Question 4

[Edgedancer he/him]

voidgaze DIES!????????

Thrice but she gets better.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

voidgaze DIES!????????

She got better.

[Newan he/him]

Oh. oh yeah. ok.  Whew.  I was freaking out there for a sec. Yeah reincarnation and stuff ok. I thought you meant, like, permanently.  But you meant the first time Nighthound and Voidgaze met.  Ok that makes sense.

Edited December 5, 2014 by Newan

[Edgedancer he/him]

Oh. oh yeah. ok.  Whew.  I was freaking out there for a sec. Yeah reincarnation and stuff ok.

I admit, your reaction was kind of hilarious. If it makes you fell better, of all my Portland characters Voidgaze is the least likely to die, ironically she´s the only one I don´t have concrete plans for after Portland.

[Newan he/him]

I admit, your reaction was kind of hilarious. If it makes you fell better, of all my Portland characters Voidgaze is the least likely to die, ironically she´s the only one I don´t have concrete plans for after Portland.

 

You had me all like 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

You had me all like 

 

Repeat after me: And then Nighthound died. And then Nighthound died. 

 

It's a relaxation exercise. We're quite fond of it.

[A Joe in the Bush]

I killed Voidgaze the Second time, (And chucked her corpse out a Dorway) But who killed her the third time? I don't recall that.

[mail-mi he/him]

I killed Voidgaze the Second time, (And chucked her corpse out a Dorway) But who killed her the third time? I don't recall that.

 

I believe those are referred to as Aons. 

[Kobold King he/him]

What would Funtimes do if she found a lamp with a genie in it?  #randomthoughtswithnorealconnectiontoanything

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

What would Funtimes do if she found a lamp with a genie in it?  #randomthoughtswithnorealconnectiontoanything

 

Funtimes drew a long, delighted gasp, hands fluttering beside her cheeks. "You're a genie! You were in that lamp and now you're not and you're here and it's so amazing and—" 

 

It took every ounce of control the genie possessed to keep from rolling his eyes, disguising his irritation with a deep bow. "I know all that, mistress. Now. What is your wish?" 

 

She bounced on the balls of her feet, covering her mouth with both hands. A squeal escaped her lips. "Wish! I love wishes! I used to make them at birthday parties and I never got what I wanted except for that one year but now you're here and you're giving me a wish and I can get anything I want and share it and—" She squealed again, throwing her arms around the genie. "I love you I love you I just met you and I love you so much!" 

 

The genie sighed. Why did only weirdos rub his lamp?

 

For the record, I pictured the genie from Once Upon a Time. 

Edited December 6, 2014 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Kobold King he/him]

Funtimes drew a long, delighted gasp, hands fluttering beside her cheeks. "You're a genie! You were in that lamp and now you're not and you're here and it's so amazing and—" 

 

It took every ounce of control the genie possessed to keep from rolling his eyes, disguising his irritation with a deep bow. "I know all that, mistress. Now. What is your wish?" 

 

She bounced on the balls of her feet, covering her mouth with both hands. A squeal escaped her lips. "Wish! I love wishes! I used to make them at birthday parties and I never got what I wanted except for that one year but now you're here and you're giving me a wish and I can get anything I want and share it and—" She squealed again, throwing her arms around the genie. "I love you I love you I just met you and I love you so much!" 

 

The genie sighed. Why did only weirdos rub his lamp?

 

For the record, I pictured the genie from Once Upon a Time. 

 

"Now before we get started, there are a few rules to wishing."

 

Lightwards glared. "Get on with them, then."

 

"First rule," the genie said solemnly. "My power is great, but I cannot raise up the dead--"

 

"Not a problem," Lightwards interrupted. "I'm already covered on that front. Carry on."

 

The genie blinked in surprise. Usually that was the first rule people expressed dismay over. "Second rule," he continued, "I cannot make anyone fall in love with you."

 

This time the man in the green bowler hat actually snorted. "Again, not an issue. I wouldn't waste a wish on such frivolity."

 

"Third rule," the genie continued on, now mildly annoyed. "You are not permitted to wish for more wishes."

 

Lightwards finally frowned at that one. "Hmm..." he thought out loud. "Can I wish for executive power over the laws of wishing?"

 

"No, you may not."

