Random Stuff IX: Rogue Admins

[Quiver he/him]

Question: do pugs bite?

I mena... they're dogs. I assume they would bark and bit someone, if pushed. But everythign I've seen in reference to them focuses on them being adorable or cowardly, or whatever.

I'm not trying to besmirch the good name of pug pups. I'm just saying I don't think I'd put a baby next to a dog.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

1 minute ago, Quiver said:

Question: do pugs bite?

I mena... they're dogs. I assume they would bark and bit someone, if pushed. But everythign I've seen in reference to them focuses on them being adorable or cowardly, or whatever.

I'm not trying to besmirch the good name of pug pups. I'm just saying I don't think I'd put a baby next to a dog.

It depends on how well the pug is trained. I've never seen a pug bite an infant--they're not aggressive dogs, so they don't bite often period--but I wouldn't put an untrained dog of any breed next to a baby, either. 

[soyperson]

Y'know what's terribly inefficient, but incredibly entertaining?

Dragging logs up a hill using a pull system you devised, comprised of a rope and a belt buckle. 

It also makes you feel like a Lurcher because the weighted end of the rope has excellent pulling momentum. It's lovely.

[DreamLord_Erith he/him]

12 hours ago, bleeder said:

Whoa, man. That's a lot of pug memes.

I spent hours amassing these memes, just for the shard, that's not bad is it?

[Eki]

1 hour ago, DreamLord_Erith said:

I spent hours amassing these memes, just for the shard, that's not bad is it?

Weeeell... It's generally a good idea to put huge lists of images in spoiler tags, so they don't take up so much space for people who want to scroll past them. Otherwise, there is nothing wrong with pug pictures.

[Arrae]

14 hours ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

Early morning thoughts from Twi....

You know how in the seventh book, Hogwarts has become essentially a maximum security brainwashing and torture facility where students must either conform or suffer? Well, I'm wondering how many knew about the change ahead of time....and what would've happened if every single Hogwarts student played hooky that year.

Yes, I know that the correct answer is "The Snatchers would've had a field day and Umbridge would've found an excuse to put those students that were caught on trial." But I find the thought of the Carrows walking into an empty Great Hall and going "Uh....guys?" amusing.

There's a pretty nice fic about what life was like in Hogwarts during the Deathly Hallows. It's called Dumbledore's Army and the Year of Darkness, (warning: character deaths, torture, sexual context) and at one point, most of the students end up in the Room of Requirement to hide from the staff. (Not a spoiler, since it's mentioned in the books). It's a pretty good fic, but much darker than the Deathly Hallows.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

16 minutes ago, Arraenae said:

There's a pretty nice fic about what life was like in Hogwarts during the Deathly Hallows. It's called Dumbledore's Army and the Year of Darkness, (warning: character deaths, torture, sexual context) and at one point, most of the students end up in the Room of Requirement to hide from the staff. (Not a spoiler, since it's mentioned in the books). It's a pretty good fic, but much darker than the Deathly Hallows.

I tried reading it once, but the way the author took Snape from a complex, hurting person who hurt people to an Always Chaotic Evil cremhole really turned me off. That, and I found his portrayals of the female DA members to be kind of patronizing, which was another turnoff, so….thanks, but not really my thing. 

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

I....I went back to my old Wattpad account.....I started it in Yr 7, almost 3 years ago....and daaamn the memories hit hard. 

https://www.wattpad.com/user/damnation101 (my acc)

This in particular. A random story my old friend Brydon and I made in yr 7.

Now presenting.....Bikes! Psychopaths! and Unicorns! 

There is swearing, there are magically motorbikes, there is an alternate reality. And there is God.

The Night Before Christmas

Spoiler

It was the night before Christmas, storm clouds hung over Gotham. W.N( you choose what the initials stand for:) searched the city. Looking for his next victim. Just as it happened Bryce Wan (a.k.a Man Bat) was fighting his rival Timothy Obama (a.k.a Mud Pie). " Get out of here Obama. You aren't wanted here yah black boofhead" Man Bat slurred " This here is my turf and only I can solve this troubled city's problems". "Hell no Man Bat, you see Gotham is also my responsibility-"BADABOOM!!! Timothy was cut off his sentence as he died instantly. Killed by a gas bomb along with Bryce, thrown by W.N who had gotten bored of their argument. He licked his lips and started stabbing them.

