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The Longest Thread (Misadventures)


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2 hours ago, The H said:

Yrank didn't even bother telling the Once-Author about one of the biggest rules in the factory; 'No running with sharp objects'.

The Once-Author accidentally stabbed himself in the foot as he ran with his sharp object. Now, instead of running away from goblins he was hopping away while making feeble pained squeaks.

This was definitely low on the Goblin-Chase rating system.

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45 minutes ago, xinoehp512 said:

While the universe waited for Wit to respond, Selppaenip reached the house of ... .

"I have defeated your enemy, as requested," he boomed. "I have come to learn how to be... average."

… sat still for a long time, unmoving. When he finally spoke, his voice was purely average. “Your training will be… difficult… you may not survive.”

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10 minutes ago, NameIess said:

… sat still for a long time, unmoving. When he finally spoke, his voice was purely average. “Your training will be… difficult… you may not survive.”

"Hah!" replied Selppaenip. "I'd like to see the challenge that could take me down."

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8 minutes ago, xinoehp512 said:

"Hah!" replied Selppaenip. "I'd like to see the challenge that could take me down."

“Very well. You first lesson is simple.” … handed Selppaenip a piece of paper and a mysterious bag. “This is my shopping list. Go get everything in it, and don’t cause a fuss.”

The shopping list read:

5 dozen eggs

13 pounds of sugar

7 potatoes

2 extra-large notebooks

9 small pineapples

16 candlesticks

a new shower head

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3 minutes ago, NameIess said:

“Very well. You first lesson is simple.” … handed Selppaenip a piece of paper and a mysterious bag. “This is my shopping list. Go get everything in it, and don’t cause a fuss.”

The shopping list read:

5 dozen eggs

13 pounds of sugar

7 potatoes

2 extra-large notebooks

9 small pineapples

16 candlesticks

a new shower head

"Very well," bloomed Selppaenip, taking the piece of paper and striding forth.

He went to the hardware store first. There he obtained the showerhead (as well as the 5 dozen eggs, stolen from a giant spider hiding in the plumbing isle).

Next, he went to an office supply store. There he obtained the 2 extra large notebooks (as well as the 16 candlesticks, recovered from a demonic summing ritual behind the printers).

The 7 potatoes and 13 pounds of sugar he purchased from the nearest Wal-Mart.

With his winnings safely stored in his bag, Selppaenip returned triumphantly to ...'s house. "I have completed your task, wise one."

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1 hour ago, xinoehp512 said:

"Very well," bloomed Selppaenip, taking the piece of paper and striding forth.

He went to the hardware store first. There he obtained the showerhead (as well as the 5 dozen eggs, stolen from a giant spider hiding in the plumbing isle).

Next, he went to an office supply store. There he obtained the 2 extra large notebooks (as well as the 16 candlesticks, recovered from a demonic summing ritual behind the printers).

The 7 potatoes and 13 pounds of sugar he purchased from the nearest Wal-Mart.

With his winnings safely stored in his bag, Selppaenip returned triumphantly to ...'s house. "I have completed your task, wise one."

… looked carefully through the bag. He paused, then, frowning, looked through it again. ”You have failed your task, young one.”

Reaching into the bag, he (with some difficulty) pulled forth the spider eggs, which were covered in white silky webbing. “How can I use these to cook? For all I know, these eggs are extremely poisonous, or perhaps they lay a curse on anyone who eats them.” Glancing into the bag, he shivered. “Also, I do believe one or two of them may have hatched in here.”

reaching into the bag again, … pulled forth the candlesticks. “These are entirely too gothic. Also, they glow with an almost demonic energy. Where on earth did you get them?” He shook his head, dropping the cursed candlesticks back into the bag.

”Of course, your most glaring failure is the missing pineapples. Why didn’t you get any? They are an essential ingredient in my renowned fruit salad.”

Edited by NameIess
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22 minutes ago, NameIess said:

… looked carefully through the bag. He paused, then, frowning, looked through it again. ”You have failed your task, young one.”

