Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[That1Cellist he/him]

20 minutes ago, The Aspiring Archivist said:

I feel pretty awful. I'm sick and home, but I have a final essay due tomorrow. I enjoy actually being in my classes, and my interactions with other people are usually fine. It's just when I'm home, everything is awful. I can never get anything done, I'm pretty sure there is something wrong with my brain but I feel like I can't tell anyone. I don't feel like I can talk to my counselor either because maybe I'm wrong and I don't want him to tell my parents or anything. I hold myself to high standards with school, but I know that I'm going to lose my footing soon enough. When I do, I'm probably just going to get even more stressed and depressed. I don't talk to my friends enough, and I don't feel like they care. Sometimes I just want to stop having to do life.

I know what it's like to not want to have a life anymore. I don't particularly want to either. It is not going to be kind to me.

You know, Haly once said to me that life is a balancing act. We all have to help each other stay up. It's honestly very wise for someone I'm 99% certain is younger than me.

Sometimes you will feel like people don't care. I do all the time. Sometimes you will feel that everything is falling. Nobody else can see it, but you're slipping. You feel it in every breath you take, every step that you move with. You feel it as you lay in your bed trying to fall asleep, wanting sleep to come so that you can pretend, for a few precious hours, that you aren't real and don't exist. I know these feelings. They accompany me almost daily now.

Sometimes, people will tell you that we live hard lives to enjoy the happy moments. I see how this could be true, but that doesn't really help when you just about want to die, does it? I don't know the answers. If I had them, I would gladly share them. So, instead, I want you to know that we are here for you, and in your in person life there are people who want the best for you too. If you start to wobble, even when falling feels inevitable, so much so that you almost feel that sense of vertigo. Some sense of falling. But those people will help steady you. We will help steady you.

*Hugs* Good luck out there, Mr. Archivist.

Edited February 7, 2023 by That1Cellist

[The Aspiring Archivist any]

10 minutes ago, The Wandering Wizard said:

Try taking that first step. Tell someone and if they don't listen, don't get discouraged, keep going until you find someone who will listen to you. It is incredibly hard, nearly impossible feeling to tell someone about your personal struggles, but when you do and they listen. It will feel incredible to have that weight off and someone who can help you get help.

You are an incredible person with a bright future ahead of you and I'm glad that I've gotten to know you through here and your writing. You may not believe me and that is just fine. But I know that there is a savior out there who loves you and I have felt his love for me and I want to pass it on. You are loved and it is okay to not feel okay.

*Hugs*

Thank you.

It just makes makes me incredibly anxious to try and tell someone. I feel like I could be wrong, or that it's not worth their time. I'm super non-confrontational for a few reasons, so it's really hard for me. I can't even convince myself to start doing my homework most of the time, so I don't know how I'm going to convince myself to be open and honest about stuff like this to my family.

It feels sort of like my brain is broken.

13 minutes ago, That1Cellist said:

I know what it's like to not want to have a life anymore. I don't particularly want to either. It is not going to be kind to me.

You know, Haly once said to me that life is a balancing act. We all have to help each other stay up. It's honestly very wise for someone I'm 99% certain is younger than me.

Sometimes you will feel like people don't care. I do all the time. Sometimes you will feel that everything is falling. Nobody else can see it, but you're slipping. You feel it in every breath you take, every step that you move with. You feel it as you lay in your bed trying to fall asleep, wanting sleep to come so that you can pretend, for a few precious hours, that you aren't real and don't exist. I know these feelings. They accompany me almost daily now.

Sometimes, people will tell you that we live hard lives to enjoy the happy moments. I see how this could be true, but that doesn't really help when you just about want to die, doesn't it? I don't know the answers. If I had them, I would gladly share them. So, instead, I want you to know that we are here for you, and in your in person life there are people who want the best for you too. If you start to wobble, even when falling feels inevitable, so much so that you almost feel that sense of vertigo. Some sense of falling. But those people will help steady you. We will help steady you.

*Hugs* Good luck out there, Mr. Archivist.

Thanks, Cellist. I'm sorry that you are struggling with similar things. It's really hard. I do very much appreciate this.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Just now, The Aspiring Archivist said:

It just makes makes me incredibly anxious to try and tell someone. I feel like I could be wrong, or that it's not worth their time. I'm super non-confrontational for a few reasons, so it's really hard for me. I can't even convince myself to start doing my homework most of the time, so I don't know how I'm going to convince myself to be open and honest about stuff like this to my family.

