Fezzik Posted May 2, 2019 Report Share Posted May 2, 2019 Spoiler Welcome, Hoid to my city fair, Try not to blow too much hot air. While the world is ending, you pontificate, Refuse to elaborate, Unwilling to collaborate. What are your lasting creations? My elantrian sensations- Pottery, made from my own hands To bring beauty to my homeland Will last beyond my lifespan. And Gemmel- what is your legacy? I wish I could look and see, But you were a teacher, Measured by the killer You helped tutor. A tool of Ruin, manipulated Decieved by voices in your head Schizophrenic Prone to panic Appearance--just ick. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herowannabe he/him Posted May 6, 2019 Report Share Posted May 6, 2019 The results are in: The winner or Round 2, Match 2 is @Silva, representing Frost! The winner of Round 2, Match 3 is @I think I am here., representing Sja-Anat! Congrats to both of you! Also, voting for Round 2, Match 4 is now open! By way of reminder, our contestants are: Hoid, as voiced by @Paranoid King! Gemmel, as voiced by @Archer! and Taan/Aanden, as voiced by @John203! Vote vote vote! The poll will stay open for 48 hours (possibly more, if I can't get to it quickly enough) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zath he/him Posted May 6, 2019 Report Share Posted May 6, 2019 Congratulations, @Silva! @I think I am here., you have bested me with your skill. *bows head* Well done. Actually, it still kinda feels like a victory to me since you were representing Sja-anat, the character I'd originally picked. 17 hours ago, Herowannabe said: Also, voting for Round 2, Match 4 is now open! By way of reminder, our contestants are: Hoid, as voiced by @Paranoid King! Gemmel, as voiced by @Archer! and Taan/Aanden, as voiced by @John203! Storms, this is a difficult choice... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I think I am here. he/him Posted May 6, 2019 Report Share Posted May 6, 2019 17 hours ago, Herowannabe said: The results are in: The winner or Round 2, Match 2 is @Silva, representing Frost! The winner of Round 2, Match 3 is @I think I am here., representing Sja-Anat! Congrats Silva! And cool 19 minutes ago, Zath said: @I think I am here., you have bested me with your skill. *bows head* Well done. Actually, it still kinda feels like a victory to me since you were representing Sja-anat, the character I'd originally picked. We can say it’s a victory for both of us 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silva Posted May 6, 2019 Report Share Posted May 6, 2019 I have not been following this well enough. 15 minutes ago, I think I am here. said: Congrats Silva! Congrats to you too! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kidpen he/him Posted May 6, 2019 Report Share Posted May 6, 2019 1 hour ago, Zath said: Actually, it still kinda feels like a victory to me since you were representing Sja-anat, the character I'd originally picked. Darn, so I get to lose the most? Eh, Itiah deserves it. Nice job! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herowannabe he/him Posted May 13, 2019 Report Share Posted May 13, 2019 Alright everyone, welcome to the Semi-Final round of the Tournament of Champions! Congrats to our semi-finalists, who have proved their mettle in the last round by taking on the role of a character not their own! (Don't worry, for the rest of the Tournament you will be representing the character you signed up to represent) Entering the semi-final rounds we have: @I think I am here. representing Yomen Myself, representing Galladon @Paranoid King, representing Gemmel and @Silva, representing Yokska Thank you to all who have participated in this tournament so far, including: @hoiditthroughthegrapevine, @Zath, @Gray to, @Archer, @Felt, @AonEne, @Toaster Retribution, @Sorana, @Ark1002, @Kidpen, @John203, and @ILuvHats (hopefully I got everyone. If not, I'm sorry!). Before we begin the semi-final round, we have one last task for all of you. The twist for the semi-finals is going to be that each contestant will have a list of words that they are required to use and rhyme with in their roasts. We are calling on you- all of the previous contestants in the tournament- to offer up suggestions for required words. FYI the goal is to encourage and challenge the contestants creativity- not to try to trap them with words that can't be rhymed with. As such, any words deemed too difficult to rhyme with (eg: orange, purple, etc) as well as any inappropriate words will be rejected. You may offer as many suggestions as you'd like, though no guarantees that all of them will be used. We will try to use at least one suggested word from each person though. Here's the link. We'll give you 2 days to submit your suggestions and then we'll begin the semi-final round! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kidpen he/him Posted May 13, 2019 Report Share Posted May 13, 2019 Triangle. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archer he/him Posted May 13, 2019 Report Share Posted May 13, 2019 Avast! I have been bested. Well played, Paranoid King. You too, John203. Now that I’m out, I feel obliged to over-enthusiastically cheer for someone, whether they want me to or not. And since I’ve already gotten into the head-space of that crazy mistborn lad, I might as well root for him. So spread the news!: YEEHAW! I’m hopping on the Gemmel bandwagon. So, WOOOOOOOOO!!!!! RHYME THEIR FACES OFF, GEMGEM! Note: This doesn’t mean I won’t submit horribly difficult words that you'll be forced to rap with. You’re still going to have to rhyme with ‘marshmallow’. It fits too well with the whole ‘roasting’ theme not to submit it. But I will provide unhelpful "heartfelt" encouragement from the sidelines while you do so. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid King he/him Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 Well fought my dudes. Gemmel was left in good hands. Props to Taan as well, he's not an easy character to work with. High fives all around! Storms yeah! Gemmel is all about faceoffs! He'll face off anyone anytime! BTW, as a contestant, can I also submit words? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herowannabe he/him Posted May 15, 2019 Report Share Posted May 15, 2019 On 5/13/2019 at 10:53 PM, Paranoid King said: BTW, as a contestant, can I also submit words? I'm going to have to say no, just to keep things neat and clean. Sorry! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herowannabe he/him Posted May 20, 2019 Report Share Posted May 20, 2019 (edited) So... 2 days turned into 7. Whoops. But I'm here now, and we are officially beginning the Semi-Final Round of the Cosmere Rap Roast Battles Tournament of Champions! First off, thanks to everyone who submitted words for this round. I made sure everybody had at least one word who made it through, and for those who submitted multiple words I made sure at least 3 of their words. A special thanks to @Zath who submitted more words than anybody else (almost more than everybody else combined!), and also to @hoiditthroughthegrapevine, whose themed list of words amused me (I'll let you guys try to figure out what the theme was and which words were his. ;)) For the Semi-finals we have two 1v1 matches, but to keep things moving along we will be running them both at the same time. Each contestant will be randomly assigned 5 words from the required words list. As a reminder, you must not only use each of those 5 words in your roast, you must also rhyme with each of those words. Good luck! Match 1: @Paranoid King representing Gemmel! (Required words: Puppy, Yolish, Herald, Elocution, Cause) vs. @Herowannabe representing Galladon! (Required words: Ideal, Triangle, Thaylen/Thaylenah, Coffee Jelly, Novel) Match 2: @I think I am here. representing Yomen! (Required words: Dim-witted, Sharp, Turkish delight, Avalanche, Bundt cake) vs. @Silva representing Yokska! (Required words: Obfuscate, Allomancy/Allomancer, Fierce, Marshmallow, Sixteen You have 4 days (until end of the day Thursday) to submit your roasts. If you need more time or are unable to compete in this round, then please let us know. Good luck everyone! (EDIT: Also, please highlight your required words in your roast to make it easier to see which words you used and how you used them. Thanks!) Edited May 20, 2019 by Herowannabe 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archer he/him Posted May 20, 2019 Report Share Posted May 20, 2019 OH YEAH! Gemmelle Monáe is gonna crush the G division! (But good luck anyway, Herowannabe and those of you in the Y match.) I have a few theories about hoiditthroughthegrapevine's theme: 1. They're all potentially romantic words: Love triangle, puppy love, love bundt cake 2. Or words that when mispronounced make other, funnier words: herald (hurled!), obfuscate (officiate!), coffee jelly (covfefe!) But the most likely one is this, I think: 3. Words whose anagrams create a secret message when strung together: triangle (integral), cause (sauce), avalanche (can halve a), allomancy (loamy clan). I’m not sure how integral sauce can halve a loamy clan, but I feel much safer now that I know that. Thanks, hoiditthroughthegrapevine! 