BlueWildRye he/him Posted June 8 Report Share Posted June 8 1 hour ago, Elf said: Well I'll be a legal adult soon myself, but it kind of saddens me that I've gone my entire childhood and teenage without having a a single adult who didn't let me down or take advantage of me or harm me. Your parents? Also *hugs* 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elf They/them Posted June 8 Report Share Posted June 8 4 minutes ago, BlueWildRye said: Your parents? Also *hugs* My parents were the worst of the lot. The first rule you learn in this house is that you never trust your parents because they will break you if they can. Thank you 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nathrangking he/him Posted June 8 Report Share Posted June 8 3 hours ago, Elf said: So I take art classes on the side because art is my hobby. My teacher is this lady who lives in my building and i thought she was this sweet, kind lady and I'd really started opening up to her. She'd started becoming a great source of comfort in my life. I thought, "finally, here is an adult I can trust, I can confide in" Today i find out she's serverely homophobic. How am I supposed to attend classes with her, trust her, smile at her, when I know she'd hate me for existing if she knew the truth? It was my fault trusting an adult, they always have some agenda or something wrong about them. Well I'll be a legal adult soon myself, but it kind of saddens me that I've gone my entire childhood and teenage without having a a single adult who didn't let me down or take advantage of me or harm me. *Hugs* 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just a Silvereye he/him Posted June 8 Report Share Posted June 8 4 hours ago, Elf said: So I take art classes on the side because art is my hobby. My teacher is this lady who lives in my building and i thought she was this sweet, kind lady and I'd really started opening up to her. She'd started becoming a great source of comfort in my life. I thought, "finally, here is an adult I can trust, I can confide in" Today i find out she's serverely homophobic. How am I supposed to attend classes with her, trust her, smile at her, when I know she'd hate me for existing if she knew the truth? It was my fault trusting an adult, they always have some agenda or something wrong about them. Well I'll be a legal adult soon myself, but it kind of saddens me that I've gone my entire childhood and teenage without having a a single adult who didn't let me down or take advantage of me or harm me. *hugs* That is so awful. I'm really sorry. Also, little reminder: you are not wrong, unnatural, immoral, or anything for being who you are. You are not wrong, unnatural, immoral, or anything for being who you are. It might be hard to remember that, especially if your entire environment screams you otherwise. But it's true. *another hug for good measure* 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Through The Living Glass She/Her Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 On 6/8/2024 at 11:22 AM, Elf said: So I take art classes on the side because art is my hobby. My teacher is this lady who lives in my building and i thought she was this sweet, kind lady and I'd really started opening up to her. She'd started becoming a great source of comfort in my life. I thought, "finally, here is an adult I can trust, I can confide in" Today i find out she's serverely homophobic. How am I supposed to attend classes with her, trust her, smile at her, when I know she'd hate me for existing if she knew the truth? It was my fault trusting an adult, they always have some agenda or something wrong about them. Well I'll be a legal adult soon myself, but it kind of saddens me that I've gone my entire childhood and teenage without having a a single adult who didn't let me down or take advantage of me or harm me. *late hugs* I'm so sorry... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just a Silvereye he/him Posted June 27 Report Share Posted June 27 I have received an email yesterday. While away in internship, one of my classmates suffered a fatal heart failure during a sports event. And. You know, I just can't admit that he's gone... forever. It seems both like forever and yesterday that we were sitting next to each other, retaking our exams and complaining about the school. I didn't know him enough, but he was such a kind and brilliant and cool guy and I wish I could tell him And I just want to curl up in the corner and cry BUT I CANT Because the world is not ever giving me any minute to breathe My workplace is in chaos for the foreseeable future and there's not much I can do about that except watch in disbelief My country is in chaos for the foreseeable future and there's not much I can do about that except watch in disbelief My brain is in chaos since who knows when, and for who knows how much longer, and I don't know what I can do about that And I still can't accept the fact that I'll come back to school next September and he won't be there 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Slowswift he/him Posted June 27 Report Share Posted June 27 40 minutes ago, Just a Silvereye said: I have received an email yesterday. While away in internship, one of my classmates suffered a fatal heart