Then a thunderclap boomed through the city. God had coincidentally looked down and saw W.N. "Shame on you!!!" He roared " you have killed a servant of god( he didn't see Obama as he was just a streak of mud against the pavement) may my wrath befall you!!!". W.N was, for the first time in his life afraid, he has never been a supporter of God and dropped his dagger.

Then the night shone bright and from the pits of the local dumpster rose a magnificent warrior in a pitch black helmet riding a robotic rainbow unicorn. " This post has been reported for attempting to skirt the rules!!?" He cried tears running down his cheek as he suppressed a fit of laughter" Is that the best you've got?" God in turn clicked his fingers. The rainbow unicorn turned into a terrifying fire-breathing Harley Davidson. "Spoke too soon"muttered the strange human being. A little robot swung out from behind him and said " Would you like a Whisky before you thrash that insufferable carbon-based being?"

" Sure thing butler". He hadn't even taken a sip from the bottle when W.N screamed in rage, " how dare you insult me?! You insufferable wretch". " Alright,calm down, here have a beer" the stranger sighed and threw him a can, " and call me John, Long John". "Hmmmmm, premium beer from down under" W.N said dreamily as he caught it and took a swig.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

God looked at the two mortals with renewed up interest, not to mention his annoyance at the fact that his servant, Hell's Angel had decided to take a diplomatic view on the matter. Nevertheless he thought, He must defeat the sinner eventually. God sighed and relaxed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

W.N sculled the beer down in a couple of gulps and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, "Mmmm so good" he said as his eyes dilated. A couple of minutes later John smashed his bottle on the pavement, " 'nuff talk, It's time for some action". W.N smiled and brought out some more gas bombs. " This is gonna be some fun".

Darn it. I was childish.

A Look into The Past

Spoiler

A sphere grew around John as he looked into W.N's past. He saw how he was raised by a family of druggies and that he was dumped on the streets when he was found to be psychotic after a series of 'accidents' school. He learned how to survive in Gotham's back alleys as he slowly rose the crime ladder becoming most wanted man for a few weeks until the 'Stroke of death' entered Gotham's dangerous game and dropped to 17th on the ladder.

Soon John found what he was looking for- W.N's weakness. It was alcohol , promptly displayed the first time he walked into a pub, had a bit of brandy and the spasticated fit that followed it. John cursed, the beer that he had given to W.N only contained a little amount of alcohol.

W.N was annoyed. The man who called himself Long John had gone into some sort of trance in which he was slowly mumbling to himself. "Stupid man can't even fight me like a man" he thought as he pounded at the protective bubble that surrounded him. Stuff him, it was almost dawn and he would have to retreat and draw the man to an open area so his transformation could take place.

John opened his eyes after what seemed like an eternity. It had been twenty minutes and W.N looked as though he was whacking the sphere with a baseball bat. It was slowly getting lighter and John could finally make out some detail in the man. He studied his opponent while he caught his breath ( W.N not John). He was a short, skinny man who had a tuft of hair missing from his head. He seemed to have strong muscular arms and had an athletic look to it. He was in his mid-thirties with some stubble and a crazy moustache. " Reminds me of Hitler" John thought.

Finally, when John saw that W.N was tiring he broke the protective bubble. W.N looked annoyed, " that wasn't very fair now was it?". " I didn't come here to play fair. Let's cut to the chase eh?" John replied. W.N smiled " You read my mind" he then took two Molotov cocktails from his pockets (where did he get the space?) and threw them at John, temporarily setting him on fire. Suddenly the first rays of the sun reached the back alley and W.N thought bitterly, " It's too late".

John batted out the flames and looked up. A great big black and white beast- similar to the one called Antivenom- was licking its lips. " SKREEEEEE!," it yelled. John was confused. Either the monster had killed W.N,he had summoned the monster (W.N) or W.N was the monster

Oh god. this is making me cringe.

The Chase 

Spoiler

HUGE. The monster was huge, 4 meters tall with dangerous looking spikes and thorns covering his body he looked pretty intimidating. John sighed. Seemed as if he would have to kill the beast before it started terrorising people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God smiled. It seemed as if there would be some action anyway. He then summoned a storm to add some emotion to the scene and watched on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And this was where I stopped. I think there was a noose around here somewhere

If you guys want to follow me there, I'm planning on starting to use WattPad again, and posting some of my own stories.

[ParadoxicalZen he/him]

@Quiver I would pay to see Constantine as the DatDA teacher xD

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

Harry was late for his first Defense against the Dark Arts lesson. He had been apprehended by Peeves two corridors down the Fat Lady, and he hoped that the new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher wouldn't deduct points for his being late so early in the term. He rushed into the Serpentine Corridor of the third floor and, opened the door to the room with a flick of his wand. He stood there, clutching his chest, as he fought to catch his breath.