 

"Can I wish for another genie in a lamp?" he ventured again.

 

"No."

 

Lightwards glared for a moment before regaining his composure. "Very well," he proclaimed. "My three wishes. Firstly, I wish to no longer suffer mental decay after resurrections. Secondly, I wish for my necromantic limit to be removed. And finally, I wish for veto power over whom Calamity decides to grant Epic powers to."

 

So do I, oddly enough. 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

"Now before we get started, there are a few rules to wishing."

 

Lightwards glared. "Get on with them, then."

 

"First rule," the genie said solemnly. "My power is great, but I cannot raise up the dead--"

 

"Not a problem," Lightwards interrupted. "I'm already covered on that front. Carry on."

 

The genie blinked in surprise. Usually that was the first rule people expressed dismay over. "Second rule," he continued, "I cannot make anyone fall in love with you."

 

This time the man in the green bowler hat actually snorted. "Again, not an issue. I wouldn't waste a wish on such frivolity."

 

"Third rule," the genie continued on, now mildly annoyed. "You are not permitted to wish for more wishes."

 

Lightwards finally frowned at that one. "Hmm..." he thought out loud. "Can I wish for executive power over the laws of wishing?"

 

"No, you may not."

 

"Can I wish for another genie in a lamp?" he ventured again.

 

"No."

 

Lightwards glared for a moment before regaining his composure. "Very well," he proclaimed. "My three wishes. Firstly, I wish to no longer suffer mental decay after resurrections. Secondly, I wish for my necromantic limit to be removed. And finally, I wish for veto power over whom Calamity decides to grant Epic powers to."

 

So do I, oddly enough. 

 

The genie took in the young man's bright green shirt and red shoes, standing in sharp contrast to his dark suit and duster. He stifled a groan. Definitely with the Wacko Brigade. "Allow me to name the rules before I begin." 

 

"No raising the dead, no making people fall in love with you, no wishing for more wishes." He gave a small, self-conscious smile. "Funtimes was complaining." 

 

The genie blinked in surprise. "Well, then, if you know the rules, I suppose you have your wishes all laid out?" 

 

"Uh, yeah. Number one, I want my friends in Newcago protected until Fortuity dies in a way that doesn't make them suspects. At all. I want Enforcement to look at them and say, 'No way they're suspects, even thinking that's a waste of time.' And I don't want them targeted by any other Epics, either. If, uh, if that's possible." 

 

"Consider it done." It wasn't often people wished for favorable circumstances, which was a shame. The genie was seldom presented with the opportunity to twist probability itself to the point where no one recognized his handiwork, and there was always fun in anonymity. "What's next? A unicorn, I suppose?" 

 

"Nah, there's an Epic at the zoo who can do that." The young man studied the ground, hands stuffed in his pockets. He looked up with a small frown. "You couldn't get Funtimes to act a little less scary, could you? I mean, I'm not asking for a miracle; I just want a decent conversation. If I'm going to date her, I kind of want to at least know her favorite movie." 

 

The genie smiled appreciatively. "Another long-term wish for favorable circumstances. You don't bother with flashiness, do you?" 

 

He smiled. "I'd rather blend in. Safer that way."

 

"And what of your final wish?" 

 

"I don't know. What do you think I need?" 

 

"A Ferrari?" 

 

"Funtimes can do that. I've got food, shelter, world peace won't happen unless you get rid of that whole free will thing—" 

 

"Which I couldn't do anyway, as that would require forcing enemies to love one another." 

 

"Right, right." The ginger shrugged. "I dunno. Oh—wait! I want every episode of Doctor Who, Classics included, on a mobile that won't crash or break or anything." 

 

The genie regarded him for a long moment. "Your last wish is for a TV show?" 

 

He gave that self-deprecating smile again. "It's my favorite." 

 

The genie let the silence linger before stepping forward. The ginger looked as though he would like very much to step back. "I have one question for you." 

 

"'Kay?" 

 

He smiled. "Would you like the lost episodes included on that mobile?"

 

It would be in character for Nathan to free the genie with his last wish, but I assumed other people would want to have their characters get their wishes granted first.  

[A Joe in the Bush]

Theory: Prof’s Backstory and Identity

Known Facts:

First, Prof is a Highly educated man.

