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Just-A-Stick

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Just-A-Stick last won the day on August 4

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About Just-A-Stick

  • Birthday January 22

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  • Member Title
    I'm Panda's gorgeous dirt princess!! ^^
  • Pronouns
    she/her
  • Location
    With @SmilingPanda19 and @Part of The Narative in our Walmart dumpster
  • Interests
    I love books, books, books, Brandon Sanderson books, God, asking questions, my cats, my family, my friends, my house, buying expensive Stormlight Archive t shirts from Etsy, writing my own stories with my writing group ( aka my three best friends and me) making valiant attempts at writing romance, writing "juicy" scenes, avidly hating math, being socially awkward, drawing, memes, nightblood, singing songs from various musicals (HAMILTON! LES MIS!!! IN THE HEIGHTS! NEWSIES! THE GREATEST SHOWMAN!!) and movies, country music, gardening, animals, foreign cultures, the beach, the mountains, geeking out with my friends about all kinds of junk, eating gummy bears, exercising. POETRY! PHOTOGRAPHY!! PHILOSOPHY!! QUESTIONS!! ECONOMICS!! DEBATE! cOnSpIrAcY!!!!! oh, and did I mention reading? ( This is NOT in order of importance)

    *AHAHAHAHAHAHA* ~Hermes at all times

    IF YOU READ THIS YOU JUST LOST THE GAME!!!
    :DDD

    Quotes formerly in "Contact Methods":

    I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory; this is where it gets me, on my feet, the enemy ahead of me, if this is the end of me, at least I have a friend with me, weapon in my hand, a command, and my men with me. ~ Hamilton

    I don't think that anyone gets it So I don't wanna tell anybody what really goin' on in my head I just wanna be alone and listen to the music and let it tell me the way I need to feel So I don't think I'm defective ~ Hurt Myself, Ekoh

    I need a break from my brain From the doubt, from the stress, from the pain This anxiety is killing me and keeping me awake I need a break from my temper It's exhausting to live with the anger It weighs me down and it holds me back ~ Take Me Away, New Medicine


    I see you Crying in a gown that's blue Screaming through a breathing tube "How'd I get to this place?" I see you Wondering how you came unglued Feeling like your whole life's screwed "Who could love me this way?" ~ ICU, Citizen Soldier

    All my life I had to keep fighting And I'm a prove 'em wrong or I'm a die trying Head like a stone, heart like a lion I'm a prove 'em wrong or I'm a die trying ~ Die Trying, New Medicine

    Used to pull down my sleeves Used to put makeup on So everyone would think I'm fine and nothing's wrong I buried all the pain, used to feel so ashamed Of all the things I wrote about myself with razor blades ~ Tattoos Citizen, Soldier


    Broken legs, but I chase perfection These walls are my blank expression My mind is a home I'm trapped in And it's lonely inside this mansion ~ Mansion, NF

    THIS IS SO LONG WTC

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  1. Just-A-Stick

    Here are all the poems I wrote during my exile.

     

     

     

    Homeless

    Spoiler

    Homeless

     
     
    I see it.
    Their blank, hopeless stares
    The way they beg for anything
    I was once
    So hopeless
    Life was bleak.
    I worked hard
    To keep myself breathing
    I had my family
    To support me.
    Who do they have?
    No one.
    We turn a blind eye
    On their suffering
    And pain
    Their problems
    We try not to see.
    But why?
    Are they not people too?
    What’s the difference?
    A few dollars
    A roof over our heads
    Hope
    That’s the real difference.
    We know where
    Our next meal is coming from
    They do not.
    But
    We can help them
    Find themselves
    Pick themselves up
    Get back on their feet
    We can help them to stand
    Again
     
     
       ~ Stick   1-13-24

    Suicidal

    Spoiler

    Suicidal

     
    The thoughts
    Lurking
    Always there
    Ready to
    Snatch me away
    Break me down
    Steal my soul
    My breath
    My life
     
