Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[The Aspiring Archivist any]

3 hours ago, InfiniteInsanity said:

I'm so sick of being sad. I get that's understandable and it's okay, but at the same time my friends are struggling and need my help. I don't feel worthy to help them when I can't go thirty minutes before I feel like crying. I haven't been able to get through seminary without crying. I can't make it through my show choir show without crying. The ballad is about remembering people and it's too much. And yet at the same time the directors are all "Facials! You're supposed to be comforting and reflective." I can't do that right now. Half of the people in that group can't. Not with that song. My mom had to get me waterproof mascara for the competitions. Last night at youth activities I was okay, I was fine, I was having fun, and then I just wasn't. And my siblings wouldn't leave me alone. I can't tell them that someone I knew died because they'll ask how and they won't understand that. I'm doing the most random stuff trying to keep myself from thinking about things. To keep myself from crying and it's not working. And I'm getting really tired of the question "Are you okay?" And I know that I'm not showing a whole lot of emotion or doing much of anything so that's really the only way to know. But the answer is no. The answer is so obviously no. This is the least I've smiled in forever. Can't people see or tell? Do they really have to keep asking me that? 

Being in grief is not just a feeling.

More like a state, of mind or of being.

It's hard to explain why the hurt is so bad,

and why when you're grieving you're more than just sad.

 

Sometimes it feels like each thing in each moment

Is missing some sort of essential component.

The thing that is lost that throws you asunder,

Like waves in a pond where a stone just went under.

 

As much as it hurts, time can start to heal.

The time might be long, and you might never feel

Quite right when you recognize where they had been.

Don't feel like you need to start lifting your chin.

 

*hugs*

 

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Bookwyrm's done the last two, so now it's my turn.

Anways Cellist could use all the good feelings, positive words, and confidence that you can send him.

[That1Cellist he/him]

13 minutes ago, The Wandering Wizard said:

Bookwyrm's done the last two, so now it's my turn.

Anways Cellist could use all the good feelings, positive words, and confidence that you can send him.

Curse you Mr. Wizard. Please don't bother the people with my stupidity.

I am going to do better.

[The Aspiring Archivist any]

1 hour ago, That1Cellist said:

Curse you Mr. Wizard. Please don't bother the people with my stupidity.

I am going to do better.

Haha I'm doing it anyway.

You're a cool person and a great roleplayer. You also seem genuinely caring and kind. You appear to be struggling a lot with self-worth, but I assure you, you matter a lot. You aren't stupid or annoying for sharing your problems. In fact, sharing when you feel down is a very smart thing to do, and no one should think less of you for it.

Take care of yourself. *hugs*

[Elf They/them]

hmm okay 

im feeling really down right now 

idk today's just been weird and i feel like i didnt really get to do anything that i wanted to do because of other people's interference. 

also my younger brother got sick and im pretty sure it was because of me cause i was kinda taking him in my arms and like twirling him round and round (he really likes when i do this) and immediately he complained of stomach pains. so im feeling bad about that 

And one more thing. Today my parents took my brother to the Opera House to see a play but apparently did not realise that going to an opera house and seeing a live production is something that i would LOVE. they didnt even ask me. Maye its kinda petty but ive been wanting to go to the Royal Opera House for ages and they knew it. And they still forgot about me

Also you know, my family has a lot of drama that i dont really care about, but i feel like im being made a part of it anyway. i just want to read and study and listen to music and not listen to my parents problems or my sister talking trash about my parents. like sure, i kind of share her sentiments but i just dont wanna get so involved you know? 

And with my sister its like her mood changes very quickly. and i mean very quickly. Like she could be laughing manically, and within 5 minutes she'd be near tears for absolutely no reason. its kinda exhausting to keep up with that. 

i wanted to revise economics, practice for my art re-prelim, and finish reading The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, and re-watch Kill Your Darlings but I didnt get to do any of that. 

Instead I had to listen to other people's drama 

Its just i dont really care about what problems my parents are going through or how they feel about each other or i dont wanna listen to my mom complaining about my dad. I dont want to spend hours listening to my sister's trash talk  when i could be doing something much better. Does that make me a bad person?

Edited February 12, 2023 by Elf

[Morningtide she/her]

*hugs* it sucks when other people commandeer your time for their own purposes. I don't really know what to say other than I hope it gets better and I'm sure you'll do great at whatever you're working on :).

