Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

6 minutes ago, bleeder said:

Great! I'm glad he's OK. 

Me too.  

[Oversleep]

I think I know how Diesirae, the Shardholder of Wrath, feels all the time he's resisting his Intent.

Spoiler

A Shard I made up to convey my mood. Stay tuned.

 

[Orlion Blight he/him]

1 hour ago, Oversleep said:

I think I know how Diesirae, the Shardholder of Wrath, feels all the time he's resisting his Intent.

  Hide contents

A Shard I made up to convey my mood. Stay tuned.

 

The Shardholder is called Days of Wrath?

Spoiler

 

 

[Oversleep]

6 minutes ago, Orlion Determined said:

The Shardholder is called Days of Wrath?

Nope. It's Day, not Days

Anyway, my promised rant.
So today was day of cleaning the house (every second Thursday). And that topic is a sure hit for my family to argue about. My sister always, always can't do something because of some thing or doesn't want to do something or something is wrong. My mother is short tempered. My sister does the least work but won't admit it so when we try to balance it out she always claims it's untrue. I don't won't to get too deep into everything, I think you already get the picture.

But today I got angry. Really, really angry. I mean... it always goes the same route and why is everyone acting like 5 years olds who can't get over it all and try to work out a solution? No, my parents will fire back something along the lines of "we're making the money in this house" and so on.

Of course I am angry, both because my parents are extremetely irritating by such behaviour; and of course I am angry that I do the biggest chunk of it all and my sister still argues about the whole cleaning issue so I want to just scream at her to shut up and do her part but I know I'll just add fuel to the fire and I have to remain calm. And so I'm literally raging inside while forcing myself to remain calm and diffuse the situation.

And today was even worse as they all just shout at each other and I just wanted to scream for all of them to shut up. I didn't. And so part of my was keeping myself calm while inside I was literally trembling with rage. And part of me was actually scared of how angry I was. Hence the association with Shard of Wrath. I was containing it but just barely. During the two hours I have been vacuuming I found myself with hands shaking, heavy breath, teeth gritting or madly smiling and that was pretty scary. Now it has finally subsided but I think if I went all out I could fight a wall and win.

That would be all. I think I'm more sane now by the time I'm writing this post.

[Silverblade5 he/him]

7 hours ago, Oversleep said:

Nope. It's Day, not Days

Anyway, my promised rant.
So today was day of cleaning the house (every second Thursday). And that topic is a sure hit for my family to argue about. My sister always, always can't do something because of some thing or doesn't want to do something or something is wrong. My mother is short tempered. My sister does the least work but won't admit it so when we try to balance it out she always claims it's untrue. I don't won't to get too deep into everything, I think you already get the picture.

But today I got angry. Really, really angry. I mean... it always goes the same route and why is everyone acting like 5 years olds who can't get over it all and try to work out a solution? No, my parents will fire back something along the lines of "we're making the money in this house" and so on.

Of course I am angry, both because my parents are extremetely irritating by such behaviour; and of course I am angry that I do the biggest chunk of it all and my sister still argues about the whole cleaning issue so I want to just scream at her to shut up and do her part but I know I'll just add fuel to the fire and I have to remain calm. And so I'm literally raging inside while forcing myself to remain calm and diffuse the situation.

And today was even worse as they all just shout at each other and I just wanted to scream for all of them to shut up. I didn't. And so part of my was keeping myself calm while inside I was literally trembling with rage. And part of me was actually scared of how angry I was. Hence the association with Shard of Wrath. I was containing it but just barely. During the two hours I have been vacuuming I found myself with hands shaking, heavy breath, teeth gritting or madly smiling and that was pretty scary. Now it has finally subsided but I think if I went all out I could fight a wall and win.

That would be all. I think I'm more sane now by the time I'm writing this post.

I recommend finding a big stick, and whacking it against a tree a few times.

[soyperson]

40 minutes ago, Silverblade5 said:

I recommend finding a big stick, and whacking it against a tree a few times.

"I am a Stick and please do not abuse me"

[Silverblade5 he/him]

19 minutes ago, bleeder said:

"I am a Stick and please do not abuse me"

Bringing life to many smaller sticks occasionally requires a bit of abuse

[soyperson]

Just now, Silverblade5 said:

Bringing life to many smaller sticks occasionally requires a bit of abuse

So...

"Sacrifices must be made"?

