Herowannabe

3 hours ago, MetaTerminal said:

As for other things that will eventually happen, I will join as Jasnah, so that when I embarrass myself on the Shard it will be in a controlled setting.

NON-Cosmere this time around, so Jasnah is a no-go. Sorry! You’ll have to save her for a future tournament.  

18 hours ago, Sorana said:

I'd like to sign up as Menolly.

I was really looking forward to this round.

15 hours ago, Paranoid King said:

I'll have to check with @Herowannabe with this one, but I think we're only doing sanderson characters. We might be able to branch out in future rounds, but I just don't know who that character is.

Noted.

9 hours ago, Sorana said:

I meant Melody... sorry no idea how that happened. Menolly is a character of mine

Ha ha no worries @Sorana!

But just to be clear for anyone else who may be wondering- yes, we’re limiting it to Brandon Sanderson characters. I already worry that we’re going to run into an issue with people not knowing who another character is because they haven’t read that particular Sanderson story yet. 

1 minute ago, Butt Ad Venture said:

Finally! A way that I can conbubrute even with my poor artistic talent!

I volunteer as tribute! It’s going to be so much fun reading through the old roasts!

Thanks!

Oh and I forgot to mention, the link in my post grants editing privileges, so anyone who wants to help can just click on the link and start editing away. 

Alright everyone, the votes have been cast and counted, and the time has come to announce the winner of the Cosmere Character Roast Battle Tournament of Champions! And without further ado, the greatest Roaster in all the Cosmere is- *Drumroll please!

...

And now, with that done, you might be wondering, what's next?

Well first off, a small announcement to make. @Paranoid King offered to be a Co-Moderator, and @John203 agreed to let him take his place. So a big thank you to @John203 for the work you've done over the past couple months helping me run this! And @Paranoid King, I look forward to working with you on the next tournament. 

And yes, a new tournament is in the works. We'll give it a few days for the dust to settle from the Championship tournament, and then we'll announce and open up sign-ups for the next one (That will also give me a chance to coordinate with my new co-GM). 

Lastly, I could use one or more volunteers to help out a bit. In the very first post of this thread, @Ashspren has a link to an Archive with links to all of the roasts that have been submitted throughout all the tournaments. However, it hasn't been updated in a while. I've been wanting to get it up to date but I haven't had time and don't know if/when I'll ever get around to it. So if someone wanted to go through the thread and fill out the doc with the last couple of tournaments (including links to the roasts) that would be fantastic, and I'll be sure you get showered with lots of upvotes for your efforts. Thanks in advance! 

1 hour ago, Zath said:

Sweet Harmony, those were storming amazing.    Paranoid King, Itiah...  You both crafted some excellent song parody roasts.  Simply superlative!

You said it perfectly.

@Paranoid King, @I think I am here.:

1 hour ago, Zath said:

Let's all take a second and appreciate how Herowannabe set the hype for this last round.   
Thanks to you and John203 for stepping up and moderating the last handful of rounds to finish out this tournament!  You deserve internet applause too. (Plus, I still have that tab of applause GIFs open, so why not?)

Why thank you!  But don't forget, if anyone deserves applause it's @Ashspren for kicking this whole thing off in the first place. Seriously, thank you @Ashspren! This really is the greatest thread on the Shard.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. We still have one thing left to do...

(I couldn't resist)

VOTE VOTE VOTE!!!

I'll keep the poll open until Sunday, so go cast your vote, get your friends and coworkers to vote, bribe homeless people off the street to create an account and vote, whatever it takes!

2 hours ago, Faceless Mist-Wraith said:

There was an update recently: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/craftygames/mistborn-house-war/posts/2524100

It shows off some really cool artwork coming in the expansion!

Yeah, the new “cover art” (with Vin, Elend, and Straff) is now the new wallpaper for my phone. 

I’m very excited to see what they’ve done with this expansion.

@Paranoid King you literally had me laughing out loud.  nicely done!

@I think I am here. In case you missed it, you're up now. 

Something tells me that it would take Hemalurgy to make Scadrian-shardblades (and can we all pause for a second and agree that Scadrian-shardblades should be called Mistblades?). I mean, people have filled metalminds to full with Feruchemy before, but as far as we know none of them have become Sentient and started manifesting other-worldly powers (Unless of course, that's what Khriss and Nazh's ad about talking tools in the New Ascendancy broadsheet is talking about and Brandon is just being coy with us...)

