Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[Just a Silvereye he/him]

1 hour ago, Wittles of Shinovar said:

First of all, not completely insane. At best only a smidge insane. Second of all, it might be a problem, but the first step to fixing that problem is acknowledging that there is one, which can honestly be really hard, so you're already doing good. Just try to take it one day at a time. Try to go just one or two days less every week, or month and you'll have it under control. You've totally got this. *hugs*

Thanks a lot for the support. But I already tried moderation, and it went... more than poorly. I just can't moderate my usage, it's 6-12 hours a day or nothing for me.

And honestly, I'm starting to realize that the problem is running much deeper than video games. I haven't played in what, four days now? And right after stopping, I had a big burst of energy/motivation. But now it's been two days since I actually did anything. I just found other ways to kill time. I'm blocking YT and other stuff right now, but I fear it won't be enough. I'll probably latch on another pastime before the week is over.

I think what I was taking for a mostly external issue (video games) is actually more of an internal problem: I can't find motivation to do my work consistently. I do get some outbursts here and there, but it's still nowhere near as much as I need to stay afloat. I'm afraid I'm just stuck in a loop of finding something to spend all my time on to avoid doing work -> deleting access to that thing to try to work -> finding something else to spend time and still not work.

I know what I should do: force myself somehow to pull myself every morning and do my ******* ****** ******* work 

but I just don't know how

and meanwhile i feel myself falling back again i'm letting my teammates down again i still havent tried to find an internship im still terribly unprepared for the exams which are now dangerously close

 

Anyway, that was just me rambling about the current trainwreck that is my life. Sorry about that.

I might soon get suddenly very active for 2-3 days, then outright disappear. It will just mean that the Shard will have become the latest victim of the cycle described above. If it happens, don't expect to see me for some time.

Good night. Or whatever time of the day it is in your timezone.

[Wittles he/him]

4 minutes ago, Just a Silvereye said:

Thanks a lot for the support. But I already tried moderation, and it went... more than poorly. I just can't moderate my usage, it's 6-12 hours a day or nothing for me.

And honestly, I'm starting to realize that the problem is running much deeper than video games. I haven't played in what, four days now? And right after stopping, I had a big burst of energy/motivation. But now it's been two days since I actually did anything. I just found other ways to kill time. I'm blocking YT and other stuff right now, but I fear it won't be enough. I'll probably latch on another pastime before the week is over.

I think what I was taking for a mostly external issue (video games) is actually more of an internal problem: I can't find motivation to do my work consistently. I do get some outbursts here and there, but it's still nowhere near as much as I need to stay afloat. I'm afraid I'm just stuck in a loop of finding something to spend all my time on to avoid doing work -> deleting access to that thing to try to work -> finding something else to spend time and still not work.

I know what I should do: force myself somehow to pull myself every morning and do my ******* ****** ******* work 

but I just don't know how

and meanwhile i feel myself falling back again i'm letting my teammates down again i still havent tried to find an internship im still terribly unprepared for the exams which are now dangerously close

 

Anyway, that was just me rambling about the current trainwreck that is my life. Sorry about that.

I might soon get suddenly very active for 2-3 days, then outright disappear. It will just mean that the Shard will have become the latest victim of the cycle described above. If it happens, don't expect to see me for some time.

Good night. Or whatever time of the day it is in your timezone.

I'm sorry for just telling you to do what you've been trying to do. That's never helpful. 

*hugs* 

[Just a Silvereye he/him]

3 minutes ago, Wittles of Shinovar said:

I'm sorry for just telling you to do what you've been trying to do. That's never helpful. 

*hugs* 

Don't worry. Giving people support is never the wrong thing to do. 

Thanks a lot for all the hugs 

[TheRavenHasLanded he/him]

4 hours ago, Just a Silvereye said:

Thanks a lot for the support. But I already tried moderation, and it went... more than poorly. I just can't moderate my usage, it's 6-12 hours a day or nothing for me.