[Silverblade5 he/him]

So, I've recently found out that my debit card has been deactivated without a call(transactions are being declined) and I can't access my online bank account. Yay.

[Delightful]

On 16 September 2016 at 0:38 AM, Claincy said:

K. So, I partly think I should be posting in the good news thread and not here but this thread fits how I'm feeling.

First the good:

I've been offered additional work at my current workplace. (Which is interesting, professional, well payed casual work.) So really, this is a very good thing I'm now at a point where I need to turn down some of the work offered cos I can't handle more cos of my health issues, which is where the bad part comes in. I've got an appointment with another specialist on Tuesday so hopefully they'll be able to help. But frankly I have difficulty feeling any optimism about that. Over 3 years and nothing we've tried has worked :/ It's not always that bad, sometimes it's less debilitating and more just annoying. Past couple of months have been fairly bad though.

Anyway, what bothers me more at the moment is that it's hard for me to really remember how it felt to not be sick/in pain and stupid as it may be that's kinda snuck into my identity. On top of that part of me is afraid of being well, partly because then I won't have an excuse for when I fail etc and partly cos I know that it's had a major impact on me as a person. Truth be told there were some negative aspects of my personality that changed for the better because of my sickness and part of me is a little afraid that if I were to get fully better some of that might sneak back in. I'd be on guard for it of course and I'd never let myself go too far that way, still, scares me a little.

Anyway, just been a couple of those days, I'll probably feel better tomorrow

*hugs*

I think not being in pain might be as much of an adjustment as being in pain was, but I don't think you'll go back to who you were before with all those previous personality traits you didn't like. You have to trust yourself a little and just see how it goes. As I always recommend, you could always get professional help, it's their job to deal with this kind of thing.

And, you won't "have an excuse" anymore but once you're totally well you won't need one, you'll be just as capable as anyone else. You're still allowed to get sick sometimes, it's not like anyone will suddenly expect you to be inhumanly perfect. And when you're getting better, if you need to take time off or whatever then that's what you'll need and you can take time off. I don't think anyone would, or could expect you to go from constantly sick/in pain to healthy as a spring chicken in 3 seconds flat. 

Good luck feeling better.

*more hugs*

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Spoiler

'Tis a day for brain weasels, which is ironic because it's coming on the heels of a really favorable performance review (my supervisor actually said he had trouble thinking of goals to set for me, because he had trouble thinking of areas where I could improve).

First, money. I'm not struggling, but I don't have much left over for fun after expenses, and I'm not buying anything extra while I get my savings built back up. Fine....but a coworker who was hired around the same time as me, and is also a recent graduate, comes to work every day with a drink from Starbucks and goes out to eat often. I know that it's probably the fact he doesn't have a pet that gives him the extra spending money, and I wouldn't trade Bruce for all the iced coffee in the world, but it's still a little jealousy inducing. 

Then there's Bruce. He's not even two yet and I'm already dreading the day when I'll have to say goodbye. Reminding myself that he's still a puppy does nothing. 

Then family. See, I have the perfect excuse for not going home for Christmas this year: the December schedule is already out. This is clearly labeled as a rough draft so we can juggle leave times, but I could just claim that I only get three days off and that isn't enough time to travel. When I think of Twimom's antics before I moved out, and even on the holiday last year (she said something about me behind my back, and when I asked her to clarify, she looked me dead in the eye and said "I don't know what you're talking about") I really don't want to go to all the trouble of traveling, which would probably make Bruce extremely nervous....but then I remember that I don't have any close friends nearby and would be spending the holidays alone. 

And....I don't know. The holiday was always more about family for me, and now that I'm realizing my family kind of sucks (even my siblings, who I was always close to, will text me what's going on in their lives and expect me to care and comment, but mine are often ignored) it shouldn't be a big deal to spend it alone, right? It's just another day. But I can't figure out how to make friends IRL, and I don't know where to go to look, or if I'd wind up repeating the same pattern I usually fall into (find people I like, think they like me, either realize or am tricked into thinking they're just being polite, pull away and spend days at home). I wonder if I'm one of those people who just doesn't fit anywhere, and is better off alone. Sometimes I'm okay with that prospect, but this week isn't one of those times.