Alright everyone, the votes are in, which means it's time to begin

The Final round of the Cosmere Roast Battle Tournament of Champions!!!

In the left corner, we have a guy whose rapping skill is the only thing madder than he is, the crazy Skaa that leaves you in awe, the only mistborn who is more excelsior than Kelsier, GEMMEL!!!!! (as represented by @Paranoid King)

And over in the right corner, wearing the sharpest of Ministry robes and boasting even sharper frontal lobes, And by that I mean he's got a cranium so quick he doesn't even need the Atium, the showman who sees every omen, YOMEN!!!!! (as represented by @I think I am here.)

Congratulations you two for making it to the finals! You are both very deserving and should feel honored to be here. (And with Gemmel and Yomen in the finals, it means that the Tournament of Champions, like all of the past tournaments, has once again proven that Scadrians still rap better than anyone else out there.  )

Of course, with it being the Tournament of Champions, we have made the final round a bit more challenging and thrown in a couple twists for you. First off, the format will be a little different. You will each be coming up with not one, but TWO raps, posted one at a time, alternating between the two of you, like so: 

1. First rapper's roast
2. Second rapper's roast/rebuttal
3. First rapper's second roast//rebuttal/finale
4. Second rapper's second roast/rebuttal/finale

I just flipped a coin and the gods of fate have decreed that @Paranoid King will go first. @I think I am here., you should wait until @Paranoid King has posted his first rap before you post your response, and then so on. 

In addition, each of your raps will be done as a parody of a well known song. You are free to choose your own songs, and they can be from any genre (in other words, they don't need to be rap songs. They could be Pop songs or Rock songs or Classical songs or Disney songs or you could even do it to the tune of Baby Shark, it's up to you). That being said, I highly recommend picking songs that most everyone will be familiar with, rather than an obscure song that many people haven't heard before. Also, when you post your rap, please link to the original song on Youtube so that we can follow along. Also note that you should be coming up with your own lyrics for the songs, not just re-using the lyrics from the original, even if they would be applicable.

So @Paranoid King, you are up first! Since this is the finals, we are not going to be strict about time limits. We want you to take the time you need to create roasts that you are happy with, rather than rushing something out. However, please don’t keep us waiting long! We are all eager to see how this round will play out.

Let the final round the the Cosmere Roast Battle Tournament of Champions begin!

Storms @Paranoid King! I'd have trouble competing with any of your roasts, let alone three of them at once! Seriously, hats off to you, dude!

But that's not to say I'm going to just give up. I'll still go down swinging!

So without further ado, Here's Galladon!

And with that, we have all four submissions for the Semi-Final Round, which can mean only one thing:

It's time to VOTE!

Well unfortunately I’m not done with my rap and I’m not going to have time to finish it tonight. I’ll do my best to have it up tomorrow. 

@I think I am here., how about you? How’s your roast coming? 

@Silva and @Paranoid King, thanks for getting your raps in. I haven’t read them yet, but I can’t wait too.  

So... 2 days turned into 7. Whoops. 

But I'm here now, and we are officially beginning the Semi-Final Round of the Cosmere Rap Roast Battles Tournament of Champions!

First off, thanks to everyone who submitted words for this round. I made sure everybody had at least one word who made it through, and for those who submitted multiple words I made sure at least 3 of their words. A special thanks to @Zath who submitted more words than anybody else (almost more than everybody else combined!), and also to @hoiditthroughthegrapevine, whose themed list of words amused me (I'll let you guys try to figure out what the theme was and which words were his. ;))

For the Semi-finals we have two 1v1 matches, but to keep things moving along we will be running them both at the same time. Each contestant will be randomly assigned 5 words from the required words list. As a reminder, you must not only use each of those 5 words in your roast, you must also rhyme with each of those words. Good luck!

Match 1:

@Paranoid King representing Gemmel! (Required words: Puppy, Yolish, Herald, Elocution, Cause)

vs.

@Herowannabe representing Galladon! (Required words: Ideal, Triangle, Thaylen/Thaylenah, Coffee Jelly, Novel)

Match 2:

@I think I am here. representing Yomen! (Required words: Dim-witted, Sharp, Turkish delight, Avalanche, Bundt cake)

vs.

@Silva representing Yokska! (Required words: Obfuscate, Allomancy/Allomancer, Fierce, Marshmallow, Sixteen

You have 4 days (until end of the day Thursday) to submit your roasts. If you need more time or are unable to compete in this round, then please let us know. Good luck everyone! (EDIT: Also, please highlight your required words in your roast to make it easier to see which words you used and how you used them. Thanks!)

