Eddie’s Words

[Edema Rue she/her]

18 minutes ago, Ookla the Raveness said:

I'll read and buy the book :3

And I yours, in about 3 years  

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

7 minutes ago, Ookla the Believer said:

And I yours, in about 3 years  

Try ten

[Weaver of Lies he/him]

I will be reading and buying both books. And I need to be stabbed with a writing stick, I’m behind on my writing.

[Edema Rue she/her]

8 hours ago, Ookla the foolish said:

I will be reading and buying both books. And I need to be stabbed with a writing stick, I’m behind on my writing.

*le gesp*

*stabs you*

[Weaver of Lies he/him]

15 hours ago, Ookla the Believer said:

*le gesp*

*stabs you*

Thank you for the stabbing.

[Just-A-Stick she/her]

*snaps to attention*

STABBING!?!? Who needs Jacin?!?!?! 

[Edema Rue she/her]

And If:

Spoiler

And if you ever loved me,

And if blood were falling like rain

And if I was lost

In a sea of red

And if all the world

Were set against you

And if I

Were alone

I would not blame you

If you were to leave me.

 

And if

I understand

That I will have no home

Except the one I build

Then where

In this world

Will I find the strength

To create something

From nothing?

 

And if

I

Cannot find

Such strength

Will I be

Forever alone?

And if

I am

Will I learn

Not to care

Or will it always

Hurt

The way it does now?

 

And if

If

If

And if it does not hurt

Will it mean I have made a home

Or will it mean I’ve made another prison

Like the one

That chains me

Now?

And if

It doesn’t hurt me

Will I stop caring?

 

And if I only care

Because of the aching in my heart,

Will you think less of me?

And if

I don’t know how to love

Will you love me anyway?

And if

I break your heart a thousand times

Then,

Love,

I am sorry.

 

And if

I spend

Every moment with you

Dreaming

And wishing

And imagining worlds and words and wonders

That are only in my mind

Then,

Love,

Bring me back

To the home we built together.

 

And if

And if

And if

And if.

And if I shatter

And if our home crumbles

And if I can’t remember how to love you,

Will you teach me?

And if I hurt you, if I am too callous,

Will you forgive me?

And if I am never a strong enough mother, or wife, or leader,

Will you help me carry my burden?

And if I try to carry yours, and drop it,

Will you trust me to try again?

 

And if

I never meet you

And if

I remain alone

And if

I can never build myself a place to belong

And if

I give up...

I am sorry, Stranger.

Sara Cobbler from the Wingfeather saga is one of my new favorite characters.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

6 minutes ago, Ookla the Believer said:

And If:

  Hide contents

And if you ever loved me,

And if blood were falling like rain

And if I was lost

In a sea of red

And if all the world

Were set against you

And if I

Were alone

I would not blame you

If you were to leave me.

 

And if

I understand

That I will have no home

Except the one I build

Then where

In this world

Will I find the strength

To create something

From nothing?

 

And if

I

Cannot find

Such strength

Will I be

Forever alone?

And if

I am

Will I learn

Not to care

Or will it always

Hurt

The way it does now?

 

And if

If

If

And if it does not hurt

Will it mean I have made a home

Or will it mean I’ve made another prison

Like the one

That chains me

Now?

And if

It doesn’t hurt me

Will I stop caring?

 

And if I only care

Because of the aching in my heart,

Will you think less of me?

And if

I don’t know how to love

Will you love me anyway?

And if

I break your heart a thousand times

Then,

Love,

I am sorry.

 

And if

I spend

Every moment with you

Dreaming

And wishing

And imagining worlds and words and wonders

That are only in my mind

Then,

Love,

Bring me back

To the home we built together.

 

And if

And if

And if

And if.

And if I shatter

And if our home crumbles

And if I can’t remember how to love you,

Will you teach me?

And if I hurt you, if I am too callous,

Will you forgive me?

And if I am never a strong enough mother, or wife, or leader,

Will you help me carry my burden?

And if I try to carry yours, and drop it,

Will you trust me to try again?

 

And if

I never meet you

And if

I remain alone

And if

I can never build myself a place to belong

And if

I give up...

I am sorry, Stranger.

Sara Cobbler from the Wingfeather saga is one of my new favorite characters.

*hugs*

Heehee wait for the ending :3

[Weaver of Lies he/him]

3 minutes ago, Ookla the Believer said:

And If:

  Hide contents

And if you ever loved me,

And if blood were falling like rain

And if I was lost

In a sea of red

And if all the world

Were set against you

And if I

Were alone

I would not blame you

If you were to leave me.

 

And if

I understand

That I will have no home

Except the one I build

Then where

In this world

Will I find the strength

To create something

From nothing?

 

And if

I

Cannot find

Such strength

Will I be

Forever alone?

And if

I am

Will I learn

Not to care

Or will it always

Hurt

The way it does now?

 

And if

If

If

And if it does not hurt

Will it mean I have made a home

Or will it mean I’ve made another prison

Like the one

That chains me

Now?

And if

It doesn’t hurt me

Will I stop caring?

 

And if I only care

Because of the aching in my heart,

Will you think less of me?

And if

I don’t know how to love

Will you love me anyway?

And if

I break your heart a thousand times

Then,

Love,

I am sorry.

 

And if

I spend

Every moment with you

Dreaming

And wishing

And imagining worlds and words and wonders

That are only in my mind

Then,

Love,

Bring me back

To the home we built together.

 

And if

And if

And if

And if.

