Five word story

[Edema Rue she/her]

evolved into a large, stinky, 

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

snake. This snake ate every

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

SINGLE. PIECE. OF. CHEESE. All

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

of the fish mourned greatly.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Their cheese had been most

[Weaver of Lies he/him]

Treasured and desired by them

Edited December 16, 2023 by Ookla the foolish

[Lunamor she/her]

because it had properties like

[Faerie Braids she/her]

smiting depression, enemy cheeses, and

[Lunamor she/her]

the bias against expired milk.

[Edema Rue she/her]

These were all helpful because

[Lunamor she/her]

cheese is inherently an effective

[Faerie Braids she/her]

conversation starter for first dates,

Edited January 6 by Faerie Braids
Bolded it

[Ravenclawjedi42]

which may lead to marriage,

[Edema Rue she/her]

Which is sometimes a good

[GeneralHZRD he/him]

way to end wars. Unless 

[Lunamor she/her]

you happen to be a

[Faerie Braids she/her]

secret assassin, in which case

[Weaver of Lies he/him]

just end wars yourself by

[Argenti he/him]

Killing the betrothed with a 

[Argenti he/him]

Quote

Here's the story so far, edited and unedited
(Raw)
 

Spoiler

There once lived a bird. The bird loved his home. And the world around it. He liked to eat flowers. He was eating his chouta. Chouta eating was interrupted, however, by the loudly wailing raven. The raven was named Runaeld. After his home was destroyed, Runaeld grew bitter and angry. He despised the other birds, especially one named Bartimus Crowfeet. Who wasn't a crow, but a blue Jay. Bartimus Crowfeet had no feet. Instead, she had many tentacles.The tentacles were made of Spleens and other organs!! Unfortunately, Runaeld loved eating fresh spleens. Fortunately, the spleens weren't fresh. In fact, they were very very, very, very, very rotten. It tasted sweet with vanilla. And with a batch of Eldritch horror magic it was-
A map to hope appeared. Then it crumbled to dust. NF came, looking for it. But nothing was found there. Nf began singing the search.There was only eldritch runes. The runes were eaten by  the light eating shadows from the edge of the universe where the shadow-eaten lights are among their kind, of the outer expanse. They had on A suit of armor made of stardust, the essential ingredient in the wonderful drink called star fruit punch the ultimate.
It was owned by the IRS and thereby property of the government of the very angry United States of America  and the quite grumpy and quite commendable thaidakar the ghostblood who probably needs to sleep. But probably won't due to Many many many many books. Filled to the brim with references to books authored by the one and the only, the fabulous and quite fanciful the absolutely powerful almighty omega, the amazing, the quite spectacular, the master of all things none other than the famous… Gerald Ze Bippity the 3rd. The Geralds were bound by the ancient powers of the shard of procrastination's vessel named none other than the ubiquitous fitzgerald. His investiture is the great and voluminous ability to kill memes with very stupidity and quite a lot of ban hammer of great Chaos not at all related to Caos, Kaos, Ckaos, or Kcaios Or, for that matter, one of the most powerful, AonEne. Not to be confused with aOneNe, aoNenE, AONENE, or AOnENe. Darth Barnacles was resurrected finally and in his wake leftover pasta from last night's DEATH MARCH. It was no game like candy land and YOU SHALL NOT WIN. WASN'T THAT THE WHOLE POINT OF THE SHARD'S MASTER PLAN SET IN THE LARGE GAME KNOWN as squidgame. In this game various things happen across a wide amount of epochs, including the first age, the second age, the return of the age…