And honestly, I'm starting to realize that the problem is running much deeper than video games. I haven't played in what, four days now? And right after stopping, I had a big burst of energy/motivation. But now it's been two days since I actually did anything. I just found other ways to kill time. I'm blocking YT and other stuff right now, but I fear it won't be enough. I'll probably latch on another pastime before the week is over.

I think what I was taking for a mostly external issue (video games) is actually more of an internal problem: I can't find motivation to do my work consistently. I do get some outbursts here and there, but it's still nowhere near as much as I need to stay afloat. I'm afraid I'm just stuck in a loop of finding something to spend all my time on to avoid doing work -> deleting access to that thing to try to work -> finding something else to spend time and still not work.

I know what I should do: force myself somehow to pull myself every morning and do my ******* ****** ******* work 

but I just don't know how

and meanwhile i feel myself falling back again i'm letting my teammates down again i still havent tried to find an internship im still terribly unprepared for the exams which are now dangerously close

 

Anyway, that was just me rambling about the current trainwreck that is my life. Sorry about that.

I might soon get suddenly very active for 2-3 days, then outright disappear. It will just mean that the Shard will have become the latest victim of the cycle described above. If it happens, don't expect to see me for some time.

Good night. Or whatever time of the day it is in your timezone.

talk with your parents. go to therapy. get meds if you think itll help. anything, even if its doing a check-in at some point, is helpful. i kinda have the same problem, but if you need, i can be the check in person. and maybe you could do the same for me? idk, just some thoughts.

[Weaver of Lies he/him]

I could use some hugs right now.

[Cash67 Where’s/Perry]

1 minute ago, Lightweaver2 said:

I could use some hugs right now.

*offers hug*

*offers dice*

*sets up DM screen*

[Weaver of Lies he/him]

6 minutes ago, Cash67 said:

*offers hug*

*offers dice*

*sets up DM screen*

*accepts hugs*
*accepts dice, adding a set of my own as well*
*pulls out character sheet*
 

Thanks

 

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

23 minutes ago, Lightweaver2 said:

I could use some hugs right now.

*gives many hugs*

We're always here for you, always and I really mean it and hope you can feel it  

[Weaver of Lies he/him]

2 hours ago, The Wandering Wizard said:

*gives many hugs*

We're always here for you, always and I really mean it and hope you can feel it  

Thank you, and I know you are all here for me, I really appreciate it.

[The Honorable One he/him]

*sighs*

I have tons of homework. I have, like, three projects all due on the 30th, then another one due the 6th.

One of those projects is my science fair project, and I (stupidly) decided to do something that takes so long. What I'm doing is: "What Large Language Model (basically AI like Chat-GPT) gets the best score on a practice PSAT?" I had to translate 120 questions so that the LLMs could understand what it was supposed to do (took about two hours), then I had to plug them all in to 3 LLMs. One of them took literally a full minute to process each question, then another 30 seconds to spit a complete answer, which was wrong most of the time anyway. Plugging them in and recording the answers took literally 12+ hours on Saturday. And I'm still not finished.

I also have to write a Literature Review for a Research Paper I'm writing, and that takes a while.

I also have to find 45 visual sources (photos, videos) for the aforementioned Research Project.

And I also have to create an Annotated Bibliography for my Research Project.

I also have a band field trip on the 30th, the day that most of these are due. Also, I have an upcoming concert, and I play 1st trumpet in the top band, and 2nd in jazz band.

Anyways, sorry for the rant. You probably didn't need to hear the details of my school work. What I'm saying is that I am just super stressed out right now.

[TheRavenHasLanded he/him]

14 minutes ago, Ookla the Wayfarer said:

*sighs*

I have tons of homework. I have, like, three projects all due on the 30th, then another one due the 6th.