And if I shatter

And if our home crumbles

And if I can’t remember how to love you,

Will you teach me?

And if I hurt you, if I am too callous,

Will you forgive me?

And if I am never a strong enough mother, or wife, or leader,

Will you help me carry my burden?

And if I try to carry yours, and drop it,

Will you trust me to try again?

 

And if

I never meet you

And if

I remain alone

And if

I can never build myself a place to belong

And if

I give up...

I am sorry, Stranger.

Sara Cobbler from the Wingfeather saga is one of my new favorite characters.

*hugs*
This is amazing Eddie. I know people often say don’t worry the “what-ifs”, but the truth is that they’re there and they can be scary. If you want me to attempt to give advice you can always PM me.

[Edema Rue she/her]

4 minutes ago, Ookla the Raveness said:

*hugs*

Heehee wait for the ending :3

*hugs back*

I am terrified and excited.

3 minutes ago, Ookla the foolish said:

*hugs*
This is amazing Eddie. I know people often say don’t worry the “what-ifs”, but the truth is that they’re there and they can be scary. If you want me to attempt to give advice you can always PM me.

 *also hugs back* Thank you. For the most part, I'm okay today, but the future is always looming in the back of my mind, and today it snuck forward and tried to gobble me up

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

21 minutes ago, Ookla the Believer said:

*hugs back*

I am terrified and excited.

 *also hugs back* Thank you. For the most part, I'm okay today, but the future is always looming in the back of my mind, and today it snuck forward and tried to gobble me up

Aye it does that and wonderful poems come from it, dear sister

[Aeoryi she/her]

I have now posted here 

37 minutes ago, Ookla the Believer said:

And If:

  Reveal hidden contents

And if you ever loved me,

And if blood were falling like rain

And if I was lost

In a sea of red

And if all the world

Were set against you

And if I

Were alone

I would not blame you

If you were to leave me.

 

And if

I understand

That I will have no home

Except the one I build

Then where

In this world

Will I find the strength

To create something

From nothing?

 

And if

I

Cannot find

Such strength

Will I be

Forever alone?

And if

I am

Will I learn

Not to care

Or will it always

Hurt

The way it does now?

 

And if

If

If

And if it does not hurt

Will it mean I have made a home

Or will it mean I’ve made another prison

Like the one

That chains me

Now?

And if

It doesn’t hurt me

Will I stop caring?

 

And if I only care

Because of the aching in my heart,

Will you think less of me?

And if

I don’t know how to love

Will you love me anyway?

And if

I break your heart a thousand times

Then,

Love,

I am sorry.

 

And if

I spend

Every moment with you

Dreaming

And wishing

And imagining worlds and words and wonders

That are only in my mind

Then,

Love,

Bring me back

To the home we built together.

 

And if

And if

And if

And if.

And if I shatter

And if our home crumbles

And if I can’t remember how to love you,

Will you teach me?

And if I hurt you, if I am too callous,

Will you forgive me?

And if I am never a strong enough mother, or wife, or leader,

Will you help me carry my burden?

And if I try to carry yours, and drop it,

Will you trust me to try again?

 

And if

I never meet you

And if

I remain alone

And if

I can never build myself a place to belong

And if

I give up...

I am sorry, Stranger.

Sara Cobbler from the Wingfeather saga is one of my new favorite characters.

One of the hardest things for me to express (irl or writing) is emotion and you somehow do it so naturally.

[Edema Rue she/her]

10 hours ago, Ookla the Resolute said:

I have now posted here 

One of the hardest things for me to express (irl or writing) is emotion and you somehow do it so naturally.

I wouldn't say I do it naturally, just that...I have a lot of practice writing with tears as my ink and a breaking heart as my page. The more you do it, the better it gets  

[Edema Rue she/her]

Strings:

Spoiler

There were days when you used to sing.

And I with you.

My left hand at your neck,

My right on the bow.

Fingers flying as fast as I could manage,

Every mediocre note building into a wonderful song.

We spent hours together,

You and I.

 

But now you are silent;

You cannot sing without me,

And I

Have lost my music.

 

Your case lies open,

A promise that I’m coming back.

But you’re hidden

Beneath a velvet cloth,

Like a corpse beneath a sheet.

You are dead without me

And so by leaving you

I have killed something beautiful.

You are left alone to gather dust,

And my heart is quiet without you.

 

I can’t even bear to look at you.

They are disgusted with me for leaving you, furious at my heavy silence and proud of the others, the ones who have kept their precious music and spread it like light itself, they are angry and bitter but you…

You…

You’re just disappointed. 

 

You were built to sing.

You were built with gentle, loving hands to send each note ringing out, so high that it can shatter not just glass but hearts, too.

You were built to perform.

You were made with a singular purpose,

And I claimed you.

I swore that I would help you fulfill it.

That I would keep you with me

And that we

Together,

Would sing.

 

I broke my promise.

I left you to wilt

And wither

And crack.

Your resin is crumbling.

Your bow has not been tightened in far too long.

Your case is beginning to chafe.

Your strings are going out of tune.

Your strings…

Oh, stars.

Oh, light.

I’m sorry. 

EDIT - some context:

So I’ve always played some sort of instrument, because that’s how my parents do things. I did piano for years, and then switched to violin, which I’ve been playing for…wow. Almost half my life. The beginning of this semester, I was completely swamped and didn’t have time to practice. So I stopped doing lessons. This is the first year I can remember that I’m not performing in some sort of Christmas concert. It’s strange, almost unreal, in a sense. Anyway, I finally tuned my violin and played O Come O Come Emmanuel today and…stars. I didn’t realize how much I missed it until now. 