 There are lots of ages. The ages are very long. And they smell of something Something… large. And really fat. In the eighteenth age by man with power of Yelig-nar, the son of the hated cheese lord, Lord of Cheese. The man himself, Rayse Ishar, who was allergic to cheese. He ate cheese anyway, because It was a power play, but he suffered the consequences Because of his son, the Incredibly small, cheese flavored fish. The goat cheese flavored fish, to be precise. He was indeed a cheese flavored fish. Now, our dear friend Jeffrey hated the cheese flavored fish, and decided to kill them!! But the immortal fish survives Just long enough to whisper “I am super duper hungry”. Emboldened by this, the forces of the known fish universe began to spread to the Unknown crabiverse and cause some Extra cheesy trouble. This included all cheese fish to gain Really really really really really Bad Flatulence, and other things. Like an always stuffy nose, but in the end they Decided against doing any yoga, Because they were still fish. Even cheese flavored fish couldn't Do yoga. 
Anyway, there was No stopping anyone from doing whatever they wanted to do. So a young fish learned to seize the shadowmaker and build an army worthy of Alliance in Interstellar Great Houses To conquer the galaxy and Split it up unfairly among The people who didn't join. They really will regret it. They most probably will and then suffer the terrible consequences. Like inactivity or other mirages That cause terrible, awful pain.There is a dead man ati, who was ruin's vessel whom exploded two days ago And so was very dead. in fact, he was so Insufferable in every way. THEN, THE FISH CAME FOR HIM THE FISH WITH LASER FINS WHO EATS MOUNTAINS AND OTHER —s and he could do yoga, and be more flexible because He had really cool lasers.But whenever he used the  so called lasers they shot Other fish, causing them to Become light itself. As light, Ate shadows. But shadows fought Dead people who have died from the light shot from the place it came from. And that pace was light’s book kills those written names just like a book should. 
It shoots towards the blue -sky, skipping through the air. And then it bounced. Like, 20 feet into the air and landed back on the ground, bursting into violent flames. The violent flames were purple. And purple is violet, so violet is violent, and the violet flames were violent. Now, dragons were the cause. Naturally dragons cause a lot of devastation and slaves because, Gold that does not glitter, wanderers into the dragon's hoard. So Be careful where you go And don't fall into traps: traps, you see, are very hard to escape. 
The dragon Loves eating salmon. The Union-of-Salmon-advancement Admired him very very passionately. And somewhat terrified-ly. In fact, I was not there to prevent the overconsumption of salmon And thus he contracted salmonella. Which was very sad. Luckily, the great depression returned. Sadaes had tantrums like a toddler as soon as someone takes away his bridgemen-killing privileges. Unfortunately, He always had more bridgemen to kill. The aforementioned depression secretly only grew stronger as they died one by one until at last, it finally evolved into a large, stinky, snake. This snake ate every SINGLE. PIECE. OF. CHEESE. All of the fish mourned greatly. Treasured and desired by them because it had properties like smiting depression, enemy cheeses, and the bias against expired milk. These were all helpful because cheese is inherently an effective conversation starter for first dates, which may lead to marriage, Which is sometimes a good way to end wars. Unless you happen to be a secret assassin, in which case just end wars yourself by Killing the betrothed with a 
 

