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Just-A-Stick

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Status Updates posted by Just-A-Stick

  1. Just-A-Stick

    *SQUEALS* 

    LOOK AT THE CAAAKE!!!

    :D 

    Spoiler

    IMG_3303.thumb.jpg.017064d84e9b85134e784310f2b26cf9.jpg

    PURPLE!!!

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Edema Rue

      Edema Rue

      I LOVE IT I WANT TO EAT IT

    3. Robin Sedai

      Robin Sedai

      *whistles in admiration and also jealousy*

      PURPLE 😍💜

    4. Just a Silvereye

      Just a Silvereye

      So cool 😍

      Happy belated birthday btw

  2. Just-A-Stick

    POEM!

    Party

    Spoiler

    Party

     
    I am supposed to be
    Happy.
     
    It’s a party, right?
    Everyone is happy
    At a party.
     
    Not this person.
    I wish I could hide…
    Sit in the corner,
    Under my blanket,
    Back to the wall,
    Ignore everything,
    Ignore everyone,
    Lost
    In my
    Head.
     
    Thank you
    For the presents
    Thank you
    For coming
    But I need
    To be alone now.
    Goodbye
    Good night
    I’m leaving.
     
    I’m sorry.
    I know
    I’m supposed to
    Be the center
    Of attention.
    But I can’t
     
    I’m to busy
    Leaving the party.
     
    Goodbye,
    The party
    Is
    Over.
     
    ~ Stick 1-21-24

    ( @Shardwatcher01)

    1. Show previous comments  11 more
    2. Part Of The Narrative

      Part Of The Narrative

      Love you ❤️❤️ @Just-A-Stick

      thank you haha❤️ @The Wandering Wizard

    3. Robin Sedai

      Robin Sedai

      🎵 Fifteen years, fifteen million tears 🎵

      Thanks for sharing this Stick, it really got me in the feels. *offers tentative hug*

    4. Just-A-Stick

      Just-A-Stick

      @Robin Sedai

      You're welcome!

      <33

      *hugs back* 

      (I like da hugzez) 

  3. Just-A-Stick

    Love the new PFP

    :D 

    (as always) 

    :P 

     

    1. Edema Rue

      Edema Rue

      Aww, thank you :wub:

  4. Just-A-Stick

    GUYS!

    :D 

    My dad brought me BIRTHDAY FLOWERS!!!

    :D 

     

    I took a picture :P 

    Spoiler

    image0.jpeg.3f11c7446ba2a38b45772b9e2af367d9.jpeg

     

    1. The Wandering Wizard

      The Wandering Wizard

      *makes a note to bring flowers to daughters and wife when I have a family*

      YAY!!!!

  5. Just-A-Stick

    Hello, everyone! :) 

    Here are my sermon notes from this morning. ❤️ 

    Spoiler

    A prophet's job is to comfort the afflicted, and to afflict the comfortable.

     

    Three Reminders:

    1. God is in control.

    2. God rewards patience.

    3. This is not the end of the story.

     

    The way you spell hope. H-O-P-E

    Holding On, Praying Expectantly. 

    Anyway, I won again!    ^-^   that seems like a conspiracy, but whatever :P 

    But!

    I love you all, and hope you enjoy your Sunday!

     

    ❤️ 

    ~ Stick

    ( @Part Of The Narrative)

  6. Just-A-Stick

    HI GUYS!

    I forgot to thank y'all for the win yesterday :P

    I do still think there are more deserving humans out there, but, whatever I guess...

    I dyed my curtain bangs a lavender purpley color and it's making me absurdly happy... :D 

    There is like... nine inches of snow on the ground and that's making me happy...

    HAPPY is making me happy...

    How is everyone else?

    Anyone need to talk/vent?

    I'm here for you guys.

    I love you all!

    For the new people who might see this.

    Spoiler

    I'm not scary! :D 

    I may insist i am to try and scare away the humans who try to crush on me, but apparently i'm a very good therapist and apparently very cute when I'm angry? 

    Idk...

    But i'm a nice human, and can probably explain things.

     

    ANYWAYYYY

    I LOVE YOU ALL AND PLEASE PM ME IF I CAN DO LITERALLY ANYTHING FOR Y'ALLS!!! 

     

    ~ Stick ❤️ 

     

    ( @Part Of The Narrative)

  7. Just-A-Stick

    Guys!

    HAPPY

    by NF

    IS LITERALLY THE BEST AND I RELATE SO MUCH! 

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Weaver of Lies

      Weaver of Lies

      And it’s one of my favorites as well.

      *many hugs*

    3. Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      *all of the hugs*

    4. Just-A-Stick

      Just-A-Stick

      Thank you for the hugs, humans :) 

  8. Just-A-Stick

    Hey.

    We miss you.

    I miss you.

    We love you, and want you to come back.

