The Wandering Wizard

Tears flow from the boy

Staining the bed

The pillow 

The cat

 

The boy weeps for the pain

The all consuming pain of a fallen world

Where everyone hurts

And keeps on hurting

Because so much is wrong with the world

 

And the boy wishes to fix it

To wrap everyone in darkness

at home alone

late at night

when the thoughts have the most power

He wants to be there

For them

For everyone 

To wrap them in a warm hug

And to hold them through their darkest nights

 

And so he cries

Because he can feel their pain

Feel it growing

Feeding their inner darkness especially

Threatening to choke them

 

He cries 

Sniffles

Blows his nose

And hugs the cat

 

Turning once again to God

He cries 

Barely able to form the words

Only able to think in raw pure emotion.

 

Everything else burned away

But raw pure emotion

And care

Flaring so bright 

 

He weeps even harder

As he remembers a phrase

And the one who knows his pain

Intimately

Personally 

Fully

And knows and loves him 

Along with all the others

 

The words come again

Be Still

And know that I am God

 

The wheels spin rapidly in the boys head

As understanding comes to him

Peace washes over him

Removing his worry

But leaving the care

Burning brighter than the sun

 

The boy lays on his bed after midnight

And smiles at the ceiling 

To the heavens above

Where a loving Father

Smiles down on all of his wonderful 

Beautiful 

Intelligent 

Loved

And Talented children 

His children

In the image of their father

Crowned with love and glory

There was a boy

Who thought he knew the greatest pain

Until he remembered

His Savior, Redeemer, and brother

Who suffered all the pain he would ever know

In three hours

And the suffering his friends felt

And the billions and possibly trillions of people

Who had ever lived on the earth

 

All their sadness

Pain

Suffering 

Sadness

Abuse 

Anger

Malice

Wounds

Death

He felt it all

 

He felt for the dying man who could hardly remember his wife's face

For the mother who died after seeing her firstborn for the first and only time

For the father as he lost his firstborn weeks after he lost his wife.

 

The sorrow overwhelming

It caused even him

The Son of God

To bleed from every pore

For the pain and suffering of every person

 

The boy wondered how he did it

How he survived the soul crushing grief

Loss

Pain

Suffering 

Of all people

 

Perhaps, the boy wondered 

He felt everything from everyone 

Both the good and the bad

Otherwise how could he know everyone intimately and personally 

To know how to perfectly love them and give them exactly what they needed 

Even if it wasn't what they wanted

 

He knows me, marveled the boy

He knows me perfectly 

And warmth blossomed in his chest

Spreading out to his fingers and toes

And he realized that the Savior knew this moment too

He knew each moment he breathed

Both good and bad

 

He suffered so that none would be alone, mused the boy

And the warmth returned again 

This time with a quiet peaceful voice

"Yes I did it my child because I love you. 

I love all of my children.

And I like you don’t want any of them to suffer in the dark alone.

I am always there

For you

And for them

I love you my child."

The sorrow of a father for his children is great 

Oh how much greater is the sorrow of a Heavenly Father

For us

His spirit children

 

He knows we suffer

He knows all of our pains and trials

Intimately and personally

But his love is far too great

To give us lesser things

 

So he watched with pain and love

As he sees us stumble and fall

Make mistakes Over And Over And Over Again

Watches us fall in inescapable darkness

The agency of others tormenting and twisting us

 

He lets us suffer because he loves us

He puts people in our lives to lift us up

To bond us with our pain and troubles

To build something beautiful 

Something grander and more wondrous than we could have known

 

He loves us so much that he can’t help us reach anything but our full potential 

As his spirit sons and daughters

All beautiful to his eyes

Wonderfully talented in so many unique and amazing ways

Each loved for just who they are

By a loving Father in Heaven