Question 4

[Fatebreaker he/him]

I had no idea Lightwards was a supporter of spam! And he intends to further the monstrosity?

 

HE MUST BE STOPPED!!! TO ARMS, ALL LOVERS OF REAL MEAT!!!!!

[Kobold King he/him]

It is very easy to picture Sam doing that. If she says anything against Funtimes once she and the others are alone, he'll definitely tell her not to antagonize her. Not defend her, exactly, but he'll definitely point out how things could be much, much worse than they are. (Newcago Epics weren't inclined to call servers "friends," much less dress them like the Tenth Doctor and parade them around Oregon.) 

 

• Funtimes sees most people as friends until proven otherwise, while Lightwards judges everyone preemptively and long afterward; 
• Funtimes attempts to rule by love, while Lightwards rules by fear; 
• Funtimes enjoys living in the moment, while Lightwards seems to view happiness as a sign of idiocy. 

And of course, there's the fact that Lightwards dresses like the college professor he was, while Funtimes dresses like the biggest, most colorful target you could ask for.

 

 

Good. That proves you are sane.

 

It'd be a very Sam-like thing to do. And yes, she'll probably say something anti-Funtimes next time she has a private conversation with Nathan. It wouldn't take much to convince her that things could be worse; just saying "At least she doesn't put us in dog collars" would probably be enough.

 

(Which reminds me that I have a dog named Sam. Somehow I never made the mental connection between the dog and the character before today.  )

 

• Lightwards' actions are all part of a single agenda in his plan for the world; Funtimes generally doesn't have any plans for her life aside from short-term desires.
• Lightwards views romance with a vehement bitterness; Funtimes has enough exes to fill an entire villainous League.

They make for an entertaining couple as allies; they could be even more interesting as enemies.

[Voidus]

You both forgot

• Lightwards is a stupid meanieface of lame, Funtimes is awesomeness personified. (Well personified and glitterified)

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

It'd be a very Sam-like thing to do. And yes, she'll probably say something anti-Funtimes next time she has a private conversation with Nathan. It wouldn't take much to convince her that things could be worse; just saying "At least she doesn't put us in dog collars" would probably be enough.

 

(Which reminds me that I have a dog named Sam. Somehow I never made the mental connection between the dog and the character before today.  )

 

• Lightwards' actions are all part of a single agenda in his plan for the world; Funtimes generally doesn't have any plans for her life aside from short-term desires.
• Lightwards views romance with a vehement bitterness; Funtimes has enough exes to fill an entire villainous League.

They make for an entertaining couple as allies; they could be even more interesting as enemies.

 

He has plenty more stories about how much worse things can get, even if he never mentions Fortuity. Customer service jobs are bad enough, but when your most faithful customers happen to be serial killers who don't have to fear the law….well. You could argue that things are better or worse in Oregon; either way you'd have a valid point. 

 

(Huh. What kind of dog, out of curiosity?) 

 

• Funtimes likes animals because she thinks they're cute; Lightwards views them as part of his army. 
• Funtimes has (some) fond memories of the years before she got her powers; Lightwards looks back on his pre-Calamity self with scorn. 
• In the Potterverse, Funtimes would have enough genuinely positive memories to cast a corporeal Patronus (provided she could focus long enough to cast the spell ); Lightwards' positive memories are all tainted by megalomania and hatred and would therefore be unusable. 
• Funtimes is best described as "mercurial," her moods changing at the drop of a hat; Lightwards is nearly always various shades of surly and unpleasant, but far more stable in his moods. 

 

Agreed on the enemies bit. As allies, they're alternately formidable and hilarious, the way they play off each other. As enemies, they've accumulated enough mutual hatred to really pull out all the stops with one another. If that fragile alliance were broken, and they were free to respond to one another however they liked, they could both do some pretty frightening things. 

[Kobold King he/him]

He has plenty more stories about how much worse things can get, even if he never mentions Fortuity. Customer service jobs are bad enough, but when your most faithful customers happen to be serial killers who don't have to fear the law….well. You could argue that things are better or worse in Oregon; either way you'd have a valid point. 