"Your late"

Harry nodded and stood straight, having caught his breath. The new teacher was one of the strangest he'd seen, he sat, leaning back on his chair with his feet resting on the table, which seemed to have been used as a temporary ash-tray. He was wearing a brown trench coat, a rumpled shirt and tie as well as a pair of black trousers. He breathed out some smoke, which took the form of a dragon, and set the Silk Cut cigarette he had been smoking onto the same table, among a mass of other cigarette butts. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Sorry sir, Peeves. He stopped me on my way"

The man grunted, and that, dear readers, is why you don't keep a Poltergeist in an establishment . "5 points from Gryffindor for being unable to stop a simple poltergeist, make sure your not late again".

The rest of the class had been silent during the foray, and returned to talking amongst themselves as Harry went over to sit beside Ron and Hermione, he wasn't sure if he would like this new teacher.

"Alright class," the man sad, standing up, but the students continued talking, taking no heed of him. "OI! SHUT UP YOU USELESS TOERAGS!", he exclaimed, little blue lights appearing around his hands. "NOW LISTEN UP! THERE WILL BE NO TALKING IN THIS HERE CLASSROOM UNLESS I SAY SO? YOU HERE ME YOU BLOODY MOTH-" He stopped himself there, and breathed deeply, "Just a bunch of kids, annoying or not", he whispered to himself.

"Alright then, lets start over now shall we? I'm John Constantine, and I'll be your storming Defense against the Dark Arts teacher this term". He gave them a nasty grin, then began walking around the class, "So you all think you know what the Dark Arts are do ya? You think you know the sort of things that lurk in the bowels of this infernal planet? You all no nothing, and I shall treat you all as if you know nothing you here me?" 

The class nodded, then breathed out in awe as Constantine's hand caught fire, "The Dark Arts...they are..." He stopped for a moment, as if he had forgotten. "Ah yes, they are the evil incarnate of this world, the darkness that resides in mortal men, angels, demons and God himself taking form on the face of the Earth. They are the hordes of chaos, practitioners of an evil most ancient. They have been here indefinitely and will continue to do so, despite the efforts of the righteous.."

He held the flame in the cup of his hand, slowing making the flame bigger, "My job is to teach you how to combat this darkness, to give you the tools necessary to vanquish our immortal foe. I'm letting you know right now, I am not a good man. I have made my share of mistakes, but with them I have learnt more about magic than even your dear old headmaster. Let what I teach you be a guiding light in times of peril. Now turn to page 10 of Sonnets of a Sorcerer, and read through to page 34"

He extinguished the fire in a sudden close of his hand, and sat back down into his seat, and picked up his cigarette.

"Well what are you all waiting for? Go on then"

------------

I am The.Single.Biggest.Procrastinator. IN THE WORLD. I SHOULD be studying for the three tests I have tomorrow, but noooo I have to write a HP fanfic :/ Oh, BTW, finished page one of Superman vs the Great Sandwich Gods as well.

[Oversleep]

How about Dresden teaching Defence against Dark Arts?

I just realized that abbreviation is DADA. Interesting...

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

I just noticed that if you count all the shards in 17 (9), as well as the T, H , S, H, A, R, D and the shard in the background, they are 17.

I don't think it's a happy coincidence.

[soyperson]

41 minutes ago, Oversleep said:

How about Dresden teaching Defence against Dark Arts?

I just realized that abbreviation is DADA. Interesting...

Steve Carlsberg teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts.

[DreamLord_Erith he/him]

9 hours ago, Eki said:

Weeeell... It's generally a good idea to put huge lists of images in spoiler tags, so they don't take up so much space for people who want to scroll past them. Otherwise, there is nothing wrong with pug pictures.

 I tried to get it all into a spoiler tag but the pics were being too darn uncooperative.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Finally, a political ad we can all get behind. 

Spoiler

 

 

[Delightful]

14 hours ago, Eki said:

Weeeell... It's generally a good idea to put huge lists of images in spoiler tags, so they don't take up so much space for people who want to scroll past them. Otherwise, there is nothing wrong with pug pictures.

Exactly 

5 hours ago, Darkness Ascendant said:

I just noticed that if you count all the shards in 17 (9), as well as the T, H , S, H, A, R, D and the shard in the background, they are 17.

I don't think it's a happy coincidence.

