Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

5 minutes ago, Silverblade5 said:

I really want to be there for her, but I don't know how. Talking seems to help, but I can only continue conversations at best. I can't start them, and can't really draw her out either. Generally, when I have a conversation, once the other person stops responding, I'm stuck and it just ends up dying. On the bright side, she allowed me to take her paperclip just now. 

I know it doesn't seem like much, but just listening to her will help more than you think. She needs a safe person to open up to, someone who'll just listen and let her get things off her chest without jumping in and trying to solve all her problems. She knows what's going on in her life and in her head, and having someone to listen to her will help her work out some of the things she's going through. And letting you take her paperclip is definitely a good sign. 

[Silverblade5 he/him]

On behalf of a friend: Suppose your parents are fighting outside your room over something trivial. Loudly.  You want to get your headphones so you can drown them out with music. You can't, as doing so would require noise. Noise will make your parents mad at you, as you're supposed to be asleep like a good little child, and will get you dragged into their argument. What do you do?

[Sunbird she/her]

1 hour ago, Silverblade5 said:

On behalf of a friend: Suppose your parents are fighting outside your room over something trivial. Loudly.  You want to get your headphones so you can drown them out with music. You can't, as doing so would require noise. Noise will make your parents mad at you, as you're supposed to be asleep like a good little child, and will get you dragged into their argument. What do you do?

If the parents were reasonable, I'd open the door and say, "Hey, I'm trying to sleep. Can you take your shouting match somewhere else?" But based on your description of the situation, the parents sound anything but reasonable. So I'm afraid I don't have any advice that I think will actually help.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

6 hours ago, Silverblade5 said:

On behalf of a friend: Suppose your parents are fighting outside your room over something trivial. Loudly.  You want to get your headphones so you can drown them out with music. You can't, as doing so would require noise. Noise will make your parents mad at you, as you're supposed to be asleep like a good little child, and will get you dragged into their argument. What do you do?

Get the headphones and say "I couldn't sleep, I was having a bad dream and thought music might help," and then lie down with the music on and the lights off to give the appearance of sleep. She might still get yelled at that time, but next time she'll have an excuse. 

[Kaymyth she/her]

11 hours ago, Silverblade5 said:

On behalf of a friend: Suppose your parents are fighting outside your room over something trivial. Loudly.  You want to get your headphones so you can drown them out with music. You can't, as doing so would require noise. Noise will make your parents mad at you, as you're supposed to be asleep like a good little child, and will get you dragged into their argument. What do you do?

Stumble out into the hall, bleary-eyed and confused, and start spouting half-relevant nonsense phrases like you're not actually awake, but the argument has triggered a nightmare and you're sleepwalking in the middle of it.

[Oversleep]

12 hours ago, Silverblade5 said:

You can't, as doing so would require noise.

Try to sneak like a ninja. It may not work out this time but it is a useful skill.

But if you make noise the reasonable reply is that certain something awoke you.

[Silverblade5 he/him]

Learning depressing details. I just learned that my friend has blackouts that last for a few seconds at a time. On top of that, she was playing around on the stairs today. She ended up asking for help getting down, and it was a good thing she did, as she ended up blacking out while I was helping her. I ended up having to lift her up and carry her to the ground. She woke up a few seconds later.

[Oversleep]

@Silverblade5 is that the same friend that cut herself?

BTW, it sounds like narcolepsy.

[Silverblade5 he/him]

Just now, Oversleep said:

@Silverblade5 is that the same friend that cut herself?

BTW, it sounds like narcolepsy.

Yes. She has a habit of suddenly collapsing if she's overly stressed or anxious. 9 times today.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Has she at least been to the school nurse about it? This sounds like a serious safety issue, and since it's less....likely to be misunderstood than cutting, seeking medical help for that may be less likely to send her parents into orbit. 

[Silverblade5 he/him]

21 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

Has she at least been to the school nurse about it? This sounds like a serious safety issue, and since it's less....likely to be misunderstood than cutting, seeking medical help for that may be less likely to send her parents into orbit. 