(Edited)
 

Spoiler

There once lived a bird. The bird loved his home. And the world around it. He liked to eat flowers. He was eating his chouta. The Chouta eating was interrupted, however, by the loudly wailing raven. The raven was named Runaeld. After his home was destroyed, Runaeld grew bitter and angry. He despised the other birds, especially Bartimus Crowfeet, who wasn't a crow but a Blue Jay. Bartimus Crowfeet had no feet. Instead, she had many tentacles. The tentacles were made of Spleens and other organs!! Unfortunately, Runaeld loved eating fresh spleens. Fortunately, the spleens weren't fresh. In fact, they were very, very, very, very, very, very, very rotten. It tasted sweet with vanilla. And with a batch of Eldritch horror magic, it was-
A map to hope appeared. Then it crumbled to dust. NF came, looking for it. But nothing was found there. Nf began singing the search. There were only eldritch runes. The runes were eaten by the light-eating shadows from the edge of the universe, where the shadow-eaten lights are among their kind of outer expanse. They wore A suit of armor made of stardust, the essential ingredient in the wonderful drink called Star Fruit Punch the ultimate.
The IRS owned it and, thereby, the property of the government of the very angry United States of America and the quite grumpy and quite commendable Thaidakar, the Ghostblood who probably needs to sleep. But probably won't due to Many, many, many, many books. Filled to the brim with references to books authored by the one and the only, the fabulous and quite fanciful, the potent almighty omega, the amazing, the quite spectacular, the master of all things none other than the famous… Gerald Ze Bippity the 3rd. The Geralds were bound by the ancient powers of the shard of procrastination's vessel, the ubiquitous Fitzgerald. His inauguration is the excellent and voluminous ability to kill memes with very stupidity and quite a lot of ban hammer of great Chaos not at all related to Chaos, Kaos, Ckaos, or Kcaios Or, for that matter, one of the most powerful, AonEne. Not to be confused with aOneNe, aoNenE, AONENE, or AOnENe. Darth Barnacles was finally resurrected, and in his wake, there was leftover pasta from last night's DEATH MARCH. It was no game like Candy Land, and YOU SHALL NOT WIN. Wasn't the whole POINT OF THE SHARD'S MASTER PLAN SET IN THE LARGE GAME KNOWN as the squid game? In this game, various things happen across many epochs, including the first age, the second age, the return of the age…
 There are lots of ages. The ages are very long. And they smell of something… significant. And really fat. In the eighteenth age, by a man with the power of Yelig-nar, the son of the hated cheese lord, Lord of Cheese. The man himself, Rayse Ishar, was allergic to cheese. He ate cheese anyway because It was a power play, but he suffered the consequences Because of his son, the Incredibly small, cheese-flavored fish. The goat cheese-flavored fish, to be precise. He was indeed a cheese-flavored fish. Our dear friend Jeffrey hates cheese-flavored fish and has decided to kill them!! But the immortal fish survives Just long enough to whisper, "I am super duper hungry." Emboldened by this, the forces of the known fish universe began to spread to the Unknown crabiverse and cause some Extra cheesy trouble. This included all cheese fish to gain Really, really, really, really, really bad Flatulence and other things. Like a constantly stuffy nose, but in the end, they decided against doing any yoga Because they were still fish. Even cheese-flavored fish couldn't Do yoga. 
Anyway, there was no stopping anyone from doing whatever they wanted to do. So a young fish learned to seize the shadowmaker and build an army worthy of Alliance in Interstellar Great Houses To conquer the galaxy and Split it up unfairly among The people who didn't join. They really will regret it. They most probably will and then suffer terrible consequences. Like inactivity or other mirages That cause terrible, awful pain. There is a dead man named Ati, who was the ruin's vessel which exploded two days ago, and so was dead. He was so insufferable in every way. THEN, THE FISH CAME FOR HIM. THE FISH WITH LASER FINS WHO EATS MOUNTAINS AND OTHER —s and he could do yoga and be more flexible because He had really cool lasers.But whenever he used the so-called lasers, they shot Other fish, causing them to become light themselves. As light, Ate shadows. But shadows fought dead people who had died from the light shot from the place it came from. And that pace in Light's book kills those written names just like a book should. 
It shoots towards the blue -sky, skipping through the air. And then it bounced. Like, 20 feet into the air and landed back on the ground, bursting into violent flames. The violent flames were purple. And purple is violet, so violet is violent, and the violet flames were violent. Now, dragons were the cause. Naturally, dragons cause a lot of devastation and slaves because Gold that does not glitter wanders into the dragon's hoard. So Be careful where you go, And don't fall into traps: traps, you see, are very hard to escape. 
The dragon Loves eating salmon. The Union-of-Salmon-advancement Admired him very very passionately. And somewhat terrified-ly. In fact, I was not there to prevent the overconsumption of salmon, And thus, he contracted salmonella. Which was very sad. Luckily, the great depression returned. Shades had tantrums like a toddler as soon as someone took away his bridgemen-killing privileges. Unfortunately, He always had more bridgemen to kill. The aforementioned depression secretly only grew stronger as they died one by one until, at last, it finally evolved into a large, stinky snake. This snake ate every SINGLE. PIECE. OF. CHEESE. All of the fish mourned greatly. 
They were treasured and desired by them because they had properties like smiting depression, enemy cheeses, and the bias against expired milk. These were all helpful because cheese is inherently an effective conversation starter for first dates, which may lead to marriage, Which is sometimes a good way to end wars. Unless you happen to be a secret assassin, in which case just end wars yourself by Killing the betrothed with a 

 

 

 

 

[One of the Ten Fools he/him]

lethal dose of mushrooms, and  

[The Paradoxical Phenomenon he/him]

Lethal dose of mushrooms, and

[Ravenclawjedi42]

Some knives and a chest.

[Argenti he/him]

Runaeld and his nemesis, Bartimus,

[Faerie Braids she/her]

had been 'assassin and betrothed'

Edited January 11 by Faerie Braids
Grammar