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Sharder One-Liners


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WE GOT HALCY QUOTES!!!

“I have a sword. It’s long and metal and covered in pink stuff.”

“I’m good at hitting things on accident.”

“My whole life is a lie.”

“Sometimes I like people who are weird, and sometimes I don’t like people who are weird and would rather throttle them over the hump of a camel.”

“I’m good at breaking things.”

”Dragons with explosive dynamite in their bellies and then they swallow the fire in their fire pouches thingies and then they go boom.”

“I can think, therefor the world is not a simulation. I have solved the problem.”

“If I am a simulation then whoever made the simulation is cruel and mean and I will kill them one day. Do not doubt me. I am capable of killing anyone I want to.”

*reads* “how to contact yourself in a parallel reality, and, how to shift reality.” *laughs* “which one should I read next?”

@The Halcyon Girl

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Potato: *hits me*
me: are you clapping aggressively?

Potato: there’s a difference between clapping and slapping.

me: *outside leads her hand*
Potato *hits me harder* I’m tapping, I’m tapping!

And another one...

@Potato's Wit: Sandwich mitosis.

Me: Unlimited sandwiches! You eat one, and two more appear!

Potato: Just like Hydra!

Me: Hail Hydra!

Edited by Ranryu
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Me:"Blood..." *Raises hand*
@TheGreatSnail: "Don't be like Lady Macbeth. They were manipulative-"
Me: "I am."

@TheGreatSnail: "Please don't lose your mind, not in this economy"

Me: "Be gay, they're gonna pay"
@TheGreatSnail: "Taxes?"

@shortcake: "What's wrong with you"
Me: "Nothing."
Me: "Oh, wait, everything."

@The Bookwyrm: "If that means out the window what means to be hit by a fish?"
Me: "Cornobble."

Me: "I even know some Finnish."
@TheGreatSnail: "You have finished?"
Me: *Glares*

Edited by The Last Fæ
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@Ranryu, voice-searching on google: "Where can I buy a nuke?"

Ranryu: "You can buy anything on the Bulgarian black market, including [Bookwyrm]!"

Bookwyrm

Ranryu: "I dont want to buy you, i want to buy a nuke!"

 

"[Cellist] do you have a boiled shoe?" - me

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"Wizard is as southern as a not-southern person can get." - @Ranryu

"Kajsa---haud yer horses

ye've been spellin me name all willy-nilly!" - @Kajsa :)

"Aye, lad! And I'll stomp yer horse in the dirt, too, if ye don't haud yer wheesht!" - Kajsa

"He traded in Scottish for 16th century monk xD" - Kajsa

"Watch him get more 'Scottish' as I increase the pressure" - Ranryu

"I spent my first night home from the hospital in a drawer" - @Shining Silhouette

 

"Haha, I think we're safe as long as Wiz, Silho, and Archie don't jump out of the shadows :ph34r: - Kajsa

YOU RANG MADAM? - Wizard (I know him, he's me :P)

*jumps* - Kajsa

"AAH!" *whacks Wiz over the head with my hardcover Stellarlune* - Kajsa

 

"Giving me something good to read is like giving me candy :ph34r: :P" - Wizard

*ctrl save* - Kajsa

 

"the WHAT

*pulls out a massive claymore*

WHARE'S THE ALGEBRA???" - @Telrao

Edited by The Wandering Wizard
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1 minute ago, The Wandering Wizard said:

"Wizard is as southern as a not-southern person can get." - @Ranryu

"Kajsa---haud yer horses

ye've been spellin me name all willy-nilly!" - @Kajsa :)

"Aye, lad! And I'll stomp yer horse in the dirt, too, if ye don't haud yer wheesht!" - Kajsa

"He traded in Scottish for 16th century monk xD" - Kajsa

"Watch him get more 'Scottish' as I increase the pressure" - Ranryu

"I spent my first night home from the hospital in a drawer" - @Shining Silhouette

 

"Haha, I think we're safe as long as Wiz, Silho, and Archie don't jump out of the shadows :ph34r: - Kajsa

YOU RANG MADAM? - Wizard(I know him, he's me :P)

*jumps* - Kajsa

"AAH!" *whacks Wiz over the head with my hardcover Stellarlune* - Kajsa

 

"Giving me something good to read is like giving me candy :ph34r: :P" - Wizard

*ctrl save* - Kajsa

Heheheheh

These are arguably my best quotes

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Chickens aren't usually pack hunters. - a teacher

My character casts medicine. - My cousin

I forgot they were also hallucinogens, and didn't just taste like chicken. - A school friend

"aaaa, someone has stabbed me. - @demiblob

"What are your glasses for? Hearing?" - I don't remember who said this

"You kill them to maximize your profits? I always just keep them, because they're my friends." - I don't remember who said this either

"I have a child? When did that happen?" - A school friend when (context makes it funnier imo)

 
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler

he heard that his character (being played by Quarterfeather) was adopted as my cousin's character's father.

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44 minutes ago, Tani said:

Chickens aren't usually pack hunters. - a teacher

My character casts medicine. - My cousin

I forgot they were also hallucinogens, and didn't just taste like chicken. - A school friend

"aaaa, someone has stabbed me. - @demiblob

"What are your glasses for? Hearing?" - I don't remember who said this

"You kill them to maximize your profits? I always just keep them, because they're my friends." - I don't remember who said this either

"I have a child? When did that happen?" - A school friend when (context makes it funnier imo)

 
  Reveal hidden contents
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he heard that his character (being played by Quarterfeather) was adopted as my cousin's character's father.

ha ha ha.

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A rather nonlinear conversation by me, Wizard, Insa, Ranryu, and Wittles. Enjoy.

 

"Cats by nature are tangential" -- @The Wandering Wizard

"Define tangential" -- Kajsa

"I might have used the wrong word ... something that just well makes tangents when you talk about it xD" -Wizzy

"lol I still don't know what a tangent is.

"I googled it.

"But I think my brain cell count is too low to figure out what the words are trying to say." -- Kajsa

...

"no. No math tangents right now" -- @InfiniteInsanity

"Tornado watch until 11!" -- @Ranryu

"*nopes target attack*" -- @Wittles of Shinovar

"*nopes the nope*" -- Wizzy

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