    It's not my decision, but I can promise you, nobody on here hates you.

    I sure don't.

    Please don't leave.

    *hugs tightly*

    ~ Stick ❤️‍🩹

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      What? Why would anyone hate our friend! Shardwatcher, if you think people don’t like you, you are sorely mistaken. You are an awesome person.

    3. Weaver of Lies

      Weaver of Lies

      We do miss you Watcher, I hope you come back. You really are awesome.

    4. Just-A-Stick

      Just-A-Stick

      *group hug around @Shardwatcher01*

      Please come back...

      None of us have ever tired your pizza...

      🥺

  9. Just-A-Stick

    ALSO!!!

    I AM MAKING MY BIRTHDAY CAKE AND IT'S MAKING ME

    ABSURDLY HAPPY!! 

    :D 

     

    ITS CHOCOLATE!!! :D 

    1. The Wandering Wizard

      The Wandering Wizard

      YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    2. ΨιτιsτηεΒέsτ

      ΨιτιsτηεΒέsτ

      “Chocolate mends the soul.”

  10. Just-A-Stick

    Also, one more thing!

    Prayers are welcome for my older brother.

    He cut his finger and is going to get stitches at Urgent Care.

    ❤️‍🩹

    1. Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      Sending prayers!

    2. The Wandering Wizard

      The Wandering Wizard

      Will send them ❤️‍🩹

    3. Kajsa

      Kajsa

      oop that's no fun! I'm sorry to hear that; sending love and hugs!

  11. Just-A-Stick

    My poetry with @Part Of The Narrative (she told me I have to mention her in all SUs from here on out.)

     

    Okay

    Spoiler

    Okay

     
    I am not okay.
    I have tried so hard
    To be okay.
     
    For my family.
    For my friends.
    For the people who need me.
     
    But no more.
    I don’t have
    To be okay.
     
    I will heal.
    One day, I will be
    Okay.
     
    But that is not today.
    That might not be tomorrow.
    Or next week.
     
    I admit it.
    I’m not “fine”
    I’m not “good”
    I am broken
    But
    In the process
    Of healing.
     
    I am
    Perfectly
    Imperfect.
     
    That is okay,
    Even if
    I’m not.
     
    And that is okay.
    I’ll get there,
    One day.
     
    One day,
    I will
    Finally
    Be
    Okay.
     
    ~ Stick 1-19-24

    Save Me

    Spoiler

    Save me

     
    I stretch
    Out
    My arms
    And you
    Save
    Me.
     
    You save me.
     
    I don’t deserve
    To be
    Saved.
     
    But you
    You do it
    Anyway.
     
    You died for me.
    You bled and died for me
    For me
     
    How can I not
    Love who you
    Saved?
    Who you died for?
     
    It is a
    Decision.
     
    I decided
    Years ago
    To hate myself.
     
    And so I have.
     
    I have hated
    This beautiful,
    Scarred creature
    You call
    Your Daughter.
     
    No More.
     
    I am Strong
    I am Beautiful
    I am a Warrior
     
    I am Loved
    By myself.
     
    You saved me,
    So I am choosing
    Right here,
    Right now.
     
    I love myself.
    I love how You made me.
    I am Your handiwork.
    There is nothing wrong with me.
    I was made
    Exactly how I You chose.
     
    I am free
     
    Because you
     
    Saved me.
     
    ~ Stick 1-19-24
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

    Where My Thoughts Go

    Spoiler

    Where my thoughts go

     
     
     
     
    I want to go out
    And lay on the snow
    I want to forget I ever
    Learned to breathe
     
    I want to freeze
    All alone in the cold
    I want to die
    I want to fade away with no more pain
    I want to feel
    My body
    Slowly freezing
    Stiff
    And
    Cold
    And
    Dead
     
    It’s hard to laugh
    When you’re crying.
     
    It’s hard to react
    When you’re empty.
     
    It’s hard to feel safe
    When you’re scared.
     
    It’s hard to have hope
    When you’re hopeless.
     
    It’s hard to love
    With no pain.
     
    It’s hard to fly
    Without wings.
     
    It’s hard to pray
    Without words.
     
    It’s hard to think
    When you’re emotionless.
     
    It’s hard to hold
    When you’re breaking.
     