 

[soyperson]

Just now, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

  Hide contents

'Tis a day for brain weasels, which is ironic because it's coming on the heels of a really favorable performance review (my supervisor actually said he had trouble thinking of goals to set for me, because he had trouble thinking of areas where I could improve).

First, money. I'm not struggling, but I don't have much left over for fun after expenses, and I'm not buying anything extra while I get my savings built back up. Fine....but a coworker who was hired around the same time as me, and is also a recent graduate, comes to work every day with a drink from Starbucks and goes out to eat often. I know that it's probably the fact he doesn't have a pet that gives him the extra spending money, and I wouldn't trade Bruce for all the iced coffee in the world, but it's still a little jealousy inducing. 

Then there's Bruce. He's not even two yet and I'm already dreading the day when I'll have to say goodbye. Reminding myself that he's still a puppy does nothing. 

Then family. See, I have the perfect excuse for not going home for Christmas this year: the December schedule is already out. This is clearly labeled as a rough draft so we can juggle leave times, but I could just claim that I only get three days off and that isn't enough time to travel. When I think of Twimom's antics before I moved out, and even on the holiday last year (she said something about me behind my back, and when I asked her to clarify, she looked me dead in the eye and said "I don't know what you're talking about") I really don't want to go to all the trouble of traveling, which would probably make Bruce extremely nervous....but then I remember that I don't have any close friends nearby and would be spending the holidays alone. 

And....I don't know. The holiday was always more about family for me, and now that I'm realizing my family kind of sucks (even my siblings, who I was always close to, will text me what's going on in their lives and expect me to care and comment, but mine are often ignored) it shouldn't be a big deal to spend it alone, right? It's just another day. But I can't figure out how to make friends IRL, and I don't know where to go to look, or if I'd wind up repeating the same pattern I usually fall into (find people I like, think they like me, either realize or am tricked into thinking they're just being polite, pull away and spend days at home). I wonder if I'm one of those people who just doesn't fit anywhere, and is better off alone. Sometimes I'm okay with that prospect, but this week isn't one of those times.

 

Hey Twi? Can I share with you a bit of my young-person, inexperienced lifestyle?

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Just now, bleeder said:

Hey Twi? Can I share with you a bit of my young-person, inexperienced lifestyle?

Sure. 

[soyperson]

7 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

Sure. 

Spoiler

In my life, which has not been as long as yours, I have faced a lot of pretty terrible circumstances. Diabetes, ADHD, depression, loss, stress, and many other adversities. 

Things are hard. Life is unfair and unpredictable. 

And you can be all neurotic and try to plan for life's unexpectedness, or you can just go with it.

Don't keep things bottled up inside; feel what you need to feel.

I just go where life takes me, and I just chill. Calm down, breathe. Listen to some records. 

I take at least 10 minutes, every day, just to remind myself that everything is OK, and I breathe, and I chill. 

So, Twi, just chill. Calm down. Everything will be OK. Things come and go, and that's how life is. Just enjoy life. 

Just chill, Twi.

 

That may just be my idealistic, adolescent mind hoping for the best, but it's how I live.

Edited September 17, 2016 by bleeder

[Edgedancer he/him]

1 hour ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

  Hide contents

'Tis a day for brain weasels, which is ironic because it's coming on the heels of a really favorable performance review (my supervisor actually said he had trouble thinking of goals to set for me, because he had trouble thinking of areas where I could improve).

First, money. I'm not struggling, but I don't have much left over for fun after expenses, and I'm not buying anything extra while I get my savings built back up. Fine....but a coworker who was hired around the same time as me, and is also a recent graduate, comes to work every day with a drink from Starbucks and goes out to eat often. I know that it's probably the fact he doesn't have a pet that gives him the extra spending money, and I wouldn't trade Bruce for all the iced coffee in the world, but it's still a little jealousy inducing. 

Then there's Bruce. He's not even two yet and I'm already dreading the day when I'll have to say goodbye. Reminding myself that he's still a puppy does nothing. 

Then family. See, I have the perfect excuse for not going home for Christmas this year: the December schedule is already out. This is clearly labeled as a rough draft so we can juggle leave times, but I could just claim that I only get three days off and that isn't enough time to travel. When I think of Twimom's antics before I moved out, and even on the holiday last year (she said something about me behind my back, and when I asked her to clarify, she looked me dead in the eye and said "I don't know what you're talking about") I really don't want to go to all the trouble of traveling, which would probably make Bruce extremely nervous....but then I remember that I don't have any close friends nearby and would be spending the holidays alone. 