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AonEne he/him in an enby way Posted May 21, 2019 Report Share Posted May 21, 2019 (edited) 19 hours ago, Herowannabe said: I'll let you guys try to figure out what the theme was and which words were his. Coffee Jelly Marshmallow Bundt cake Turkish delight Sweet things? Spoiler I know I normally don't post on this thread out of shame, but I had to guess (Nobody's celebrating fifty pages? FIFTY, WOOO!) Edited May 21, 2019 by AonEne 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him Posted May 21, 2019 Report Share Posted May 21, 2019 20 hours ago, AonEne said: Sweet things? ON THE PROVERBIAL Spoiler AONENE, on the Spoiler It was actually a collection of "just desserts", but sweet things is a winner (you got the custom close up picture of my dog's nose as he is shaking off water award and an upvote for your oh so close guess. @Archer you got an upvote because it's a stroke of genius to realize that Allomancy is really just an anagram for a Loamy clan, don't know if you're a Malazan fan, but that's a perfect description of the T'lan Imass). Excited to see the raps from this coming round, this tournament and the signing updates are the few hooks still buried deep in my soul that keep pulling me back to the shard. And the Nightwatcher boon/bane game. And the fan art...so many hooks, so little soul... 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AonEne he/him in an enby way Posted May 22, 2019 Report Share Posted May 22, 2019 4 hours ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said: ON THE PROVERBIAL Hide contents AONENE, on the Hide contents It was actually a collection of "just desserts", but sweet things is a winner (you got the custom close up picture of my dog's nose as he is shaking off water award and an upvote for your oh so close guess. Yay! Also, your dog's adorable! I have upgraded my title appropriately, as clearly this is a huge honor. Sorry that I couldn't fit your whole name. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him Posted May 22, 2019 Report Share Posted May 22, 2019 3 hours ago, AonEne said: I have upgraded my title appropriately, as clearly this is a huge honor. Sorry that I couldn't fit your whole name. Never has this prestigious award been given to a more deserving candidate. Well done, AonEne, well done. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silva Posted May 23, 2019 Report Share Posted May 23, 2019 Well...the words are underlined. Spoiler The Lord Ruler is dead, Yomen, you misguided Allomancer, Get that fact into your bald head. No one nearby is a functioning necromancer. Being an Obligator may have brought up your ego, But tattooed skin that looks like moldy marshmallow Is still by all reasonable folks an attractiveness no-no. Besides, your head strongly resembles a tangelo.* Looks can be deceiving, Or so I’ve been told, But because of your bereaving, You just seem kind of old. It might be time for you to abdicate, Let go of your delusions, There’s no one else you can obfuscate. Collapse your little bubble illusion. Your beliefs are fierce, And while philosophy has no price, I doubt your head it does pierce. Just like those spikes you consider nice. You’re a Misting. You aren’t without ability. Yet your sole thing You treat like a liability. During that time as king in between, You had people spread a lie, That you could use all sixteen, And on that untruth you would to rely. I’m really just a measly clothing tailor, Not worthy of your expensive time, So simply know I’d hate to have you as my jailor, And on you, I don’t want to waste another rhyme. *No offense of any kind intended to tangelos 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid King he/him Posted May 23, 2019 Report Share Posted May 23, 2019 Nicely done, Silvia! I particularly like your necromancy jab. (Side note: Never before this contest did I think I would see Yomen compared to a Tangelo...) Anyways, looks like this contest is gonna push Gemmel out of his comfort zone. ...And into the other three mistborn eras! Ladies and Gentlemen, pick your poison. The Roughs: Spoiler Things had changed since my time in the cognitive realm. Horseless carriages careening through the streets, metal candles lining the city. No semblance of order – Even the mists seem to have retreated from the chaos. Everything’s faster, louder. The whole city’s in an uproar. But there’s one thing I didn’t miss – And that was the music. 