    There is no escape
    They follow me
    Down the
    Tortured
    Twisted
    Pathways
    In my head
    They hide
    But always
    Resurface
    And try again
     
    They always try again
     
    This is me
    This is how
    It feels
    To be
    Suicidal
     
    I can’t control
    My thoughts
    My urges
    The things
    That I think
    Need to happen
     
    “Take the pills”
    They whisper to me
    I hear the voices
    “Find the knife”
    I cannot escape
    “The rope! Yes!
    Use the rope!”
    I am drowning
    I can’t escape
    “Drowning? Yes! D r o w n.
    Escape? No. Never.”
    If I die
    Will my voices
    Leave me in peace?
    “Peace? When have we ever had that?”
    I don’t know
    “We never had it. It’s gone, out of reach to us.”
    But… no. We can find peace!
    “THE CAR! JUMP IN FRONT!
    NOW!”
    No!
    “You can’t face the world!
    Look at you!
    Who wants to see that?
    Good… hide under the blankets
    No air.
    Press them against your face…
    Good…. Good girl…”
    No! I need to stay!
    “Stay for who? No one wants to see you. Back under the blankets. NOW!”
     
    I believe the voices
    I don’t want to
    But
    I do
    They are taking over
    My entire
    Life
    “There is no life for you. End it now.”
     
    I am
    “Messed up? Unloved? Stupid? Dis-functional? Outcast? Alone? Unwanted? Better off dead.”
    Suicidal
     
    ~ Stick 1-12-24
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

    Thoughts

    Spoiler

    Thoughts

     
    My mind
    It races
    As fast
    As it can
     
    It jumps from
    Topic to
    Topic
    But only stays one one
     
    The thought,
    Always somewhere in my head
     
    “Kill yourself, you’re better off dead.”
     
    I try not to entertain this fantasy
    That I have,
     
    But it is taking over.
     
    My broken brain thinks
    Deep down
    That everything is better
    If we die.
     
    What is there to live for?
    The Shadow cares about nothing.
     
    These thoughts
    Will one day
    Be the death of me.
     
    Welcome to the funeral.
    She was killed
    By
    Her
    Own
    Thoughts.
     
    ~ Stick 1-17-24

    Love

    Spoiler

    Love

     
    We were created to love
    And yet… love causes so much
    Pain.
     
    I almost welcome the pain.
    But I don’t always want the love.
     
    Love is a fickle emotion. People say I’m loved, but I can’t believe them, for I do not feel.
    All I can feel is my heart, breaking inside me, the pain consuming my soul.
     
    Let the pain come.
    The Shadow can stand it.
     
    Shut out the love.
    You don’t deserve it.
    You can survive in your own
    Pitiful
    World
    Of
    Pain.
     
    ~ Stick 1-17-24

    Shadow

    Spoiler

    Shadow

     
    I am a shadow
    Of who I once was.
     
    A lonely, dark shadow.
     
    A shadow and
    A shell
    I can never be filed
    Like I used to be
    Never again
     
    I like being the Shadow
    I drift through my life
    Never caring
     
    Shadows cannot be hurt
    For they are nothing
     
    I am nothing
    And yet
    I still hurt
     
    If I just become the shadow
    Just a bit more
    I won’t be hurt anymore
    I can sink and
    Drown alone
     
    Drown
    Alone
    In
    My
    Shadow
     
    ~ Stick 1-17-24
     
     
     
     
     

    Frightened 

    Spoiler

    Frightened

     
    Every sound
    Every shadow
    Every yell
    Every clap
    Every laugh
    Every scream
    The noise
     
    The whispers
    In my ears
    Telling me
    To do things
     
    The shadows
    That only I
    Can see
    That lurk in the
    Corners
    Of my mind
     
    The people
    Who yell
    Who scream
    Who make the noises
    Who fight
    And get hurt
    Who sometimes
    Become the
    Shadows
     
    I am so frightened
    I cannot breathe
    My panic
    Forces the air
    From my body
     
    I’m shaking
    Yet I feel like I
    Can’t move
     
    I am weak
    I get scared
    I am nothing
    But
    A small child
    Who is
    Frightened
     
    ~ Stick 1-17-14

    Snowflake

    Spoiler

    Snowflake

     
    Tumbling,
    Twisting,
    Falling from the sky.
     