 

(Huh. What kind of dog, out of curiosity?) 

 

• Funtimes likes animals because she thinks they're cute; Lightwards views them as part of his army. 
• Funtimes has (some) fond memories of the years before she got her powers; Lightwards looks back on his pre-Calamity self with scorn. 
• In the Potterverse, Funtimes would have enough genuinely positive memories to cast a corporeal Patronus (provided she could focus long enough to cast the spell ); Lightwards' positive memories are all tainted by megalomania and hatred and would therefore be unusable. 
• Funtimes is best described as "mercurial," her moods changing at the drop of a hat; Lightwards is nearly always various shades of surly and unpleasant, but far more stable in his moods. 

 

Agreed on the enemies bit. As allies, they're alternately formidable and hilarious, the way they play off each other. As enemies, they've accumulated enough mutual hatred to really pull out all the stops with one another. If that fragile alliance were broken, and they were free to respond to one another however they liked, they could both do some pretty frightening things. 

 

I've got a rough idea in my head for what Sam's part of Portland has been like; in my head at least, I've envisioned the Museum Quartet as being the dominant Epics in this part of town. They would have been more reclusive Epics than Lightwards or Fortuity; instead of demanding constant service and engaging in systematic atrocities, their brutal acts would have been more random. Headshot would use random passerby for "target practice," despite the fact that his power kept his skills perpetually sharp; Hotwire would arrange impromptu demolition derbies on busy streets; Quickslide started off by simply making people fall on their faces and laughing at them, but eventually escalated towards carrying a pistol around and murdering anyone who called him "Butterfingers." Sam barely escaped with her life.

 

(Dog!Sam is an Australian Shepherd. A male Australian Shepherd.)

 

It's unclear who would win; Funtimes is greater in terms of raw power, but I'd bet Lightwards is wily and cautious enough to hold his own. Funtimes would also be spread more thinly than he, since she'd be forced to constantly protect her vanillas from harm's way while he'd have no one but himself to worry about. And if Lightwards succeeded in striking up a permanent alliance with Lucentia... well, let's just say that however the fight turns out, the state of Oregon will lose.

[A Joe in the Bush]

I found a Meme Generator.

 

Lightwards:

 

Sightline:

 

Nathan:

 

I don't Apologize.

Edited December 13, 2014 by The Only Joe

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

I've got a rough idea in my head for what Sam's part of Portland has been like; in my head at least, I've envisioned the Museum Quartet as being the dominant Epics in this part of town. They would have been more reclusive Epics than Lightwards or Fortuity; instead of demanding constant service and engaging in systematic atrocities, their brutal acts would have been more random. Headshot would use random passerby for "target practice," despite the fact that his power kept his skills perpetually sharp; Hotwire would arrange impromptu demolition derbies on busy streets; Quickslide started off by simply making people fall on their faces and laughing at them, but eventually escalated towards carrying a pistol around and murdering anyone who called him "Butterfingers." Sam barely escaped with her life.

(Dog!Sam is an Australian Shepherd. A male Australian Shepherd.)

It's unclear who would win; Funtimes is greater in terms of raw power, but I'd bet Lightwards is wily and cautious enough to hold his own. Funtimes would also be spread more thinly than he, since she'd be forced to constantly protect her vanillas from harm's way while he'd have no one but himself to worry about. And if Lightwards succeeded in striking up a permanent alliance with Lucentia... well, let's just say that however the fight turns out, the state of Oregon will lose.

Since most Portlanders seem smart enough to not call an Epic "Butterfingers," I imagine he'd trick people into calling him Butterfingers so he could shoot them. In some ways, that's more dangerous than what Nathan had to deal with; so long as he was respectful and subservient, he was safe from all but the worst. And when he got to know some of the regulars well enough to get them what they wanted before they asked, he managed to do pretty well. Of course, there were always the awful Epics who took pleasure in dashing hope whenever possible, but to never know whether it would be a "Derby Day" or a day when you had to stay away from windows because of homing bullets, or a perfectly ordinary day when you could walk outside without fear of harm--that would be draining on a deeply emotional level.