     
    The scars don’t define me
    The pain doesn’t define me
    My stupid brain doesn’t define me
     
    I want to die
    Without my thoughts
    Spiraling out of control
     
    I want peace
    I want nothingness
    I want to fade away
     
    I don’t want to exist
    I don’t want the feelings
    And emotions of something alive
     
    I want to know why
    My brain spirals
    Why it always
    Ends up in the
    Abyss
     
    I want to know why
    I can’t just be normal
    I can’t just stop shaking
    I can’t just stop crying
     
    I want to know why
    I’m a mess
    Why I hate myself
    Why I can’t trust
    Anyone
     
    I want to know why
    Your arms are out of reach
    I want to know
    The answers to my questions
    The pathway to my heart
    Around and through
    My walls
     
    Getting to my heart is a maze
    It feels
    Impossible
     
    I can’t feel the arms
    I can’t feel the pain
    The love
    Any of it
    I am numb
    I asked for this
    I made myself this way
    I deserve this
     
    I am
    A
    Numb
    Shadow
    Of
    Who
    I
    Once
    Was
     
    The lonely mist
    Surrounds me
    I can’t see
    I can’t breathe
    I can’t feel
    I can’t even scream
    Would I even want to?
     
    I’m scared
    Scared of change
    Scared of abandonment
    Scared of the shadow
    That I have become.
     
    Scared that I will never
    Be what I should be
    For everyone.
     
    This is where my mind goes.
     
    ~ Stick 1-19-24

    Blanket

    Spoiler

    Blanket

     
    Every time
    I go to the blanket
    Whenever I’m stressed
    I’m lonely
    I’m crying
    I hate myself
    I flee to my blanket
     
    I hide with my blanket
    It holds me
    When my friends
    Cannot
     
    Sometimes
    I go under the blanket
    Alone in the dark
    I cry
    I scream
    I claw at my skin
    I hate this thing
    Trapped in
     
    The air
    Isn’t under the blanket
    And I’m glad
    I don’t want the air
    Breathing is too hard
    It’s easier not to
     
    I wrap myself in this blanket
    I hide from the
    Cruel
    Cold
    World
     
    I have many blankets
    I have named them all
    All are suffocating
    In there own way
     
    I have a blanket
    Named Depression
     
    I have a blanket
    Named Anxiety
     
    I have a blanket
    Named Self- harm
     
    I have a blanket
    Named
    Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder
     
    I have a blanket
    Named Stress
     
    I have a blanket
    Named Suicidal
     
    I have a blanket
    Named Empty
     
    I sometimes hide under
    All my blanket-
    The emotional ones
    And the physical one.
     
    The good things
    Feel like
    Mist
    Instead of
    Blankets
     
    Not very easy to feel
    Especially
    Through
    My
    Blankets
     
    ~ Stick 1-19-24
     
     
     

    Hiding

    Spoiler

    Hiding

     
    This is my instinct
    In a bad
    Situation
    I have to hide
    No body wants to see
    Me
    So I hide
     
    I feel safe
    When I hide
     
    I feel lonely
    When I hide
     
    And yet
    I keep
    Going
    Back
    To
    My
    Hiding
     
    I press against the wall
    Smash myself into the corner
    On the floor
     
    “Go unnoticed.”
    “Make yourself small.”
    “Put up your hood.”
    “Nobody wants to see you.”
     
    I have to hide
    Right?
     
    This is normal
    Right?
     
    I talk to the voices
    The people who aren’t there
     
    I hold the
    Invisible hand
    But it feels real
    I can feel it
    But no one
    Else
    Can
     
    I’m not normal
    So
    I
    Hide
     
    I hide
     
    I hide
    Because
    I have
    To
    Hide
     
    ~ Stick 1-19-24

    Weakness

    Spoiler

    Weakness

     
     
    Weakness
    Vulnerability
     
    I have learned
    That without weakness
    I can never
    Be
    Strong.
     
    I need to be vulnerable
    Or nothing
    Feels
    Real.
     
    It is hard!
    There is a chance
    That you will get hurt.
    But which is worse?
    The numbness?
    Or the pain?
     
    You cannot
    Have
    Healing
    Without
    Pain.
     
    You cannot
    Have
    Strength
    Without
    Weakness.
     
    You cannot
    Have
    Joy
    Without
    Sadness.
     
    Look behind you.
    Look at the journey.
    Look how far we’ve come!
     
    He has been here
    For all of it.
     
    He has been guiding
    You
    Me
    All
    Of
    Us
    In his
    Own
    Special
    Way.
     
    Think very
    Very
    Hard.
     
    Open your heart.
     
    Can you feel him?
    In your moment of weakness?
    Can you feel
    His hand
    On your shoulder?
    Guiding you?
    Keeping you
    Close to
    Him?
     
    He is here
    Right now
    When you can hardly
    Breathe
    When the emptiness
    Tries to
    Eat you
    Alive
    When you
    Are lonely
    When pain is all you feel
    Give it to Him
    He already felt it all
    On a very
    Special
    Tree
    All those
    Tears
    Ago.
     
    He knows.
    He cares.
    He will take
    Your pain
    Your scars
    Your shame
    Your wounds
     
    All you have to do
    Is show
    Your
    Weakness.
     
    ~ Stick 1-19-24
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

    Those Nights

    Spoiler

    Weakness

     
     
    Weakness
    Vulnerability
     
    I have learned
    That without weakness
    I can never
    Be
    Strong.
     
