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Sharder One-Liners


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27 minutes ago, The Last Fæ said:

"I tend to form connections to things that don't exist..." - @shortcake about Haly
"I never really noticed you in the sense of humor" - @shortcake to @The Bookwyrm

Did @shortcake ever interact with her? 

@The Halcyon Girl @The Halcyon Girl @The Halcyon Girl

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2 hours ago, InfiniteInsanity said:

"Do you ever feel, Like a plastic bag, Drifting through the wind, Going to kill a man." - @TheGreatSnail or at least that's what I heard her say

46 minutes ago, TheGreatSnail said:

i said WANTING to kill a man but going is good too

uh... Snail? Do you need to talk about it?

 

Anyway...

"Dynamics are like drugs." -My teacher

"My mind went back to Russia." -The same teacheer

"We're going to Russia!" -my friend

"We're going to Brazil actually!" -the same friend, a couple minutes later

@Edema Ruh: *looks at results screen and practically starts crying*

Me: *reaches over* "It'll be okay." *looks at friend not on the Shard* "Wow, I never thought I'd be trying to comfort [Edema Ruh*]"

*where real name goes

Edited by Being of Cacophony
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6 minutes ago, The Last Fæ said:

You have no say in your crime:
"Some children die" - Person talking about MacBeth
"That's a big oof on their part" - @TheGreatSnail

YOU"LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!

Just now, Wittles of Shinovar said:

My friend: we need to put a marshmallow in the syringe

My other friend: Marshmallow abuse?

*gasp!* Blasphemy!!!!!!

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So this isn't rlly sharder related, but it happend today and was too funny not to post.

Spoiler

70ish yr old english sub: "You know you're old when you get excited about correcting grammar"

Kid 1: "Or maybe you're just special."

Sub, misinterpreting and genuinely sincere: "Thank you! That's very kind. I need to be told that once in a while. Thank you."

Me and two of my girl friends: *trying not to laugh so as not to hurt his feelings, so crying instead*

Kid 2 who also sits at our table: *blinks, snapping out of daze* *whisper hisses* "what?"

Us: *literally silently sob-laughing*

 

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6 hours ago, Ranryu said:

nope lol

I'm spoilering it b/c it's super long

Spoiler

 

"why are you floating?" - Me

 

Me: "This is Collin. *points to drawing* He is my child. His name is Collin and he is my child."

Person that isn't on the shard: "Can I steal him?"

Me: "NO! COLLIN IS MINE! *transfers into defensive stance AKA broken t-pose*"

 

"Because I'm not a plastic bag and I like my organs." - @The Bookwyrm*

Spoiler

*do written things count as quotes?

 

"Mm, gotta love them snake carcasses." - Me

 

Kid #1 in the class I TA for: "dont be a conformist, take your clothes off!"

Kid #2: "I'll only do it if you do it first!"

Kid #1: Thats exactly what a conformist would say! YOU ARE A SHEEP! TAKE OFF YOUR WOOL!!"

Kid #2: "NO! You're not my dad!"

Kid #3: "I mean, he ain't wrong-"

Kid #1: "I AM WELL AWARE THAT I AM NOT YOUR FATHER! I AM YOUR SHEPHERD!"

Teacher: "O-KAY! Anyways!"

 

"I heard you could hide a kabob-" - @TheGreatSnail

 

"Dad stop touching me." - Me

Spoiler

don't worry it's nothing weird, i call my friend "dad" as a platonic joke.

 

"You were trying to kill my manhood!!" - my friend during lunch today

 

"Oh, how the turns have tabled" - Snail

 

"I got glasses at an audiologist" - My brother

 

"Ah, French people." - Snail

 

"Great, now my face is flappy." - Me

 

"*laying on a chair* This is my home now. Just kidding, that's a log." - Snail

 

"He's giving me 'creepy guy at the end of the sidewalk' vibes." - Me

 

"Why couldn't your grandparents have been born in the 40s? I'm just saying, it's really inconvienient!" - My friend, talking to another friend

 

"Hey guys, look! I'm washing a giraffe!" - My grandma

 

 

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