()

Funtimes would definitely need an army of her own. She's creative enough to come up with some ways to both fight Lightwards and protect her vanillas. (And if/when Nathan introduces her to Doctor Who, she will have a whole new well of terrors to draw from. Imagine Lightwards vs. her version of Daleks or Toclophane--though without the creepy aliens or severed heads inside.) But you're right: whoever wins, Oregon will lose.

Edit: Don't apologize, Joe. Don't ever apologize.

Edited December 13, 2014 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Kobold King he/him]

Since most Portlanders seem smart enough to not call an Epic "Butterfingers," I imagine he'd trick people into calling him Butterfingers so he could shoot them. In some ways, that's more dangerous than what Nathan had to deal with; so long as he was respectful and subservient, he was safe from all but the worst. And when he got to know some of the regulars well enough to get them what they wanted before they asked, he managed to do pretty well. Of course, there were always the awful Epics who took pleasure in dashing hope whenever possible, but to never know whether it would be a "Derby Day" or a day when you had to stay away from windows because of homing bullets, or a perfectly ordinary day when you could walk outside without fear of harm--that would be draining on a deeply emotional level.

()

Funtimes would definitely need an army of her own. She's creative enough to come up with some ways to both fight Lightwards and protect her vanillas. (And if/when Nathan introduces her to Doctor Who, she will have a whole new well of terrors to draw from. Imagine Lightwards vs. her version of Daleks or Toclophane--though without the creepy aliens or severed heads inside.) But you're right: whoever wins, Oregon will lose.

Edit: Don't apologize, Joe. Don't ever apologize.

I think the randomness of the Museum Epics may have assisted in developing Sam's snarkiness as opposed to Nathan's subservience. In Newcago every child's taught from an early age that beeing disrespectful to an Epic means death, but they're also raised in a somewhat stable, Epic-run society. Sam's lived in a place where the Epics are less like sociopathic warlords and more like forces of nature, striking swiftly, devastatingly, and with no prejudice for whom they hit. I think Sam's chronic disrespect is a way of coping with that.

(He's a good dog. A bit hyperactive sometimes, and he barks at everything that moves, but he's a good dog. But somehow Sam-short-for-Samantha and Sam-short-for-Sam are two entirely different names in my mind. )

Funtimes' Army. Legions of pink Daleks and Rainbow Dash mechs clashing against dinosaurs and hordes of the undead.

...

Can we hurry up and get that war started?

[Voidus]

Well Funtimes does have an excuse to be pretty mad at LW right now...

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

I think the randomness of the Museum Epics may have assisted in developing Sam's snarkiness as opposed to Nathan's subservience. In Newcago every child's taught from an early age that beeing disrespectful to an Epic means death, but they're also raised in a somewhat stable, Epic-run society. Sam's lived in a place where the Epics are less like sociopathic warlords and more like forces of nature, striking swiftly, devastatingly, and with no prejudice for whom they hit. I think Sam's chronic disrespect is a way of coping with that.

(He's a good dog. A bit hyperactive sometimes, and he barks at everything that moves, but he's a good dog. But somehow Sam-short-for-Samantha and Sam-short-for-Sam are two entirely different names in my mind. )

Funtimes' Army. Legions of pink Daleks and Rainbow Dash mechs clashing against dinosaurs and hordes of the undead.

...

Can we hurry up and get that war started?

 

That makes sense. The instability of Oregon seems like it would lead a young girl to strike back at her environment in the only way she could (snark and insults). You can't fight against someone who's going to kill anyone in their path; all you can really do is get out of their path. Insulting them behind their back would be one of the better ways to stay sane, to feel somewhat in control of an uncontrollable situation. Newcago, on the other hand, wasn't a nice place for a regular person to live, but there was always the hope that if you played by the rules, you'd live another day. They were horrible, punitive, unjust rules that favored the ones who least needed to be favored (flagrantly disregarding multiple ethical theories that exhort providing for the least well-off in any society), but there was the chance that if they were followed, you would be left alone. 

