Miracle

Stars

I Wish

There you go  

GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I FINISHED WARBREAKER!!!

AHHHHH IT'S SO GOOD!

I JUST WANT TO READ IT AGAIN!!!

T-T

I LOVED ALLL THE CHARACTERS SO MUCH!!!

HEHEHE

THE ENDING!!!

I WANT MOREEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, I'm about to dump my poetry  

LOVE YOU ALLLL!!!

~ Stick

HEYYYY

I'm back!

Hi!

I MISSED YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!! T-T

AND AKDKHFAKHFLKAE!!!!!!!!!!

I'M READING WARBREAKER!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE IT SOOO SOOO SOOO MUCHHH!!!

AND I'M A LIL HYPER IF YOU COULN'T TELL!

*inhale*

Okay, that's better!

I'll prolly poetry dump tomorrow, and I might have to kill some RP characters... I don't think I can keep up with all of everything anymore...  

Anyway! Mental health isn't good really... umm... had a panic attack earlier cause of a dumb hallucination that someone pulled a gun on me... it was extremely scary and now I'm afraid to go outside...

ummmmmmmm.....

I have fish in my fish tank now! Added them today  they are adorable and I'll prolly show a pic sometime  

I really hate math... BUT THE CIVIL WAR! OMG I'M SUCH A NERRDDDD!!!!

Heh... I'm kinda everywhere right now, so that's um...

I can sing a song REALLY well and I'm so proud of myself!! I can match the guys voice  p e r f e c t l y!!!

23 by Chayce Beckham!!!!!

 I love ittttt :3 

UmmMMMm

I think I was gonna say something else, but I can't rememberrrrr  

OH OHOHOHOH

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HALLYYYY!!!! 

AND WHOEVER ELSE I MISSED  

That's all for now  

Love y'all,

You're all special, don't forget that  

~ Stick  

Hi guys!

Life suck and my parents are banning me from all Shard things for 1 week.

After that 1 week, I will have 1 hour to be online every day for "the foreseeable future"

I'm sorry about all this, and might potentially be dropping out of some RPs.

The first being The Hunger Games, cause I won't be here.

@The Wandering Wizard has my email, so if you want that, ask him and he'll text me and I'll approve it.

I love you all very much, and am crying my farewell.

I have 11 minutes now to say goodbye.

~ Stick

You need to hear this.

Whoever the storms you are, regardless of your race, gender, pronouns, religion, political standing, or any of the other ways we choose to divide ourselves. You, yes, you need to hear this.

   Life is hard. Living hurts. I'm hurting too. We all are, in our own ways... I'm getting stronger. Read that again. Say it out loud. I'm getting stronger. It hurts now, it's hell now, I don't want to go on... But I'm standing here, choosing to go on. I am strong enough. I'm good enough. I can feel my feelings. I can let the tears fall. I can not be okay. 

   It will be okay, eventually... It might not be today, true... It might not be tomorrow, next week, a month from now... It might take years. I'm sorry for the wait. I'm sorry that healing hurts. I'm sorry that it's like this... You don't deserve this pain. It's not your fault.... I want to hug you, to hold you and tell you it's going to be okay. I need you to trust me on this. It will get better. Just keep breathing. 

    I have panic attacks, where it feels like my lungs are single-handedly trying to kill me. Like I'm being constricted. I can't breathe, so I panic more. My mind races. I can't think straight. I had a fairly intense one the other day. I thought I was dying I couldn't see the other side of the attack... My closest friend laid beside me, as the tears were almost coming, as my chest was heaving. She just held my hand. When I was at my weakest, when I thought I was a goner. She held me tightly. She told me to breathe. She didn't try to convince me of anything. All she said was "Please, breathe for me. It's okay... it's going to be okay... it's going to get better..." Over and over, her voice and her touch the only thing I could focus on. She just held me, told me over and over, softly in my ear, "I love you, It's okay... it won't last forever... just breathe..." She breathed with me, showing me how. Her grip on my hand never faltered, not for a second. 