One of those projects is my science fair project, and I (stupidly) decided to do something that takes so long. What I'm doing is: "What Large Language Model (basically AI like Chat-GPT) gets the best score on a practice PSAT?" I had to translate 120 questions so that the LLMs could understand what it was supposed to do (took about two hours), then I had to plug them all in to 3 LLMs. One of them took literally a full minute to process each question, then another 30 seconds to spit a complete answer, which was wrong most of the time anyway. Plugging them in and recording the answers took literally 12+ hours on Saturday. And I'm still not finished.

I also have to write a Literature Review for a Research Paper I'm writing, and that takes a while.

I also have to find 45 visual sources (photos, videos) for the aforementioned Research Project.

And I also have to create an Annotated Bibliography for my Research Project.

I also have a band field trip on the 30th, the day that most of these are due. Also, I have an upcoming concert, and I play 1st trumpet in the top band, and 2nd in jazz band.

Anyways, sorry for the rant. You probably didn't need to hear the details of my school work. What I'm saying is that I am just super stressed out right now.

whoah- the research project sounds cool.

[solarcat she/her]

23 minutes ago, Ookla the Wayfarer said:

*sighs*

I have tons of homework. I have, like, three projects all due on the 30th, then another one due the 6th.

One of those projects is my science fair project, and I (stupidly) decided to do something that takes so long. What I'm doing is: "What Large Language Model (basically AI like Chat-GPT) gets the best score on a practice PSAT?" I had to translate 120 questions so that the LLMs could understand what it was supposed to do (took about two hours), then I had to plug them all in to 3 LLMs. One of them took literally a full minute to process each question, then another 30 seconds to spit a complete answer, which was wrong most of the time anyway. Plugging them in and recording the answers took literally 12+ hours on Saturday. And I'm still not finished.

I also have to write a Literature Review for a Research Paper I'm writing, and that takes a while.

I also have to find 45 visual sources (photos, videos) for the aforementioned Research Project.

And I also have to create an Annotated Bibliography for my Research Project.

I also have a band field trip on the 30th, the day that most of these are due. Also, I have an upcoming concert, and I play 1st trumpet in the top band, and 2nd in jazz band.

Anyways, sorry for the rant. You probably didn't need to hear the details of my school work. What I'm saying is that I am just super stressed out right now.

Yeah, that research project sounds cool

[Weaver of Lies he/him]

18 minutes ago, Ookla the Wayfarer said:

*sighs*

I have tons of homework. I have, like, three projects all due on the 30th, then another one due the 6th.

One of those projects is my science fair project, and I (stupidly) decided to do something that takes so long. What I'm doing is: "What Large Language Model (basically AI like Chat-GPT) gets the best score on a practice PSAT?" I had to translate 120 questions so that the LLMs could understand what it was supposed to do (took about two hours), then I had to plug them all in to 3 LLMs. One of them took literally a full minute to process each question, then another 30 seconds to spit a complete answer, which was wrong most of the time anyway. Plugging them in and recording the answers took literally 12+ hours on Saturday. And I'm still not finished.

I also have to write a Literature Review for a Research Paper I'm writing, and that takes a while.

I also have to find 45 visual sources (photos, videos) for the aforementioned Research Project.

And I also have to create an Annotated Bibliography for my Research Project.

I also have a band field trip on the 30th, the day that most of these are due. Also, I have an upcoming concert, and I play 1st trumpet in the top band, and 2nd in jazz band.

Anyways, sorry for the rant. You probably didn't need to hear the details of my school work. What I'm saying is that I am just super stressed out right now.

*hugs*

Don’t give up, you can do this.

[TheRavenHasLanded he/him]

*sighs*

Spoiler

im trembling. english was... not good. teacher got pretty mad, people were being mean to the teacher, being disrepectful, and it was loud. oh god- it was terrible. 

update:

Spoiler

Im too tired right now. I hate living right now. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im dealing with life, but just barely.

 

Edited November 28, 2023 by Ookla of Ravens

[Canada Lover]

8 hours ago, Ookla the Wayfarer said:

*sighs*

I have tons of homework. I have, like, three projects all due on the 30th, then another one due the 6th.

