by the sound of repeated explosions. Unfortunately for Nerdy, I already gained infinite life from the MTG game I'd played earlier, and so had no ill effects. I take out my piccolo, play a happy little tune to annoy Nerdy, them whack Nerdy with my titanium flute, knocking him out as I make everyone lose The Game. I then take the sandwich and hop on Spanky, travelling back to Earth.

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I appear as a questioner on your path and I take the sandwich while you are puzzling over the riddle.

You come to a place with two roads. There are two statues, one always tells the truth, one always lies. One path leads to where you want to go, the other leads to a jungle of death. You can ask one question, what question do you ask?

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I stand in contemplation, slapping my tail against the ground in mild annoyance. I think and think. No questions come to me. Then:

"How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?"

While the statues stand in befuddlement, I draw Aon Nae to let me see the paths ahead, showing which one leads to my destination. I hop on Spanky, snatch the sandwich from the Wandering Wizard, then play the Australian Anthem remix on my piccolo as I ride away.

Edited by Telrao
:)
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1 minute ago, The Wandering Wizard said:

Do you actually know the answer to the riddle though?

I follow the sound of the vibrations of the universe and they draw me to the sandwich.

Yes. Maybe.

I burp, disrupting the vibrations as I teleport away (with Spanky) to Roshar.

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22 minutes ago, The Wandering Wizard said:

You come to a place with two roads. There are two statues, one always tells the truth, one always lies. One path leads to where you want to go, the other leads to a jungle of death. You can ask one question, what question do you ask?

I would have asked which path will the other one say is the right one, then go through the other one.

I stand, sad as I cannot see the sandwich anywhere and the Aussie anthem remix on piccolo pulls on my heartstrings

ninja’d :ph34r:

Edited by Cinnamon
ninja’d :ph34r:
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