 

Yeah, that stuff is always hard and the anxiety will probably be there until you try it. I didn't particularly want to tell my family about my suicidal thoughts, but it went better than I thought. It really helped me to get out of the slump that I was feeling. Well I decided to go to the activity at the lake and being around people helped. But before hand I talked to my dad and mom about my thoughts and they understood. This might not work for you since I don't know what your parents are like. I know that mine are rarer that what I've seen/heard about other people's parents. That they refuse to see the mental health needs of their children and won't help them get help.

[The Aspiring Archivist any]

1 minute ago, The Wandering Wizard said:

Yeah, that stuff is always hard and the anxiety will probably be there until you try it. I didn't particularly want to tell my family about my suicidal thoughts, but it went better than I thought. It really helped me to get out of the slump that I was feeling. Well I decided to go to the activity at the lake and being around people helped. But before hand I talked to my dad and mom about my thoughts and they understood. This might not work for you since I don't know what your parents are like. I know that mine are rarer that what I've seen/heard about other people's parents. That they refuse to see the mental health needs of their children and won't help them get help.

My parents really care about mental health. There have been several occasions where they've asked me about it, and they've spent a lot of time helping my brother with is. I think it comes from the fact that my whole family deals with mental health issues and various neurodivergences. But I'm worried I'm wrong about what I'm feeling, and that it would just be a hassle to bring it up.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

5 minutes ago, The Aspiring Archivist said:

My parents really care about mental health. There have been several occasions where they've asked me about it, and they've spent a lot of time helping my brother with is. I think it comes from the fact that my whole family deals with mental health issues and various neurodivergences. But I'm worried I'm wrong about what I'm feeling, and that it would just be a hassle to bring it up.

If you are wrong, what happens? Why do you fear telling them?

[The Aspiring Archivist any]

5 minutes ago, The Wandering Wizard said:

If you are wrong, what happens? Why do you fear telling them?

I guess I'm worried I'll be wrong, and they'll overreact and waste time and energy on me.

[Wittles he/him]

1 hour ago, The Aspiring Archivist said:

I feel pretty awful. I'm sick and home, but I have a final essay due tomorrow. I enjoy actually being in my classes, and my interactions with other people are usually fine. It's just when I'm home, everything is awful. I can never get anything done, I'm pretty sure there is something wrong with my brain but I feel like I can't tell anyone. I don't feel like I can talk to my counselor either because maybe I'm wrong and I don't want him to tell my parents or anything. I hold myself to high standards with school, but I know that I'm going to lose my footing soon enough. When I do, I'm probably just going to get even more stressed and depressed. I don't talk to my friends enough, and I don't feel like they care. Sometimes I just want to stop having to do life.

1 hour ago, That1Cellist said:

I know what it's like to not want to have a life anymore. I don't particularly want to either. It is not going to be kind to me.

You know, Haly once said to me that life is a balancing act. We all have to help each other stay up. It's honestly very wise for someone I'm 99% certain is younger than me.

Sometimes you will feel like people don't care. I do all the time. Sometimes you will feel that everything is falling. Nobody else can see it, but you're slipping. You feel it in every breath you take, every step that you move with. You feel it as you lay in your bed trying to fall asleep, wanting sleep to come so that you can pretend, for a few precious hours, that you aren't real and don't exist. I know these feelings. They accompany me almost daily now.

Sometimes, people will tell you that we live hard lives to enjoy the happy moments. I see how this could be true, but that doesn't really help when you just about want to die, does it? I don't know the answers. If I had them, I would gladly share them. So, instead, I want you to know that we are here for you, and in your in person life there are people who want the best for you too. If you start to wobble, even when falling feels inevitable, so much so that you almost feel that sense of vertigo. Some sense of falling. But those people will help steady you. We will help steady you.

*Hugs* Good luck out there, Mr. Archivist.

34 minutes ago, The Wandering Wizard said:

Yeah, that stuff is always hard and the anxiety will probably be there until you try it. I didn't particularly want to tell my family about my suicidal thoughts, but it went better than I thought. It really helped me to get out of the slump that I was feeling. Well I decided to go to the activity at the lake and being around people helped. But before hand I talked to my dad and mom about my thoughts and they understood. This might not work for you since I don't know what your parents are like. I know that mine are rarer that what I've seen/heard about other people's parents. That they refuse to see the mental health needs of their children and won't help them get help.

wow. This describes what I've been feeling really well. 