?

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Fanfic. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship SansSparkles. Her mission: To write good stories. To update frequently. To boldly go where no writer has gone before.

[The Honor Spren she/her]

One time, a guy named my legs Wilson.

[soyperson]

1 hour ago, The Honor Spren said:

One time, a guy named my legs Wilson.

I had to read this twice before the meaning sunk in and it stopped being absolute nonsense to my ADHD brain.

He named both of your legs Wilson? Or were your legs regarded as a singular entity?

[The Honor Spren she/her]

10 minutes ago, bleeder said:

I had to read this twice before the meaning sunk in and it stopped being absolute nonsense to my ADHD brain.

He named both of your legs Wilson? Or were your legs regarded as a singular entity?

 I think they were a single entity? It was pretty unclear, because everyone else in the room was too busy laughing and he was blushing, realizing what he had just said and there was glitter everywhere and I had painted hand prints on my legs, which is why he had dubbed them Wilson and . . . and . . . That is what happens at Odyssey of the Mind.

[soyperson]

Just now, The Honor Spren said:

 I think they were a single entity? It was pretty unclear, because everyone else in the room was too busy laughing and he was blushing, realizing what he had just said and there was glitter everywhere and I had painted hand prints on my legs, which is why he had dubbed them Wilson and . . . and . . . That is what happens at Odyssey of the Mind.

I think my sister did Odyssey of the Mind in elementary/middle school. I don't remember which. But she's in college now so that's long gone.

[+Slowswift he/him]

On 10/31/2016 at 3:36 PM, Delightful said:

Well now I have to ask, what song?

Closer by the Chainsmokers. I can't say I always approve of their lyrics but storms they can make one heck of an amazing track.

On 10/31/2016 at 4:16 PM, Mestiv said:

Please give my sympathies to your cow. It must be hard for her to live with such a stain on her honor. Other cows must be pointing hooves at her. 

Don't worry. The cow restored her honor by sneaking away in the middle of the night, joining the army, and saving her country.  

[Sunbird she/her]

6 hours ago, The Honor Spren said:

 I think they were a single entity? It was pretty unclear, because everyone else in the room was too busy laughing and he was blushing, realizing what he had just said and there was glitter everywhere and I had painted hand prints on my legs, which is why he had dubbed them Wilson and . . . and . . . That is what happens at Odyssey of the Mind.

I think I'm missing a joke here. The only Wilson-related reference I can think of is the volleyball from Cast Away, and that doesn't seem to have anything to do with handprints painted on legs...?

In other random news, I was sorting the mail at the library today and we received a magazine that smelled strongly of black pepper.

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

1 hour ago, Cognizantastic said:

Change is INCOMING, 17th Shard!

Some of you might remember me complaining about how a girl who plagiarized from me and has her mom write things for her won the ASB presidency unopposed. Well, I decided to do the best I can to ensure a better person is instated in office for my senior year. 

I have a friend in ASB who is extremely competent, passionate, and just good at what she does. She broke into ASB's elitist, exclusionary student base not for the Disneyland trips or other fun stuff — because she wants to be a political catalyst for change in school government, despite her disconnect with other ASB members (she has a different set of friends; most of the ASB high schoolers are like a herd). 

She's amazing, wants to run for the presidency, can pull it off, and I want her in office. So, I found a way to help. First, I wrote an email entitled Peer Endorsement Proposal and sent it to the principal, CEO, and two ASB advisors. Here's the text:

  Reveal hidden contents

To whom it may concern,

 

While considering the election system for ASB officers, I came up with an idea to disperse additional information about the candidates, increase student engagement in the electoral process, and generally add a new layer of dynamism to the procedure. Namely, I believe that a codified method of peer endorsement via speech should be integrated. I have outlined a list of the  basic aspects of my proposed system:

1. The peer endorsement system shall be limited to presidential candidates. While I would certainly be interested in expanding it, I do recognize and respect logistical constraints, particularly time. 
2. Each candidate may request a single individual to endorse them with a speech at the pre-election assembly, or a peer may come forward to the candidate and ask if they may do so.
3. If both parties agree, the endorser and their speech must be approved by administration. 
4. The speech must be five minutes or less.
5. The speech shall be limited in scope to discussing the given candidate’s merits as president, with no criticism of opposing individuals. I am acutely aware of how swiftly legitimate criticism may descend into tactless mudslinging and drama, particularly when high schoolers are involved.
6. The endorser's speech cannot be a mere reiteration of the candidate’s speech. Instead, the endorser will be expected to deliver a fresh, dynamic perspective on the candidate from their own eyes — those of a peer who goes to school alongside them daily. This is, after all, the primary goal of implementing peer endorsement. 

