The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[NameIess]

Everyone’s future best friend appeared, then disappeared quickly.

[Through The Living Glass she/her]

Someone new walked in. "Hello, I think?"

Edited May 15 by Through The Living Glass

[NameIess]

Someone old walked in shortly after the new person. "Hello indeed. You're new here? Watch out for pineapples."

[Immortal Platypus]

SUDDENLY, Pineapples.

[NameIess]

The tsunami of fruit was quite deadly to the inexperienced.

[Faerie Braids she/her]

Sadly, the the inexperienced's death orphaned their three children, The inexperienced, the Inexperienced, and The Inexperienced (All personified).

Edited May 16 by Faerie Braids

[NameIess]

The Inexperienced was quite upset that she was always getting mixed up with her brother whenever one of their names was placed at the beginning of a sentence.

[Faerie Braids she/her]

To prevent this, the Inexperienced, abused her powers as the eldest child, officially changing the trio's names to ti, tI, and TI. This made TI mad, as he had enjoyed the mischief caused by this confusion.

[Sequence she/they]

On 5/14/2024 at 11:24 AM, NameIess said:

Everyone’s future best friend appeared, then disappeared quickly.

Everyone politely disagreed.

[NameIess]

1 minute ago, Sequence said:

Everyone politely disagreed.

This was understandable, as Everyone had yet to meet said future best friend.

[Immortal Platypus]

44 minutes ago, NameIess said:

This was understandable, as Everyone had yet to meet said future best friend.

Hacob didn't understand it. Everyone was never polite.

[NameIess]

14 minutes ago, Immortal Platypus said:

Hacob didn't understand it. Everyone was never polite.

Regardless, by the laws of stuff, everyone (including Everyone) will eventually get a friend.

[Ancient Elantrian he/him]

The Once-Author did stuff. And made sure everyone would never get a friend, just to prove someone wrong.

[NameIess]

This was either impossible or completely possible, depending on your theory of time-travel continuity.

[Lunamor she/her]

Or, if you were Schrödinger, both possible and impossible until you bothered to put effort into really thinking it over.

[NameIess]

Schrödinger was always making things more complicated than they should be. It was so unfair that the universe happened to agree with his theories.

[Vyzkel Willbender he/him]

Because of all the trouble that Schrödinger caused, his cat became omnipotent and was able to do both the impossible and the possible all at once, as long as you don’t look at him.

Edited May 19 by Vyzkel Willbender

[NameIess]

To solve this weakness, the cat immediately made itself invisible.

[Vyzkel Willbender he/him]

The cat, now not being able to be processed as anything, no becomes everything and nothing all at once. This impossibility rips holes through the fabric of space, therefore inventing black holes.

[NameIess]

(For the seventeenth time this month)

[BlueWildRye he/him]

The 631st time this year. And it's not even the cat's birthday yet!

[Immortal Platypus]

Platypus' Author tried to remember what page Thaidakar's Author's post was on.

EDIT: He found it.

 

  

On 4/24/2024 at 2:17 PM, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

Does anyone have a complete list of the plot blades? I need it for a random idea I had just now.

Platypus succeeded. That was, in making his hand hurt.

Somewhere in the multiverse, Balance was rolling on the ground in laughter.

Thaidakar lifted the sword, more confused than ever, yet he didn't attempt to show it. He held the sword clumsily and even almost dropped it. "This is all a lot for me to take in," Thaidakar said.

Platypus punched the door again. And again. And again. I will get this freaking door down.

--

"I would expect that. It was an adventure for me. However, there isn't too much time to train, so you're going to have to do exactly as I say. Step one. Hold the blade right." Hacob stepped forward and adjusted Thaidakar's grip. "That's how you have to hold it."

"Now I don't have time to teach you all the ways to attack and defend yourself, so we're gonna hope you don't have to fight anyone too important and skilled until Platypus has time to train you later. We'll just learn the basics. This is a thrust."

Hacob performed a basic thrust.

"This is a block."

He showed Thaidakar a basic block.

"And this is what you'll actually use."

He handed him a gadget. 

"Just press that button, it'll probably get you out of the situation you get into. But remember how to use that sword too."

On 4/19/2024 at 3:19 PM, NameIess said:

"Well, Nameless' Author did not make his characters in that way. If he perished, so would his characters, unless they were granted a connection to another Author or stabilized through a satisfactory ending before that death occurred."

Nameless' lawyer shook his head, then snapped his fingers, prompting his assistants to procure several more large stacks of papers.

