Satsuoni he/him Posted June 8, 2014 Report Share Posted June 8, 2014 Warning/ disclaimer: The rant below is brought to you by seasonal depression and genuine feelings. It freely uses CAPS and hYpErBoLe! If one is offended by those, please consider it artistic license, otherwise take it at face value. Frankly, as I see you, I am ashamed. Ashamed and DISGUSTED! Is this what the proud Caton has degenerated to? Have you no sense of our HISTORY? Even so, have you no pRiDe? We cats are proud species of Gore, Murder and Fluffiness! Even a normal cat is proud to KILL (as depicted in this comic), and would go for major veins with their claws to show AfFeCtIoN (experience)! And that is the kind of banner you would suggest for us, Awesomeness Summoned? We should MAUL you for presumption! Pathetic creatures, art yar cats or mice spiked with the essence of Lifeless PUPPIES? Art yar VERMIN?? (note to self: breed mice spiked with lifeless puppies, spike city officials with that) As it is now, we shoid aSpIrE to be like Felynes, at least they are respected and regenerate from any injury, throwing bombs larger than their bodies! And yet we the Cat Inquisitors (though I am part human, for my eternal shame) have so much more potential! Potential for GORE and DOMINATION! Now, I knyaw that our origins are humble, as our organization was born from research of deranged, self-spiked human (me), but our goals are lofty: taking over the cosmere as the shadow rulers. Not to mention that our creation is supported by BRANDON himself! Know, ye unbelievers that the mind of a catquisitor is TWISTED (here is a symbolical representation). Know that our types and phenotypes are MaNy! The Engineer, the Spy, the Harvester! (I apologize for my inability to draw) ReMeMbEr, that we had many successes, as we terrorized Elendel! Follow the great example of Kurkistan, who has summoned the DEVIL, the Satan to spike it and take its powers for his own, even though he had to replace parts of his body by metal and cybernetics! Ah, how the blood of a hundred virgins flowed that day, how new kittens played in their VISCERA! This is our foundation. See how he, alone, invaded Sel and has taken over the whole COUNTRY that now bears his name and gives him POWER? We should follow this glorious example! Quitecontrary, did you say cat MEAT? We shall invade China and eat their INFANTS! (As soon as we are done with Elendel) Their vast population would swell our numbers! Tempus: For shame! Dost thee not know that squid causes gastrointestinal distress in cats? I applaud your attempts in creating the cat-stamp that would transform lowly HUMANS and noble Cats into the Cat Inquisitors, even though the change is temporary. But the ink you use is weak. The best ink for soulstamps is made from human blood and BILE, as their livers are RIPPED from their bodies, with some ground bone added for stability. Keep that in mind, nyaw will you? In conclusion: We are cats! We DOMINATE and INFILTRATE! Have some dignity, or ate least BLOODYMINDEDNESS! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Left he/him Posted June 8, 2014 Report Share Posted June 8, 2014 The rant below is brought to you by seasonal depression and genuine feelings. It freely uses CAPS and hYpErBoLe! If one is offended by those, please consider it artistic license, otherwise take it at face value. I AM OFFEND!!! :P 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Satsuoni he/him Posted June 8, 2014 Report Share Posted June 8, 2014 I AM OFFEND!!! :P A Rockeater princess, here? Torture her for her secrets! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurkistan he/him Posted June 8, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 8, 2014 (edited) Now, I knyaw that our origins are humble, as our organization was born from research of deranged, self-spiked human (me), but our goals are lofty: taking over the cosmere as the shadow rulers. Not to mention that our creation is supported by BRANDON himself! More than that, even: Peter has even canonized our attempt to take over the cosmere! Edited June 8, 2014 by Kurkistan 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lightsworn Panda he/him Posted June 8, 2014 Report Share Posted June 8, 2014 Pardon me, but I'm going to die from laughing so hard 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MozytheHealer she/her Posted June 9, 2014 Report Share Posted June 9, 2014 *chokes on her tea* Ohmylordy. That would be hilarious. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Left he/him Posted June 9, 2014 Report Share Posted June 9, 2014 Greeting Caton, I've been making the rounds insulting, torturing, and hanging with all the guilds lately. Figured I should stop by and decide which to do. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SmurfAquamarineBodies he/him Posted June 10, 2014 Report Share Posted June 10, 2014 What if it rains? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tempus Posted June 10, 2014 Report Share Posted June 10, 2014 I have unleashed my Cat's Paw Stamp. The stamp uses some unique properties of Forgery which I have developed in order to transform any entity into a feline version of itself. They are not true cats, however, thus it will not hold long - it is but a demonstration of my power! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peng the Just he/him Posted June 10, 2014 Report Share Posted June 10, 2014 let the cats reign! all hail our feline overlords! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Quitecontrary she/her Posted June 23, 2014 Report Share Posted June 23, 2014 I am not member of this guild but I was thinking of you earlier when I was having my latte. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 3, 2015 Report Share Posted February 3, 2015 I claim this thread for the Root Beer Bar and the DA! *plants flag* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheese United he/him Posted February 3, 2015 Report Share Posted February 3, 2015 *Captain Hammer voice* Not if i can stop it, foul villian! Under Cluase 57, Article 3 lines 5-7 of the Non- Interference Treatry of '57, you must first perform three trials if you wish to claim this RP for more than 1 guild, group, or clan. The trials go as follows: Read Twilight Listen to german scream metal perform in an opera. However as a member of The Root Beer Bar, I can say that it also states that you are allowed to claim it for the Root Beer Bar, provided you give root beer to the Catquisitors. The DA has to perform the trials however. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
18th Shard he/him Posted February 4, 2015 Report Share Posted February 4, 2015 (edited) Unfortunately, Cheese, under Paragraph 3 Concession 76 of the following Article, all Hemalurgic operations, including those of Catquisitiors, is policed under the jurisdiction of the Dark Alley due to copyright infringement issues. While said trials sound horrific, I have already done those. I have successfully created a mini-play, depicted to an audience of Lifeless, of a lowly Dark Alley acolyte reading Twilight, listening to German scream metal, and singing in an opera as a side character to the tragedy unfolding. These trials were magnificently performed by the Seon Sheo in a Broadway style film. Thus were the trials performed. Entry fees for later showing include a soul (undamaged), a new baking recipe, and large quantities of Aluminum. I would also like to extend a warm welcome to the Caton of Inquisiiton, a guild formed upon the principles of devotion of Hemalurgy. If the Caton would like to see those Chromium spikes currently in use by the werewolf "Winter", which transmuted her form from that of a human to a creature capable of free interchange between a human and lupine form, as well as species specific abilities, you are all invited for cookies and milk (neither of which is intended as a slur to the feline culture). I am also sure such spikes effecting a similar transformation between a human and cat could be created, providing permanent version of Tempus's Forgeries. We would always love such interesting and like-minded customers in the Dark Alley. Also, any scientific documentation of spike placement or development from the Caton that you would be willing to share for the sake of science would be appreciated as a mutual benefit for the future development of Hemalurgy. Edited February 4, 2015 by 18th Shard 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bort he/him Posted February 4, 2015 Report Share Posted February 4, 2015 Why is it not called the Kiton of Inquisition? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scar Posted February 9, 2015 Report Share Posted February 9, 2015 Ooh oooh oohhh can i join? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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