One of those projects is my science fair project, and I (stupidly) decided to do something that takes so long. What I'm doing is: "What Large Language Model (basically AI like Chat-GPT) gets the best score on a practice PSAT?" I had to translate 120 questions so that the LLMs could understand what it was supposed to do (took about two hours), then I had to plug them all in to 3 LLMs. One of them took literally a full minute to process each question, then another 30 seconds to spit a complete answer, which was wrong most of the time anyway. Plugging them in and recording the answers took literally 12+ hours on Saturday. And I'm still not finished.

I also have to write a Literature Review for a Research Paper I'm writing, and that takes a while.

I also have to find 45 visual sources (photos, videos) for the aforementioned Research Project.

And I also have to create an Annotated Bibliography for my Research Project.

I also have a band field trip on the 30th, the day that most of these are due. Also, I have an upcoming concert, and I play 1st trumpet in the top band, and 2nd in jazz band.

Anyways, sorry for the rant. You probably didn't need to hear the details of my school work. What I'm saying is that I am just super stressed out right now.

No way, me too! It's also not like we have a field trip that will take up 10 hours of our life... and also another new part to our Research Paper. 

2 hours ago, Ookla of Ravens said:

*sighs*

  Reveal hidden contents

im trembling. english was... not good. teacher got pretty mad, people were being mean to the teacher, being disrepectful, and it was loud. oh god- it was terrible. 

update:

  Reveal hidden contents

Im too tired right now. I hate living right now. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im dealing with life, but just barely.

 

Just deal with it, I would say it gets better, but... it may not. Just keep looking forward.

[Edema Rue she/her]

8 hours ago, Ookla the Wayfarer said:

*sighs*

I have tons of homework. I have, like, three projects all due on the 30th, then another one due the 6th.

One of those projects is my science fair project, and I (stupidly) decided to do something that takes so long. What I'm doing is: "What Large Language Model (basically AI like Chat-GPT) gets the best score on a practice PSAT?" I had to translate 120 questions so that the LLMs could understand what it was supposed to do (took about two hours), then I had to plug them all in to 3 LLMs. One of them took literally a full minute to process each question, then another 30 seconds to spit a complete answer, which was wrong most of the time anyway. Plugging them in and recording the answers took literally 12+ hours on Saturday. And I'm still not finished.

I also have to write a Literature Review for a Research Paper I'm writing, and that takes a while.

I also have to find 45 visual sources (photos, videos) for the aforementioned Research Project.

And I also have to create an Annotated Bibliography for my Research Project.

I also have a band field trip on the 30th, the day that most of these are due. Also, I have an upcoming concert, and I play 1st trumpet in the top band, and 2nd in jazz band.

Anyways, sorry for the rant. You probably didn't need to hear the details of my school work. What I'm saying is that I am just super stressed out right now.

*hugs*

Keep breathing. You’re doing a lot. It’s okay if everything comes out less than perfect. Hold on. It won’t last forever. We’re all here if there’s anything you need from us.

2 hours ago, Ookla of Ravens said:

*sighs*

  Reveal hidden contents

im trembling. english was... not good. teacher got pretty mad, people were being mean to the teacher, being disrepectful, and it was loud. oh god- it was terrible. 

update:

  Reveal hidden contents

Im too tired right now. I hate living right now. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im dealing with life, but just barely.

 

*hugs*

In my experience, English classes are almost always a pain. Breathe through it and don’t let people you can’t control pull you down.

[SmilingPanda19 Hi/Ho]

Today was a day.

Ive been shaking.

I got my limp back for some reason for a bit, I must of messed up my ankle.

was on the edge of tears earlier.

I don’t know what I’m doing or why I’m doing it.

Sorry to everyone who needs me. 
 

I’ve been shaking and trembling.

I’ve been silent.

Ive nearly cried.

Ive panicked.

Ive been fidgety.

Ive been EXTREMELY self conscious.

Today has been a day.