Second, Prof has a Name, but prefers to go by Prof, instead of John.

Third, Using Epic Powers Changes your personality.

Lastly, Prof has has a close knit group of 6 friends. (If you include Conflux)

 

Assumptions:

Formerly lived in Hawaii.

Moved away following a Shipwreck.

 

Conclusion:

This is Prof:

 

If you don't get the reference, you need to rethink your childhood.

Edited December 6, 2014 by The Only Joe

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Theory: Prof’s Backstory and Identity

Known Facts:

First, Prof is a Highly educated man.

Second, Prof has a Name, but prefers to go by Prof, instead of John.

Third, Using Epic Powers Changes your personality.

Lastly, Prof has has a close knit group of 6 friends. (If you include Conflux)

Assumptions:

Formerly lived in Hawaii.

Moved away following a Shipwreck.

Conclusion:

This is Prof:

If you don't get the reference, you need to go back in time.

This is the best and only permissible theory involving Prof's past.

[Edgedancer he/him]

I killed Voidgaze the Second time, (And chucked her corpse out a Dorway) But who killed her the third time? I don't recall that.

Voidgaze died twice in her fight with Nighthound, although if you want to be really tecnical she killed herself the first time when she collapsed a part of the ceiling.

 

What would Funtimes do if she found a lamp with a genie in it?  #randomthoughtswithnorealconnectiontoanything

Genie wishes, huh. Voidgaze´s would probably depend on her current situation but I´m pretty sure what Nighthound´s would be and they would be terrible.

1)Permanently depower every Epic that isn´t me.

2)Make me immune to my weakness.

3)Kill yourself and let me watch.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Voidgaze died twice in her fight with Nighthound, although if you want to be really tecnical she killed herself the first time when she collapsed a part of the ceiling.

Genie wishes, huh. Voidgaze´s would probably depend on her current situation but I´m pretty sure what Nighthound´s would be and they would be terrible.

1)Permanently depower every Epic that isn´t me.

2)Make me immune to my weakness.

3)Kill yourself and let me watch.

Mine:

1. That Nighthound would die in the next two minutes.

2. That none of his wishes would be granted.

3. A pug puppy.

Take that, Nighthound.

Edited December 6, 2014 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Kobold King he/him]

Voidgaze died twice in her fight with Nighthound, although if you want to be really tecnical she killed herself the first time when she collapsed a part of the ceiling.

 

Genie wishes, huh. Voidgaze´s would probably depend on her current situation but I´m pretty sure what Nighthound´s would be and they would be terrible.

1)Permanently depower every Epic that isn´t me.

2)Make me immune to my weakness.

3)Kill yourself and let me watch.

Backtrack's wishes:

"Ooh, a genie! I get three wishes, right?"

"Yes. However there are a few simple rules--"

"I wish for Koschei the Deathless to be dead!"

"Um... first, you're not listening to the rules, and secondly--"

"Right, my second wish. I wish for a team of women who're paid to follow me around and lament my misfortunes all the time."

"Are you sure you don't want to think about these wishes more? You only have one left and you'll regret blowing them all--"

"Final wish! I wish for Reader to become permanently allergic to wine."

The genie sighed. "Fine. I give up. Wishes granted: Koschei is dead, these women will lament your misfortunes, and Reader is throwing a tantrum in his office as we speak."

"Awesome!" Backtrack exclaimed with a beam. Abruptly, a sudden frown went over his face. "Wait. I forgot to wish for a prime invincibility--"

The genie, almost imperceptibly, seemed to give a smirk as he vanished into vapor, the lamp shortly in tow.

Backtrack stared dumbly at where the lamp was a moment before. "Oh well," he sighed. "At least I got my wishes..."

"Oh, woe is Backtrack," a familiar voice said in an exaggerated lament. "All alone with useless wishes."

Backtrack whipped his head around, startled to see Sam and Revolution standing nearby. "What are you guys doing here...?" he asked slowly.

Sam shrugged. "Beats me. Some guy showed up, brought us here, and offered to give us a paycheck for following you around whining about your misfortunes." She raised her voice into a shrill whimper. "Oh woe is me! I wasted all my wishes and now I'm all alone! Also nobody loves me. Woe is me!"