I am more than willing to meet with administration to further discuss the proposal, and eagerly anticipate any responses.

 

Regards,

Enrique [REDACTED]

The principal and both advisors told me that they wanted to do it the next day.  

 OK, this part is gonna sound arrogant... but I'm good at writing, rhetoric, and public speaking. To substantiate my claim: I won a $5000 dollar writing scholarship last year, spoke at a several-hundred-person person summit about managing potable water, represent the school to officials and new students, lead our school's mock trial team & Make-a-Wish, and some other things. This isn't intended to be pompous, just to show that I'm not deluded about myself.

So... I'm going to use these skills for her. I'm going to write and deliver a speech that shows my friend as the fantastic president she would be, or whatever else I can do to make the change that the school needs.

I'm excited! This is gonna be good. 

Justice.

[soyperson]

7 hours ago, Nightbird said:

I think I'm missing a joke here. The only Wilson-related reference I can think of is the volleyball from Cast Away, and that doesn't seem to have anything to do with handprints painted on legs...?

In other random news, I was sorting the mail at the library today and we received a magazine that smelled strongly of black pepper.

I don't think we're talking about Tom Hanks' volleyball friend, although he also had a handprint on him.

7 hours ago, Cognizantastic said:

Change is INCOMING, 17th Shard!

Some of you might remember me complaining about how a girl who plagiarized from me and has her mom write things for her won the ASB presidency unopposed. Well, I decided to do the best I can to ensure a better person is instated in office for my senior year. 

I have a friend in ASB who is extremely competent, passionate, and just good at what she does. She broke into ASB's elitist, exclusionary student base not for the Disneyland trips or other fun stuff — because she wants to be a political catalyst for change in school government, despite her disconnect with other ASB members (she has a different set of friends; most of the ASB high schoolers are like a herd). 

She's amazing, wants to run for the presidency, can pull it off, and I want her in office. So, I found a way to help. First, I wrote an email entitled Peer Endorsement Proposal and sent it to the principal, CEO, and two ASB advisors. Here's the text:

  Reveal hidden contents

To whom it may concern,

 

While considering the election system for ASB officers, I came up with an idea to disperse additional information about the candidates, increase student engagement in the electoral process, and generally add a new layer of dynamism to the procedure. Namely, I believe that a codified method of peer endorsement via speech should be integrated. I have outlined a list of the  basic aspects of my proposed system:

1. The peer endorsement system shall be limited to presidential candidates. While I would certainly be interested in expanding it, I do recognize and respect logistical constraints, particularly time. 
2. Each candidate may request a single individual to endorse them with a speech at the pre-election assembly, or a peer may come forward to the candidate and ask if they may do so.
3. If both parties agree, the endorser and their speech must be approved by administration. 
4. The speech must be five minutes or less.
5. The speech shall be limited in scope to discussing the given candidate’s merits as president, with no criticism of opposing individuals. I am acutely aware of how swiftly legitimate criticism may descend into tactless mudslinging and drama, particularly when high schoolers are involved.
6. The endorser's speech cannot be a mere reiteration of the candidate’s speech. Instead, the endorser will be expected to deliver a fresh, dynamic perspective on the candidate from their own eyes — those of a peer who goes to school alongside them daily. This is, after all, the primary goal of implementing peer endorsement. 

I am more than willing to meet with administration to further discuss the proposal, and eagerly anticipate any responses.

 

Regards,

Enrique [REDACTED]

The principal and both advisors told me that they wanted to do it the next day.  

 OK, this part is gonna sound arrogant... but I'm good at writing, rhetoric, and public speaking. To substantiate my claim: I won a $5000 dollar writing scholarship last year, spoke at a several-hundred-person person summit about managing potable water, represent the school to officials and new students, lead our school's mock trial team & Make-a-Wish, and some other things. This isn't intended to be pompous, just to show that I'm not deluded about myself.

So... I'm going to use these skills for her. I'm going to write and deliver a speech that shows my friend as the fantastic president she would be, or whatever else I can do to make the change that the school needs.

I'm excited! This is gonna be good. 

Awesome, Cog! Justice has been served. 

 

Also, have I ever mentioned my (probably unhealthily) massive, and not-unfounded mancrush on the bassist of my favorite band? 

Edited November 3, 2016 by bleeder