I don't really know how to help in this situation, but here's a big group hug for all of ya' *Hugs*

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

9 hours ago, The Aspiring Archivist said:

I guess I'm worried I'll be wrong, and they'll overreact and waste time and energy on me.

Worried that they care about you? Because oftentimes that is why people overreact, they care about someone and don't want anything to happen to them.

[Ranryu she/her]

A girl I really looked up to passed away recently. Other people who knew her better are suffering a lot more right now, but it still hurts. This is the third person our school has lost in as many months. What kind of world do we live in, where death is so willingly embraced? Why is this allowed to happen?

I'm sad and angry and confused.

[Wittles he/him]

8 minutes ago, Ranryu said:

A girl I really looked up to passed away recently. Other people who knew her better are suffering a lot more right now, but it still hurts. This is the third person our school has lost in as many months. What kind of world do we live in, where death is so willingly embraced? Why is this allowed to happen?

I'm sad and angry and confused.

That just really sucks. Death can be hard to come to terms with. *hugs*

[InfiniteInsanity she/her]

14 minutes ago, Ranryu said:

A girl I really looked up to passed away recently. Other people who knew her better are suffering a lot more right now, but it still hurts. This is the third person our school has lost in as many months. What kind of world do we live in, where death is so willingly embraced? Why is this allowed to happen?

I'm sad and angry and confused.

I knew her too. I didn't know her too well. But this is so hard and rough. I'm sorry. 

[The Aspiring Archivist any]

2 hours ago, The Wandering Wizard said:

Worried that they care about you? Because oftentimes that is why people overreact, they care about someone and don't want anything to happen to them.

It sounds stupid when you put it that way...

24 minutes ago, Ranryu said:

A girl I really looked up to passed away recently. Other people who knew her better are suffering a lot more right now, but it still hurts. This is the third person our school has lost in as many months. What kind of world do we live in, where death is so willingly embraced? Why is this allowed to happen?

I'm sad and angry and confused.

I'm so sorry. Death is often difficult to acknowledge fully, or to talk about, or sometimes even think about. It is a very hard thing, filled with a lot of the hardest questions. It's okay to feel all of those things, in fact, it's pretty normal. Don't feel pressured to try to "move on," grief moves at it's own pace for each person and each situation. If you find that it's affecting you a lot, for a long time, try to talk to someone in your life about how you feel.

*hugs*

Edited February 7, 2023 by The Aspiring Archivist

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

46 minutes ago, The Aspiring Archivist said:

It sounds stupid when you put it that way...

1 hour ago, Ranryu said:

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. But please work up the courage to tell them what you are going through. It will help.

3 minutes ago, Ranryu said:

A girl I really looked up to passed away recently. Other people who knew her better are suffering a lot more right now, but it still hurts. This is the third person our school has lost in as many months. What kind of world do we live in, where death is so willingly embraced? Why is this allowed to happen?

I'm sad and angry and confused.

Death is always going to hurt. And it's accepted because it is seen as a way out. It is allowed to happen because people have the ability to do anything that they want, but they must accept the consequence of their actions. And it hurts when you know them, because their light is gone from the world. Take your time and if your thoughts start to trend downward, we are all here for you. *Hugs*

[That1Cellist he/him]

1 hour ago, Ranryu said:

A girl I really looked up to passed away recently. Other people who knew her better are suffering a lot more right now, but it still hurts. This is the third person our school has lost in as many months. What kind of world do we live in, where death is so willingly embraced? Why is this allowed to happen?

I'm sad and angry and confused.

*hugs*

We can't make decisions for other people. Nobody wants other people to kill themselves. (If they do they're awful humans) It isn't that it's allowed to happen, but that sometimes people feel like life isn't worth living, nobody cares about them, people would be better off without them, or all sorts of reasons. We don't embrace death. This sort of thing is only allowed to happen as far as we cannot chose for other people.

These things are very angering, saddening, and confusing. I am sorry that we don't have the answers.

We're here for you. We feel with you. Not for you or because of you, but with you.

