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Just-A-Stick

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Just-A-Stick last won the day on August 4

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About Just-A-Stick

  • Birthday January 22

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Profile Information

  • Member Title
    I'm Panda's gorgeous dirt princess!! ^^
  • Pronouns
    she/her
  • Location
    With @SmilingPanda19 and @Part of The Narative in our Walmart dumpster
  • Interests
    I love books, books, books, Brandon Sanderson books, God, asking questions, my cats, my family, my friends, my house, buying expensive Stormlight Archive t shirts from Etsy, writing my own stories with my writing group ( aka my three best friends and me) making valiant attempts at writing romance, writing "juicy" scenes, avidly hating math, being socially awkward, drawing, memes, nightblood, singing songs from various musicals (HAMILTON! LES MIS!!! IN THE HEIGHTS! NEWSIES! THE GREATEST SHOWMAN!!) and movies, country music, gardening, animals, foreign cultures, the beach, the mountains, geeking out with my friends about all kinds of junk, eating gummy bears, exercising. POETRY! PHOTOGRAPHY!! PHILOSOPHY!! QUESTIONS!! ECONOMICS!! DEBATE! cOnSpIrAcY!!!!! oh, and did I mention reading? ( This is NOT in order of importance)

    *AHAHAHAHAHAHA* ~Hermes at all times

    IF YOU READ THIS YOU JUST LOST THE GAME!!!
    :DDD

    Quotes formerly in "Contact Methods":

    I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory; this is where it gets me, on my feet, the enemy ahead of me, if this is the end of me, at least I have a friend with me, weapon in my hand, a command, and my men with me. ~ Hamilton

    I don't think that anyone gets it So I don't wanna tell anybody what really goin' on in my head I just wanna be alone and listen to the music and let it tell me the way I need to feel So I don't think I'm defective ~ Hurt Myself, Ekoh

    I need a break from my brain From the doubt, from the stress, from the pain This anxiety is killing me and keeping me awake I need a break from my temper It's exhausting to live with the anger It weighs me down and it holds me back ~ Take Me Away, New Medicine


    I see you Crying in a gown that's blue Screaming through a breathing tube "How'd I get to this place?" I see you Wondering how you came unglued Feeling like your whole life's screwed "Who could love me this way?" ~ ICU, Citizen Soldier

    All my life I had to keep fighting And I'm a prove 'em wrong or I'm a die trying Head like a stone, heart like a lion I'm a prove 'em wrong or I'm a die trying ~ Die Trying, New Medicine

    Used to pull down my sleeves Used to put makeup on So everyone would think I'm fine and nothing's wrong I buried all the pain, used to feel so ashamed Of all the things I wrote about myself with razor blades ~ Tattoos Citizen, Soldier


    Broken legs, but I chase perfection These walls are my blank expression My mind is a home I'm trapped in And it's lonely inside this mansion ~ Mansion, NF

    THIS IS SO LONG WTC

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  1. Just-A-Stick

    Poetry Dump!

    :) 

     

     

    Unstable

    Spoiler

    Unstable

     
    My mind rocks
    In the turbulent darkness
     
    It wavers on the brink
    Of a decision.
    A choice.
    A plan.
     
    I can’t continue.
    Everything hurts.
    Breathing is too much work.
     
    I’m drowning under all these
    Things
    That I have to do
     
    I’m drifting,
    Lost in thought.
    I have a plan,
    I can just
    End it.
     
    I want it to happen
    I’m practically begging for it
    To happen.
     
    It’s just too much.
    I can’t.
    I’m so sorry,
    But I just can’t.
     
    Can’t cry,
    Can’t feel
    Anything but this desire.
     
    Why am I here?
    I hate this.
    All of it.
     
    This pitiful,
    Broken,
    Scarred
    Cage.
    I’m trapped in this cage.
     
    I know only one
    Way to escape.
    That’s to just
    End it.
     
