Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Lunamor she/her]

Granted, you get a cello made out of 24 carrots. It gets eaten by a rabbit.

I wish for more pizza places to have stuffed crust.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

2 hours ago, Lunamor said:

I wish for more pizza places to have stuffed crust.

Toxic waste and radioactive depleted Uranium rounds are now routinely stuffed into the earth's crust under every Pizza Parlor in the nation, but the upside of this is that there are way more Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles now. The latest batch were named after famous thinkers from the Enlightenment. There's Diderot (with the Bo), Montesquieu (with the Num Chucks), Rousseau (with the Sai's) and of course, no collection of enlightenment thinkers would be complete without a fearless leader, Sir Tortoise Newton (with the Katanas, and for some reason he's always throwing apples into the air and then cutting them with his katanas as they fall).

 

I wish I had time travel powers, like in the critically acclaimed Disney series "Best Friends Whenever", but I wish that, unlike in the show, that my super best friend time travel powers were activated when I was petting my dog, and he or I thought about a time in the past or the future. I also wish that if either of us was thinking about sleeping in the past or future, and then we decide to go back to the normal timeline after sleeping in the alternative timeline that we would both retain the benefit of having slept more in the alternate timeline. I think I made that sound more complicated then it actually is, but I'm ok with you getting Cultivation if this is too hard for you to get right Nightwatcher. And thanks for all you do to make the world just a little bit weirder, really it's nice.

[AonEne he/him in an enby way]

3 hours ago, Dalakaar said:

I wish women never got periods.

 

3 hours ago, Invocation said:

Granted. Fertility rate plunges as all women have only a single portion of their life where they are able to bear children and from then on are infertile forever.

Not going to go in detail on this conversation because...well, yeah, but THANK YOU. Now if only this were real.

17 minutes ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

I wish I had time travel powers, like in the critically acclaimed Disney series "Best Friends Whenever", but I wish that, unlike in the show, that my super best friend time travel powers were activated when I was petting my dog, and he or I thought about a time in the past or the future. I also wish that if either of us was thinking about sleeping in the past or future, and then we decide to go back to the normal timeline after sleeping in the alternative timeline that we would both retain the benefit of having slept more in the alternate timeline. I think I made that sound more complicated then it actually is, but I'm ok with you getting Cultivation if this is too hard for you to get right Nightwatcher. And thanks for all you do to make the world just a little bit weirder, really it's nice.

Granted. Cultivation steps in to help you out. She makes fun of you, though, but that's your only bane.

I wish to have character ideas. (Like, actual ideas, not just someone saying "you have them now".)

[Kelsier'sGodComplex she/her]

Granted, but every time you have an idea, you throw up.

I wish for the ability to go into the future so I can read Stormlight 4-10!  And Wax and Wayne 4!

[AonEne he/him in an enby way]

8 minutes ago, AonEne said:

I wish to have character ideas. (Like, actual ideas, not just someone saying "you have them now".)

Read the whole post.

[Rebecca she/her]

15 minutes ago, AonEne said:

I wish to have character ideas. (Like, actual ideas, not just someone saying "you have them now".)

How about someone who is like, super book smart, but has absolutely no common sense. And hates pickles.

[Brightness Warrior she/her]

How about someone who is known to most to be mentally unstable, but is just REALLY good at faking it? 

Or perhaps a young person who is known to be very wise, but gets their 'wisdom' from a certain questionable source...

[Arith Matic he/him]

15 hours ago, AonEne said:

 

I wish to have character ideas. (Like, actual ideas, not just someone saying "you have them now".)

The Nightwatcher pulls you aside, makes sure no one is looking, and whispers into your ear a bunch of character ideas, some wacky, some, well, bad.  Such as 

A magic talking dog who bonded a spren

a robot who wears sunglasses

Moash but he's not a complete jerk

And she tells you that you have to come up with their weaknesses yourself, because you can't just add no flaws to a character.  That's a Mary Sue ( or Marty Stu).

After that, the Nightwatcher gives you your bane:

every time you open your mouth, a magic talking dog who bonded a spren comes up to you and scolds you for asking for magical help for writer's block. 

I wish that I had a magic book.  Nothing specific, just magic.

Edited January 9, 2019 by Arith Matic

[Lunamor she/her]

Granted, you get a book that bites your hand every time that you try to open it.

I wish for the ability to know exactly what time it is without having to use something like a watch.

[Arith Matic he/him]

The Nightwatcher grants your wish, and at the snap of her fingers a sundial is magically grafted onto your wrist.  This wouldn't be so bad if the sundial was small, but the Nightwatcher's magic sundial service of choice, Magic Sundials LLC, ran out of mini sundials just this morning, so, (just to be mean really) she ordered the largest sundial they had, the Wizard's Obelisk 2019!  Featuring all sorts of wonderful  gadgets, like cup holders, a GPS, radio, and it even doubles as a cooler!  But, this sundial is, incredibly large and you are pinned down by your arm for the rest of your life.  But, they do make a movie based on your experiences called 127 years!

 

I wish for a good old fashioned ham radio.

[Karnage]

Granted, but three days after you get it somebody steals it from you.

I wish to be just as Awesome as Lift.

[Arith Matic he/him]

The Nightwatcher is confused by your statement, so, she made you exactly like Lift, but well, way more hastily put together.  The result is the following:

• Always feels hungry, but cannot consume stormlight
• carries around a plastic rod, claims its magic
• radiant powers (this is not very unchanged, but you didn't bond a spren so the Nightwatcher just makes you very slippery {like a greased up frozen slip and slide})

So, Immediately after, you feel a deathly hunger about you.  You try to walk away but you slip and fall, and slide for quite a long time.  You try to get up but you are just to slippery, and so you are forced to eat 12 hours a day, and slide around on your stomach while doing so.