So I wrote a poem, because, y’know, emotions are wonderful, but sometimes it takes words on a page to be able to understand them

Edited December 15, 2023 by Ookla the Believer

[Edema Rue she/her]

Note: This isn't aimed towards anyone on the shard. You're all wonderful, and loving, and so very incredible. Don't ever forget that. This was just written because, believe it or not, there is a world outside of the shard, and I spend time there. Sometimes. Usually at the library.

Anyway...yeah. I wrote this.

Spoiler

I don’t need to be loved to love.

I don’t.

I swear I don’t.

I can love when I hurt.

I can love when I’m lonely.

I can love when there is no sign of a friendly word in response.

I can.

I can care when the world is indifferent.

I can.

I can be there for you when you aren’t here for me.

I can.

I can.

I can.

I can love you.

 

It would just be nice

If you could love me too.

 

Or maybe if I knew

How to show you

I’m worth loving.

If I could show you

How much it hurts to be alone.

 

No, no. 

That’s not it.

Not it at all.

I don’t want to hurt you.

I just don’t want to hurt any longer.

And I think

That if you understood, 

You would help.

Because you are good.

And you are kind.

And you do care

Just not for me.

 

And if you knew just a little bit better,

Then surely 

You’d let me in.

 

Or maybe not.

Maybe

I can never be on the inside.

Not because of you,

Or me,

Or a choice any mortal has made.

But because 

I

Am not perfect.

And neither

Are you.

 

Because maybe

God has called me to care

And maybe

I cannot love

Unless my heart has cracked

Like ice

In the cold that lingers

When I am left outside.

 

And maybe

Once

The pain dulls

To a steady ache,

I can remember,

The joy

That comes

From caring.

The gladness

There is

In loving.

 

And the promise

That every kind word

I say

Is not always

Forgotten.

 

And maybe

Someday

These moments will build

To minutes

To a millennium

Of loving

And of being loved.

 

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

3 minutes ago, Ookla the Believer said:

Note: This isn't aimed towards anyone on the shard. You're all wonderful, and loving, and so very incredible. Don't ever forget that. This was just written because, believe it or not, there is a world outside of the shard, and I spend time there. Sometimes. Usually at the library.

Anyway...yeah. I wrote this.

  Hide contents

I don’t need to be loved to love.

I don’t.

I swear I don’t.

I can love when I hurt.

I can love when I’m lonely.

I can love when there is no sign of a friendly word in response.

I can.

I can care when the world is indifferent.

I can.

I can be there for you when you aren’t here for me.

I can.

I can.

I can.

I can love you.

 

It would just be nice

If you could love me too.

 

Or maybe if I knew

How to show you

I’m worth loving.

If I could show you

How much it hurts to be alone.

 

No, no. 

That’s not it.

Not it at all.

I don’t want to hurt you.

I just don’t want to hurt any longer.

And I think

That if you understood, 

You would help.

Because you are good.

And you are kind.

And you do care

Just not for me.

 

And if you knew just a little bit better,

Then surely 

You’d let me in.

 

Or maybe not.

Maybe

I can never be on the inside.

Not because of you,

Or me,

Or a choice any mortal has made.

But because 

I

Am not perfect.

And neither

Are you.

 

Because maybe

God has called me to care

And maybe

I cannot love

Unless my heart has cracked

Like ice

In the cold that lingers

When I am left outside.

 

And maybe

Once

The pain dulls

To a steady ache,

I can remember,

The joy

That comes

From caring.

The gladness

There is

In loving.

 

And the promise

That every kind word

I say

Is not always

Forgotten.

 

And maybe

Someday

These moments will build

To minutes

To a millennium

Of loving

And of being loved.

 

*hugs*

I do hope and believe it will build to something beautiful

We love you sis

[Weaver of Lies he/him]

13 minutes ago, Ookla the Believer said:

Note: This isn't aimed towards anyone on the shard. You're all wonderful, and loving, and so very incredible. Don't ever forget that. This was just written because, believe it or not, there is a world outside of the shard, and I spend time there. Sometimes. Usually at the library.

Anyway...yeah. I wrote this.

  Hide contents

I don’t need to be loved to love.

I don’t.

I swear I don’t.

I can love when I hurt.

I can love when I’m lonely.

I can love when there is no sign of a friendly word in response.

I can.

I can care when the world is indifferent.

I can.

I can be there for you when you aren’t here for me.

I can.

I can.

I can.

I can love you.

 

It would just be nice

If you could love me too.

 

Or maybe if I knew

How to show you

I’m worth loving.

If I could show you

How much it hurts to be alone.

 

No, no. 

That’s not it.

Not it at all.

I don’t want to hurt you.

I just don’t want to hurt any longer.

And I think

That if you understood, 

You would help.

Because you are good.

And you are kind.

And you do care

Just not for me.

 

And if you knew just a little bit better,

Then surely 

You’d let me in.

 

Or maybe not.

Maybe

I can never be on the inside.

Not because of you,

Or me,

Or a choice any mortal has made.

But because 

I

Am not perfect.

And neither

Are you.

 

Because maybe

God has called me to care

And maybe

I cannot love

Unless my heart has cracked

Like ice

In the cold that lingers

When I am left outside.

 

And maybe

Once

The pain dulls

To a steady ache,

I can remember,

The joy

That comes

From caring.

The gladness

There is

In loving.

 

And the promise

That every kind word

I say

Is not always

Forgotten.

