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Anguished_One

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Anguished_One last won the day on June 20

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About Anguished_One

  • Birthday January 22

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Profile Information

  • Member Title
    If pressure makes diamonds, how the hell am I still coal?
  • Pronouns
    she/her
  • Location
    With @SmilingPanda19 and @Part of The Narative in our Walmart dumpster
  • Interests
    I love books, books, books, Brandon Sanderson books, God, asking questions, my cats, my family, my friends, my house, buying expensive Stormlight Archive t shirts from Etsy, writing my own stories with my writing group ( aka my three best friends and me) making valiant attempts at writing romance, writing "juicy" scenes, avidly hating math, being socially awkward, drawing, memes, nightblood, singing songs from various musicals (HAMILTON! LES MIS!!! IN THE HEIGHTS! NEWSIES! THE GREATEST SHOWMAN!!) and movies, country music, gardening, animals, foreign cultures, the beach, the mountains, geeking out with my friends about all kinds of junk, eating gummy bears, exercising. POETRY! PHOTOGRAPHY!! PHILOSOPHY!! QUESTIONS!! ECONOMICS!! DEBATE! cOnSpIrAcY!!!!! oh, and did I mention reading? ( This is NOT in order of importance)

    *AHAHAHAHAHAHA* ~Hermes at all times

    IF YOU READ THIS YOU JUST LOST THE GAME!!!
    :DDD

    Quotes formerly in "Contact Methods":

    I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory; this is where it gets me, on my feet, the enemy ahead of me, if this is the end of me, at least I have a friend with me, weapon in my hand, a command, and my men with me. ~ Hamilton

    I don't think that anyone gets it So I don't wanna tell anybody what really goin' on in my head I just wanna be alone and listen to the music and let it tell me the way I need to feel So I don't think I'm defective ~ Hurt Myself, Ekoh

    I need a break from my brain From the doubt, from the stress, from the pain This anxiety is killing me and keeping me awake I need a break from my temper It's exhausting to live with the anger It weighs me down and it holds me back ~ Take Me Away, New Medicine


    I see you Crying in a gown that's blue Screaming through a breathing tube "How'd I get to this place?" I see you Wondering how you came unglued Feeling like your whole life's screwed "Who could love me this way?" ~ ICU, Citizen Soldier

    All my life I had to keep fighting And I'm a prove 'em wrong or I'm a die trying Head like a stone, heart like a lion I'm a prove 'em wrong or I'm a die trying ~ Die Trying, New Medicine

    Used to pull down my sleeves Used to put makeup on So everyone would think I'm fine and nothing's wrong I buried all the pain, used to feel so ashamed Of all the things I wrote about myself with razor blades ~ Tattoos Citizen, Soldier


    Broken legs, but I chase perfection These walls are my blank expression My mind is a home I'm trapped in And it's lonely inside this mansion ~ Mansion, NF

    THIS IS SO LONG WTC

    SONG THAT IS SO RELATABLE IT'S SCARY:
    I'm there when anyone needs me
    Just picking up broken pieces
    When you're shattered on the floor and you're bleeding
    I'll stay around, I'm not leaving
    Somehow I still don't belong
    I feel stupid when I talk
    Cause I can't tell if you're listening
    I need, I need, I need somebody
    More than just a
    Weight leaning on me
    Everyone opening up
    Bout their dark side
    What about mine?
    What about mine?
    Guess I'm an
    Outsider
    I keep it all on the inside
    Nobody sees it, silent when I cry
    Just throw everyone's issues on top of mine
    Worry bout both at the same time
    Somehow I still don't belong
    I feel stupid when I talk
    Cause I can't tell if you're listening
    I need, I need, I need somebody
    More than just a
    Weight leaning on me
    Everyone opening up
    Bout their dark side
    What about mine?
    What about mine?
    Guess I'm an
    Outsider
    I need, I need, I need somebody
    More than just a
    Weight leaning on me
    Everyone opening up
    Bout their dark side
    What about mine?
    What about mine?
    Guess I'm an
    Outsider
    ~ Outsider by Rachel Grae

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  1. Anguished_One

    Hello!

    I didn't fail school!

    I made it!

    And I went berry picking this morning!

    Spoiler

    IMG_7837.jpg.30330749ed7ebd8fabde450db67d977e.jpg

    Spoiler

    IMG_7820.jpg.9bcfcce6256c5881b612c2e99bb0b7c3.jpg

    IMG_7833.jpg.812d11fb50c4993620413fd0aedc5e04.jpg

    I wrote a thing last night:

    Spoiler
    I wish pretending away the pain
    Was a legitimate option.
     
    I wish saying “I’m fine.” Worked.
     
    I wish they made bandaids for
    Bullet holes,
    For broken hearts,
    Crushed spirits,
    Twisted minds…
     
    I wish that I knew how to heal the
    World.
     
    I wish I had a better way
    To fix things
    Than over apologizing for
    Everything.
     
    If I had the power to change
    Things,
    If I didn’t read so much in a single
    Word,
    Sentence,
    Body movement…
     
    If my mind didn’t assume the worst
    If I was stronger than my anxiety
     
    If I wasn’t so much,
    If I could learn how to be
    Without hurting so many,
     
    If I could shrink my emotions,
    Make them invisible,
    Not burden others with them,
    If I could hide,
    Have thicker walls…
     
    If I was less vulnerable.
    If I could hold myself together…
    If I had the right words,
    If I was less of a mistake.
     
    If I wasn’t so selfish,
    If I thought the world didn’t
    Revolve around me and my
    Stupid
    storming
    Insecurities
     
    If I had the strength
    To resist,
    To make something of myself
    To get a job
    Live up to expectations
     
    If I wasn’t a failure
    If the voices were quieter
     
    What if there was
    A bandaid for
    Self hatred?
     
    Something to cover it up,
    Hide it from view,
    Not let people see…
     
    I’m a failure.
     
    When there’s no one,
    I’m still here.
     
    I’m backsliding…
    Do I care?
    If this spiral
    Results in my death,
    Would that be
    So bad?
     
    I’m so tired.
     
    Tired of trying to fly.
    In my mind, to try and fly,
    You must first
    Find a cliff,
    And jump.
     
    If you die, then you know,
    You belong in the dirt.
    You don’t deserve to fly.
     
     
    A stranger.
     
     
     
     
    I thought I knew you.
     
    But even you
    Don’t deserve
    What I have
    To offer.
     
    I wouldn’t wish
    The burden of me
    And the wreck I am
    On my worst enemy,
    Much less you,
    My friend.
     
    I don't need an answer.
    Maybe, all I really needed,
    Was someone to hear
    A few more words.

    I also did some henna the other day

    Spoiler

    IMG_6193.jpg.35c5784873016a08cf1cda5c41ac3ed3.jpg

    Tis a good reminder.

    I'm gonna post the rest of the berry pics in the photography thread cause they're so aesthetic! 

     

    One Blood.

     

    ~Stick

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Just a Silvereye

      Just a Silvereye

      Mmmm... berries, delicious berries. Can I eat some?

      *adds hug*

    3. Silver Phantom

      Silver Phantom

      How many berries did you get?

    4. Anguished_One

      Anguished_One

      @Just a Silvereye- You may have some! *receives hug*

      @Silver Phantom- We got 6 quarts! :D It took us about half an hour to pick them all

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