Reaching into the bag, he (with some difficulty) pulled forth the spider eggs, which were covered in white silky webbing. “How can I use these to cook? For all I know, these eggs are extremely poisonous, or perhaps they lay a curse on anyone who eats them.” Glancing into the bag, he shivered. “Also, I do believe one or two of them may have hatched in here.”

reaching into the bag again, … pulled forth the candlesticks. “These are entirely too gothic. Also, they glow with an almost demonic energy. Where on earth did you get them?” He shook his head, dropping the cursed candlesticks back into the bag.

”Of course, your most glaring failure is the missing pineapples. Why didn’t you get any? They are an essential ingredient in my renowned fruit salad.”

Selppaenip's eyes flared with bloodlust as he whipped out his katanas. "Pineapples? Where are the pineapples? They will perish on my blades!"

(He had certainly not scratched out the word pineapple on reflex when he read the shopping note. What a preposterous idea.:ph34r:)

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Nyks decided to try something she had never attempted, something she wasn't quite sure was possible. It wasn't possible until now when I thought about it. "Scrutator?" She asked. "Can you connect with Aero? He would be useful here, you know." She mentally tried to pull the boy in, feeling somewhat of a connection forming.

Before I take this any further and decide if she fails or succeeds, am I allowed to have more than one character? Or would I have to swap them?

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9 hours ago, reisleK said:

Nyks decided to try something she had never attempted, something she wasn't quite sure was possible. It wasn't possible until now when I thought about it. "Scrutator?" She asked. "Can you connect with Aero? He would be useful here, you know." She mentally tried to pull the boy in, feeling somewhat of a connection forming.

Before I take this any further and decide if she fails or succeeds, am I allowed to have more than one character? Or would I have to swap them?

there is very little that is not allowed in TLT. Godmodding is the only one that comes straight to mind

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On 9/12/2024 at 5:01 PM, xinoehp512 said:

"Right," muttered Nogard. "Wings. He has wings."

He braced himself against a rock in the ground as goblins bounced and wailed around him. 

Nogard glanced back and forth between the flying figure and the goblin leader, an idea forming.

"Hey!" he called. "Goblin Leader! What do you think about working together to take down him?"

He gestured to Falvan.

Thanks for waiting y'all. The Goblin leader paused. Then nodded. 

On 9/12/2024 at 10:12 PM, NameIess said:

The old man growled in frustration. “Whatever he’s done to my rabbits, I’ll make sure he pays. Pays in blood.”

Distracted by his loss, he did not see the spear in the Goblin leader’s hands, swinging an absentminded yet perfectly aimed blow with his staff directly for the large goblin’s head.

However his head never returned up from the nod when a large bonk of a staff knocked him unconscious, dropping the spear.

 

Falvan decided to change tactics. Somehow the Goblins were slowly eyeing him with killing stares. He didn't realize the muffins would change their loyalty so quickly. Falvan held his weapon, a clump of tangled metal above his head. 

Power shot through him, and he floated for a moment, his heads down, then he spun. All around the Goblins and the adventures rose a wall. It stopped rising at around thirty feet. The wall began moving in slowly. 

Yes, I like this whole thing. they barely escaped the last room. Falvan flew away, tired from his expenditure. They would be gone, and he would send Woe to make sure of it.

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9 minutes ago, xinoehp512 said:

Nogard sighed. Oh, well. Maybe the goblins would listen to him anyway?

"Hey everyone!" he called, pointing at the wall. "We need to work together to get through that! Or over it, or under it, or... well, we'll figure it out."

The wall closed in more. There was about fifty feet inside it now.

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17 hours ago, xinoehp512 said:

Selppaenip's eyes flared with bloodlust as he whipped out his katanas. "Pineapples? Where are the pineapples? They will perish on my blades!"

(He had certainly not scratched out the word pineapple on reflex when he read the shopping note. What a preposterous idea.:ph34r:)

... sighed. "I see. Perhaps I have underestimated your abnormality. Here is your next quest: Walk ten blocks down this street, then return."

4 hours ago, ΨιτιsτηεΒέsτ said:

Thanks for waiting y'all. The Goblin leader paused. Then nodded. 

However his head never returned up from the nod when a large bonk of a staff knocked him unconscious, dropping the spear.

 

Falvan decided to change tactics. Somehow the Goblins were slowly eyeing him with killing stares. He didn't realize the muffins would change their loyalty so quickly. Falvan held his weapon, a clump of tangled metal above his head. 