 

And maybe

Someday

These moments will build

To minutes

To a millennium

Of loving

And of being loved.

 

*hugs*
You deserve to be loved. You will be, because that is God’s plan, he is a loving God. But it’s so hard to live in the present and not be able to be loved by those around you. And I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

 We love you Eddie 

[Aeoryi she/her]

28 minutes ago, Ookla the Believer said:

Note: This isn't aimed towards anyone on the shard. You're all wonderful, and loving, and so very incredible. Don't ever forget that. This was just written because, believe it or not, there is a world outside of the shard, and I spend time there. Sometimes. Usually at the library.

Anyway...yeah. I wrote this.

  Reveal hidden contents

I don’t need to be loved to love.

I don’t.

I swear I don’t.

I can love when I hurt.

I can love when I’m lonely.

I can love when there is no sign of a friendly word in response.

I can.

I can care when the world is indifferent.

I can.

I can be there for you when you aren’t here for me.

I can.

I can.

I can.

I can love you.

 

It would just be nice

If you could love me too.

 

Or maybe if I knew

How to show you

I’m worth loving.

If I could show you

How much it hurts to be alone.

 

No, no. 

That’s not it.

Not it at all.

I don’t want to hurt you.

I just don’t want to hurt any longer.

And I think

That if you understood, 

You would help.

Because you are good.

And you are kind.

And you do care

Just not for me.

 

And if you knew just a little bit better,

Then surely 

You’d let me in.

 

Or maybe not.

Maybe

I can never be on the inside.

Not because of you,

Or me,

Or a choice any mortal has made.

But because 

I

Am not perfect.

And neither

Are you.

 

Because maybe

God has called me to care

And maybe

I cannot love

Unless my heart has cracked

Like ice

In the cold that lingers

When I am left outside.

 

And maybe

Once

The pain dulls

To a steady ache,

I can remember,

The joy

That comes

From caring.

The gladness

There is

In loving.

 

And the promise

That every kind word

I say

Is not always

Forgotten.

 

And maybe

Someday

These moments will build

To minutes

To a millennium

Of loving

And of being loved.

 

<Insert generic cynical comment #4 here>

[Edema Rue she/her]

Hiiiii, *hugs all of you back*

Liz was yelling at me today so I wrote more about her! (If I don't post a sad scene about Ien and Mari tomorrow, someone poke me with a writing stick.)

Spoiler

Ien was curled in the corner of his cell. He whimpered softly. It was so cold. So cold. And dark. When had he last seen the sun? When had he last been warm? He shivered. She would come back soon. With her cruel eyes and her glowing hair and her viscous hands. It was his fault. He knew that. If he’d been braver. Stronger. If he hadn’t let her be taken all those years ago.

He shuddered at the flood of memories. He’d been so afraid. There had been so many of them. And he’d…he’d run. That was the last time he’d seen Liz as he knew her…

Oh, stars.

Liz.

She and Siylna had been his best friends.

They had stood by him through everything. 

Every time he made a mistake, they’d been there, gently correcting him. They had made the Academy not just bearable, but a joy. They’d given meaning to his pointless life. 

And then…

He’d let them take her. 

He didn’t know what had been done to her. 

But whatever it was, it had destroyed his friend, shattered her heart and replaced it with stone. And anger. Liz had always had a temper, but now she was cool, furious but controlled. 

Guilt gnawed at Ien, cut at him deeper than her knives ever could, chained him tighter than the bands around his wrists. 

Mari was in the cell next to him. She opened her mouth as if to say something, then froze, flinching at a familiar sound. Ien flinched too. Every prisoner in the dungeon probably did. 

The cool click of heeled shoes on wet stone. Only one person wore shoes like that into this place. Every footstep filled Ien with more dread.

She might not be coming for him. She didn’t always come for him…

The footsteps got closer.

***

Liz rounded the corner. It hurt her to see Ien like this, but it excited her too. It was working. Stars and spirits, but it was actually working. He was becoming…her champion. Her hero.  And today was an important day, even if he didn’t know it. But he probably did. After all, she hadn’t brought her knives.

“Hello, Ien,” she said, smiling.

“Liz,” he replied, closing his eyes.

“And how are you today?”

He looked up at her. She could imagine the thoughts going through his mind. How dare I do this to him. How dare I cause him this pain and then come pretend to care. And, most of all, how dare he let me become this. Poor boy. If he knew…if he knew how much I really do care. “I’m sorry,” he finally said. “I’m sorry for what you’ve become. And I’m sorry that I didn’t stop it.”

Liz laughed. “I’m not. I’m so much better now than I ever was then. Look around, Ien. I’m a queen.” He looked up at her. His eyes were so large. They made him look younger than he was. She let her eyes soften, let the glow of her magic fade until she was no longer the Lady of Darkness, she was just…Liz. She smiled kindly.

***

Ien knew that smile well. Oh, stars but he knew it. He’d seen it every day for years…

“I have an idea,” Liz said, the same way she always did before suggesting something absurd and exciting, like putting frogs in a Master’s shoes. 

Ien closed his eyes.

“Look at me,” she said sharply, and he snapped his head up, flinching and expecting knives. There were none. Liz was just standing there. “I…” her voice cracked. Ien ached to make it all better, to make her stop hurting…stop it! This isn’t your friend, this is a monster. 

“I miss you,” she whispered, so softly Ien almost thought he’d imagined it.

Without realizing it, Ien whimpered. He clenched his teeth. 

