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Just-A-Stick

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Just-A-Stick last won the day on August 4

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About Just-A-Stick

  • Birthday January 22

Contact Methods

Profile Information

  • Member Title
    I'm Panda's gorgeous dirt princess!! ^^
  • Pronouns
    she/her
  • Location
    With @SmilingPanda19 and @Part of The Narative in our Walmart dumpster
  • Interests
    I love books, books, books, Brandon Sanderson books, God, asking questions, my cats, my family, my friends, my house, buying expensive Stormlight Archive t shirts from Etsy, writing my own stories with my writing group ( aka my three best friends and me) making valiant attempts at writing romance, writing "juicy" scenes, avidly hating math, being socially awkward, drawing, memes, nightblood, singing songs from various musicals (HAMILTON! LES MIS!!! IN THE HEIGHTS! NEWSIES! THE GREATEST SHOWMAN!!) and movies, country music, gardening, animals, foreign cultures, the beach, the mountains, geeking out with my friends about all kinds of junk, eating gummy bears, exercising. POETRY! PHOTOGRAPHY!! PHILOSOPHY!! QUESTIONS!! ECONOMICS!! DEBATE! cOnSpIrAcY!!!!! oh, and did I mention reading? ( This is NOT in order of importance)

    *AHAHAHAHAHAHA* ~Hermes at all times

    IF YOU READ THIS YOU JUST LOST THE GAME!!!
    :DDD

    Quotes formerly in "Contact Methods":

    I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory; this is where it gets me, on my feet, the enemy ahead of me, if this is the end of me, at least I have a friend with me, weapon in my hand, a command, and my men with me. ~ Hamilton

    I don't think that anyone gets it So I don't wanna tell anybody what really goin' on in my head I just wanna be alone and listen to the music and let it tell me the way I need to feel So I don't think I'm defective ~ Hurt Myself, Ekoh

    I need a break from my brain From the doubt, from the stress, from the pain This anxiety is killing me and keeping me awake I need a break from my temper It's exhausting to live with the anger It weighs me down and it holds me back ~ Take Me Away, New Medicine


    I see you Crying in a gown that's blue Screaming through a breathing tube "How'd I get to this place?" I see you Wondering how you came unglued Feeling like your whole life's screwed "Who could love me this way?" ~ ICU, Citizen Soldier

    All my life I had to keep fighting And I'm a prove 'em wrong or I'm a die trying Head like a stone, heart like a lion I'm a prove 'em wrong or I'm a die trying ~ Die Trying, New Medicine

    Used to pull down my sleeves Used to put makeup on So everyone would think I'm fine and nothing's wrong I buried all the pain, used to feel so ashamed Of all the things I wrote about myself with razor blades ~ Tattoos Citizen, Soldier


    Broken legs, but I chase perfection These walls are my blank expression My mind is a home I'm trapped in And it's lonely inside this mansion ~ Mansion, NF

    THIS IS SO LONG WTC

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  1. Toxic

    Spoiler

    Toxic

     
    I have toxic
    People
    In my life.
     
    I’m close to them.
    I love them.
    I don’t want to
    Leave them.
    I said I would never leave.
    I said that I was there for them.
     
    But
    I can only get
    Hurt so many times
    Before my trust is broken.
    Before the trauma
    Overtakes me.
     
    I need to leave.
    But I don’t want them
    Hurt like I have been.
    I don’t want to
    Put anyone else
    Through that pain.
     
    I love them.
    I promised.
    I want to be there
    But it hurts
     
    It hurts mentally,
    Emotionally,
    Once or twice,
    Physically.
     
    But I can’t leave,
    Right?
    Would they leave
    If the roles were reversed?
     
    Do I
    Even care
    Enough to leave?
    I welcome the pain.
    It feels right.
    I just don’t care.
     
    I feel toxic.
    I am so messed up.
    I make others worry,
    I make them uncomfortable,
    Upset,
    Stressed,
     
    What if
    I’m the toxic one?
    If they feel trapped?
    If I just let them go…
    If I just left,
    If I rebuilt
    All the walls
    Around my heart.
     
    If I went back
    To being alone.
    It’s what’s best
    For everyone,
    Right?
     
    They don’t need
    The toxic friend.
    They are hurt.
    They wish they could escape.
    But they don’t want to hurt me.
     
    I can stand the pain.
     
    My heart may break,
    But I can hide it.
    My life may crash,
    But I can loose myself and
    Not exist.
     
    I can close myself off
    From everyone
    And everything.
    That’s what’s best.
    For everyone.
     
    They have other friends.
    Ones who aren’t
    Toxic.
     
    I am the
    Toxic
    Friend
    And I’m
    Sorry.
     
    ~ Stick 1-25-24
     
     
     
     
     

    ( @Part Of The Narrative, @Shardwatcher01)

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