"No, I did not base my argument off of Nowhere's paper. That one has no true understanding of Enullers. His papers on the subject of the Wall are all filled with faulty assumptions and shoddy calculations. No, I based my argument off of thousands of pages worth of scientific consensus from a multitude of notable authors. Nameless himself has written on the subject of the Enuller's containment, as well as Eobard, Jakal, Plethiztim, Morum, Xalna, and many others. Nameless himself concluded that even if every Narrator in TLT were to gather all of their strength and attempt to break out simultaneously, they would be unlikely to be successful. Such an event would be far more stressful on the Enuller's protections than merely containing an unruled mass of pure chaotic-light energy. On Platypus, the current apparent consensus (although I must say that it is difficult to find a consensus when many scientists still refuse to believe that what happened to Platypus is possible without Authorial intervention) is that he is not a Luxsprite, any more than he is a withergeist when in his chaotic-darkness form. He is something entirely new. Your argument about the prevalence of chaotic-light energy outside of TLT is technically correct, but the measurements used by the writers you mentioned are crude, and take into account the entirety of the universes outside of TLT. I have here several scholarly reports from those who have left TLT and returned, and they are conclusive. The vast majority of the Narratorial energy outside of TLT is safely contained inside of the substance of those worlds, and only a being of Narratorial power could get it out. What little free Narrative energy there is could perhaps make one into a full Narrator, but most of that is already contained inside of powerful or godlike beings that are not likely to give it up. Anyone can have large amounts of 'pull' towards Narrative energy, as you term it, and when separated from his power, Nameless would have been only slightly more dangerous than most. He would have had to kill multiple gods, without Narrative powers, in order to reclaim his full might. And if he had attempted such a feat, the Enullers would doubtless have had ample time to stop him before he completed it."

Nameless' lawyer paused for breath, accepting a cup of coffee from an aide.

"The paper was written by Frashier, not Frasier. Frashier is a relative newcomer to the field, but already quite promising."

He put down his cup, then continued.

"When did my Author admit this book was based on you? Its subject matter is that of a fanfiction centered around Subversion and Platypus. I don't see Platypus in here complaining, nor Subversion. Which is why I find it odd that there is a lengthy, detailed description of you awkwardly and obviously added into the book in a way that barely makes sense. As I said I cannot verify the accuracy of this book, but it seems to me that this description was added in by a third party. As for why you'd hold a grudge, well, who could say?" Nameless' lawyer paused, a sly grin tugging at the edge of his mouth. "You don't happen to have any prior history with Nameless' Author, do you?"

"Alright. I suppose I will cede this case. I still believe I am in the right, but I do not currently have the time to pursue these efforts longer. Fare thee well."

Edited May 20 by Immortal Platypus

[NameIess]

20 hours ago, Immortal Platypus said:

"Alright. I suppose I will cede this case. I still believe I am in the right, but I do not currently have the time to pursue these efforts longer. Fare thee well."

Nameless’ lawyer pasted a smile on his face as Hacob left. “Ah, excellent. My thanks to the court for hearing this case, even if the plaintiff did turn out to be wasting your time.”

inwardly, the lawyer was seething. Just a few more posts and he’d have been set for life, able to retire to some quiet corner of the thread and spend his days feasting upon the souls he’d gathered up throughout his long career. But no, this case just had to end now. For stupid reasons like an Author being busy, no doubt. Either that or some useless quest. Now he’d have to finish at least one more case, unless he wanted his retirement home to be without that thirtieth jacuzzi.

The lawyer sighed, then began packing up his things to go.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

A brief explanation of this. There were a lot of things that were gonna happen, but I accidentally deleted my outline, so we're getting this a lot sooner than I expected. TLT is the best. 

What happened next was neither recalled nor remembered, for something changed in TLT.

Sitting on the ledge of the cliff, a creature without name and without purpose, smiled as the sun crawled down into its bed.

It was done.

Corpses lay behind him. Two stood near to him, chatting faster than the wind. A sword was in the creature's hand. A Plotblade, broken by what had done. And, with it, the Prophesies were gone. As the wind that had once been, never to be seen again. No-one could be controlled! No-one's fate could be altered by someone's foreknowledge!

And, perhaps, on one rainy night, a father might be able to save his daughter when not restricted.

Brighton was fading, and with him was the last memory of what had begun so long ago... Eof probably would know, but perhaps not.

Finally, the two behind him ceased their arguments and one put a hand on Brighton's shoulder. Mythos found that his hand was rippling through misty shadows. 

Brighton turned, "This world is free. Free from what I have done, from what we all did. Thaidakar, Zara, prophecies.. they are gone. Balance is no more, Mythos. You will not become him."