“We could have it all back,” she said, looking at him not with the dark eyes of the monster he’d come to know but with…with Liz’s bright, hopeful gaze. The eyes of a dreamer, he’d always called them. He wanted to run to her, wanted to so badly, but…

He saw movement out of the corner of his eye. Mari. Stars and spirits, Mari. She was pressed against the back of her cell, curling in on herself as much as she could, trying desperately to stay as far from Liz as possible. She looked so afraid. Ien looked up, into Liz’s pleading eyes, into the face of someone who had once been his friend. That person was dead now. Liz…Liz was gone. The person in front of him had hurt so many people, caused so much pain…no matter how much he longed for a past that could never again be, Ien couldn’t join someone so full of hate.

“Go away,” he hissed. “Leave.” He braced himself for her anger, for the force of her magic against him…but it didn’t come.

***

Liz dropped her head. It wasn’t hard to force the tears to her eyes. Some tiny part of her really did miss Ien, though most of her was nearly ecstatic. He said no. He said no, he said no! He knows his lines without even being told his part…oh, spirits. I can’t afford to fall in love with him. “Please,” she whispered. “Please, Ien. It’s so lonely without you. We always said we’d rule the world, well, now’s our chance. Come with me.”

***

“You’re insane,” Ien growled. “I don’t want that, and I never have. I won’t join you, not even if you force me to say the words.” It hurt to say it, hurt so badly. I’m sorry, Lizzy, he thought, a prayer to the ghost of a friend who had died because of his weakness. I’m sorry I ran. I’m sorry I let them make you into…into this. 

Mari was still trembling, and now Liz saw it too. She whirled on the girl. “You! You’re the one filling his head with these lies, turning him on me…” she started to glow, to hover, her eyes burning with hatred. “I’ll kill you.”

Before he even realized it, Ien was on his feet. His legs weren’t shaky any longer, and in a moment he was at the bars of his cell. “Don’t touch her,” he shouted. “She doesn’t have anything to do with this.”

Liz turned back to him. “Make me,” she snarled. “Oh, but you won’t. When the ones you care about are in danger, you run and let us suffer. You are a coward, Iendenn Marsvell.”

Coward. The word burned in Ien’s chest. Coward. Coward…he let out a roar, and a blast of white light flew out of him, knocking Liz back against the wall. “You will not touch her,” he repeated, trying not to look shocked. Where had…where had that come from? He’d never been very skilled with magic, never…

Liz blinked. “How did you…”

“Leave,” Ien said. “And stay away, or I’ll do worse.” To his surprise, it worked.

“Keep the wretch,” Liz muttered, turning and walking out. The click of her footsteps grew steadily quieter until finally, Ien heard the door slam. He fell to the floor, groaning, and vomited. What was that?

Mari rushed to the thin bars between their cells. “Thank you,” she whispered, tears starting to fall. “Thank you, thank you, I’m so sorry, oh, Ien, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…thank you, thank you.”

He nodded, forcing his eyes open. “It’s okay,” he said, coughing. “I’ll be okay. As long as you're here, I'll be okay.”

***

As soon as the door shut, Liz laughed. Long enough that it almost felt like a cackle. “Oh, Ien,” she murmured fondly. “Oh, you blessed hero.” This moment had been crucial, and it had played out perfectly. She’d been working towards his new magic for months now. Every time she cut him, she sent strands of her magic into his blood, gifting it to him freely. She’d had to work slowly; too quickly and he’d notice, or it would destroy him rather than becoming a part of him. He’d have to work to control it, of course, but such a tool would give him just the power he needed to bring her down. 

Liz’s smile turned pained, then. His love for the girl was so strong. She’d wanted it, she’d done it on purpose, she knew he needed Mari to become what she needed him to be, but…stars. Stars and spirits. She hadn’t expected it to hurt so badly. Seeing him jump up the second she threatened Mari hurt worse than a dagger to the heart. 

Why?

Why did it hurt?

Liz sifted through her thoughts slowly, and then she understood.

It hurt because she wanted it.

It hurt because she wanted him to jump up to save her. Because she wanted to be the girl that Ien would do anything to protect. 

It was a stupid thought, and she chastised herself for it.

But the longing didn’t leave. 

She…she didn’t want to be the villain. This was her role, her part, but it wasn’t the one she wanted. She would rather play weak if it meant she got to be his lover. She would lose this bet just to be with him.

No.

No I won’t.

Liz took a breath, and kept walking. It wouldn’t be long, now, before Ien would escape and imprison her. She had things to prepare before then...he would hurt so much more before this was over.

 

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

19 minutes ago, Ookla the Believer said:

Hiiiii, *hugs all of you back*

Liz was yelling at me today so I wrote more about her! (If I don't post a sad scene about Ien and Mari tomorrow, someone poke me with a writing stick.)

  Hide contents

Ien was curled in the corner of his cell. He whimpered softly. It was so cold. So cold. And dark. When had he last seen the sun? When had he last been warm? He shivered. She would come back soon. With her cruel eyes and her glowing hair and her viscous hands. It was his fault. He knew that. If he’d been braver. Stronger. If he hadn’t let her be taken all those years ago.

He shuddered at the flood of memories. He’d been so afraid. There had been so many of them. And he’d…he’d run. That was the last time he’d seen Liz as he knew her…

Oh, stars.

Liz.

She and Siylna had been his best friends.

They had stood by him through everything. 

Every time he made a mistake, they’d been there, gently correcting him. They had made the Academy not just bearable, but a joy. They’d given meaning to his pointless life. 