I made her during lunch.

[Delightful]

5 hours ago, Silverblade5 said:

I made her during lunch.

You're being a great friend. She's lucky to have you looking after her. 

[Kaymyth she/her]

16 hours ago, Silverblade5 said:

Yes. She has a habit of suddenly collapsing if she's overly stressed or anxious. 9 times today.

She really needs to be checked out by a doctor.  There are a number of things that can cause this; blood pressure, narcolepsy, epilepsy...there's a huge list.  They're all treatable to some extend, but she needs a diagnosis first.

[Silverblade5 he/him]

1 hour ago, Kaymyth said:

She really needs to be checked out by a doctor.  There are a number of things that can cause this; blood pressure, narcolepsy, epilepsy...there's a huge list.  They're all treatable to some extend, but she needs a diagnosis first.

Which won't happen as I almost had to drag her to the nurse. She was very resistant to the idea. 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

34 minutes ago, Silverblade5 said:

Which won't happen as I almost had to drag her to the nurse. She was very resistant to the idea. 

She needs assurance that the doctor who diagnoses her is a safe person, someone who genuinely wants to help and won't judge her. And she's probably also afraid that the blackouts are her fault and that the doctor will only confirm that fear, which will then be reported to her parents. If you can find some information online pointing to the fact that she has these blackouts through no fault of her own, it might help convince her to see a doctor. 

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

Dad....he made me go outside today. Said that walking is "good for me"

No thank you dad, I'm perfectly fine sitting here RPing, talking and sharding.

But noooooooo

[soyperson]

5 minutes ago, Dankness Ascendant said:

Dad....he made me go outside today. Said that walking is "good for me"

No thank you dad, I'm perfectly fine sitting here RPing, talking and sharding.

But noooooooo

What time is it for you right about now?

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

42 minutes ago, bleeder said:

What time is it for you right about now?

10:26 pm now. He made me go at 6pm

[Quiver he/him]

...guess I'm going to bite the bullet on this:

I've been feeling like a failure recently. Nearly three decades on this earth, and I haven't notched up any successes to my name. Sometimes it feels like I'm just... counting down the clock until it runs down. 

I'm always worried that saying this sounds like I'm suicidal or something, so to clarify: I'm not. But I do often think about... if I were to disappear, or whatever, I don't know if there would be any... 

I don't know. Reaction? It wouldn't be a huge loss or anything since, like I said, I haven't done anything. I don't know. I'm sort of rambling. But... yeah. I just... kind of feel like I'm sort of useless lately. Like I'm not worth very much. And then I worry that posts like this make me seem... whiny or immature. Sorry. 

Edited October 24, 2016 by Quiver

[soyperson]

47 minutes ago, Quiver said:

...guess I'm going to bite the bullet on this:

I've been feeling like a failure recently. Nearly three decades on this earth, and I haven't notched up any successes to my name. Sometimes it feels like I'm just... counting down the clock until it runs down. 

I'm always worried that saying this sounds like I'm suicidal or something, so to clarify: I'm not. But I do often think about... if I were to disappear, or whatever, I don't know if there would be any... 

I don't know. Reaction? It wouldn't be a huge loss or anything since, like I said, I haven't done anything. I don't know. I'm sort of rambling. But... yeah. I just... kind of feel like I'm sort of useless lately. Like I'm not worth very much. And then I worry that posts like this make me seem... whiny or immature. Sorry. 

Quivs! You changed your profile pic! It looks good! 

 

I understand feeling like a failure. I may be half your age but I think I know what you're going through. 

A tidbit of wisdom from my dad, a while back: you'll never feel successful if you're not doing something you love. I know folks who suck at guitar, but they love it, so they feel good about themselves. Find something you feel passionate about, and you'll never fail. 

Also, about the second thing... You never know who you affect in life. 