Power shot through him, and he floated for a moment, his heads down, then he spun. All around the Goblins and the adventures rose a wall. It stopped rising at around thirty feet. The wall began moving in slowly. 

Yes, I like this whole thing. they barely escaped the last room. Falvan flew away, tired from his expenditure. They would be gone, and he would send Woe to make sure of it.

The old man glared at the wall, but he knew he was doomed. Without my rabbits, there's little I can do. As the wall drew nearer, he bowed his head, resigning himself to his fate. I only wish I had an opportunity to spit in Woe's eye before I... Wait, is that-

Moving swiftly, he scooped up the spear and channeled its power, sending forth a call throughout the thread. COME TO ME, MY RABBITS!

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13 minutes ago, NameIess said:

... sighed. "I see. Perhaps I have underestimated your abnormality. Here is your next quest: Walk ten blocks down this street, then return."

The old man glared at the wall, but he knew he was doomed. Without my rabbits, there's little I can do. As the wall drew nearer, he bowed his head, resigning himself to his fate. I only wish I had an opportunity to spit in Woe's eye before I... Wait, is that-

Moving swiftly, he scooped up the spear and channeled its power, sending forth a call throughout the thread. COME TO ME, MY RABBITS!

Nogard looked around nervously as the ground began to rumble.

"Uh, Shoe? Have any more of those muffins?"

13 minutes ago, NameIess said:

... sighed. "I see. Perhaps I have underestimated your abnormality. Here is your next quest: Walk ten blocks down this street, then return."

Selppaenip bowed. "I have failed you once, great master. I will not do so again."

He strode confidently out into the street, walked ten blocks to the end, then returned (stopping along the way to tie up a band of attempted muggers).

"I have completed the task," Selppaenip announced.

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5 minutes ago, xinoehp512 said:

Nogard looked around nervously as the ground began to rumble.

"Uh, Shoe? Have any more of those muffins?"

Shoe got to the top and threw some muffins down to Nogard, who was hit in the face.

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22 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

Shoe got to the top and threw some muffins down to Nogard, who was hit in the face.

Nogard accidentally ate one of the muffins before coming to. Right. He followed Shoe's lead, clambering up the wall with sticky muffin handholds.

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27 minutes ago, xinoehp512 said:

Nogard looked around nervously as the ground began to rumble.

"Uh, Shoe? Have any more of those muffins?"

Selppaenip bowed. "I have failed you once, great master. I will not do so again."

He strode confidently out into the street, walked ten blocks to the end, then returned (stopping along the way to tie up a band of attempted muggers).

"I have completed the task," Selppaenip announced.

… sighed again. “Your case is worse than I feared. But not to worry, I had an even worse case of DtH than you back in the day. For your next task, come help me make dinner.”

… turned and walked into his house, expecting Selppaenip to follow.

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1 hour ago, NameIess said:

... sighed. "I see. Perhaps I have underestimated your abnormality. Here is your next quest: Walk ten blocks down this street, then return."

The old man glared at the wall, but he knew he was doomed. Without my rabbits, there's little I can do. As the wall drew nearer, he bowed his head, resigning himself to his fate. I only wish I had an opportunity to spit in Woe's eye before I... Wait, is that-

Moving swiftly, he scooped up the spear and channeled its power, sending forth a call throughout the thread. COME TO ME, MY RABBITS!

A loud rumbling grew closer... yes it is the rabbits

58 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

Shoe got to the top and threw some muffins down to Nogard, who was hit in the face.

The wall was now only thirty feet in diameter, goblins getting crushed.

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1 hour ago, NameIess said:

… sighed again. “Your case is worse than I feared. But not to worry, I had an even worse case of DtH than you back in the day. For your next task, come help me make dinner.”

… turned and walked into his house, expecting Selppaenip to follow.

Selppaenip frowned, following obediently. "DtH? What does this mean?"

52 minutes ago, ΨιτιsτηεΒέsτ said:

A loud rumbling grew closer... yes it is the rabbits

The wall was now only thirty feet in diameter, goblins getting crushed.

Nogard picked up the pace as best he could.

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