And then…

He’d let them take her. 

He didn’t know what had been done to her. 

But whatever it was, it had destroyed his friend, shattered her heart and replaced it with stone. And anger. Liz had always had a temper, but now she was cool, furious but controlled. 

Guilt gnawed at Ien, cut at him deeper than her knives ever could, chained him tighter than the bands around his wrists. 

Mari was in the cell next to him. She opened her mouth as if to say something, then froze, flinching at a familiar sound. Ien flinched too. Every prisoner in the dungeon probably did. 

The cool click of heeled shoes on wet stone. Only one person wore shoes like that into this place. Every footstep filled Ien with more dread.

She might not be coming for him. She didn’t always come for him…

The footsteps got closer.

***

Liz rounded the corner. It hurt her to see Ien like this, but it excited her too. It was working. Stars and spirits, but it was actually working. He was becoming…her champion. Her hero.  And today was an important day, even if he didn’t know it. But he probably did. After all, she hadn’t brought her knives.

“Hello, Ien,” she said, smiling.

“Liz,” he replied, closing his eyes.

“And how are you today?”

He looked up at her. She could imagine the thoughts going through his mind. How dare I do this to him. How dare I cause him this pain and then come pretend to care. And, most of all, how dare he let me become this. Poor boy. If he knew…if he knew how much I really do care. “I’m sorry,” he finally said. “I’m sorry for what you’ve become. And I’m sorry that I didn’t stop it.”

Liz laughed. “I’m not. I’m so much better now than I ever was then. Look around, Ien. I’m a queen.” He looked up at her. His eyes were so large. They made him look younger than he was. She let her eyes soften, let the glow of her magic fade until she was no longer the Lady of Darkness, she was just…Liz. She smiled kindly.

***

Ien knew that smile well. Oh, stars but he knew it. He’d seen it every day for years…

“I have an idea,” Liz said, the same way she always did before suggesting something absurd and exciting, like putting frogs in a Master’s shoes. 

Ien closed his eyes.

“Look at me,” she said sharply, and he snapped his head up, flinching and expecting knives. There were none. Liz was just standing there. “I…” her voice cracked. Ien ached to make it all better, to make her stop hurting…stop it! This isn’t your friend, this is a monster. 

“I miss you,” she whispered, so softly Ien almost thought he’d imagined it.

Without realizing it, Ien whimpered. He clenched his teeth. 

“We could have it all back,” she said, looking at him not with the dark eyes of the monster he’d come to know but with…with Liz’s bright, hopeful gaze. The eyes of a dreamer, he’d always called them. He wanted to run to her, wanted to so badly, but…

He saw movement out of the corner of his eye. Mari. Stars and spirits, Mari. She was pressed against the back of her cell, curling in on herself as much as she could, trying desperately to stay as far from Liz as possible. She looked so afraid. Ien looked up, into Liz’s pleading eyes, into the face of someone who had once been his friend. That person was dead now. Liz…Liz was gone. The person in front of him had hurt so many people, caused so much pain…no matter how much he longed for a past that could never again be, Ien couldn’t join someone so full of hate.

“Go away,” he hissed. “Leave.” He braced himself for her anger, for the force of her magic against him…but it didn’t come.

***

Liz dropped her head. It wasn’t hard to force the tears to her eyes. Some tiny part of her really did miss Ien, though most of her was nearly ecstatic. He said no. He said no, he said no! He knows his lines without even being told his part…oh, spirits. I can’t afford to fall in love with him. “Please,” she whispered. “Please, Ien. It’s so lonely without you. We always said we’d rule the world, well, now’s our chance. Come with me.”

***

“You’re insane,” Ien growled. “I don’t want that, and I never have. I won’t join you, not even if you force me to say the words.” It hurt to say it, hurt so badly. I’m sorry, Lizzy, he thought, a prayer to the ghost of a friend who had died because of his weakness. I’m sorry I ran. I’m sorry I let them make you into…into this. 

Mari was still trembling, and now Liz saw it too. She whirled on the girl. “You! You’re the one filling his head with these lies, turning him on me…” she started to glow, to hover, her eyes burning with hatred. “I’ll kill you.”

Before he even realized it, Ien was on his feet. His legs weren’t shaky any longer, and in a moment he was at the bars of his cell. “Don’t touch her,” he shouted. “She doesn’t have anything to do with this.”

Liz turned back to him. “Make me,” she snarled. “Oh, but you won’t. When the ones you care about are in danger, you run and let us suffer. You are a coward, Iendenn Marsvell.”

Coward. The word burned in Ien’s chest. Coward. Coward…he let out a roar, and a blast of white light flew out of him, knocking Liz back against the wall. “You will not touch her,” he repeated, trying not to look shocked. Where had…where had that come from? He’d never been very skilled with magic, never…

Liz blinked. “How did you…”

“Leave,” Ien said. “And stay away, or I’ll do worse.” To his surprise, it worked.

“Keep the wretch,” Liz muttered, turning and walking out. The click of her footsteps grew steadily quieter until finally, Ien heard the door slam. He fell to the floor, groaning, and vomited. What was that?

Mari rushed to the thin bars between their cells. “Thank you,” she whispered, tears starting to fall. “Thank you, thank you, I’m so sorry, oh, Ien, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…thank you, thank you.”

He nodded, forcing his eyes open. “It’s okay,” he said, coughing. “I’ll be okay. As long as you're here, I'll be okay.”