[The Honorable One he/him]

45 minutes ago, Canada Lover said:

No way, me too! It's also not like we have a field trip that will take up 10 hours of our life... and also another new part to our Research Paper. 

Very subtle.

9 hours ago, Ookla of Ravens said:

whoah- the research project sounds cool.

I'm in the advanced Reading/Writing classes at my school, so I had to pick my own research topic that we will make projects about for basically the whole year. I have to do a bunch of different projects all relating to my topic. I have to write basically a college level research paper (I'm not in college, in case you couldn't guess), find a bunch of research for that and do annoying projects. In January, I'll start working on either a website or a documentary about that topic. There's a whole competition that people enter, and I want to do well in that. Both of my older siblings were in the same program as me, and they both won the competition at school, then went to regionals, then on to state. Naturally, I am being expected to make it at least as far as them, so the pressure is on! Of course, most of the pressure is coming from myself.

Also, today I just got another project for that class, so hooray! I'll spare you the details of that, but... yeah.

8 hours ago, Ookla the foolish said:

*hugs*

Don’t give up, you can do this.

Thank you!

30 minutes ago, Ookla the Believer said:

*hugs*

Keep breathing. You’re doing a lot. It’s okay if everything comes out less than perfect. Hold on. It won’t last forever. We’re all here if there’s anything you need from us.

Thanks, but... it does have to perfect. Like, it has to. If it isn't... I don't even know. I am this massive overachiever who will literally break if I ever see anything less than a 96% in the gradebook.

...

Spoiler

I don't know if I'm okay.

 

3 hours ago, Ookla of Ravens said:

*sighs*

  Reveal hidden contents

im trembling. english was... not good. teacher got pretty mad, people were being mean to the teacher, being disrepectful, and it was loud. oh god- it was terrible. 

update:

  Reveal hidden contents

Im too tired right now. I hate living right now. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im dealing with life, but just barely.

 

Just remember to take it slow and breathe.

10 minutes ago, Ookla the Yellow Sock said:

Today was a day.

Ive been shaking.

I got my limp back for some reason for a bit, I must of messed up my ankle.

was on the edge of tears earlier.

I don’t know what I’m doing or why I’m doing it.

Sorry to everyone who needs me. 
 

I’ve been shaking and trembling.

I’ve been silent.

Ive nearly cried.

Ive panicked.

Ive been fidgety.

Ive been EXTREMELY self conscious.

Today has been a day.

*hugs*

Edited November 28, 2023 by Ookla the Wayfarer

[Edema Rue she/her]

5 minutes ago, Ookla the Wayfarer said:

Thanks, but... it does have to perfect. Like, it has to. If it isn't... I don't even know. I am this massive overachiever who will literally break if I ever see anything less than a 96% in the gradebook.

...

  Reveal hidden contents

I don't know if I'm okay.

 

I know. I’m the same way. It’s so easy to overthink and panic and spiral endlessly. Put in all the work you can, yes, but then if it doesn’t work out how you want it to, that’s okay. Let the logical part of your brain keep all the emotions in check.

[The Honorable One he/him]

Just now, Ookla the Believer said:

I know. I’m the same way. It’s so easy to overthink and panic and spiral endlessly. Put in all the work you can, yes, but then if it doesn’t work out how you want it to, that’s okay. Let the logical part of your brain keep all the emotions in check.

Thanks for the advice! I'll try to remember that.

[Edema Rue she/her]

1 minute ago, Ookla the Wayfarer said:

Thanks for the advice! I'll try to remember that.

Sorry if I sound judgmental, I swear I don’t mean to. And I know it’s always easier said than done. I just struggle with this a lot, and sometimes it helps just to have someone on the outside to remind you it’s okay to screw up.

[Canada Lover]

26 minutes ago, Ookla the Yellow Sock said:

Today was a day.

Ive been shaking.

I got my limp back for some reason for a bit, I must of messed up my ankle.

was on the edge of tears earlier.

I don’t know what I’m doing or why I’m doing it.

Sorry to everyone who needs me. 
 