failure during a sports event. And. You know, I just can't admit that he's gone... forever. It seems both like forever and yesterday that we were sitting next to each other, retaking our exams and complaining about the school. I didn't know him enough, but he was such a kind and brilliant and cool guy and I wish I could tell him And I just want to curl up in the corner and cry BUT I CANT Because the world is not ever giving me any minute to breathe My workplace is in chaos for the foreseeable future and there's not much I can do about that except watch in disbelief My country is in chaos for the foreseeable future and there's not much I can do about that except watch in disbelief My brain is in chaos since who knows when, and for who knows how much longer, and I don't know what I can do about that And I still can't accept the fact that I'll come back to school next September and he won't be there That's awful. I'm so sorry. *hugs* 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strmblsd he/him. (You lost the game) Posted June 27 Report Share Posted June 27 1 hour ago, Just a Silvereye said: I have received an email yesterday. While away in internship, one of my classmates suffered a fatal heart failure during a sports event. And. You know, I just can't admit that he's gone... forever. It seems both like forever and yesterday that we were sitting next to each other, retaking our exams and complaining about the school. I didn't know him enough, but he was such a kind and brilliant and cool guy and I wish I could tell him And I just want to curl up in the corner and cry BUT I CANT Because the world is not ever giving me any minute to breathe My workplace is in chaos for the foreseeable future and there's not much I can do about that except watch in disbelief My country is in chaos for the foreseeable future and there's not much I can do about that except watch in disbelief My brain is in chaos since who knows when, and for who knows how much longer, and I don't know what I can do about that And I still can't accept the fact that I'll come back to school next September and he won't be there Wow.... I am so sorry.. *hugs very tight* 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Through The Living Glass She/Her Posted June 30 Report Share Posted June 30 On 6/27/2024 at 10:52 AM, Just a Silvereye said: I have received an email yesterday. While away in internship, one of my classmates suffered a fatal heart failure during a sports event. And. You know, I just can't admit that he's gone... forever. It seems both like forever and yesterday that we were sitting next to each other, retaking our exams and complaining about the school. I didn't know him enough, but he was such a kind and brilliant and cool guy and I wish I could tell him And I just want to curl up in the corner and cry BUT I CANT Because the world is not ever giving me any minute to breathe My workplace is in chaos for the foreseeable future and there's not much I can do about that except watch in disbelief My country is in chaos for the foreseeable future and there's not much I can do about that except watch in disbelief My brain is in chaos since who knows when, and for who knows how much longer, and I don't know what I can do about that And I still can't accept the fact that I'll come back to school next September and he won't be there I know I'm late but... *hugs* 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just a Silvereye he/him Posted July 1 Report Share Posted July 1 On 6/27/2024 at 7:37 PM, Slowswift said: That's awful. I'm so sorry. *hugs* On 6/27/2024 at 8:07 PM, strmblsd said: Wow.... I am so sorry.. *hugs very tight* 22 hours ago, Through The Living Glass said: I know I'm late but... *hugs* Thank you all so much *hugs back everyone* 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strmblsd he/him. (You lost the game) Posted July 7 Report Share Posted July 7 Ok this is gunna sound stupid... I overthink everything especially when I'm bored.. I'm always bored.. overthinking causes me to have stress and anxiety and those make me feel like I'm gonna throw up.. I feel absolutely horrible rn... I'm overthinking talking to a girl.. relationships with my friends.. everything 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Through The Living Glass She/Her Posted July 7 Report Share Posted July 7 18 minutes ago, strmblsd said: Ok this is gunna sound stupid... I overthink everything especially when I'm bored.. I'm always bored.. overthinking causes me to have stress and anxiety and those make me feel like I'm gonna throw up.. I feel absolutely horrible rn... I'm overthinking talking to a girl.. relationships with my friends.. everything *huge hugs* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueWildRye he/him Posted July 7 Report Share Posted July 7 49 minutes ago, strmblsd said: Ok this is gunna sound stupid... I overthink everything especially when I'm bored.. I'm always bored.. overthinking causes me to have stress and anxiety and those make me feel like I'm gonna throw up.. I feel absolutely horrible rn... I'm overthinking talking to a girl.. relationships with my friends.. everything I overthink so much that when it actually comes to making decisions I don't make any because I was too