    I need to be vulnerable
    Or nothing
    Feels
    Real.
     
    It is hard!
    There is a chance
    That you will get hurt.
    But which is worse?
    The numbness?
    Or the pain?
     
    You cannot
    Have
    Healing
    Without
    Pain.
     
    You cannot
    Have
    Strength
    Without
    Weakness.
     
    You cannot
    Have
    Joy
    Without
    Sadness.
     
    Look behind you.
    Look at the journey.
    Look how far we’ve come!
     
    He has been here
    For all of it.
     
    He has been guiding
    You
    Me
    All
    Of
    Us
    In his
    Own
    Special
    Way.
     
    Think very
    Very
    Hard.
     
    Open your heart.
     
    Can you feel him?
    In your moment of weakness?
    Can you feel
    His hand
    On your shoulder?
    Guiding you?
    Keeping you
    Close to
    Him?
     
    He is here
    Right now
    When you can hardly
    Breathe
    When the emptiness
    Tries to
    Eat you
    Alive
    When you
    Are lonely
    When pain is all you feel
    Give it to Him
    He already felt it all
    On a very
    Special
    Tree
    All those
    Tears
    Ago.
     
    He knows.
    He cares.
    He will take
    Your pain
    Your scars
    Your shame
    Your wounds
     
    All you have to do
    Is show
    Your
    Weakness.
     
    ~ Stick 1-19-24
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

    In other news... I tried Toblerone for the first time the other day and it's really good! :P 

     

    ( @Shardwatcher01)

    1. Show previous comments  8 more
    2. Faerie Braids

      Faerie Braids

      Sorry if I am intruding on something personal, but I just want to say that these poems are beautiful. I cried when reading some of these, because I knew the feelings contained in them so well. I guess I want to say...thank you? I feel less alone for having read these, and I want you to know that you are not alone either. I am here for you. We all are. 

       

       

    3. Just-A-Stick

      Just-A-Stick

      @Faerie Braids

      No, not at all!

      *all the hugs*

      I'm glad you like them.

      And, you're very welcome. 

      I'm glad that my writing helps/mends others.

      It's my greatest joy as an artist/writer to hear that my work is having an impact.

      I love ALL of you, and I don't know where I would be without all you wonderful people.

      I am glad that I'm not alone and that everyone is here for everyone.

      Thank you again, and... weelll... wanna be my shardbuddie? :P 

    4. Faerie Braids

      Faerie Braids

      I would love to be shardbuddies!

  12. Just-A-Stick

    GUYS!

    I CAN NOW SUM UP THAID!!!!

    Spoiler

    3z2zu6.jpg.012f6291320e6bc28b04b521034b1456.jpg

    *bows low*

    1. Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      XDDD

      Can confirm.

  13. Just-A-Stick

    Here are all the poems I wrote during my exile.

     

     

     

    Homeless

    Spoiler

    Homeless

     
     
    I see it.
    Their blank, hopeless stares
    The way they beg for anything
    I was once
    So hopeless
    Life was bleak.
    I worked hard
    To keep myself breathing
    I had my family
    To support me.
    Who do they have?
    No one.
    We turn a blind eye
    On their suffering
    And pain
    Their problems
    We try not to see.
    But why?
    Are they not people too?
    What’s the difference?
    A few dollars
    A roof over our heads
    Hope
    That’s the real difference.
    We know where
    Our next meal is coming from
    They do not.
    But
    We can help them
    Find themselves
    Pick themselves up
    Get back on their feet
    We can help them to stand
    Again
     
     
       ~ Stick   1-13-24

    Suicidal

    Spoiler

    Suicidal

     
    The thoughts
    Lurking
    Always there
    Ready to
    Snatch me away
    Break me down
    Steal my soul
    My breath
    My life
     
    There is no escape
    They follow me
    Down the
    Tortured
    Twisted
    Pathways
    In my head
    They hide
    But always
    Resurface
    And try again
     
    They always try again
     
    This is me
    This is how
    It feels
    To be
    Suicidal
     
    I can’t control
    My thoughts
    My urges
    The things
    That I think
    Need to happen
     
    “Take the pills”
    They whisper to me
    I hear the voices
    “Find the knife”
    I cannot escape
    “The rope! Yes!
    Use the rope!”
    I am drowning
    I can’t escape
    “Drowning? Yes! D r o w n.
    Escape? No. Never.”
    If I die
    Will my voices
    Leave me in peace?
    “Peace? When have we ever had that?”
    I don’t know
    “We never had it. It’s gone, out of reach to us.”
    But… no. We can find peace!
    “THE CAR! JUMP IN FRONT!
    NOW!”
    No!
    “You can’t face the world!
    Look at you!
    Who wants to see that?
    Good… hide under the blankets
    No air.
    Press them against your face…
    Good…. Good girl…”
    No! I need to stay!
    “Stay for who? No one wants to see you. Back under the blankets. NOW!”
     