   Where am I going with this? Well, I know that not all of you have someone like that. I'm sure a lot of you could use someone like that. When that happens. Breathe for me? If no one else would care if you stopped, I care. Breathe for me. PM me, ask for my email, breathe for me. If you stop, you'll never get to see everything get better. You'll never get to find that thing you're searching for, you'll never get to see the life that was designed for you by a loving hand. You have dreams, I know you do. You really want to leave those behind? Just... give up on those plans you made? I don't think you do... 

   Guys, life is scary sometimes. This coming from the girl who just spent the night in the emergency room because of another suicide attempt. I was scared. I am scared. But, I'm also taking steps toward healing. Yes, they are hard! Yes, they hurt! But, that is healing. That is falling and getting back up. That is stumbling along your path in life. Please, I cannot stress to you enough how important it is for you to talk to someone- anyone- about what you are feeling. I'm here, if you have no one else. I'll be your friend. I'll hold you, as best as I can. 

   Broken. What a hopeless word. I know some of you- who I won't mention- think you are to broken to find help. This is a lie. This isn't true. I don't know what your situation is, but you aren't hopeless. Say that out loud. I'm not hopeless. I'm not beyond help. See? It's true. I am here. I can be a lil chaotic at times- you guys know this. But I'm here, all the same. Let me- or someone else- hold you. You don't have to carry it alone anymore. This is not your burden. It's NOT. Okay? I want you to believe that.

     If you aren't religious, aren't a Christian like I am, then you may ignore this part.

     Guys, Jesus... he died so that he could carry all this for you. All this died on the cross, only it didn't rise again. You don't struggle alone. Please, the strongest lie you can tell yourself is that you're alone.

Say that for me. I am not alone. People care about you. I care about you. Please, just take that next breath. Take that next step and tell someone. Tell me, talk to someone you trust, write it down, process the feelings, but don't plan anything. Think, but don't dwell. I love you, whoever you are. I'm right here. I'm hanging on. It will be worth it, when I turn around and look at the journey. I'm getting stronger. Like a friend said to me.

                                                   "God doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called."

        You are getting stronger. I believe you can do this. I love you. I care. I'm here. Take a breath. 

                                                                                 ~Stick 2-20-24

AHHHH

NO

I'M LATE!!!

HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!

Oh! Hi guys!

I'm back!  

I was at a sleepover with some friends who COULD NOT stop talking about Harry Potter (which I have not read) For more that 25 minutes at a time XD

In other news, I had a lil panic attack last night which wasn't fun, but I'm better now.

I STARTED HUNGER GAMES FINALLY!!!

I'M LOVING IT SO FAR!!  

I'm on page 162, and want to be done by this time tomorrow  

I hope Y'all have a great rest of your day!

Love Y'all

~ Stick

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Hi!

I got some significant work done on the fish tank today!

Unfortunately, life decided to kick my freakin butt and now, my wrist is like this:

Which makes me mad, as well as in pain  

I HAD THINGS TO DO, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

*GrOwL*

I'll be fine tho  

annnyyywayyyy

Love Y'all!

Hope your having a good day!

<33

~ Stick

*sob* 

GUYS IM SO DUMB!!!

I STARTED ANOTHER BOOK TODAY!

AND IT'S AMAZING AND I RECOMMEND TO ANYONE

BUT I'M ALREADY READING SO MANY!!!

T-T

HELP ME!!!

But THIS BOOK!

AH!

It's called "Wolf by Wolf" written by Ryan Graudin...

Ahhhh guys it's SO FREAKING GOOD AND I'M ONLY 6 CHAPTERS IN!!!

Here's what it says on the back

IT'S SO GOOD!!!

This has been:

Geek Out Over Books Session With Stick

Have a wonderful day, and don't die!  

Love Y'all!

<33

~ Stick

GUYS!