And....I don't know. The holiday was always more about family for me, and now that I'm realizing my family kind of sucks (even my siblings, who I was always close to, will text me what's going on in their lives and expect me to care and comment, but mine are often ignored) it shouldn't be a big deal to spend it alone, right? It's just another day. But I can't figure out how to make friends IRL, and I don't know where to go to look, or if I'd wind up repeating the same pattern I usually fall into (find people I like, think they like me, either realize or am tricked into thinking they're just being polite, pull away and spend days at home). I wonder if I'm one of those people who just doesn't fit anywhere, and is better off alone. Sometimes I'm okay with that prospect, but this week isn't one of those times.

 

You know Twi, Bleeder already gave some decent advice but let me tell you something about that last point. You fit in with us. There are plenty of people here that genuienly like and care about you, me included of course. And I'm having a hard time imagining anyone decent not wanting to spend time with someone as awesome as you. So if you ever need someone for any kind of human interaction, we're right here for you.

[Orlion Blight he/him]

If you are a church going type, joining a church is a way to get some group interactions, particularly since they have activities outside of Sunday services. Also, you might get invited to spend Christmas with a member family.

As far as family was concerned, when I was a missionary in Nicaragua for a couple years, I spent two Christmases in that country. What the mission allowed was a phone call to the family (they tended to be long) so calling your family is an option as well. Seemed to help people. Not me, though. I have a natural tendency to stoicism, so I really didn't get homesick. 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

3 hours ago, bleeder said:

  Reveal hidden contents

In my life, which has not been as long as yours, I have faced a lot of pretty terrible circumstances. Diabetes, ADHD, depression, loss, stress, and many other adversities. 

Things are hard. Life is unfair and unpredictable. 

And you can be all neurotic and try to plan for life's unexpectedness, or you can just go with it.

Don't keep things bottled up inside; feel what you need to feel.

I just go where life takes me, and I just chill. Calm down, breathe. Listen to some records. 

I take at least 10 minutes, every day, just to remind myself that everything is OK, and I breathe, and I chill. 

So, Twi, just chill. Calm down. Everything will be OK. Things come and go, and that's how life is. Just enjoy life. 

Just chill, Twi.

 

That may just be my idealistic, adolescent mind hoping for the best, but it's how I live.

I'm trying to just enjoy things, and most of the time I can. It's just moments like this that seem to come out of nowhere when everything feels like it's about to go wrong.

I do feel better now, though.

2 hours ago, Edgedancer said:

You know Twi, Bleeder already gave some decent advice but let me tell you something about that last point. You fit in with us. There are plenty of people here that genuienly like and care about you, me included of course. And I'm having a hard time imagining anyone decent not wanting to spend time with someone as awesome as you. So if you ever need someone for any kind of human interaction, we're right here for you.

Thank you so much.  To be honest, the Shard may be the first place, online or off, where I've fit in well and actually become popular. I just don't know how to translate that into real life. 

1 hour ago, Orlion Determined said:

If you are a church going type, joining a church is a way to get some group interactions, particularly since they have activities outside of Sunday services. Also, you might get invited to spend Christmas with a member family.

As far as family was concerned, when I was a missionary in Nicaragua for a couple years, I spent two Christmases in that country. What the mission allowed was a phone call to the family (they tended to be long) so calling your family is an option as well. Seemed to help people. Not me, though. I have a natural tendency to stoicism, so I really didn't get homesick. 

I went to a Unitarian Universalist church a while back and liked it, but I didn't go back. I don't know what it was. Maybe I wasn't ready to go back to church, maybe I didn't fit there, either. It doesn't help that all of their introductory classes and whatnot are scheduled on nights when I have to work. 

And even if someone in the church asked me to spend Christmas with them....I don't know, I'd feel bad accepting, no matter how badly I wanted to. It's a family holiday, and I'd feel like I were taking time away from them. Even if I weren't. 

So I guess that's another problem feeding into the whole mess. 

[soyperson]

1 minute ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

I'm trying to just enjoy things, and most of the time I can. It's just moments like this that seem to come out of nowhere when everything feels like it's about to go wrong.

I do feel better now, though.

Thank you so much.  To be honest, the Shard may be the first place, online or off, where I've fit in well and actually become popular. I just don't know how to translate that into real life. 