    I believe the voices
    I don’t want to
    But
    I do
    They are taking over
    My entire
    Life
    “There is no life for you. End it now.”
     
    I am
    “Messed up? Unloved? Stupid? Dis-functional? Outcast? Alone? Unwanted? Better off dead.”
    Suicidal
     
    ~ Stick 1-12-24
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

    Thoughts

    Spoiler

    Thoughts

     
    My mind
    It races
    As fast
    As it can
     
    It jumps from
    Topic to
    Topic
    But only stays one one
     
    The thought,
    Always somewhere in my head
     
    “Kill yourself, you’re better off dead.”
     
    I try not to entertain this fantasy
    That I have,
     
    But it is taking over.
     
    My broken brain thinks
    Deep down
    That everything is better
    If we die.
     
    What is there to live for?
    The Shadow cares about nothing.
     
    These thoughts
    Will one day
    Be the death of me.
     
    Welcome to the funeral.
    She was killed
    By
    Her
    Own
    Thoughts.
     
    ~ Stick 1-17-24

    Love

    Spoiler

    Love

     
    We were created to love
    And yet… love causes so much
    Pain.
     
    I almost welcome the pain.
    But I don’t always want the love.
     
    Love is a fickle emotion. People say I’m loved, but I can’t believe them, for I do not feel.
    All I can feel is my heart, breaking inside me, the pain consuming my soul.
     
    Let the pain come.
    The Shadow can stand it.
     
    Shut out the love.
    You don’t deserve it.
    You can survive in your own
    Pitiful
    World
    Of
    Pain.
     
    ~ Stick 1-17-24

    Shadow

    Spoiler

    Shadow

     
    I am a shadow
    Of who I once was.
     
    A lonely, dark shadow.
     
    A shadow and
    A shell
    I can never be filed
    Like I used to be
    Never again
     
    I like being the Shadow
    I drift through my life
    Never caring
     
    Shadows cannot be hurt
    For they are nothing
     
    I am nothing
    And yet
    I still hurt
     
    If I just become the shadow
    Just a bit more
    I won’t be hurt anymore
    I can sink and
    Drown alone
     
    Drown
    Alone
    In
    My
    Shadow
     
    ~ Stick 1-17-24
     
     
     
     
     

    Frightened 

    Spoiler

    Frightened

     
    Every sound
    Every shadow
    Every yell
    Every clap
    Every laugh
    Every scream
    The noise
     
    The whispers
    In my ears
    Telling me
    To do things
     
    The shadows
    That only I
    Can see
    That lurk in the
    Corners
    Of my mind
     
    The people
    Who yell
    Who scream
    Who make the noises
    Who fight
    And get hurt
    Who sometimes
    Become the
    Shadows
     
    I am so frightened
    I cannot breathe
    My panic
    Forces the air
    From my body
     
    I’m shaking
    Yet I feel like I
    Can’t move
     
    I am weak
    I get scared
    I am nothing
    But
    A small child
    Who is
    Frightened
     
    ~ Stick 1-17-14

    Snowflake

    Spoiler

    Snowflake

     
    Tumbling,
    Twisting,
    Falling from the sky.
     
    The snowflakes
    Hit the ground
    And pile
    Into drifts.
     
    Fleecy,
    Delicate,
    Never alone,
     
    They dance
    Through the air
    To their own
    Song.
     
    The song of falling snow.
     
    The lonely sound
    Of the winter
    Wind
    Sighing through the trees
     
    Accompanying the
    song of falling snow.
     
    The cold melody
    Plays across the
    Frigid
    Winter night.
     
    The snowflake
    Is but a
    Tiny part
    Of the
    Symphony.
     
    And yet, without it,
    There would be
    No
    Music.
     
     
    ~ Stick 1-16-24

    Heartbreak

    Spoiler

    Heartbreak

     
    I miss my friends
    I’m lonely
    I want to be held
    I want to have my tears
    Wiped away
     
    The breaking of a heart
    Can happen anytime
    It can be good
    Or it can be bad
     
    God can mend our hearts
    He can fix our scars
    He can piece our lives
    together again
     
    We just have to
    Fling ourselves
    Our trust and entire
    Being
    Into his strong arms
     
    Only He can fix
    My-
    Our
    Heartbreak
     
    -Stick 1-15-24
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

    Story

    Spoiler

    Story

     
    I wish my life
    Was a story.
    I could make a
    Character
    To be me.
    I could fix her,
    Make her perfect,
    Happy, loved,
    Wanted.
     
    I wonder…
    How much would I add?
    What would I take away?
    What would she be like?
    Who are her friends?
    Who is her family?
    What does she like to do?
     