[The Aspiring Archivist any]

2 hours ago, Elf said:

hmm okay 

im feeling really down right now 

idk today's just been weird and i feel like i didnt really get to do anything that i wanted to do because of other people's interference. 

also my younger brother got sick and im pretty sure it was because of me cause i was kinda taking him in my arms and like twirling him round and round (he really likes when i do this) and immediately he complained of stomach pains. so im feeling bad about that 

And one more thing. Today my parents took my brother to the Opera House to see a play but apparently did not realise that going to an opera house and seeing a live production is something that i would LOVE. they didnt even ask me. Maye its kinda petty but ive been wanting to go to the Royal Opera House for ages and they knew it. And they still forgot about me

Also you know, my family has a lot of drama that i dont really care about, but i feel like im being made a part of it anyway. i just want to read and study and listen to music and not listen to my parents problems or my sister talking trash about my parents. like sure, i kind of share her sentiments but i just dont wanna get so involved you know? 

And with my sister its like her mood changes very quickly. and i mean very quickly. Like she could be laughing manically, and within 5 minutes she'd be near tears for absolutely no reason. its kinda exhausting to keep up with that. 

i wanted to revise economics, practice for my art re-prelim, and finish reading The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, and re-watch Kill Your Darlings but I didnt get to do any of that. 

Instead I had to listen to other people's drama 

Its just i dont really care about what problems my parents are going through or how they feel about each other or i dont wanna listen to my mom complaining about my dad. I dont want to spend hours listening to my sister's trash talk  when i could be doing something much better. Does that make me a bad person?

*hugs* Life can be pretty crazy and exhausting, and it's understandable that you feel this way, and it does not make you a bad person. It sucks to feel like you're being ignored, and it sucks to deal with arguments all the time that you don't want any involvement in. It sounds like your family has a lot of conflict. If you haven't already, I would try opening up about how it's affecting you during a less heated time, and hopefully you can all make an effort to improve. If not, I hope you can find some space and start to feel better soon.

[That1Cellist he/him]

I know I was just in here, but can I get some hugs before my life becomes permanently even worse than I think it is now?

Spoiler

I am such an idiot. Why do I think my life is bad? Stupid stupid stupid.

I also think I may have killed my emotions. Finally. Finally. Finally.

[Quivil she/her]

1 minute ago, That1Cellist said:

I know I was just in here, but can I get some hugs before my life becomes permanently even worse than I think it is now?

  Hide contents

I am such an idiot. Why do I think my life is bad? Stupid stupid stupid.

I also think I may have killed my emotions. Finally. Finally. Finally.

*gives all the hugs*

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

1 minute ago, That1Cellist said:

I know I was just in here, but can I get some hugs before my life becomes permanently even worse than I think it is now?

  Reveal hidden contents

I am such an idiot. Why do I think my life is bad? Stupid stupid stupid.

I also think I may have killed my emotions. Finally. Finally. Finally.

Yes, you can *hugs*

You are an incredible person and you spread light to those around you, even though you can't see it. 

[InfiniteInsanity she/her]

1 minute ago, That1Cellist said:

I know I was just in here, but can I get some hugs before my life becomes permanently even worse than I think it is now?

  Reveal hidden contents

I am such an idiot. Why do I think my life is bad? Stupid stupid stupid.

I also think I may have killed my emotions. Finally. Finally. Finally.

Hey guess what? You are a very very memorable amazing awesome person. I can personally attest to that. Even when you think people don't remember or care they do, we do. You are amazing. And you are doing lots of amazing things.*hugs* 

[That1Cellist he/him]

Dang it, I apparently still do have emotions. The only thing they ever tell me is pain.

I want to turn them off I want to turn them off go away go away go away go away please.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

1 minute ago, That1Cellist said:

Dang it, I apparently still do have emotions. The only thing they ever tell me is pain.

I want to turn them off I want to turn them off go away go away go away go away please.

Having emotions is good...I'm gonna go find a quote or have you read the wheel of time. Because emotions are good and shutting them off and becoming hard, harder than adamantium isn't going to help.

[That1Cellist he/him]

1 minute ago, The Wandering Wizard said:

Having emotions is good...I'm gonna go find a quote or have you read the wheel of time. Because emotions are good and shutting them off and becoming hard, harder than adamantium isn't going to help.

Then I won't care though. I won't be in pain anymore.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

1 minute ago, That1Cellist said:

Then I won't care though. I won't be in pain anymore.

The thing is that the pain won't go away by being emotionless, you will still feel it.

Quote

“We live the same lives!” he yelled at them. “Over and over and over. We make the same mistakes. Kingdoms do the same stupid things. Rulers fail their people time and time again. Men continue to hurt and hate and die and kill!”

[]”What if I think it’s all meaningless?” he demanded with the loud voice of a king. “What if I don’t want it to keep turning? We live our lives by the blood of others! And those others become forgotten. What good is it if everything we know will fade? Great deeds or great tragedies, neither means anything! They will become legends, then those legends will be forgotten, then it will all start over again!”

