Silver Phantom

I am tired. Really tired. I am tired of trying everything I can and feeling like I am in the same place. I am tired of knowing that on some level I am lying to myself about doing everything I can. I am tired of looking around and see happy people when all I want to do is scream. I am tired of hanging out with friends and feeling good, truly feeling good and thinking to myself “maybe tonight will be different. Maybe tonight my mind wont wonder into the darkness.” I am tired of my mind wondering into the darkness anyway. I am tired of committing to stop procrastinating, actually stop procrastinating, feeling better about not procrastinating and doing the things I need to get down and the hobbies I love, and then going back to procrastinating. I am tired of not being happy with who I am, and yet feeling that I am so close to being who I want to be. I feel accomplished and proud of who i am. And yet there are those parts. The parts I am scared of. The parts that come out late at night, or when I miss a day of medication or when I get into an argument with someone who’s an idiot and I just want to scream. 

I am tired of being one step away from happiness 

Sorry about that but it’s been a ruff week. The main thing is that there has been a problem with my pharmacist so I went a few days with out my ADHD meds, and then right when I got that figured out there was another problem so I had to go a few day without my depression meds sooo… Things have been tuff.

But on the bright side I discover like my new favorite Pokemon and it has gotten me back into Pokemon after like 4 years of nothing. If y’all want to see a great Pokemon look up Tinkaton

also new Markiplier video