    Would she be
    Happy?
    Would she feel loved?
    Does she care about others?
    Does she love herself?
    Does she
    Bear the scars that
    I do?
     
    Does her mind work?
    Is she insane to?
    Is she worse off than me?
    Does she want to die?
    Is she lonely?
     
    Is she
    Somewhere inside me?
    Trapped
    By the walls around
    My heart?
     
    Is she alone?
    Did she ever
    Find love?
     
    Is she watching me
    Fail my life?
    From somewhere outside?
     
    Is she apart of me?
    Is she upset at me
    For ruining our life?
    For making the decisions we did?
    For hearing the voices?
    The voices that haunt us?
     
    What is wrong with her?
    Does she feel like I do?
    Like a failure?
    Or unworthy?
     
    Can she write better than me?
    Does she have more friends?
    Does she love herself?
     
    Is she okay, wherever she is?
    Is she a mess?
    Does she hear voices?
    Does she talk to herself?
    Do people think she’s crazy?
    Does she think she’s crazy?
    I think I’m crazy.
     
    Does she try to hide?
    Her feelings and emotions?
    Her scars…
    All the bad things-
    Or, are there none in her life?
     
    Is she happy, wherever she is?
    Does she know that
    It’s all a story?
     
    I wish
    I could be
    Her
    And living in a
    Story.
     
    - Stick 1-16-24

    Anyways... Let me know what you think, and... yeah, I'm back, guys! :D

     

    I'm watching the Greatest Showman just for fun, (its not as good as I remember)

    and I'm reading a very interesting book on Endovascular  Neurosurgery, so that's cool :P 

    I think what I missed most, is my friend, this guy -> :ph34r: 

    but, I CANT WAIT TO RP WITH EVERYBODY!!! :D 

    thanks for reading and caring,

     

    Love,

                 Stick ❤️ 

     

    ( @Shardwatcher01)

    1. Show previous comments  11 more
    2. Edema Rue

      Edema Rue

      *so many hugs*

      I love uuuu Stick

    3. Just-A-Stick

      Just-A-Stick

      ❤️ 

    4. Just a Silvereye

      Just a Silvereye

      *hugs*

      Welcome back! 

  14. Just-A-Stick

    2000!!!

    :D 

     

    1. Show previous comments  14 more
    2. The Paradoxical Phenomenon

      The Paradoxical Phenomenon

      Bet. I will take this responsibility with honor, and do my best to justify my keep of it

    3. Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      The only justification you'll ever need is backwards reasoning.

      That's what I had/have.

    4. The Paradoxical Phenomenon

      The Paradoxical Phenomenon

      lol yeah ik wym with the whole not having time thing

      feels like I’m out of the house more than in it sometimes 

  15. Just-A-Stick

    HAI HUMANS

    I WON AGAIN

    IT'S ALL @Shardwatcher01's FAULT!!!

    HE APPARENTLY LIKE GOOD RP ROMANCE

    ANYWAY....

    UMMM

    I'M MOSTLY ALIVE,

    IF VERY STRESSED BECAUSE

    I FORGOT HOW TO PUT ON BOOTS THIS MORNING....

    LOVE YOU ALLLLLL :P 

     

    1. The Wandering Wizard

      The Wandering Wizard

      LOVE YOU SIS ❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️

    2. Kajsa

      Kajsa

      LOVE U TOO STICKIE!!!

  16. Just-A-Stick

    I won the DAY! 

    THANK YOUUUU ❤️ 

     

    So, I went to church today, and had a few interesting sermon notes that I'll just put here :P 

    Spoiler

    "If you want to walk on water, you have to get out of the boat."

    I don't want to leave my boat. I was thinking about it, and my boat isn't healthy. It's hard for me to step out in faith. I need to trust God more. It's hard to believe that I can just infinitely trust him. 

     

    "Success is the act of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." ~ Winston Churchill

    This made me think... I always feel like I'm a failure. I have trouble finding enthusiasm for normal things nowadays...  It's something I'm praying for.

     

    God, I believe that there is a tiny seed of faith in my life. May you water it, and care for it, and grow it into something great for you.  

     

     

    Anyways... that's all for now ❤️ 

    LOVE YOU ALLL ❤️ 

     

    ~ STICK

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Just-A-Stick

      Just-A-Stick

      LOVE YOU TO! :P❤️ 

    3. Edema Rue

      Edema Rue

      LOVE YOU STICKY!!

      Those are beautiful ❤️ 

    4. Just-A-Stick

      Just-A-Stick

      ;) 

  17. Just-A-Stick

    “No longer certain that one ever does win a war, I am.”       

    ~ Yoda, The Clone Wars

    1. The Wandering Wizard

      The Wandering Wizard

      YES IS TRUE AND BEST QUOTE EVER!!!!!!