[Hollow Graves]

I live in a home where I am the mistake, the disappointment, the child they wished was different. 

Everyday I feel more and more degraded. And I am shattering like class inside. I don't know what to do. My demons seem to be getting stronger and harder to fight.

I am having major depression and my parents just explain it away with their religious beliefs that I don't share.

My friends have horrible families and living conditions and them seeing me go through this was hurting them so I left. But it hurts so bad to leave but I always put other people before me.

And I am failing all of the classes in school and I just want to cry all of the time.

I don't know what I am doing and I honestly think I am losing it.

I could really use a hug and some advice right now.

[Wittles he/him]

7 minutes ago, Demon Thieves said:

I live in a home where I am the mistake, the disappointment, the child they wished was different. 

Everyday I feel more and more degraded. And I am shattering like class inside. I don't know what to do. My demons seem to be getting stronger and harder to fight.

I am having major depression and my parents just explain it away with their religious beliefs that I don't share.

My friends have horrible families and living conditions and them seeing me go through this was hurting them so I left. But it hurts so bad to leave but I always put other people before me.

And I am failing all of the classes in school and I just want to cry all of the time.

I don't know what I am doing and I honestly think I am losing it.

I could really use a hug and some advice right now.

It's at moments like these where it would be nice to be able to talk to people and help people in person. I don't really know what to say other than we're here for you. *hugs*

[That1Cellist he/him]

17 minutes ago, Demon Thieves said:

I live in a home where I am the mistake, the disappointment, the child they wished was different. 

Everyday I feel more and more degraded. And I am shattering like class inside. I don't know what to do. My demons seem to be getting stronger and harder to fight.

I am having major depression and my parents just explain it away with their religious beliefs that I don't share.

My friends have horrible families and living conditions and them seeing me go through this was hurting them so I left. But it hurts so bad to leave but I always put other people before me.

And I am failing all of the classes in school and I just want to cry all of the time.

I don't know what I am doing and I honestly think I am losing it.

I could really use a hug and some advice right now.

*hugs*

Life is not a kind place. This world is not a kind place.

Many of us don't know what we are doing. Many of us feel as if we are falling apart. Down, down, down we go. Breaking into pieces. Melting into puddles.

I do not understand well enough to give good advice, but know this: You have worth. Your problems and sadnesses do not define you. Your grades do not define who you are.

The world is harsh, and you live in it, as we all do. We're all here to help each other do the best we can. Good luck out there. We're here for you, as are others.

Edited February 7, 2023 by That1Cellist

[S. Stormy she/her]

27 minutes ago, Demon Thieves said:

I live in a home where I am the mistake, the disappointment, the child they wished was different. 

Everyday I feel more and more degraded. And I am shattering like class inside. I don't know what to do. My demons seem to be getting stronger and harder to fight.

I am having major depression and my parents just explain it away with their religious beliefs that I don't share.

My friends have horrible families and living conditions and them seeing me go through this was hurting them so I left. But it hurts so bad to leave but I always put other people before me.

And I am failing all of the classes in school and I just want to cry all of the time.

I don't know what I am doing and I honestly think I am losing it.

I could really use a hug and some advice right now.

 

18 minutes ago, Witless of Shinovar said:

It's at moments like these where it would be nice to be able to talk to people and help people in person. I don't really know what to say other than we're here for you. *hugs*

 

10 minutes ago, That1Cellist said:

*hugs*

Life is not a kind place. This world is not a kind place.

Many of us don't know what we are doing. Many of us feel as if we are falling apart. Down, down, down we go. Breaking into pieces. Melting into puddles.

I do not understand well enough to give good advice, but know this: You have worth. Your problems and sadnesses do not define you. Your grades do not define who you are.

The world is harsh, and you live in it, as we all do. We're all here to help each other do the best we can. Good luck out there. We're here for you, as are others.

You are loved. Seriously. You are, you are, you are.

I would miss each of you! So much. I would, and you're all awesome, no matter what you think. The world is scary... but there is love in it. And don't force yourself to be happy.

But remember, you are loved.

[The Aspiring Archivist any]

38 minutes ago, Demon Thieves said:

I live in a home where I am the mistake, the disappointment, the child they wished was different. 

Everyday I feel more and more degraded. And I am shattering like class inside. I don't know what to do. My demons seem to be getting stronger and harder to fight.