***

As soon as the door shut, Liz laughed. Long enough that it almost felt like a cackle. “Oh, Ien,” she murmured fondly. “Oh, you blessed hero.” This moment had been crucial, and it had played out perfectly. She’d been working towards his new magic for months now. Every time she cut him, she sent strands of her magic into his blood, gifting it to him freely. She’d had to work slowly; too quickly and he’d notice, or it would destroy him rather than becoming a part of him. He’d have to work to control it, of course, but such a tool would give him just the power he needed to bring her down. 

Liz’s smile turned pained, then. His love for the girl was so strong. She’d wanted it, she’d done it on purpose, she knew he needed Mari to become what she needed him to be, but…stars. Stars and spirits. She hadn’t expected it to hurt so badly. Seeing him jump up the second she threatened Mari hurt worse than a dagger to the heart. 

Why?

Why did it hurt?

Liz sifted through her thoughts slowly, and then she understood.

It hurt because she wanted it.

It hurt because she wanted him to jump up to save her. Because she wanted to be the girl that Ien would do anything to protect. 

It was a stupid thought, and she chastised herself for it.

But the longing didn’t leave. 

She…she didn’t want to be the villain. This was her role, her part, but it wasn’t the one she wanted. She would rather play weak if it meant she got to be his lover. She would lose this bet just to be with him.

No.

No I won’t.

Liz took a breath, and kept walking. It wouldn’t be long, now, before Ien would escape and imprison her. She had things to prepare before then...he would hurt so much more before this was over.

 

Don't worry I'll do you one better. I'll set my black writing cat on you

*shivers*

THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!! WHERE DO YOU COME UP WITH THIS? I LOVE IT SO MUCH

[Edema Rue she/her]

Just now, Ookla the Raveness said:

Don't worry I'll do you one better. I'll set my black writing cat on you

*shivers*

THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!! WHERE DO YOU COME UP WITH THIS? I LOVE IT SO MUCH

Hee hee I shall live in terror of your black writing cat  

THANK YOU!! I...GENUINELY DON'T KNOW, BUT I'M SO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS WHOLE THING (hehe all the character arcs are so fun...and tomorrow I'll hopefully write some epic Ien/Mari romance...)

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Just now, Ookla the Believer said:

Hee hee I shall live in terror of your black writing cat  

He'll eat your hair :P

Just now, Ookla the Believer said:

THANK YOU!! I...GENUINELY DON'T KNOW, BUT I'M SO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS WHOLE THING (hehe all the character arcs are so fun...and tomorrow I'll hopefully write some epic Ien/Mari romance...)

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

[Weaver of Lies he/him]

22 hours ago, Ookla the Believer said:

Hiiiii, *hugs all of you back*

Liz was yelling at me today so I wrote more about her! (If I don't post a sad scene about Ien and Mari tomorrow, someone poke me with a writing stick.)

  Reveal hidden contents

Ien was curled in the corner of his cell. He whimpered softly. It was so cold. So cold. And dark. When had he last seen the sun? When had he last been warm? He shivered. She would come back soon. With her cruel eyes and her glowing hair and her viscous hands. It was his fault. He knew that. If he’d been braver. Stronger. If he hadn’t let her be taken all those years ago.

He shuddered at the flood of memories. He’d been so afraid. There had been so many of them. And he’d…he’d run. That was the last time he’d seen Liz as he knew her…

Oh, stars.

Liz.

She and Siylna had been his best friends.

They had stood by him through everything. 

Every time he made a mistake, they’d been there, gently correcting him. They had made the Academy not just bearable, but a joy. They’d given meaning to his pointless life. 

And then…

He’d let them take her. 

He didn’t know what had been done to her. 

But whatever it was, it had destroyed his friend, shattered her heart and replaced it with stone. And anger. Liz had always had a temper, but now she was cool, furious but controlled. 

Guilt gnawed at Ien, cut at him deeper than her knives ever could, chained him tighter than the bands around his wrists. 

Mari was in the cell next to him. She opened her mouth as if to say something, then froze, flinching at a familiar sound. Ien flinched too. Every prisoner in the dungeon probably did. 

The cool click of heeled shoes on wet stone. Only one person wore shoes like that into this place. Every footstep filled Ien with more dread.

She might not be coming for him. She didn’t always come for him…

The footsteps got closer.

***

Liz rounded the corner. It hurt her to see Ien like this, but it excited her too. It was working. Stars and spirits, but it was actually working. He was becoming…her champion. Her hero.  And today was an important day, even if he didn’t know it. But he probably did. After all, she hadn’t brought her knives.

“Hello, Ien,” she said, smiling.

“Liz,” he replied, closing his eyes.

“And how are you today?”

He looked up at her. She could imagine the thoughts going through his mind. How dare I do this to him. How dare I cause him this pain and then come pretend to care. And, most of all, how dare he let me become this. Poor boy. If he knew…if he knew how much I really do care. “I’m sorry,” he finally said. “I’m sorry for what you’ve become. And I’m sorry that I didn’t stop it.”

Liz laughed. “I’m not. I’m so much better now than I ever was then. Look around, Ien. I’m a queen.” He looked up at her. His eyes were so large. They made him look younger than he was. She let her eyes soften, let the glow of her magic fade until she was no longer the Lady of Darkness, she was just…Liz. She smiled kindly.

***

Ien knew that smile well. Oh, stars but he knew it. He’d seen it every day for years…

“I have an idea,” Liz said, the same way she always did before suggesting something absurd and exciting, like putting frogs in a Master’s shoes. 

Ien closed his eyes.