I went to a Unitarian Universalist church a while back and liked it, but I didn't go back. I don't know what it was. Maybe I wasn't ready to go back to church, maybe I didn't fit there, either. It doesn't help that all of their introductory classes and whatnot are scheduled on nights when I have to work. 

And even if someone in the church asked me to spend Christmas with them....I don't know, I'd feel bad accepting, no matter how badly I wanted to. It's a family holiday, and I'd feel like I were taking time away from them. Even if I weren't. 

So I guess that's another problem feeding into the whole mess. 

Popular? You're infamous! Not a week goes by when you're not on top of the leaderboards in rep points.

We love you here, Twi! And we'll help you with your daily life any way we can. That's the great thing about the Shard: a bunch of misfit people, dedicated to a fandom that barely anyone's ever heard of, and who have never met in real life, venting to each other and helping each other resolve their daily conflicts. If we were to have met in real life without the Shard, we'd have forgotten each other without a second thought. But this is a community. It's like The Breakfast Club, just with more memes, and more Sanderson, and more comic books, and... Yeah. You get the picture. 

[Edgedancer he/him]

1 minute ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

I'm trying to just enjoy things, and most of the time I can. It's just moments like this that seem to come out of nowhere when everything feels like it's about to go wrong.

I do feel better now, though.

Thank you so much.  To be honest, the Shard may be the first place, online or off, where I've fit in well and actually become popular. I just don't know how to translate that into real life.

I know where you are coming from, I don't exactly have a friend group that I properly fit in either. Just makes it even more wonderful that there's a bunch of awesome people here and you're right on top of that list.

[Sunbird she/her]

Twi, although I don't really know how you're feeling because your situation isn't something I've experienced myself, I want to echo what Edgedancer and Bleeder have said: you always have us. We're here for you and we love you, and I can't imagine that any decent person who takes the time to get to know you would not want to be your friend. I hope you find someone you can enjoy Christmas with this year.  *hugs*

[Orlion Blight he/him]

35 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

And even if someone in the church asked me to spend Christmas with them....I don't know, I'd feel bad accepting, no matter how badly I wanted to. It's a family holiday, and I'd feel like I were taking time away from them. Even if I weren't. 

So I guess that's another problem feeding into the whole mess. 

Sorry, for some reason that reminded me of the following video:

Spoiler

 

 

[Mistrunner]

28 minutes ago, bleeder said:

Popular? You're infamous! Not a week goes by when you're not on top of the leaderboards in rep points.

We love you here, Twi! And we'll help you with your daily life any way we can. That's the great thing about the Shard: a bunch of misfit people, dedicated to a fandom that barely anyone's ever heard of, and who have never met in real life, venting to each other and helping each other resolve their daily conflicts. If we were to have met in real life without the Shard, we'd have forgotten each other without a second thought. But this is a community. It's like The Breakfast Club, just with more memes, and more Sanderson, and more comic books, and... Yeah. You get the picture. 

This is possibly the best description of the Shard I've seen.

All of us strangers on the internet are here for you, Twi. *hugs*

[Delightful]

Am I the only one who didn't really get The Breakfast Club? It just didn't do anything emotional for me.

Twi, firstly, there are some wonderful people in the world who absolutely love having guests over, and you make their holiday significantly better by being there. So if you can find someone like that, no need to feel guilty!

You could also look for other people without family who are getting together for Christmas, is there, like, I dunno, a New Orleans singles Facebook group? Are there other singles who work with you at the library? Or you could start a Christmas dinner (lunch? breakfast?) group and invite other people who might be lonely and make friends that way! Or at least, put up posters in the library asking for interest in the idea? I'm sure you're not the only one without local family. Put "love of pugs a bonus" and maybe Bruce can find a good friend too!

 

.....Ok I don't know if i'd be brave enough to do that myself. But its an idea. I'd definitely keep eyes are ears open for opportunities.

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

I don't understand why you have so many bad days @TwiLyghtSansSparkles  Afterall your a very lucky person

Good things are yet to come 

Afterall, that's what I always tell myself, and it works most of the time  

[Kaymyth she/her]

Making friends usually starts with finding similar interests.  A lot of gaming stores have open board game nights, and they tend to be highly populated with geeks of many stripes.  Go find one that happens on a night you can make it, learn some new games, and make some new friends.