busy thinking! Feel ya mate *hugs* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just a Silvereye he/him Posted July 7 Report Share Posted July 7 12 hours ago, strmblsd said: Ok this is gunna sound stupid... I overthink everything especially when I'm bored.. I'm always bored.. overthinking causes me to have stress and anxiety and those make me feel like I'm gonna throw up.. I feel absolutely horrible rn... I'm overthinking talking to a girl.. relationships with my friends.. everything Yeah. I get that. *hugs* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vyzkel he/he Posted July 7 Report Share Posted July 7 13 hours ago, strmblsd said: Ok this is gunna sound stupid... I overthink everything especially when I'm bored.. I'm always bored.. overthinking causes me to have stress and anxiety and those make me feel like I'm gonna throw up.. I feel absolutely horrible rn... I'm overthinking talking to a girl.. relationships with my friends.. everything So understandable *hugs* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nathrangking he/him Posted July 8 Report Share Posted July 8 On 7/7/2024 at 6:14 AM, strmblsd said: Ok this is gunna sound stupid... I overthink everything especially when I'm bored.. I'm always bored.. overthinking causes me to have stress and anxiety and those make me feel like I'm gonna throw up.. I feel absolutely horrible rn... I'm overthinking talking to a girl.. relationships with my friends.. everything Hugs. As someone who is a chronic over thinker I get it. Remember this though, things are rarely as complex as they first seem. You may see the mass confusion of life and try to get ahead of it, but sometimes the best thing is to live alongside events. Instead of the confusion controlling you. You control it by taking it in stride. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Magi she/her Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 I'm so terrified of being a bad person. It feels like if I don't make everyone perfectly happy then something is deeply wrong with me. Subconsciously I feel like I'm not allowed to be human if I don't perfectly become what people want me to be. And I know that's not true. I've heard all the inspirational quotes that are supposed to make me think better of myself, but that doesn't make me feel any different. That doesn't stop me from being terrified of peoples disapproval with every fiber of my being. I wish I could be less sensitive, and I try really hard not to be, but at the end of the day I still feel awful. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nathrangking he/him Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 4 hours ago, J. Magi said: I'm so terrified of being a bad person. It feels like if I don't make everyone perfectly happy then something is deeply wrong with me. Subconsciously I feel like I'm not allowed to be human if I don't perfectly become what people want me to be. And I know that's not true. I've heard all the inspirational quotes that are supposed to make me think better of myself, but that doesn't make me feel any different. That doesn't stop me from being terrified of peoples disapproval with every fiber of my being. I wish I could be less sensitive, and I try really hard not to be, but at the end of the day I still feel awful. Hugs! I understand well the need to be perfect and be what others expect of you. I cannot pretend as if feeling this way can be hand waved away. It can't. That said you have the power to be what you want yourself to be. People might want things of you, but ultimately what matters is what you want from yourself. Sometimes what those close to us want us to be what we existentially speaking want to be. If you ever need to rant my Dm's are open. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vyzkel he/he Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 9 hours ago, J. Magi said: I'm so terrified of being a bad person. It feels like if I don't make everyone perfectly happy then something is deeply wrong with me. Subconsciously I feel like I'm not allowed to be human if I don't perfectly become what people want me to be. And I know that's not true. I've heard all the inspirational quotes that are supposed to make me think better of myself, but that doesn't make me feel any different. That doesn't stop me from being terrified of peoples disapproval with every fiber of my being. I wish I could be less sensitive, and I try really hard not to be, but at the end of the day I still feel awful. *hugs of understanding* 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Through The Living Glass She/Her Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 10 hours ago, J. Magi said: I'm so terrified of being a bad person. It feels like if I don't make everyone perfectly happy then something is deeply wrong with me. Subconsciously I feel like I'm not allowed to be human if I don't perfectly become what people want me to be. And I know that's not true. I've heard all the inspirational quotes that are supposed to make me think better of myself, but that doesn't make me feel any different. That doesn't stop me from being terrified of peoples disapproval with every fiber of my being. I wish I could be less sensitive, and I try really hard not to be, but at the end of the day I still feel awful. *hugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugs* 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Magi she/her Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 6 hours ago, Nathrangking said: Hugs! I understand well the need to be perfect and be what others expect of you. I cannot pretend as if feeling this way can be hand waved away. It can't. That said you have the power to be what you want yourself to be. People might want things of you, but ultimately what matters is what you want from yourself. Sometimes what those close to us want us to be what we existentially speaking want to be. If you ever need to rant my Dm's are open. Thanks, hearing that helped a little I think. 