Jondesu he/him Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 "I see", said the blind man to his deaf dog, as he peed into the wind. "It's all coming back to me." "I see", said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw. jW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delightful Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 this is what i want to see here. BAD jokes See this crem. It's a GOOD joke. A dyslexic man walks into a rba bra There I fixed it for you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sovereign Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? Irrelephant 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThirdGen Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 What do you call an elephant that does matter? Senator. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Honor Spren she/her Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 Okay. I can do bad jokes. I can do the worst jokes you've ever seen. Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He sipped his coffee, before it was cool. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormgate he/him Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 I was in a a job interview and the guy said, "How good are you at using PowerPoint?" "I Excel at it," I said. "Was that a Microsoft Office pun?" I was all like, "Word" 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattig89ch he/him Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 Some geeky jokes for you -Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there’s Google. -Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product -My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormgate he/him Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 People: obviously, computers are not yet sentient Programmers: then why does this code not work for no reason whatsoever? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattig89ch he/him Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 how about a knock knock joke? Knock Knock Who's there Little Old Lady Little Old Lady Who? I didn't know you could yodel! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird she/her Posted March 29, 2016 Report Share Posted March 29, 2016 Ok, I've got some. How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door, put the elephant in, and shut the door. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door, take the elephant out, put in the giraffe, and close the door. All the animals had a meeting. Who was missing? The giraffe, because he was stuck in the fridge. You are on an expedition in the jungle and come to a river infamous for its man-eating crocodiles. You need to get across, but there is no bridge, you're alone, and you have no tools. How do you get across? Just swim across. The crocodiles are all at the meeting with the other animals. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattig89ch he/him Posted April 1, 2016 Report Share Posted April 1, 2016 Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered six offender What did the policeman say to his belly button? Your under a vest! Whats red, and bad for your teeth? A brick My grandand has the heart of a lion And a lifetime ban from the zoo What did one hat say to the other You stay here, I'll go on ahead 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird she/her Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, it just waved. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haelbarde he/him Posted April 8, 2016 Report Share Posted April 8, 2016 What's the real value of a particular iDevice? 0 - the value is entirely imaginary. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattig89ch he/him Posted April 8, 2016 Report Share Posted April 8, 2016 Just saw this in I can haz cheeseburger: http://cheezburger.com/8763577856/throw-yourself-off-that-imaginary-cliff-too-after-telling-this-joke a sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff Bah-Dumm-Tss 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird she/her Posted April 14, 2016 Report Share Posted April 14, 2016 Click for punnery. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Assassin in Burgundy he/him Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 (edited) A collection of my favorites What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick. What's yellow and can't swim? A school bus. Did you here about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa. I took a test on Soothing. It was a Breeze. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A-flat minor. Dear algebra, stop telling me to find your X. She's not coming back. Knock knock. Who's there? German border patrol. German borde-DONT ASK QVESTIONS!! What's brown and sticky? A stick. I am a STICK Sorry if any were repeated. My bad. Edited August 10, 2016 by Assassin in Burgundy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renoux she/her Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 What do you call it when a boy carbon asks a girl carbon out to dinner? Spoiler Carbon dating. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 What is Beethoven's favourite fruit? The BA-NA-NA-NA-NA!!!! Why is music like a heart? They both have a beat Why the boy chicken cross the road To get to the chick Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? They kept saying "BACH BACH BACH BACH BACH!" 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 (edited) On 10 February 2016 at 11:29 PM, Mestiv said: Image: Hide contents Your signature slightly scares me hahaha. How did you do that? Edited August 10, 2016 by Queen Elsa Steelheart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mestiv he/him Posted August 11, 2016 Report Share Posted August 11, 2016 6 hours ago, Queen Elsa Steelheart said: Your signature slightly scares me hahaha. How did you do that? Everything is explained here: 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird she/her Posted August 11, 2016 Report Share Posted August 11, 2016 So this just happened on my Facebook, although I don't know if it really qualifies as a bad joke since all Star Wars jokes are innately fabulous... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her Posted August 11, 2016 Report Share Posted August 11, 2016 3 hours ago, Mestiv said: Everything is explained here: Thanks! It's pretty cool! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renoux she/her Posted August 11, 2016 Report Share Posted August 11, 2016 Ok, so what do you call a criminal in an elevator? Spoiler Con-descending So bad it's good 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverblade5 he/him Posted August 12, 2016 Report Share Posted August 12, 2016 My cruise was a whale of a time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Honor Spren she/her Posted August 12, 2016 Report Share Posted August 12, 2016 What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? Spoiler I don't know and I don't care. A farmer counted 196 cows in his field, but when he rounded them up he had 200 The Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." Spoiler But John came fifth and received a toaster oven. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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