The Battle for the Sandwich

[Edema Rue she/her]

The snail is very sticky, however.

[Just-A-Stick she/her]

I wrap the snail in a rag that I conveniently had in my hand and fling it (along with the snail) into an oncoming highstorm that is powered by math. 

[Weaver of Lies he/him]

I roll a nat 20 on my slight of  hand check and take the sandwich. I then draw the donjon card from the deck of many things.

[Edema Rue she/her]

The snail escapes the high storm and paints a D20 on its shell, so that the 20 is always facing up. Then, because the snail has clearly evolved to be a god of luck, Weaver trips and drops the sandwich right next to the snail.

[Lord Spirit he/him]

I divide by zero, creating a math everstorm that sucks the sandwich and snail into it. 

[Just-A-Stick she/her]

I curse all math and run away with the sandwich.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

I revive this thread and take the sandwich 

[Weaver of Lies he/him]

50 minutes ago, Ookla the Raveness said:

I revive this thread and take the sandwich 

I kill this thread so I may always have the sandwich. How I got the sandwich: I made a conundrum by finding a wandering wizard and introducing him to Wiz. In the confusion, I take the sandwich.

[Edema Rue she/her]

30 minutes ago, Ookla the foolish said:

I kill this thread so I may always have the sandwich. How I got the sandwich: I made a conundrum by finding a wandering wizard and introducing him to Wiz. In the confusion, I take the sandwich.

The snail is sitting on your shoulder, tutting approvingly.

[Just-A-Stick she/her]

I run in and steal the sandwich and take a bite of it. 

[WhispersOfWit he/him]

I walk up and politely ask to have a bite as well.

[Weaver of Lies he/him]

28 minutes ago, Ookla-The-Stick said:

I run in and steal the sandwich and take a bite of it. 

Luckily for me, that was a decoy sandwich.

Quote

You can’t eat the sandwich.

 

[Just-A-Stick she/her]

1 minute ago, Ookla the foolish said:

Luckily for me, that was a decoy sandwich.

 

Quote

oops  

I finish eating the decoy sandwich and stiff-arm the sandwich holder. I also give a bite to the new comer. 

Edited December 14, 2023 by Ookla-The-Stick

[Little j he/him]

27 minutes ago, Ookla-The-Stick said:

I run in and steal the sandwich and take a bite of it. 

I use my teleportation device to teleport the sandwich into my secret layer in Gotham city.

[Just-A-Stick she/her]

denied.  

[-Redacted- he/him]

I roll the infinite sided dice for tcspf and the sandwich appears in my hand. I take is to the tcspf headquarters, which is currently covered in cobwebs. 

[Just-A-Stick she/her]

I simply grab the sandwich back, after punching red. 

[WhispersOfWit he/him]

*the whisper smiles, amused by the gathering of fools fighting over a sandwich*

*upon seeing the sandwich, however, he decided to give it a shot* *Burning pewter the whisper moves at incredible speed toward the sandwich* *as soon as he reaches it he lashes the sandwich upward into the sky using multiple lashings*

[Just-A-Stick she/her]

2 minutes ago, WhispersOfWit said:

*the whisper smiles, amused by the gathering of fools fighting over a sandwich*

Murder Puppy tosses The Whisper the sandwich and wrestles Red to the ground.

[WhispersOfWit he/him]

*the whisper then lashes himself up into the sky after the sandwich*

*seeing the sandwich is no longer there he returns to the ground to watch once more*

[Just-A-Stick she/her]

*knocks Red out and gets the sandwich again* Aha! 

[WhispersOfWit he/him]

*the whisper smiles at the mortals false sense of triumph, the confidence that plagued all men* *the whisper burned atium*

*anticipating his every move the whisper moved with casual speed and lithe and grabbed the sandwich then strolled away*

[Ancient Elantrian Elan/Elan/Elan/Elan/Elan]

13 hours ago, WhispersOfWit said:

*the whisper smiles at the mortals false sense of triumph, the confidence that plagued all men* *the whisper burned atium*

*anticipating his every move the whisper moved with casual speed and lithe and grabbed the sandwich then strolled away*

Elan grabs the sandwich using multiverse weirdness that remains undescribed. He also says Hi to the whisper. "Hi!"

[Edema Rue she/her]

The snail has grown tired of seeking the sandwich. It has lost too many friends, seen too much destruction, all for the sake of a meal. And so, exhausted, the snail slides up to the twin graves of the caterpillar and the sentient mushroom, and curls into its shell. It will never get the sandwich.

And as the snail sleeps, a commslug named Hungry awakens. And it wants the sandwich.

[Sequence she/they]

Sequence pats the snail on the shell, commending its effort before hitting Elan on the head with a cricket bat. While he's unconscious, Sequence grabs the Sandwich and runs away. She feels bad though, so she comes back and leaves the Second Most Perfect Sandwich™ for him, to say sorry.