1 hour ago, Vyzkel Willbender said: *hugs of understanding* 29 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said: *hugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugs* Thank you 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edema Rue she/her Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 17 hours ago, J. Magi said: I'm so terrified of being a bad person. It feels like if I don't make everyone perfectly happy then something is deeply wrong with me. Subconsciously I feel like I'm not allowed to be human if I don't perfectly become what people want me to be. And I know that's not true. I've heard all the inspirational quotes that are supposed to make me think better of myself, but that doesn't make me feel any different. That doesn't stop me from being terrified of peoples disapproval with every fiber of my being. I wish I could be less sensitive, and I try really hard not to be, but at the end of the day I still feel awful. Hi. keep breathing, okay? One breath at a time. One way I’ve heard it described is that the purest fruit bruises most easily. It’s sweet, it’s juicy, it’s wonderful, but it’ll bruise at anything. I hear you, my friend. It hurts so much to care. It hurts so scudding much, especially when no one else seems to. Another thing I’ve heard is that it’s like a spectrum. The lower your lows, the higher your highs. They might never hurt like you hurt. But they’ll also never laugh like you laugh. I’ve been on both sides of it. Caring hurts. But not caring leaves you with a fuzzy mind. Unable to think, unable to feel, unable to live. It hurts, friend, and I’m sorry. Keep holding on, ok? I’m here if you ever want to talk, and I know so many people are too. Keep hoping. Keep loving. And love yourself, too. If the whole world is fighting you, don’t give yourself one more enemy, okay? We’re here for you. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Magi she/her Posted July 10 Report Share Posted July 10 22 minutes ago, Edema Rue said: Hi. keep breathing, okay? One breath at a time. One way I’ve heard it described is that the purest fruit bruises most easily. It’s sweet, it’s juicy, it’s wonderful, but it’ll bruise at anything. I hear you, my friend. It hurts so much to care. It hurts so scudding much, especially when no one else seems to. Another thing I’ve heard is that it’s like a spectrum. The lower your lows, the higher your highs. They might never hurt like you hurt. But they’ll also never laugh like you laugh. I’ve been on both sides of it. Caring hurts. But not caring leaves you with a fuzzy mind. Unable to think, unable to feel, unable to live. It hurts, friend, and I’m sorry. Keep holding on, ok? I’m here if you ever want to talk, and I know so many people are too. Keep hoping. Keep loving. And love yourself, too. If the whole world is fighting you, don’t give yourself one more enemy, okay? We’re here for you. Thank you, I think I really needed to hear that. I don't know what I'd do without the wonderful people here, you always help me feel like I'm not alone 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nathrangking he/him Posted July 13 Report Share Posted July 13 I don't know why I feel like placing my petty concerns on the shoulders of others me selfish, but I do. I have often come to this thread to vent and I must do so again. My nerves are shot not that there is anything to be done about it. My work contract which has been updated at 6 month intervals is up for the second time. In less than 2 weeks it expires and I have heard nothing about renewal. Worrying may be a useless endeavor, but I can't shake it. Thanks for listening and I apologize for burdening you with my concerns. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vyzkel he/he Posted July 13 Report Share Posted July 13 12 minutes ago, Nathrangking said: I don't know why I feel like placing my petty concerns on the shoulders of others me selfish, but I do. I have often come to this thread to vent and I must do so again. My nerves are shot not that there is anything to be done about it. My work contract which has been updated at 6 month intervals is up for the second time. In less than 2 weeks it expires and I have heard nothing about renewal. Worrying may be a useless endeavor, but I can't shake it. Thanks for listening and I apologize for burdening you with my concerns. No worries, that’s what this thread is for, *hugs*. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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