“Look at me,” she said sharply, and he snapped his head up, flinching and expecting knives. There were none. Liz was just standing there. “I…” her voice cracked. Ien ached to make it all better, to make her stop hurting…stop it! This isn’t your friend, this is a monster. 

“I miss you,” she whispered, so softly Ien almost thought he’d imagined it.

Without realizing it, Ien whimpered. He clenched his teeth. 

“We could have it all back,” she said, looking at him not with the dark eyes of the monster he’d come to know but with…with Liz’s bright, hopeful gaze. The eyes of a dreamer, he’d always called them. He wanted to run to her, wanted to so badly, but…

He saw movement out of the corner of his eye. Mari. Stars and spirits, Mari. She was pressed against the back of her cell, curling in on herself as much as she could, trying desperately to stay as far from Liz as possible. She looked so afraid. Ien looked up, into Liz’s pleading eyes, into the face of someone who had once been his friend. That person was dead now. Liz…Liz was gone. The person in front of him had hurt so many people, caused so much pain…no matter how much he longed for a past that could never again be, Ien couldn’t join someone so full of hate.

“Go away,” he hissed. “Leave.” He braced himself for her anger, for the force of her magic against him…but it didn’t come.

***

Liz dropped her head. It wasn’t hard to force the tears to her eyes. Some tiny part of her really did miss Ien, though most of her was nearly ecstatic. He said no. He said no, he said no! He knows his lines without even being told his part…oh, spirits. I can’t afford to fall in love with him. “Please,” she whispered. “Please, Ien. It’s so lonely without you. We always said we’d rule the world, well, now’s our chance. Come with me.”

***

“You’re insane,” Ien growled. “I don’t want that, and I never have. I won’t join you, not even if you force me to say the words.” It hurt to say it, hurt so badly. I’m sorry, Lizzy, he thought, a prayer to the ghost of a friend who had died because of his weakness. I’m sorry I ran. I’m sorry I let them make you into…into this. 

Mari was still trembling, and now Liz saw it too. She whirled on the girl. “You! You’re the one filling his head with these lies, turning him on me…” she started to glow, to hover, her eyes burning with hatred. “I’ll kill you.”

Before he even realized it, Ien was on his feet. His legs weren’t shaky any longer, and in a moment he was at the bars of his cell. “Don’t touch her,” he shouted. “She doesn’t have anything to do with this.”

Liz turned back to him. “Make me,” she snarled. “Oh, but you won’t. When the ones you care about are in danger, you run and let us suffer. You are a coward, Iendenn Marsvell.”

Coward. The word burned in Ien’s chest. Coward. Coward…he let out a roar, and a blast of white light flew out of him, knocking Liz back against the wall. “You will not touch her,” he repeated, trying not to look shocked. Where had…where had that come from? He’d never been very skilled with magic, never…

Liz blinked. “How did you…”

“Leave,” Ien said. “And stay away, or I’ll do worse.” To his surprise, it worked.

“Keep the wretch,” Liz muttered, turning and walking out. The click of her footsteps grew steadily quieter until finally, Ien heard the door slam. He fell to the floor, groaning, and vomited. What was that?

Mari rushed to the thin bars between their cells. “Thank you,” she whispered, tears starting to fall. “Thank you, thank you, I’m so sorry, oh, Ien, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…thank you, thank you.”

He nodded, forcing his eyes open. “It’s okay,” he said, coughing. “I’ll be okay. As long as you're here, I'll be okay.”

***

As soon as the door shut, Liz laughed. Long enough that it almost felt like a cackle. “Oh, Ien,” she murmured fondly. “Oh, you blessed hero.” This moment had been crucial, and it had played out perfectly. She’d been working towards his new magic for months now. Every time she cut him, she sent strands of her magic into his blood, gifting it to him freely. She’d had to work slowly; too quickly and he’d notice, or it would destroy him rather than becoming a part of him. He’d have to work to control it, of course, but such a tool would give him just the power he needed to bring her down. 

Liz’s smile turned pained, then. His love for the girl was so strong. She’d wanted it, she’d done it on purpose, she knew he needed Mari to become what she needed him to be, but…stars. Stars and spirits. She hadn’t expected it to hurt so badly. Seeing him jump up the second she threatened Mari hurt worse than a dagger to the heart. 

Why?

Why did it hurt?

Liz sifted through her thoughts slowly, and then she understood.

It hurt because she wanted it.

It hurt because she wanted him to jump up to save her. Because she wanted to be the girl that Ien would do anything to protect. 

It was a stupid thought, and she chastised herself for it.

But the longing didn’t leave. 

She…she didn’t want to be the villain. This was her role, her part, but it wasn’t the one she wanted. She would rather play weak if it meant she got to be his lover. She would lose this bet just to be with him.

No.

No I won’t.

Liz took a breath, and kept walking. It wouldn’t be long, now, before Ien would escape and imprison her. She had things to prepare before then...he would hurt so much more before this was over.

 

Gently pokes with writing stick.

 This is really good! I need more!

Edited December 18, 2023 by Ookla the foolish

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

22 hours ago, Ookla the Believer said:

Hee hee I shall live in terror of your black writing cat  

THANK YOU!! I...GENUINELY DON'T KNOW, BUT I'M SO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS WHOLE THING (hehe all the character arcs are so fun...and tomorrow I'll hopefully write some epic Ien/Mari romance...)

*boops with cat*

[Aeoryi she/her]

I want to read more and less at the same time I've never had a more emotional split of interest in my life