I am having major depression and my parents just explain it away with their religious beliefs that I don't share.

My friends have horrible families and living conditions and them seeing me go through this was hurting them so I left. But it hurts so bad to leave but I always put other people before me.

And I am failing all of the classes in school and I just want to cry all of the time.

I don't know what I am doing and I honestly think I am losing it.

I could really use a hug and some advice right now.

I wish I really had something to say, or good advice. The most I can give is to try and talk with a professional (like a school counselor or something) if you can. Try to remember that you are valuable and that we are here for you.

*hugs*

[Shining Silhouette he/him]

8 hours ago, Ranryu said:

A girl I really looked up to passed away recently. Other people who knew her better are suffering a lot more right now, but it still hurts. This is the third person our school has lost in as many months. What kind of world do we live in, where death is so willingly embraced? Why is this allowed to happen?

I'm sad and angry and confused.

That's heartbreaking. I'm really sorry for your loss.

 

We're here for you.

 

I just want to say that it's okay to feel sad and angry and confused and whatever else you're going through right now. It's okay to not be okay.

Your pain still matters, even if others might have a bit more.

 

Feel comfortable to take the time you need. Don't let others tell you at what pace you should be healing or how, because this is a deeply personal process.

I hope you can find peace.

[Kajsa she/her]

This one-way glass box I’m trapped in

It’s soundproof, too

Nobody can hear and nobody cares

I’ve always been the runt, but this is worse

Because I’m stuck with no way out, and nobody can hear me cry

I bet they don’t even miss me, don’t even notice I’m gone

They never listened anyway, and they’re saying things they wouldn’t if they knew I was here

Everyone wants to be popular until they are, 

Made glass because of the things you have to say to satisfy them, transparent as a window

And you drift through life without a purpose

In and out, what’s the purpose of anything anymore

I don’t even have an appetite–nothing tastes good when you don’t want to eat

My sister’s crying about a hole in her favorite sock

I have a hole in my soul–will you buy me a new one too?

One that looks just like the old one so nobody would know it was ever damaged

Not that they would care

Not that they see the cracks in my glass figure

Maybe if I wear enough makeup, if I tell enough lies, 

I’ll look pretty enough or be dirty enough to cover up my cracks so I’ll forget them

So I can pretend they never existed and I’d be able to escape this box

Without shattering myself on the way

People say you don't know what you have until you’ve lost it

Does that mean if I left, they’d finally care?

But then what would be the point if I wasn’t there for them to hear me, for them to listen

That’s why fantasy is fiction and fiction is fake

Nothing's ever perfect, and that's the problem

Maybe if I pretend the glass isn’t there, try to see through it, it’ll disappear

But what’s the point if you can see through glass anyway?

And wouldn’t that make my glass self disappear?

Somebody inject me with steroids so I can become strong enough to break out of this box

Someone help me out now before I do something reckless,

Something stupid.

Somebody help since they won't.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

1 minute ago, Kajsa said:

This one-way glass box I’m trapped in

It’s soundproof, too

Nobody can hear and nobody cares

I’ve always been the runt, but this is worse

Because I’m stuck with no way out, and nobody can hear me cry

I bet they don’t even miss me, don’t even notice I’m gone

They never listened anyway, and they’re saying things they wouldn’t if they knew I was here

Everyone wants to be popular until they are, 

Made glass because of the things you have to say to satisfy them, transparent as a window

And you drift through life without a purpose

In and out, what’s the purpose of anything anymore

I don’t even have an appetite–nothing tastes good when you don’t want to eat

My sister’s crying about a hole in her favorite sock

I have a hole in my soul–will you buy me a new one too?

One that looks just like the old one so nobody would know it was ever damaged

Not that they would care

Not that they see the cracks in my glass figure

Maybe if I wear enough makeup, if I tell enough lies, 

I’ll look pretty enough or be dirty enough to cover up my cracks so I’ll forget them

So I can pretend they never existed and I’d be able to escape this box

Without shattering myself on the way

People say you don't know what you have until you’ve lost it

Does that mean if I left, they’d finally care?

But then what would be the point if I wasn’t there for them to hear me, for them to listen

That’s why fantasy is fiction and fiction is fake

Nothing's ever perfect, and that's the problem

Maybe if I pretend the glass isn’t there, try to see through it, it’ll disappear

But what’s the point if you can see through glass anyway?