A pair of comically large paychecks appeared next to the girls in a poof of smoke. Backtrack slowly took off his sunglasses, curled into a little ball, and began blubbering.

Edited December 6, 2014 by Kobold King

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Backtrack's wishes:

"Ooh, a genie! I get three wishes, right?"

"Yes. However there are a few simple rules--"

"I wish for Koschei the Deathless to be dead!"

"Um... first, you're not listening to the rules, and secondly--"

"Right, my second wish. I wish for a team of women who're paid to follow me around and lament my misfortunes all the time."

"Are you sure you don't want to think about these wishes more? You only have one left and you'll regret blowing them all--"

"Final wish! I wish for Reader to become permanently allergic to wine."

The genie sighed. "Fine. I give up. Wishes granted: Koschei is dead, these women will lament your misfortunes, and Reader is throwing a tantrum in his office as we speak."

"Awesome!" Backtrack exclaimed with a beam. Abruptly, a sudden frown went over his face. "Wait. I forgot to wish for a prime invincibility--"

The genie, almost imperceptibly, seemed to give a smirk as he vanished into vapor, the lamp shortly in tow.

Backtrack stared dumbly at where the lamp was a moment before. "Oh well," he sighed. "At least I got my wishes..."

"Oh, woe is Backtrack," a familiar voice said in an exaggerated lament. "All alone with useless wishes."

Backtrack whipped his head around, startled to see Sam and Revolution standing nearby. "What are you guys doing here...?" he asked slowly.

Sam shrugged. "Beats me. Some guy showed up, brought us here, and offered to give us a paycheck for following you around whining about your misfortunes." She raised her voice into a shrill whimper. "Oh woe is me! I wasted all my wishes and now I'm all alone! Also nobody loves me. Woe is me!"

A pair of comically large paychecks appeared next to the girls in a poof of smoke. Backtrack slowly took off his sunglasses, curled into a little ball, and began blubbering.

 

Even before the regal man opened his mouth, the genie knew he would not enjoy granting his wishes. He tried to keep the tremble from his voice. "Allow me to name the rules, before we begin. First, I cannot force anyone to love you or another." 

 

"Perfect," Koschei said. "My first wish is that all who see me would fear me as their god." 

 

The genie tried not to wince. "I cannot revive the dead." 

 

Koschei frowned. "Can you grant me that gift?" 

 

"No." And I'm never going to try, the genie nearly added. He had never been asked for that gift, but he would not use Koschei the Deathless as his guinea pig. 

 

"Fine. Grant me an army of powerful Epics, but none more powerful than I, that I may conquer all I see." 

 

"Last rule." Please, please let this one keep his last wish unfulfilled. "You may not wish for more wishes." 

 

Koschei smiled. His smile was far more terrifying than his scowls. "I wish for Remington Springfield, unarmed and restrained, here beside me." 

 

With a wave of his hand, the hunter appeared, unarmed and tied hand and foot. "There you go. Now, if you don't mind, I really must be—" 

 

The genie wasn't sure how he did it. He thought it impossible. But somehow, someway, Remington hopped toward the lamp and managed to rub his toe against it. 

 

"I wish neither of Koschei's other wishes would be granted, I wish he would die with his weakness in effect, and I wish you never had to grant a wish you didn't want to grant." 

 

"What?" Koschei's hand was on his knife. The instant he touched the hilt, he fell to the ground. The genie felt for a pulse, found none, and smiled. 

 

"I'm sorry, Koschei," the genie told the dead Epic, "but you never wished for a gag."

Edited December 6, 2014 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Guess what we're getting, guys. 

[A Joe in the Bush]

I was going to go with the classic, "Are we getting a Pony?" But we already have a state full of Ponies.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

I was going to go with the classic, "Are we getting a Pony?" But we already have a state full of Ponies.

 

Oregon has more than enough ponies, and I could create one in just a few minutes. Guess again. 

[A Joe in the Bush]

Is Firefight coming out early?

[Edgedancer he/him]

Guess what we're getting, guys. 

Our own sub-forum?

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Is Firefight coming out early?

 

I wish.  

 

Our own sub-forum?

 

[Kobold King he/him]

Guess what we're getting, guys.

Our just desserts?

EDIT: OMIGOSHOMIGOSHOMIGOSH

Really?

Edited December 6, 2014 by Kobold King