I HAVE NO IDEA

HOW THIS IS RELAVANT

TO ANYTHING

BUT

WINFIELD SCOTT

WENT TO

AARON BURR'S TRIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HAVE NO IDEA WHY THIS MATTERS AT ALL

BUT MY BRAIN IS GOING A LIL 

HAYWIRE NOT GONNA LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*CACKLE*

I HAVE A BREADSTICKKKK!!!!

AHHAHAHAHA

"Sometimes you need the rain, to know you miss the sun,

Sometimes you need the pain, to know it isn't love,

Sometimes the one you hold, you gotta let 'em go,

You gotta let 'em gooo...."

~ LET EM GO by Matt Hansen

If you ever need a song about getting rid of a toxic relationship, here you go.

To bad it's impossible for me..

And, we love two hour delays! (this isn't sarcastic) 

BUT! (this is sarcastic) DON'T WE LOVE IT WHEN WE WAKE UP PANICKING AT 6 FREAKING 30 BC WE THINK WE HAVE TO LEAVE IN 10 MINUTES!?!?!?

*CUE PANICKED RUNNING*

ONLY TO FIND OUT AFTER GOING DOWNSTAIRS, THAT I HAVE 2 STORMING HOURS TO DO AWAY WITH FIRST???? 2 HOURS WHEN I COULD HAVE BEEN SLEEEEPING!

*ScReAmS oF rAgE*

But, at least I get sNoW!

*exasperated flop*

so, that's where I am...

Love Y'all

~ Stick  

You know... I just got something very interesting said to me. 

My little sister said.

"You know, (my name) I wish I could be like you... you always know how to disappear... You leave a room and no one notices... I try to do that and I get called back right away... but with you, no one ever notices that your gone. It's like you weren't there in the first place. I wish I could do that."

I... I guess that's me... the person who goes unnoticed... the one who no one would notice if I was just... gone. I'm not exactly sure how to process everything... I don't know if I can...

I could use some hugs.  

*exasperated sigh*

Why do I do this to myself???

I know that when I get halfway through the song, I'll start crying!

And yet... I play it, then wonder why the heck I'm crying!!!

Then, I get frustrated at myself, because I hate crying cause it's so messy and makes me feel stupid.

Which makes me cry....

*huffy breath*

I hate being pissed/sad/depressed at the world for NO STORMING REASON!!!

*GROWL*

Happy Birthdayyyy!!!

YAY!

My assignment is done! Until I have to turn it in and realize that I fricked it up...  

I'll just put it here bc... uhhhh... I don't have a reason sue me  (but don't cause I have no moneeeyyy) :((

This was fun to research ngl  

BEWARE THE FLOATING DEATH TRAPPPP!!!

AHAHAHAHA 

Ahhh... yes... school sucks, but

TACO SALAD IS DELICIOUS!!! 

*sigh*

I hate it when I suddenly have loneliness crash over me like a wave...

I miss my IRL friends...  

The wonderful people who can hug me for real...

I love them all... I miss them all... But they aren't here... 

Alright, if we are talking about fun things to do with a Sunday afternoon,

This is FOR SURE up there!!!

I LOVE MY FLOOFY BOI!!!  

*inhale*

Hello!

I'm sorry about yesterday, I was/am a mess, but it's cool...

Umm... I'm better, at least a little...

I still DON'T DESERVE THE DAY WINS!!!! xD

But thank you anyway  

*hugs everyone*

Thank you all for the hugs and support....

They really mean a lot...

*more hugs cause hugs*

Love you all!

~ Stick  

Hello...

~ Stick 2-10-24

Songs that keep making me cry:

Hold On by Chord Overstreet

Chasing Shadows by Alex Warren

Locksmith by Sadie Jean

If You Love Her by Forest Blakk

Fine by Kyle Hume

Let Me Down Slowly by Alec Benjamin

Broken by Isak Danielson

They are all amazing and I love them!

Also, thanks for the day win yesterday! I have officially given up protesting because it doesn't do anything

AND!

WHO WANTS

TO BE

MEMED!!!!

That's all for now!

~ Stick 

@Robin Sedai- You asked for a picture...

*cries*

*is working my butt off to try and make a meme*