And wouldn’t that make my glass self disappear?

Somebody inject me with steroids so I can become strong enough to break out of this box

Someone help me out now before I do something reckless,

Something stupid.

Somebody help since they won't.

You are loved. This is true and nothing can change it. Your family may not care about you, or pay attention to you. And it's hard when only the people online seem to know and care about you. Other people have a hard time breaking out of their routine, out of their ruts of their daily life. They are in their own pivot divots and they can't turn their head to see their friend struggling to pull the tassles with them. They can not turn back, they will not crap what's the term uh, Bail! They won't bail you out and it feels like those that should be supporting and bumping you forward are not. There are those wonderful, proverbial, bus leaders who are searching for you and are going to help you get out of the sea of corn. To save you from drowning in it. They are those who may not know you, but see you feeling way down and come to uplift you. There are miracles waiting for you in your life. His hand is always outstretched towards you and so are all of ours. We are here for you.

[Kajsa she/her]

5 minutes ago, The Wandering Wizard said:

You are loved. This is true and nothing can change it. Your family may not care about you, or pay attention to you. And it's hard when only the people online seem to know and care about you. Other people have a hard time breaking out of their routine, out of their ruts of their daily life. They are in their own pivot divots and they can't turn their head to see their friend struggling to pull the tassles with them. They can not turn back, they will not crap what's the term uh, Bail! They won't bail you out and it feels like those that should be supporting and bumping you forward are not. There are those wonderful, proverbial, bus leaders who are searching for you and are going to help you get out of the sea of corn. To save you from drowning in it. They are those who may not know you, but see you feeling way down and come to uplift you. There are miracles waiting for you in your life. His hand is always outstretched towards you and so are all of ours. We are here for you.

I really appreciate this, especially with the detasseling terms since it's so relatable. Thank you. I wish those little words meant more and I could say more, but for now all I've got is thank you.

Edited February 8, 2023 by Kajsa :)

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

1 minute ago, Kajsa said:

I really appreciate this, especially with the detasseling terms since it's so relatable. Thank you.

You're welcome, it just flowed into detasseling terms and I just followed the prompting. 

Parables help get ideas across better I think.

[The Aspiring Archivist any]

29 minutes ago, Kajsa said:

This one-way glass box I’m trapped in

It’s soundproof, too

Nobody can hear and nobody cares

I’ve always been the runt, but this is worse

Because I’m stuck with no way out, and nobody can hear me cry

I bet they don’t even miss me, don’t even notice I’m gone

They never listened anyway, and they’re saying things they wouldn’t if they knew I was here

Everyone wants to be popular until they are, 

Made glass because of the things you have to say to satisfy them, transparent as a window

And you drift through life without a purpose

In and out, what’s the purpose of anything anymore

I don’t even have an appetite–nothing tastes good when you don’t want to eat

My sister’s crying about a hole in her favorite sock

I have a hole in my soul–will you buy me a new one too?

One that looks just like the old one so nobody would know it was ever damaged

Not that they would care

Not that they see the cracks in my glass figure

Maybe if I wear enough makeup, if I tell enough lies, 

I’ll look pretty enough or be dirty enough to cover up my cracks so I’ll forget them

So I can pretend they never existed and I’d be able to escape this box

Without shattering myself on the way

People say you don't know what you have until you’ve lost it

Does that mean if I left, they’d finally care?

But then what would be the point if I wasn’t there for them to hear me, for them to listen

That’s why fantasy is fiction and fiction is fake

Nothing's ever perfect, and that's the problem

Maybe if I pretend the glass isn’t there, try to see through it, it’ll disappear

But what’s the point if you can see through glass anyway?

And wouldn’t that make my glass self disappear?

Somebody inject me with steroids so I can become strong enough to break out of this box

Someone help me out now before I do something reckless,

Something stupid.

Somebody help since they won't.

*hugs*

I'm so sorry that you are struggling with this. I wish I knew what that sort of thing was like, but I don't. I can't imagine feeling like no one in your family cares. I will say that I care about you, and we all do. And there are certainly other people out there who will listen and care. And I know that that's not the same, and I'm sorry I can't do much better. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. My PMs are always open if you need to rant or just talk to someone.

If it means anything, I wrote another poem today. You've seemed to like those.