I’ve been shaking and trembling.

I’ve been silent.

Ive nearly cried.

Ive panicked.

Ive been fidgety.

Ive been EXTREMELY self conscious.

Today has been a day.

*hugs* Keep calm and survive.

16 minutes ago, Ookla the Wayfarer said:

Very subtle.

I'm in the advanced Reading/Writing classes at my school, so I had to pick my own research topic that we will make projects about for basically the whole year. I have to do a bunch of different projects all relating to my topic. I have to write basically a college level research paper (I'm not in college, in case you couldn't guess), find a bunch of research for that and do annoying projects. In January, I'll start working on either a website or a documentary about that topic. There's a whole competition that people enter, and I want to do well in that. Both of my older siblings were in the same program as me, and they both won the competition at school, then went to regionals, then on to state. Naturally, I am being expected to make it at least as far as them, so the pressure is on! Of course, most of the pressure is coming from myself.

Also, today I just got another project for that class, so hooray! I'll spare you the details of that, but... yeah.

Thank you!

Thanks, but... it does have to perfect. Like, it has to. If it isn't... I don't even know. I am this massive overachiever who will literally break if I ever see anything less than a 96% in the gradebook.

...

  Hide contents

I don't know if I'm okay.

 

Just remember to take it slow and breathe.

*hugs*

Ah yes, like the 95% you got on the math quiz today.

[The Honorable One he/him]

9 minutes ago, Canada Lover said:

Ah yes, like the 95% you got on the math quiz today.

That doesn't count. It's more of the overall grade. Like, I had a 90% on some assignments last year, and that was fine, but as soon as saw it as the class grade, I went home and broke down. You weren't there for that part, Canada. Now, enough about me. I'm sure I'll be fine.

Edited November 28, 2023 by Ookla the Wayfarer

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

9 hours ago, Ookla the Wayfarer said:

*sighs*

I have tons of homework. I have, like, three projects all due on the 30th, then another one due the 6th.

One of those projects is my science fair project, and I (stupidly) decided to do something that takes so long. What I'm doing is: "What Large Language Model (basically AI like Chat-GPT) gets the best score on a practice PSAT?" I had to translate 120 questions so that the LLMs could understand what it was supposed to do (took about two hours), then I had to plug them all in to 3 LLMs. One of them took literally a full minute to process each question, then another 30 seconds to spit a complete answer, which was wrong most of the time anyway. Plugging them in and recording the answers took literally 12+ hours on Saturday. And I'm still not finished.

I also have to write a Literature Review for a Research Paper I'm writing, and that takes a while.

I also have to find 45 visual sources (photos, videos) for the aforementioned Research Project.

And I also have to create an Annotated Bibliography for my Research Project.

I also have a band field trip on the 30th, the day that most of these are due. Also, I have an upcoming concert, and I play 1st trumpet in the top band, and 2nd in jazz band.

Anyways, sorry for the rant. You probably didn't need to hear the details of my school work. What I'm saying is that I am just super stressed out right now.

3 hours ago, Ookla of Ravens said:

*sighs*

  Reveal hidden contents

im trembling. english was... not good. teacher got pretty mad, people were being mean to the teacher, being disrepectful, and it was loud. oh god- it was terrible. 

update:

  Hide contents

Im too tired right now. I hate living right now. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im dealing with life, but just barely.

 

37 minutes ago, Ookla the Yellow Sock said:

Today was a day.

Ive been shaking.

I got my limp back for some reason for a bit, I must of messed up my ankle.

was on the edge of tears earlier.

I don’t know what I’m doing or why I’m doing it.

Sorry to everyone who needs me. 
 

I’ve been shaking and trembling.

I’ve been silent.

Ive nearly cried.

Ive panicked.

Ive been fidgety.

Ive been EXTREMELY self conscious.

Today has been a day.

*pulls all into a group hug*

[The Honorable One he/him]

Just now, Ookla the Raveness said:

*pulls all into a group hug*

*hugs back*