Every day, you pass by thousands of beautiful, intricate strangers with full, complex, complicated lives like your own. You never know how much you can affect these random people. After all, you've affected all of us, for the better, and we've never met you. You are a wonderful, beautifully strange creation. And, truly, a good man. There should be more of those, not less. Think less about who won't miss you, and more about who will. 

We're all counting down the clock 'til it runs out, Quivs. You can't stop the progression of time, so live now.

Life before death, strength before weakness, journey before destination. (I know I sound like a walking Sander-cliche but it holds true )

[Silverblade5 he/him]

Well, her parents found out. She went down for a nap and forget to cover the scars. They went through her texts, but thankfully missed the ones mentioning the gdoc. When she tried to tell her mom why, she laughed, and said that she was just seeking attention. She told that she was worthless, that no one could ever love her because of this(I actually mildly do) She was told that this was the last year she'd do marching band, one of the few things that can make her smile. My school does this thing where every other day, students are guaranteed an hour where they can get help from teachers. This will no longer be allowed for her. She was told she'd be put on antidepressants. Last time she was told this, her parents never followed through. I'm very scared for her now. 

[Mestiv he/him]

19 minutes ago, Silverblade5 said:

Well, her parents found out. She went down for a nap and forget to cover the scars. They went through her texts, but thankfully missed the ones mentioning the gdoc. When she tried to tell her mom why, she laughed, and said that she was just seeking attention. She told that she was worthless, that no one could ever love her because of this(I actually mildly do) She was told that this was the last year she'd do marching band, one of the few things that can make her smile. My school does this thing where every other day, students are guaranteed an hour where they can get help from teachers. This will no longer be allowed for her. She was told she'd be put on antidepressants. Last time she was told this, her parents never followed through. I'm very scared for her now. 

This should really go to some authorities... I feel so sorry for her

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

17 minutes ago, Silverblade5 said:

Well, her parents found out. She went down for a nap and forget to cover the scars. They went through her texts, but thankfully missed the ones mentioning the gdoc. When she tried to tell her mom why, she laughed, and said that she was just seeking attention. She told that she was worthless, that no one could ever love her because of this(I actually mildly do) She was told that this was the last year she'd do marching band, one of the few things that can make her smile. My school does this thing where every other day, students are guaranteed an hour where they can get help from teachers. This will no longer be allowed for her. She was told she'd be put on antidepressants. Last time she was told this, her parents never followed through. I'm very scared for her now. 

Great Noodly One. I'm not sure there's a smiley that accurately describes my emotions here, but suffice it to say that if I knew her parents personally, I'd tell them off. 

Right now, it's more important that you be there for her than ever. I know it's all you CAN do, but that doesn't mean it's not important. Seriously. If I'd had someone I could talk to back when I was going through a similar thing with my parents, it would have made all the difference in the world. 

Does she like music? I could recommend some songs that have helped me. 

[Silverblade5 he/him]

12 minutes ago, Mestiv said:

This should really go to some authorities... I feel so sorry for her

Her parents were discussing going to the cops on her cutting. For her, anything about cops would equal her  being removed from school to go a proper hospital. In this scenario, she'd end up completely cut off from me, which would have a high potential of making me very sad. Bringing up cops would put something like this in her mind, and would be a bad idea.

12 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

Great Noodly One. I'm not sure there's a smiley that accurately describes my emotions here, but suffice it to say that if I knew her parents personally, I'd tell them off. 

Right now, it's more important that you be there for her than ever. I know it's all you CAN do, but that doesn't mean it's not important. Seriously. If I'd had someone I could talk to back when I was going through a similar thing with my parents, it would have made all the difference in the world. 

Does she like music? I could recommend some songs that have helped me. 

She enjoys depressing music. 

[Assassin in Burgundy he/him]

I've been staring at the rubric for a book report that's due tomorrow. I haven't started it and I barely know what the book is about. Help. Need motivation. 

EDIT: @Silverblade5, I would make a list of the good things about your friend ad then show it to her. That's worked in the past for me. 

Edited October 24, 2016 by Assassin in Burgundy