Mythos quivered, "I... I'm..."

"You could've been," Brighton said with a smile. "Valerian, you were as a son to me. Goodbye." To Michael: "You are so similar to me. Stop yourself before it is too late."

And he was gone.

Michael left soon after, leaving TLT.

And Mythos? Mythos found himself in the study of Thaidakar's old mansion, sitting in the old chair. A thought rippled across his mind and he regarded it with a smile. Giving it voice, Mythos said, "I own the future."

"No," said an answering voice behind Mythos. There was a chuckle and a hand ruffling Mythos' hair. "Everyone (non personified) does now."

 

One Week Later.

Thaidakar stood and washed his eyes over the sun kissed landscape. It was done. It was finished. His computer sat on the ledge, the last few lines remaining to be written. Was this it? Was this the end? He had avoided telling the story, really telling it. Yet... yet this was the ending. He didn't want to end it. Didn't want to say goodbye. Didn't want to do the last page.

The curtain was drawing to its close and all the players had their final moments.

A motion from the conductor of the orchestra brought forth the final chords. Tension rose as the main actor, Thaidakar himself, raised his hands and sang his final ballad. A testament to his performance and what it had meant.

"And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all, and I stood tall
And did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside
I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way
Oh, no, oh, no, not me
I did it my way

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way."

[Immortal Platypus]

10 hours ago, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

A brief explanation of this. There were a lot of things that were gonna happen, but I accidentally deleted my outline, so we're getting this a lot sooner than I expected. TLT is the best. 

What happened next was neither recalled nor remembered, for something changed in TLT.

Sitting on the ledge of the cliff, a creature without name and without purpose, smiled as the sun crawled down into its bed.

It was done.

Corpses lay behind him. Two stood near to him, chatting faster than the wind. A sword was in the creature's hand. A Plotblade, broken by what had done. And, with it, the Prophesies were gone. As the wind that had once been, never to be seen again. No-one could be controlled! No-one's fate could be altered by someone's foreknowledge!

And, perhaps, on one rainy night, a father might be able to save his daughter when not restricted.

Brighton was fading, and with him was the last memory of what had begun so long ago... Eof probably would know, but perhaps not.

Finally, the two behind him ceased their arguments and one put a hand on Brighton's shoulder. Mythos found that his hand was rippling through misty shadows. 

Brighton turned, "This world is free. Free from what I have done, from what we all did. Thaidakar, Zara, prophecies.. they are gone. Balance is no more, Mythos. You will not become him."

Mythos quivered, "I... I'm..."

"You could've been," Brighton said with a smile. "Valerian, you were as a son to me. Goodbye." To Michael: "You are so similar to me. Stop yourself before it is too late."

And he was gone.

Michael left soon after, leaving TLT.

And Mythos? Mythos found himself in the study of Thaidakar's old mansion, sitting in the old chair. A thought rippled across his mind and he regarded it with a smile. Giving it voice, Mythos said, "I own the future."

"No," said an answering voice behind Mythos. There was a chuckle and a hand ruffling Mythos' hair. "Everyone (non personified) does now."

 

One Week Later.

Thaidakar stood and washed his eyes over the sun kissed landscape. It was done. It was finished. His computer sat on the ledge, the last few lines remaining to be written. Was this it? Was this the end? He had avoided telling the story, really telling it. Yet... yet this was the ending. He didn't want to end it. Didn't want to say goodbye. Didn't want to do the last page.

The curtain was drawing to its close and all the players had their final moments.

A motion from the conductor of the orchestra brought forth the final chords. Tension rose as the main actor, Thaidakar himself, raised his hands and sang his final ballad. A testament to his performance and what it had meant.

"And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all, and I stood tall
And did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside
I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way
Oh, no, oh, no, not me
I did it my way

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way."

The scene around Platypus faded. The door dissolved and Platypus sat on the ground in the arena where he had fought Subversion. He sat there, and he wept.

It's over. The end of an era. The time has come for him to depart. My time approaches.

He shuddered internally for a time, then he stopped shuddering. He stopped moving. He sat there, tears streaming down his face, for days. Weeks. Months. Time flowed around him, yet he didn't change. He was the same. He was Eternal. Often, immortality is not a blessing, but a curse. Years later, he rose. The world was a different place. Many had left in the time since he had joined. It was time to reset. The Era of Plot had died. There was one true way to begin then next era.

Suddenly, Pineapples.

And so it was that the next Age came and the Era of Randomness returned to TLT.

It's been a good ride Thaid. May your days be blessed and may you be sheltered from the worst storms in life by the Father's hand.

Edited May 27 by Immortal Platypus