    I’m so tired.
    All I want is rest.
    I’m sorry,
    But it will happen
    One day
     
    I want it to be today.
    I can’t face tomorrow.
    Another
    Day
    Of torture.
     
    Trapped in my cage,
    This stupid
    Empty
    Cage.
     
    The cage I can’t escape.
    The cage I hate.
    This cage won’t be here
    Forever.
     
    I’ll end my own suffering
    It’s only a matter of time.
    Till my unstable
    Mind
    Breaks
     
    I can’t wait
    I want it to be now
    I want to leave
     
    I’m dead inside,
    So why don’t I just
    Finish the job?
     
    That sounds
    Wonderful.
     
    I wonder
    Who will be the first
    One to find my
    Body?
     
    My dad?
    Brother?
    Sister?
    Will it be
    My mother?
    The one who
    Trapped me in here
    In the first place?
     
    They might
    Be devastated,
    But I’ll have found
    My peace.
     
    My friends
    Will mourn,
    But they’ll move on.
    They can find other friends.
    In time,
    They’ll move on.
     
    And I’ll be left,
    Ashes scattered
    Across barren land,
    Finally at peace
    Within.
     
    I’ll be free.
    I’ll float,
    Without my cage
    To hinder me.
     
    I’m saying goodbye.
    I’ll miss you,
    But this is what best.
     
    I’m sorry,
    But I can’t keep living in this
    Cage.
     
    I’ve tried to escape before,
    And I don’t know what’s stopped me
    I won’t be stopped again.
    I’m leaving.
     
    I’ve tried
    Cutting my way out
    Of this cage,
    But it didn’t work.
    I have scars,
    But it’s worth it
    To feel the pain
    Instead of emptiness.
     
    The emptiness of
    My cage.
     
    I would ask
    To be saved,
    But I want this
    Not a savior.
     
    I want the death
    The peace that
    Comes after.
     
    All I have to do is
    Stop breathing.
    I won’t be unstable anymore.
    I’ll be gone.
     
    I’ll be gone.
    I’m leaving.
    Goodbye,
    Friends,
    Family,
    I’ll miss you.
     
    But I’m just
    To
    Unstable.
     
     
    ~ Stick 2-7-24
     
     
     

    Scratches

    Spoiler

    Scratches

     
    They are
    Only scratches.
    Nothing more.
     
    They scar,
    They bleed,
    They hurt.
    But they
    Are only
    Scratches.
     
    And yet,
    I want them to
    Be more than
    Just scratches.
     
    I’m tired of scratches.
    I’m tired of drips
    Of blood.
     
    I want wounds.
    I want a river of
    Blood.
    I want it all to
    Go away,
    At the point of this
    Knife.
     
    I can picture it,
    I can start,
    But I can’t finish.
    I always fail.
     
    I always fail.
     
    I want to
    Add more scratches.
    Maybe,
    If I get enough,
    I’ll finally die.
     
    Death by scratches.
     
    ~ Stick 2-8-24

    I'm Sorry

    Spoiler

    I’m Sorry

     
    Dear friend,
    I’m so, so sorry.
    I’m sorry about last night.
     
    I’m sorry for the things I did,
    I’m sorry for the way I acted.
    I’m sorry for the way that I am.
     
    I’m sorry for my poor decisions
    After,
    I’m sorry for causing you
    Pain as well.
     
    I’m sorry for ruining
    What you gave me.
    I’m sorry for
    So many things.
     
    I’m sorry
    For the blood
    On your
    Sweatshirt.
     
    I’m sorry.
     
    ~ Stick 2-8-24

     

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Edema Rue

      Edema Rue

      💔❤️‍🩹

    3. Weaver of Lies

      Weaver of Lies

      *hugs hugs hugs*

      Eddie is much better at words than I am, but she’s right. It is absolutely worth it to stay alive. There really is hope, even though it can be nearly impossible to see. Keep breathing ❤️‍🩹

    4. shortcake

      shortcake

      Stick, promise you'll remember that you are loved, okay?

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