 

The access key begins to glow, and the sky grows dark. Rand shouts, what if it’s better for this all to end, what if the Light is a lie, and this is all just a punishment? He bellows that none of this matters. He draws in more and more Power, even more than when he cleansed saidin, or when he had created this mountain. He thinks that Lews Therin had been right to kill himself, except he hadn’t gone far enough. He remembers Ilyena’s broken body.

He could feel the palace around him shaking from the earth’s own sobs. Or was that Dragonmount, throbbing from the immense power he had drawn into himself?

He could smell the air thick with blood and soot and death and pain. Or was that just the scent of a dying world, spread before him?

He thinks Lews Therin made a mistake in leaving the world alive after him; there is no escaping the Wheel without ending everything. Aloud, he demands to know why they have to do this again, why he must relive his failures again. He holds more Power than perhaps anyone ever has, and he prepares to use it to end everything.

He would end it. End it all and let men rest, finally, from their suffering. Stop them from having to live over and over again. Why? Why had the Creator done this to them? Why?

Why do we live again? Lews Therin asked, suddenly. His voice was crisp and distinct.

Yes, Rand said, pleading. Tell me. Why?

Maybe… Lews Therin said, shockingly lucid, not a hint of madness to him. He spoke softly, reverently. Why? Could it be… Maybe it’s so that we can have a second chance.

Rand hesitates, and remembers what Tam had said to him about the reason he does his duties being more important than anything else, and the question he had asked:

Why, Rand? Why do you go to battle? What is the point?

Why?

All was still. Even with the tempest, the winds, the crashes of thunder. All was still.

Why? Rand thought with wonder. Because each time we live, we get to love again.

That was the answer. It all swept over him, lives lived, mistakes made, love changing everything. He saw the entire world in his mind’s eye, lit by the glow in his hand. He remembered lives, hundreds of them, thousands of them, stretching to infinity. He remembered love, and peace, and joy, and hope.

I love this quote from the wheel of time, because of what it explains. Because each time after we suffer and fall down, we can get back up and try again. It is why we are given second chances and grace. The wheel of time deals with the idea that people are born back into the pattern after they die, but this can be adapted to life. Because we are given love and grace when we try to change. Becoming hard isn't going to remove the pain, becoming hard isn't the way to not feeling pain. Becoming soft is, because you will feel the pain, but you will know that it will help you to eventually be better. I kind of see trials and pain as a way of knowing what others are going through, because if I have had a similar experience then I can partially know what they are going through. I can't know all that everyone is going through, but I do know some of it and that helps. I can testify that there is a being out there who knows and loves you. And if you choose to turn to him, he will comfort you. 

[That1Cellist he/him]

4 minutes ago, The Wandering Wizard said:

The thing is that the pain won't go away by being emotionless, you will still feel it.

I love this quote from the wheel of time, because of what it explains. Because each time after we suffer and fall down, we can get back up and try again. It is why we are given second chances and grace. The wheel of time deals with the idea that people are born back into the pattern after they die, but this can be adapted to life. Because we are given love and grace when we try to change. Becoming hard isn't going to remove the pain, becoming hard isn't the way to not feeling pain. Becoming soft is, because you will feel the pain, but you will know that it will help you to eventually be better. I kind of see trials and pain as a way of knowing what others are going through, because if I have had a similar experience then I can partially know what they are going through. I can't know all that everyone is going through, but I do know some of it and that helps. I can testify that there is a being out there who knows and loves you. And if you choose to turn to him, he will comfort you. 

I don't want to try again. I don't want to try anymore. I don't want to keep going. What's the point?

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Just now, That1Cellist said:

I don't want to try again. I don't want to try anymore. I don't want to keep going. What's the point?

The point is to learn again. To love and to help others struggle through life, because it is painful and it is hard. But we are here to help one another and you may not see it, but you have a positive impact on many people's lives. 

Quite honestly though, I don't know how to help you, except to let you know that you are loved. No matter if you don't think you can be or are worthy of it. You are.

[solarcat she/her]

I know this isn't problem isn't insane, but does anyone have any advice on how to make good friends? I don't have friends at school which makes things a bit painful, although I did join an acedemic club recently and now know some people, but they're merely acquaintances :/. I don't know how to make best friends with anybody and it's been nagging me since middle school. 

[Wittles he/him]

18 minutes ago, solarcat93 said:

I know this isn't problem isn't insane, but does anyone have any advice on how to make good friends? I don't have friends at school which makes things a bit painful, although I did join an acedemic club recently and now know some people, but they're merely acquaintances :/. I don't know how to make best friends with anybody and it's been nagging me since middle school. 