  18. Just-A-Stick

    ELAN

    IS

    FISH 

  19. Just-A-Stick

    Hi people! 

    ITS 

    ❄️SNOWING!❄️

    MY favorite thing to do in the snow is let my hair down and put on this white cloak that I made and stand barefoot in the snow and catch the snowflakes in my hair. It makes me feel like a beautiful woodland sprite.

    What about you wonderful people? What do you like to do?

     

    P.S. I was AI arting and here it is :P 

    Spoiler

    KLzipYmfWY6XuDXfNOtZ--1--027au.webp.cef89b2f7e66cee16f23c174dc159d99.webp5HBWV4I4SqOkCsVWNPAr--1--1fnyc.thumb.jpg.60ea9d9106a6cc95b8a97ff2e4dc0093.jpgVLmuJFR2eMQh38u70Qw2--1--cg6z7.webp.d1ed9035226b8bc0ec21d2ef4de4fd8c.webp

    Have a good day, and please reach out if you need anything ❤️ 

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Kajsa

      Kajsa

      It’s like kinda snowing here too! Right now everything is coated in a light dusting and it’s SO pretty! I pretty much do the same thing lol except I don’t have a white cloak 😭 a have a blue shirt with trumpet sleeves though and a corset and some pants that are like trouser-esque! I like going down to the woods with my sister and taking pictures :)

    3. Weaver of Lies

      Weaver of Lies

      It snowed yesterday, it was pretty fun.

    4. SmilingPanda19

      SmilingPanda19

      RAAA SNOOOOWWW

  20. Just-A-Stick

    HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAYYY ❤️ 

    :D 

    ❤️ 

    1. AonEne

      AonEne

      Thank you!!! 💖

  21. Just-A-Stick

    Guys.

    Someone needs to hear this.

    Please listen to this song.

    In Jesus Name By Katy Nicole.

    ❤️‍🩹

    I am praying this

    Over you, and yours.

    ~ Stick 

    1. Edema Rue

      Edema Rue

      Thank you, Stick ❤️

    2. Just-A-Stick

      Just-A-Stick

      You're welcome, Eddie. 

  22. Just-A-Stick

    You know, "ok" Is a funny word.

    adjective

     being satisfactory or in satisfactory condition

    “things are okay”

    And yet... we throw it around so carelessly...

    I would say that I can be ok sometimes.

    But, I also don't always feel In satisfactory condition.

    Are you Ok? 

    Spoiler

    I'm not sure why I did this. :P 

     

    1. Slowswift

      Slowswift

      It's got quite the funny etymology, too.

      Screenshot2024-01-06at5_17_35PM.png.3e718ce8d0a393676e1dead1873f4830.png

  23. Just-A-Stick

    Drowning



     

     

     

     

    The chain around my heart

    Is dragging me under

    It wrenches me into

    The black depths

     

    I cannot tell

    If the water is in me

    Or outside of my head.

    I am drowning.

     

    The water closes over my head,

    Blocking out all the light.

    It is cold, dark, wet, and lonely. 

    There is no hope

    For those who are drowning.

     

    I will soon be consumed

    By the dark waters.

    They will clog my throat,

    I will stop breathing.

     

    I will sleep for eternity

    Under the waves

    That slowly rock my carcass.

    Back and forth.

    Unfeeling and

    Uncaring.

     

    Will I finally find peace,

    Down there, in the depths?

    Do those who drowned

    Ever get to rest?

    Or are they in ceaseless 

    Turmoil

    Way down

    Deep. 

     

    I am drowning. 

    None can save me.

     

    ~ Stick 1-3-24 




     

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Just-A-Stick

      Just-A-Stick

      ❤️‍🩹

    3. Part Of The Narrative

      Part Of The Narrative

      I love you and I’m here for you you knowww <3333

    4. Weaver of Lies

      Weaver of Lies

      We are always here for you, like Archie said. If you ever need something don’t hesitate to ask. ❤️‍🩹

  24. Just-A-Stick

    Hi, Girly! Love the new PFP, as usual! ❤️ 

    (And thx for the meme) :D 

    It made my day :D 

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. The Wandering Wizard

      The Wandering Wizard

      Meme??? 👀

      Also I love it too :D

    3. Edema Rue

      Edema Rue

      Hehe just in the sharder memes thing :) 

    4. The Wandering Wizard

      The Wandering Wizard

      Hehe those were good :3

  25. Just-A-Stick

    I wrote a poem awhile back... so, here.

    (spoiler for length and cause it's kinda sad/depressing...)

    Spoiler

    Abandoned 

     

     

    Lost

    Forgotten

    Alone

    Did I ever make a difference?

    Do people care?

    Does God see?

    Why

    Why do they wonder?

    What is it like to be me?

    The lies

    So believable

    Where are you?