 

(Weird. Neither of my dogs share names with anyone in this RP, though we do call Mollie "Mollywobbles" in the tradition of Molly Weasley from the Potterverse. I also call her my weeping angel because she has this habit of watching you whenever you have some tasty morsel, barely moving—until you turn your back. Then she'll move like lightning.) 

 

What happened in Oregon destroyed the state—but it was kind of awesome. Let's see….what other Doctor Who villains do we have? She couldn't make Silences or Slitheen or anything like that….but maybe she could make some version of the Wire? Maybe a TV that exerts some sort of electronic pulses that hold a person in place for some set period of time? If nothing else, I know she'd be able to make a Remote Control TV from Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.  

 

(Yes, this war must get underway soon. I want to see Lightwards take on a remote control TV while purple Toclophane take on his pterodactyls. ) 

[Mailliw73 he/him]

Are going to have an Empire Civil War? Are all the Epics going to take sides?

[Voidus]

Are going to have an Empire Civil War? Are all the Epics going to take sides?

PP is taking several sides

[Edgedancer he/him]

Are going to have an Empire Civil War? Are all the Epics going to take sides?

It´s inevitable really. Either that or Funtimes goes somewhere else after they are done with Portland. Then again I vote for CyberFunman.

 

Some of the comparisions you made between them also work interestingly with Nighthound. For example he sometimes uses mindless slaves but views them as completely disposable and leaves free will to those that stick around... to enjoy their suffering.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Dear Ray, 

 

In the spirit of Christmas, I got you a present. 

 

 

Just fill in Nighthound's information and you're good to go. 

 

 

I know there aren't really any courts to enforce it, so I've asked Prof and the other Reckoners to do it. 

[Voidus]

The High Court of Portland has formed to hear the matter of Ray vs. Nighthound, her honourable glitteryness the Doctor Funtimes presiding.

And then Nighthound died.

[Kobold King he/him]

The High Court of Portland has formed to hear the matter of Ray vs. Nighthound, her honourable glitteryness the Doctor Funtimes presiding.

And then Nighthound died.

 

"Mr. Jager, we regret to inform you that you have been sentenced to death. Even though the court only convened to discuss the restraining order matter, once the jury found out precisely who you were, the decision to execute you was unanimous. And it doesn't help that your defense attorney spent all of her time complaining about her day instead of preparing a legal defense."

[Edgedancer he/him]

Dear Ray, 

 

In the spirit of Christmas, I got you a present. 

 

 

Just fill in Nighthound's information and you're good to go. 

 

 

I know there aren't really any courts to enforce it, so I've asked Prof and the other Reckoners to do it. 

That´s the nicest present anyone ever gave her. Actually, if they were ever in the same region as him Nighthound would probably be pretty high on the Reckoners hit-list.

 

"Mr. Jager, we regret to inform you that you have been sentenced to death. Even though the court only convened to discuss the restraining order matter, once the jury found out precisely who you were, the decision to execute you was unanimous. And it doesn't help that your defense attorney spent all of her time complaining about her day instead of preparing a legal defense."

"And by regret we mean that we couldn´t organize a grand enough celebration in the hurry."

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

That´s the nicest present anyone ever gave her. Actually, if they were ever in the same region as him Nighthound would probably be pretty high on the Reckoners hit-list.

 

"And by regret we mean that we couldn´t organize a grand enough celebration in the hurry."

 

I'm sure he would. He hasn't just committed atrocities; he's become so depraved that he is a walking atrocity. Taking him out would be a public service. 

 

"Please wait here while Ray decides how best to carry out your sentence. Forgive her; she's finding it a bit difficult to decide between a slow and painful method that risks your escape, and a quick and painful method that unfortunately deprives you of the chance to experience firsthand all the bad karma you have accumulated." 