    The snowflakes
    Hit the ground
    And pile
    Into drifts.
     
    Fleecy,
    Delicate,
    Never alone,
     
    They dance
    Through the air
    To their own
    Song.
     
    The song of falling snow.
     
    The lonely sound
    Of the winter
    Wind
    Sighing through the trees
     
    Accompanying the
    song of falling snow.
     
    The cold melody
    Plays across the
    Frigid
    Winter night.
     
    The snowflake
    Is but a
    Tiny part
    Of the
    Symphony.
     
    And yet, without it,
    There would be
    No
    Music.
     
     
    ~ Stick 1-16-24

    Heartbreak

    Spoiler

    Heartbreak

     
    I miss my friends
    I’m lonely
    I want to be held
    I want to have my tears
    Wiped away
     
    The breaking of a heart
    Can happen anytime
    It can be good
    Or it can be bad
     
    God can mend our hearts
    He can fix our scars
    He can piece our lives
    together again
     
    We just have to
    Fling ourselves
    Our trust and entire
    Being
    Into his strong arms
     
    Only He can fix
    My-
    Our
    Heartbreak
     
    -Stick 1-15-24
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

    Story

    Spoiler

    Story

     
    I wish my life
    Was a story.
    I could make a
    Character
    To be me.
    I could fix her,
    Make her perfect,
    Happy, loved,
    Wanted.
     
    I wonder…
    How much would I add?
    What would I take away?
    What would she be like?
    Who are her friends?
    Who is her family?
    What does she like to do?
     
    Would she be
    Happy?
    Would she feel loved?
    Does she care about others?
    Does she love herself?
    Does she
    Bear the scars that
    I do?
     
    Does her mind work?
    Is she insane to?
    Is she worse off than me?
    Does she want to die?
    Is she lonely?
     
    Is she
    Somewhere inside me?
    Trapped
    By the walls around
    My heart?
     
    Is she alone?
    Did she ever
    Find love?
     
    Is she watching me
    Fail my life?
    From somewhere outside?
     
    Is she apart of me?
    Is she upset at me
    For ruining our life?
    For making the decisions we did?
    For hearing the voices?
    The voices that haunt us?
     
    What is wrong with her?
    Does she feel like I do?
    Like a failure?
    Or unworthy?
     
    Can she write better than me?
    Does she have more friends?
    Does she love herself?
     
    Is she okay, wherever she is?
    Is she a mess?
    Does she hear voices?
    Does she talk to herself?
    Do people think she’s crazy?
    Does she think she’s crazy?
    I think I’m crazy.
     
    Does she try to hide?
    Her feelings and emotions?
    Her scars…
    All the bad things-
    Or, are there none in her life?
     
    Is she happy, wherever she is?
    Does she know that
    It’s all a story?
     
    I wish
    I could be
    Her
    And living in a
    Story.
     
    - Stick 1-16-24

    Anyways... Let me know what you think, and... yeah, I'm back, guys! :D

     

    I'm watching the Greatest Showman just for fun, (its not as good as I remember)

    and I'm reading a very interesting book on Endovascular  Neurosurgery, so that's cool :P 

    I think what I missed most, is my friend, this guy -> :ph34r: 

    but, I CANT WAIT TO RP WITH EVERYBODY!!! :D 

    thanks for reading and caring,

     

    Love,

                 Stick ❤️ 

     

    ( @Shardwatcher01)

    1. Show previous comments  11 more
    2. Edema Rue

      Edema Rue

      *so many hugs*

      I love uuuu Stick

    3. Just-A-Stick

      Just-A-Stick

      ❤️ 

    4. Just a Silvereye

      Just a Silvereye

      *hugs*

      Welcome back! 

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