I get that. In my experience, I've found that if you just find anyone you can just talk to, build up to being friends. If they're someone you enjoy being around, and they enjoy being around you, you'll just kind of naturally form really good friendships. At least in my experience

 

[InfiniteInsanity she/her]

22 minutes ago, solarcat93 said:

I know this isn't problem isn't insane, but does anyone have any advice on how to make good friends? I don't have friends at school which makes things a bit painful, although I did join an acedemic club recently and now know some people, but they're merely acquaintances :/. I don't know how to make best friends with anybody and it's been nagging me since middle school. 

Be nice to people. Try to talk to people. If you see someone having a hard time reach out even if you don't know them. Generally being nice and respectful has gotten me a decent amount of friends and also people just tend to like you in general.

[SymphonianBookworm she/her]

2 hours ago, solarcat93 said:

I know this isn't problem isn't insane, but does anyone have any advice on how to make good friends? I don't have friends at school which makes things a bit painful, although I did join an acedemic club recently and now know some people, but they're merely acquaintances :/. I don't know how to make best friends with anybody and it's been nagging me since middle school. 

Hang around people who you genuinely like. If they’re any good, I’m sure they’ll see how great you are. Sometimes it takes time and a lot of awkwardness, but I have faith you’ll get there!

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

2 hours ago, solarcat93 said:

I know this isn't problem isn't insane, but does anyone have any advice on how to make good friends? I don't have friends at school which makes things a bit painful, although I did join an acedemic club recently and now know some people, but they're merely acquaintances :/. I don't know how to make best friends with anybody and it's been nagging me since middle school. 

Not particularly because I don't have many at my school and most of mine are also mostly acquaintances

I've only found a real friend through luck and he was sitting alone, so I went and sat next to him. And we became quite fast friends. 

Your problem doesn't have to be insane to be worthy of attention and thought. I hope you can find some who can be truly great friends. *Hugs*

[Wittles he/him]

So I've been feeling kind of really depressed for a while. It kinda sucks, but it was manageable I guess. There was a lot of crazy crap going on in the last half of last year. My dad got back into his alcohol addiction, and my grandma died, so it was really hard emotionally, grades plummeted and all that jazz. It was really hard mentally, but my family got through it. My dad went to rehab, and he's better than I've seen him in years, so it should have been better now right? Unfortunately, about this time, I started to realize I'm not exactly straight, like I'd thought for most of my life. So that has been basically making me have kind of a struggle with religion. I really want to stay a part of the LDS church, but at the same time, I want to be able to accept that part of me. The stress of trying to figure it out has made it hard to sleep a lot. There's a lot of internal conflict that I've been trying to resolve. The scariest part is I've been feeling a little bit suicidal. Just a few nights ago I was legitimately contemplating actually going through with it. It terrified me. I could just really use some reassurance that people actually care that I exist.

Spoiler

Hehe, that got a bit longer than expected

 

Edited February 15, 2023 by Witless of Shinovar

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

4 minutes ago, Witless of Shinovar said:

So I've been feeling kind of really depressed for a while. It kinda sucks, but it was manageable I guess. There was a lot of crazy crap going on in the last half of last year. My dad got back into his alcohol addiction, and my grandma died, so it was really hard emotionally, grades plummeted and all that jazz. It was really hard mentally, but my family got through it. My dad went to rehab, and he's better than I've seen him in years, so it should have been better now right? Unfortunately, about this time, I started to realize I'm not exactly straight, like I'd thought for most of my life. So that has been basically making me have kind of a struggle with religion. I really want to stay a part of the LDS church, but at the same time, I want to be able to accept that part of me. The stress of trying to figure it out has made it hard to sleep a lot. There's a lot of internal conflict that I've been trying to resolve. The scariest part is I've been feeling a little bit suicidal. Just a few nights ago I was legitimately contemplating actually going through with it. It terrified me. I could just really use some reassurance that people actually care that I exist.

  Reveal hidden contents

Hehe, that got a bit longer than expected

 

You are an incredible person Witless. You do have a talent for art and I'm always excited to see more of your art and I can't wait to read some of your stories. We are always here for you and it is perfectly fine to have those feelings, I think that I might have some as well. Idk and it's complicated, but what is most important to always remember is that you are never alone. That is his tactics, remember that we love you and your are never alone, never.

[Immortal Platypus]

*hugs*

I care that you exist! You're so fun to do stuff with, and I LOVE YOUR ART! It's so cool! Please don't hate yourself if you are. I hope you figure out what you're going to do with the Church situation. If there's anything I can do you help, please let me know.

*more hugs*

You're amazing!!!