 

I wish I could play the esteemed board game Fortnite Monopoly without purchasing it first, just to see how bad it really is.

[Lunamor she/her]

Granted, it is so bad that you are traumatized by playing it and vow to never play board games again.

I wish for unlimited free movie tickets.

[Kelsier'sGodComplex she/her]

Granted, but they are all to B-list movies anf they are all on Monday mornings.

I wish for the ablity to go invisible at will.

[Lunamor she/her]

Granted, you can now say “invisible” at will. 

I wish for the ability to control the weather.

[Brightness Warrior she/her]

8 hours ago, Arith Matic said:

Moash but he's not a complete jerk

HOW? This just isn't possible. 

Also, your wish is granted. You are instantly transformed into Zeus. Your bane is to lose your sense of humor completely.

I wish to be able to know that I am hungry for and not just that I'm hungry but not for ______. (Fill in the blank with any food that's easily accessible, is leftovers, or is desired by any normal person at any given time. Basically, most food ever.)

[Lunamor she/her]

Granted, but every food from now on tastes like zucchini.

I wish to not have to watch commercials.

[+Invocation]

6 minutes ago, Lunamor said:

I wish to not have to watch commercials.

Granted. You no longer have eyes to watch commercials with. Your senses are enhanced to counter for that, however (and here's the bane) your brain is constantly tuned to whatever radio station is currently playing the most obnoxious jingle commercial at any given moment, just loud enough that you can never forget about it.

I wish to win sole jackpot on the next lottery ticket I buy and be able to redeem it for fully valued cash. (Before someone calls me selfish, it's not for selfish reasons. I won't disclose why exactly, but it's not just for enriching myself)

Edited January 10, 2019 by Invocation

[Dalakaar he/him]

10 minutes ago, Invocation said:

I wish to win sole jackpot on the next lottery ticket I buy and be able to redeem it for fully valued cash. (Before someone calls me selfish, it's not for selfish reasons. I won't disclose why exactly, but it's not just for enriching myself)

Granted, they don't even tax you on it. Unfortunately you realize you are in fact selfish and spend it all on a statue of yourself in a major metropolitan area. (Your choice which city.)

---

I wish to watch a cage-fight between Moash and the Anti-Moash gang, but Moash gets his powers!

[Arith Matic he/him]

2 minutes ago, Invocation said:

I wish to not have to watch commercials.

The nightwatcher shakes her head, sighs, and buys you a premium subscription to a popular Cosmere streaming service, DirectCosmere.  You get home, excited to try out this new streaming service, but it takes you forever to find an HDMI cable long enough only to find out that you need some weird port that you need to buy off of a popular Cosmere online shopping site, Cosmerezon (yeah couldn't think of anything else).  It takes about 6 business days.  You wake up  the next week excited, and finally hook up the darn thing.  You hook it up and turn on the tv only to find that the television doesn't even really exist, so, you don't have to watch commercials, or anything annoying really.

 

4 minutes ago, Invocation said:

I wish to win sole jackpot on the next lottery ticket I buy and be able to redeem it for fully valued cash. (Before someone calls me selfish, it's not for selfish reasons. I won't disclose why exactly, but it's not just for enriching myself)

The Nightwatcher grants the wish, and you get 250 million in Vietnamese dong, which is about 5,749,812,500,00 in single bills.  Good luck getting that back to your living area!

fortunately, you have a lot of money now, and you dish out some money to a totally serious popular Cosmere logistics service, Cosmere  to Z (really).  This operation is huge, and so is it's cost.  So you are forced to pay 249,999,87.34 to the disgruntled and tired logistical service, leaving you with quite the fortune in rupees.

 

I wish that Weird Al Yankovic could sing "I want to be cool" by Baljeet in the season 2 episode 34 episode: "The Wizard Of Id'.

[+Invocation]

10 minutes ago, Dalakaar said:

I wish to watch a cage-fight between Moash and the Anti-Moash gang, but Moash gets his powers!

I win alone, because if Moash gets his powers, I get my guns, and he's gonna run out of Stormlight before I run out of bullets to put in his head.

----This is not a continuation of the thread, just a comment, this post means nothing in the grand scheme of this thread----

[Kidpen he/him]

12 minutes ago, Arith Matic said:

I wish that Weird Al Yankovic could sing "I want to be cool" by Baljeet in the season 2 episode 34 episode: "The Wizard Of Id'.

Granted. The Nightwatcher, realizing that this must be the entire purpose she was even created, is yet unable to resist giving you a bane. So Weird Al dies the day after creating this music video.

He is 100% satisfied with his life and the last thing he ever did.

I wish I could have any type of ice cream any time.

[Eris she/her]

Granted you'll have any type of ice cream at any time but that is all you can eat and drink

I wish I had a snickers bar

[Lunamor she/her]

Granted, but now you can never stop snickering.

I wish for a Red Ryder Carbine-action 200-shot Range Model Air Rifle.

[AonEne he/him in an enby way]

11 hours ago, Arith Matic said:

Moash but he's not a complete jerk

So...no difference from regular Moash? (I'd love to debate any of you on this. He's made questionable decisions, but technically he's never been a jerk, if we're going by the definition of the word.)

20 minutes ago, Lunamor said:

I wish for a Red Ryder Carbine-action 200-shot Range Model Air Rifle.

Granted, but it can also turn into a scythe. You may be wondering why this is a bane. Well, you have the entire company of Rooster Teeth chasing you down for copyright issues, so...better get used to life on the run?

I wish for a garden of roses and a Christmas tree.