0:30 Time’s a wasting, gotta face my rival, the New elantrian, battle For survival, the Scene is set, the stands are Piled high, I go to check my pack, refill my Roast supply, the Chosen announcer, a lauded herald, a distinguished man who is fine appareled, 1:00 Starts the contest, and I aim my gaze Across the field, the man appears ablaze With white fire glowing, almost light as yolish Notwithstanding, he seems rather slow-ish I make to down a vial, but he intervenes, “This is a roasting match, no need to cause a scene,” He’d struck the first blow, and I fell away, For this injustice, I would make him pay I’m practiced not in elocution, I am better far at execu-u-ution But stood my ground, balance now regained (I pretended that my mishap had been feigned) Searching round for roasts, a clean one caught my eye I said, “Your creativity’s in short supply!” “A surprise Raoden’s the man who led the cause,” “When you’re the one who should know farming laws” I was drowned by boos, as the crowd got uppity, It almost felt like I’d just kicked a puppy Shrugged my shoulders, and picked up my pack, “Once I find more rhymes, I’ll be back!” Went my way, into the setting sun, Felt so different outside Era One. Mistborn Modern Spoiler My name is Gemmel, I'm a mistborn pro, Praised for my power wherever I go. Voice in my head, my own personal herald Forces combined, and my skills are unparalleled. Prowess is unrivaled, and no others can compare, Surely there's no Dula man who can go flying through the air. Hide yo-self, the ruler of night is here, truly you're wise to fear (This is your chance to flee) If I had a say, you'd lose your way, become my prey, turn dark and grey, unknown today (Your fate's a mystery) TenSoon is known as a savage, (just a puppy) Eating from a dish, perhaps as weak as the Yolish, can't grant your wish, useless as fish (frail as a guppy) Dilaf, Hrathen, not a threat. With one hand, I'd win, I bet. Sel has been shattered, no help to the cause. Doom and destruction, the natural laws. Buoyed by two shards of Devotion, Dominion, Galladon's role is a glorified minion Barely a right-hand man, Sule here is just a sheep Leave him to his own devices, and he'll just wind up asleep. Prowess lacks, he's no famous warrior, a misplaced foreigner, (bought for a strip of meat) Never feel the thrill, he's always chill, best write your will, Can't eat your fill from roasting grill (enjoy the taste of defeat) Searching for food, no scholar (poor elocution) There is a simple charm to stay on farm, employ your arm away from harm, but feel alarm, (No food solution!) Must be jealous of my fork Every night I dine on pork You're just a farmer, good at planting seed. Well, for your story, that's all that you need. As for myself, well, the bar's been set high, (so!) With just a flick, I could topple you like a domino. Space Age Spoiler Captain’s log, stardate 063: 1:03 Lower engines, leaving warp speed System entered, crew has agreed Scan the system, find survivors Take some time to update drivers Power sensors, life detected Land on planet, crew objected Safe in orbit, there’s no telling Hostility surface dwelling Overruling, deny the wish, Can’t be half as bad as yolish, Complaint has no valid cause - Few men died to Nexu jaws. Engineer refuses travel Tension makes the crew unravel Words are heated, tempers flaring People have devolved to glaring Realize brass supply’s run hollow Can’t ensure that crew will follow Trust my skills in elocution To suppress the revolution Shoot a warning shot with phaser Realize ship is weak to laser Life supply is running double This keeps up, we’re in some trouble Power systems overloading Sirens fill me with foreboding Trust my instincts within reason Give up on suppressing treason To the lifeboat, finding shelter Crew is running helter skelter Pulling lever, separation Knocked off feet by detonation 2:07 Drifting Floating RuinGloating (Half time) Falling Sinking Time for Thinking (Normal speed) Surface 'landing' Barely Standing Brought to City Need no Pity Glowing People Center Steeple (half time) Lifesigns Fading Healer Aiding 2:55 Back to senses, check surrounding Recovery is astounding Out into the streets I barreled Everyone a glowing herald Check transceiver, won't turn on - Bowling over Galladon - Feeling like a missing pup "C'mon, Scotty, beam me up!" Feel a hand upon my shoulder, Could this man be any bolder?! Grab a vial, burning metal He's just grabbed a stinging nettle Tin to sharpen all my senses Pewter breaks through his defenses Steel to slam him through a wall - Iron like a wrecking ball - 3:27 Need to recover, find my crashed pod, Thought stranding captains had been outlawed Wreckage should have a strong transmitter, Hope engineer is not still bitter Speeding through badlands, Pass a red priest Push off his armor, towards the southeast Finding the wreckage, activation Wait for a response from space station ... ... ... 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zath he/him Posted May 23, 2019 Report Share Posted May 23, 2019 Well! Well, well, well! Words. Wow. The semi-finals are off to a great start! Nice one, @Silva! (tangelo-- such a great word.) Storms, @Paranoid King, that was fantastic! Loved it, especially the Mistborn Modern Era roast, it fit so perfectly to the song. (I did have some trouble matching your Roughs roast to the music. *shrugs* Still set the mood well, though.) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid King he/him Posted May 23, 2019 Report Share Posted May 23, 2019 50 minutes ago, Zath said: Storms, @Paranoid King, that was fantastic! Loved it, especially the Mistborn Modern Era roast, it fit so perfectly to the song. (I did have some trouble matching your Roughs roast to the music. *shrugs* Still set the mood well, though.) Thanks! I hoped the modern era would connect, because it pauses every 8th beat, but had no idea if any of the three would make sense to someone other than me. So this turned out way better than expected. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herowannabe he/him Posted May 24, 2019 Report Share Posted May 24, 2019 Well unfortunately I’m not done with my rap and I’m not going to have time to finish it tonight. I’ll do my best to have it up tomorrow. @I think I am here., how about you? How’s your roast coming? @Silva and @Paranoid King, thanks for getting your raps in. I haven’t read them yet, but I can’t wait too. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I think I am here. he/him Posted May 24, 2019 Report Share Posted May 24, 2019 54 minutes ago, Herowannabe said: how about you? How’s your roast coming? Well! Sorry for not submitting it now, I should probably have it in ~6 hours. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I think I am here. he/him Posted May 24, 2019 Report Share Posted May 24, 2019 Aha! Sorry for the double post, but it has been 6 hours and I have it ready! Words are underlined. Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up for the one, the only, semi-finalist of this very competition, the Last Obligator, or, as you better know him... ARADAN YOMEEEEEN! Spoiler Yomen here, rapping for the ‘Y’ section, Sorry Yokska, but you can’t beat perfection. But battling you makes me want to scream “objection!” All I need to roast you is your own reflection! In the book you’re described as “plump and short,” So wide you’d probably need beams for support. So small your raps aren’t worthy of me to retort. So full of flaws that they’re impossible to sort. Face it, miss, my roast’s gonna make you meet your maker, The last obligator against a single lowly tailor? It’s blasphemy! Why put a success against a failure? And we’re only just beginning, we’re in the first tranche, I’ll pummel you with roasts harder than a Selish avalanche! You’re idiotic and dumb, this ain’t even a fight, I’m exotic and fun, call me Turkish Delight. I could keep this diss going for all of tonight, But for your own sake, I’m gonna keep it light. (A one, a two, a one two three four) I was chosen by the mist, my raps are paramount, You were chosen to pad your book’s word count. My lines are wild, I have style, dog, You’re just expositional dialogue! Now even with foresight, I’m still on the fence. What’s worse? Your raps or your awful fashion sense? Without me, HOA wouldn’t have a happy end, Without you, Adolin’s hair wouldn’t fit the latest trend. ‘Cuz I’m the real deal, My actions have reactions. You should squeal and kneel, Your fashions are crashing. Can’t you see? You’re an NPC, I’m an MVP, You’re a sissy, I’m busy, Turning your raps to history. You must be hungry now, want a Bundt cake? Unlike your rhyming skills, it’s not abundantly fake! I mean, you’re as sharp as a harp and about as bright as the dark, And as round as a ball rolling through a ballpark. But enough with the fat-jokes, I don’t like being typical. Sort of like your bald joke, Wow, that was real original. Because looking at your stall, Frankly I’m appalled. Now I’m happy that I’m bald,, I never need to give you a call. ‘Cuz if I knew I’d be fighting a bore, I would’ve left at the door. ‘Cuz my roasts are an ocean, And there ain’t no shore. ‘Cuz my lines are a storm, And you can’t take more. ‘Cuz my rap’s a volcano, And it’s ‘bout to explode, yo! ‘Cuz your Yokska, fighting in the ‘Y’ bullpen, As in “Y do I have to rap against the great Yomen?” You’re too dim-witted to sing, too ill-fitted to rhyme, Now I’m done with this roast, so stop wasting my time. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid King he/him Posted May 24, 2019 Report Share Posted May 24, 2019 Nicely done, Itiah! Those roasts were smooth as butter. If not for the underlining, the special words wouldn't have seemed out of place at all. What a pleasure to read! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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