    When these feelings take over?

    When it takes so much effort just to keep breathing?

    When the fear is crippling?

    When I am falling apart?

    Body,

    Mind,

    Spirit,

    Toppling over.

     

    The wind is strong.

    So strong.

    I can feel it,

    Tipping me toward decisions.

    Regrets.

    Why do we live?

    For purpose?

    What is that purpose?

    Oh God, where are you?

    In my hour of need?

    In a matter of life and death?

    My life?

    My death?

    When I need you!

    With every fiber of my being

    I know, somewhere inside,

    That you hold me.

    But

    Why can I not feel those hands now?

     

    Rest.

    What is rest?

    Why am I a stranger to so much?

    Do my words mean anything?

    I toss them up!

    Toward you!

    Do you hear?

    They ricochet endlessly off the ceiling.

    Bounce back into my face.

    Why? Oh Lord?

    Why me?

    Did you choose,

    When I was made,

    To give me these burdens?

     

    So heavy.

    I strain under the weight of them,

    Crying out for rest!

    For help!

    All the time, 

    Wondering.

    Wondering

    Why,

    Wondering when

    This load will be lifted

    If it even will.

    Ever. 

     

    I feel hopeless.

    Abandoned

    Dead inside

    Wanting the deadness to consume me

    What stops me?

    From ending it all?

    Facing eternity?

    Killing my dreams

    My plans

    My hope

    Myself

    Empty.

     

    Why am I here?

    You say you have plans for me?

    Prove it!

    I bleed!

       In spirit

        In mind

         In body

    Do you see?

    Do you see the suffering?

    Why is this called life?

    Is there any hope at all?

    I am dying!

    And yet

    You seem to do nothing!

    Why?

     

    Lord.

    I fall.

    Have fallen.

    Will continue to fall.

    Forever.

    Will I be caught?

    In anything other than this storm?

    Emotions

    Pain

    Heartache

    They swirl inside of me,

    Beating against my very soul

    Among them all,

    The question remains,

    Unanswered

    Abandoned

    Forgotten

    Why?

     

    You made us;

    So fragile!

    We break.

    Hurt. 

    Die.

    And you!

    Up where it is safe!

    Look on and do nothing!?

    Why are we like this?

    What is the plan?

    Why have you hidden from us?

     

    I have dreams.

    Nightmares

    I am haunted

    Creatures lurk

    Skitter

    Creep

    Through the shadows in my soul

    There is no escape

    Death lives here

    In my heart

    But

    I am still breathing

    If only

    If only I wasn’t-

    These are the thoughts

    The thoughts killing me-

    Or am I killing myself?

    Everything is dark

    Cold

    Scary

    Why?

     

     

     

    What kind of life is this?

    Would it be better not to live at all?

    Who understands?

    Not my family!

    Not my friends!

    Not you!

    Tell me, God!

    Where are you?

    When Hell has come to earth?

    When I want to-

    Feel as if I need to-

    Die

    Escape 

    Fade away

    Forever

     

    Would anyone really notice?

    If I was gone-

    One instant-

    One decision-

    One jump-

    One stab-

    One life-

    Gone

    What if?

    Who would care?

    Who would weep?

    If I

    Was

    Gone.

    Forever.

     

    Can I continue to bear this?

    Like I have for so long?

    If I just collapse?

    The strain is too much! 

    I am weak!

    Alone.

     

    You say that you are always with me?

    Then where?

    Where are you?!

    What must I do to feel your presence?

    Empty.

    Alone

    Abandoned.

     

     

     

    ~ Stick 💔

     

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Edema Rue

      Edema Rue

      Me too ❤️ 

      You're a wonderful human, and you deserve the joy this life will bring you. I know it hurts right now. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You are loved, even if you can't always feel it.

    3. Just-A-Stick

      Just-A-Stick

      ❤️‍🩹

    4. Just a Silvereye

      Just a Silvereye

      I know that many people, here and elsewhere, would weep. Me included.

      I also know that you are an awesome person. Much more than you probably realize, in fact. And you deserve to be loved.

      Sometimes, life seems intent on kicking you in the guts again and again, and you're on the floor and you plead for it to stop but it doesn't, and you feel like you're trash for not being able to get out of it. It is easy, then, to forget who you are, to forget what you've done, to forget what makes you special. 

      But always remember : you are an incredibly gifted person. I am glad to know you, even a little.

      And I promise you that the rain stops one day. Even if the darkness seems infinite, someday you will reach a light. You will be warm again. I don't know how, or when, or where, but I know that you will.

      *long hugs*

       

      Spoiler

      Sorry for double pinging all of you. I accidentally hit send halfway through, and hid the half message thinking I could edit it and then unhide it. Turns out you can't, at least on mobile.

      Someday I will have to learn to properly use those things called my fingers.

       

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