[Voidus]

I'm sure he would. He hasn't just committed atrocities; he's become so depraved that he is a walking atrocity. Taking him out would be a public service. 

 

"Please wait here while Ray decides how best to carry out your sentence. Forgive her; she's finding it a bit difficult to decide between a slow and painful method that risks your escape, and a quick and painful method that unfortunately deprives you of the chance to experience firsthand all the bad karma you have accumulated." 

Thus concludes the first 2 of your sentenced 6.8 billion consecutive death sentences.

[Kobold King he/him]

Thus concludes the first 2 of your sentenced 6.8 billion consecutive death sentences.

 

"You wouldn't believe the number of organizations that have been lobbying for your death. The National Organization for Women's Rights, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals... huh. Even the Citizens Against the Death Penalty. Go figure."

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

"You wouldn't believe the number of organizations that have been lobbying for your death. The National Organization for Women's Rights, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals... huh. Even the Citizens Against the Death Penalty. Go figure."

 

"Amnesty International? Seriously? What did they….oh, here's what they said: 'Nighthound's continued existence endangers all innocent and reformed persons currently on death row. So long as Nighthound lives, they are marginally safer in prison, and there is no way we're going to release perfectly decent prisoners into a world like that. Kill Nighthound so we can lobby for their release with a clean conscience.'"

[Edgedancer he/him]

"Amnesty International? Seriously? What did they….oh, here's what they said: 'Nighthound's continued existence endangers all innocent and reformed persons currently on death row. So long as Nighthound lives, they are marginally safer in prison, and there is no way we're going to release perfectly decent prisoners into a world like that. Kill Nighthound so we can lobby for their release with a clean conscience.'"

"Apparently the only group that considered not wanting to execute you on the spot wondered how much science could progress using you in unethical experiments infecting you with deathly deseaces and the like. They quickly decided that it wouldn´t be worth it."

 

On another note, I was wondering how Voidgaze´s neighborhood would react to her.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

"Apparently the only group that considered not wanting to execute you on the spot wondered how much science could progress using you in unethical experiments infecting you with deathly deseaces and the like. They quickly decided that it wouldn´t be worth it."

 

On another note, I was wondering how Voidgaze´s neighborhood would react to her.

 

"So, on the upside, at least your body won't be donated to science. What's that? Oh, right. Never mind. Your body will totally be donated to science so the Reckoners can sell your blood on the black market." 

 

I'd imagine they make up all sorts of stories about her:

"I hear she only comes out once every full moon to stock up on food." 

"What does she eat?" 

"Not people. Yet. Mostly waffles….but no one knows what she puts on those waffles." 

[Kobold King he/him]

"Amnesty International? Seriously? What did they….oh, here's what they said: 'Nighthound's continued existence endangers all innocent and reformed persons currently on death row. So long as Nighthound lives, they are marginally safer in prison, and there is no way we're going to release perfectly decent prisoners into a world like that. Kill Nighthound so we can lobby for their release with a clean conscience.'"

"This just keeps getting more and more interesting. Let's see what the Ku Klux Klan has to say about you... huh. Well look at that, Mr. Jager, you caused the KKK to disband. Apparently your existence singlehandedly undermined a century's worth of racial purity dogma. Good for you, Mr. Jager."

[Edgedancer he/him]

"So, on the upside, at least your body won't be donated to science. What's that? Oh, right. Never mind. Your body will totally be donated to science so the Reckoners can sell your blood on the black market." 

 

I'd imagine they make up all sorts of stories about her:

"I hear she only comes out once every full moon to stock up on food." 

"What does she eat?" 

"Not people. Yet. Mostly waffles….but no one knows what she puts on those waffles." 

I shudder at the thought that someone might missuse his body to create a mind controling device or even worse said device has a malufunction and allows Nighthound to return as some kind of Epic ghost monster. *shudders*

 

Probably something like that. yeah. Although the idea of a Voidgaze fanclub is kind of funny. Even having their own (ponnified) plushies.