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Just-A-Stick

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Just-A-Stick last won the day on August 4

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About Just-A-Stick

  • Birthday January 22

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Profile Information

  • Member Title
    I'm Panda's gorgeous dirt princess!! ^^
  • Pronouns
    she/her
  • Location
    With @SmilingPanda19 and @Part of The Narative in our Walmart dumpster
  • Interests
    I love books, books, books, Brandon Sanderson books, God, asking questions, my cats, my family, my friends, my house, buying expensive Stormlight Archive t shirts from Etsy, writing my own stories with my writing group ( aka my three best friends and me) making valiant attempts at writing romance, writing "juicy" scenes, avidly hating math, being socially awkward, drawing, memes, nightblood, singing songs from various musicals (HAMILTON! LES MIS!!! IN THE HEIGHTS! NEWSIES! THE GREATEST SHOWMAN!!) and movies, country music, gardening, animals, foreign cultures, the beach, the mountains, geeking out with my friends about all kinds of junk, eating gummy bears, exercising. POETRY! PHOTOGRAPHY!! PHILOSOPHY!! QUESTIONS!! ECONOMICS!! DEBATE! cOnSpIrAcY!!!!! oh, and did I mention reading? ( This is NOT in order of importance)

    *AHAHAHAHAHAHA* ~Hermes at all times

    IF YOU READ THIS YOU JUST LOST THE GAME!!!
    :DDD

    Quotes formerly in "Contact Methods":

    I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory; this is where it gets me, on my feet, the enemy ahead of me, if this is the end of me, at least I have a friend with me, weapon in my hand, a command, and my men with me. ~ Hamilton

    I don't think that anyone gets it So I don't wanna tell anybody what really goin' on in my head I just wanna be alone and listen to the music and let it tell me the way I need to feel So I don't think I'm defective ~ Hurt Myself, Ekoh

    I need a break from my brain From the doubt, from the stress, from the pain This anxiety is killing me and keeping me awake I need a break from my temper It's exhausting to live with the anger It weighs me down and it holds me back ~ Take Me Away, New Medicine


    I see you Crying in a gown that's blue Screaming through a breathing tube "How'd I get to this place?" I see you Wondering how you came unglued Feeling like your whole life's screwed "Who could love me this way?" ~ ICU, Citizen Soldier

    All my life I had to keep fighting And I'm a prove 'em wrong or I'm a die trying Head like a stone, heart like a lion I'm a prove 'em wrong or I'm a die trying ~ Die Trying, New Medicine

    Used to pull down my sleeves Used to put makeup on So everyone would think I'm fine and nothing's wrong I buried all the pain, used to feel so ashamed Of all the things I wrote about myself with razor blades ~ Tattoos Citizen, Soldier


    Broken legs, but I chase perfection These walls are my blank expression My mind is a home I'm trapped in And it's lonely inside this mansion ~ Mansion, NF

    THIS IS SO LONG WTC

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  1. Just-A-Stick

    Poem

    Spoiler

    Identity

     
    “You’d be nothing without her, you know?”
     
    Yeah, I know…
     
    “You’re lucky she’s your friend, or you’d still have no style.”
     
    Yeah… very lucky…
     
    “You’re just trying to be like her.”
     
    I know…
     
     
    “You’re such a good writer!
    You’re so pretty!
    You’re so kind!
    So gentle!
    You’re a good person.”
     
    Is that really who I am?
    Or am I just the one
    Who stumbles along,
    Stealing pieces of
    Other people and
    Calling them mine.
     
    I pretend I know how to act
    Pretend I have a style
    Pretend I actually know what
    I’m doing
     
    Pretend I understand your jokes
    Because ignorance might make
    Me stupid
     
    I have no identity other than
    This mask
     
    My ever-shifting,
    Reflecting mask
    Turning tightly to keep
    The wounds inside
    And invisible
     
    But underneath,
    Inside,
    There’s just a lonely
    Shadow
    An emptiness
    A ghost,
    Watching the outside world,
    Trying to be normal
    Trying to fit in,
    Yet slowly realizing,
    She never actually has
    Anywhere.
     
    She’s scared to adopt any identity,
    Even the things she tells herself.
    Because, if her entire identity
    Is Worthless,
    Is there any hope at all?
     
    Does she have an identity
    Away from her insecurities?
     
    Who is she, if not Broken?
    If not Lost?
    If not Hurting?
    Scarred?
    Ugly?
    Fearful?
    A Liar?
    Stupid,
    Not good enough,
    Fat,
    A burden,
    Messed up,
    Abandoned,
    Selfish,
    A mistake,
    A shadow?
     
    Not fully dead,
    But not alive,
    Either.
     
    Halfway here,
    Halfway gone.
     
    A failure.
    A stranger.
    Different,
    Strange,
    Weird,
    Creepy…
     
    One who doesn’t fully belong
    Anywhere,
    So why is she still here?
     
    One who selfishly
    Needs to be needed,
    Who wishes that someone
    Expressed their love for her
    The way she does for others,
    Who’s clingy and scared,
    But supposed to be strong,
    Who’s covered in wounds,
    Some visible, some not,
    She loses herself in stories,
    Because maybe there,
    She can find herself.
    She won’t be such
    A burden,
    Such a mistake,
    So needy,
    Helpless.
     
    Even if she only finds
    A few fragments,
    It’s maybe better than
    Nothing.
    Because she,
    Is nothing.
     
     
    ~ Stick 6-18-24

     

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Just-A-Stick

      Just-A-Stick

      @Through The Living Glass- I do know, and it's very much appreciated ❤️‍🩹

      @Just a Silvereye- Thank you so much! (did you actually cry? :o.

    3. Just a Silvereye

      Just a Silvereye

      I was close to.

      And that's a lot, because for some reason, I never cry over media ever.

    4. Just-A-Stick

      Just-A-Stick

      Aww <33

      *big hugs*

       

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