On 5/14/2019 at 11:53 AM, Wyrmhero said:

Hey, remember that he turned down their money for Children of the Nameless so it would be available for free. He's such a fanboy

Yeah I know. I wonder what he would have said if they had asked him to write War of the Spark...

On 5/13/2019 at 10:53 PM, Paranoid King said:

BTW, as a contestant, can I also submit words? 

I'm going to have to say no, just to keep things neat and clean. Sorry! 

Alright everyone, welcome to the Semi-Final round of the Tournament of Champions! Congrats to our semi-finalists, who have proved their mettle in the last round by taking on the role of a character not their own! (Don't worry, for the rest of the Tournament you will be representing the character you signed up to represent) Entering the semi-final rounds we have:

@I think I am here. representing Yomen

Myself, representing Galladon

@Paranoid King, representing Gemmel

and @Silva, representing Yokska

Thank you to all who have participated in this tournament so far, including: @hoiditthroughthegrapevine, @Zath, @Gray to, @Archer, @Felt, @AonEne, @Toaster Retribution, @Sorana, @Ark1002, @Kidpen, @John203, and @ILuvHats (hopefully I got everyone. If not, I'm sorry!). Before we begin the semi-final round, we have one last task for all of you. The twist for the semi-finals is going to be that each contestant will have a list of words that they are required to use and rhyme with in their roasts. We are calling on you- all of the previous contestants in the tournament- to offer up suggestions for required words. FYI the goal is to encourage and challenge the contestants creativity- not to try to trap them with words that can't be rhymed with. As such, any words deemed too difficult to rhyme with (eg: orange, purple, etc) as well as any inappropriate words will be rejected. You may offer as many suggestions as you'd like, though no guarantees that all of them will be used. We will try to use at least one suggested word from each person though. 

Here's the link. We'll give you 2 days to submit your suggestions and then we'll begin the semi-final round!

5 hours ago, Wyrmhero said:

Don't get me wrong though - I certainly couldn't have done better,

I’m pretty sure you could have done better @Wyrmhero. 

Anyone else wish that they had simply broken open their piggy bank and hired Brandon to write it for them?

2 hours ago, Rhapsody said:

That's just sad. I mean if you are going to write a character which you didn't make yourself you should look at his background story. Simply to get him right.

Well to be fair the author had to squeeze in cameos for dozens and dozens of planeswalkers. Many of them, even some fairly major characters, only got brief mentions. And as I think about it, since CotN only came out about 5 months ago, the author probably never got a chance to read it before writing War of the Spark. He probably only got a brief description of Davriel’s powers and was told to give him a cameo. It’s clear he didn’t know anything about Davriel’s personality. 

3 hours ago, Rhapsody said:

By the way the Davriel Deck works rather well. Not something you could play in modern or a tournament but it's fun for a couple casual matches. Especcially when after the first match your opponent get's really scared of Davriel's continued damage =)

Sweet. I’m still waiting for the chance to try mine out.  

So I finished reading the War of the Spark novel yesterday. It was... not great (to put it nicely). Especially for those of us who are used to Sanderson standards of writing. No character development, dull and predictable plot, the action scenes were incredibly dry and boring. Davriel does have a couple cameos in it, but you can tell from them that the author never read Children of the Nameless. 

It does tell you the story of what happens in War of the Spark, so there’s that. Really, it’s like a B-movie except in book-form. If you like B-movies and you’re really into Magic, then you might enjoy the book. If you just want to know what happens with all your favorite MtG characters but don’t want to waste your time and money on this book, send me a PM and I’ll tell you everything that happens.  

The results are in:

The winner or Round 2, Match 2 is @Silva, representing Frost!

The winner of Round 2, Match 3 is @I think I am here., representing Sja-Anat!

Congrats to both of you!

Also, voting for Round 2, Match 4 is now open! By way of reminder, our contestants are:

Hoid, as voiced by @Paranoid King!

Gemmel, as voiced by @Archer!

and Taan/Aanden, as voiced by @John203!

Vote vote vote!

The poll will stay open for 48 hours (possibly more, if I can't get to it quickly enough)

5 hours ago, ILuvHats said:

Ok. I just got so lucky I had to share it. I was playing in a booster draft tournament today, mainly because I wanted to get davriel without sifting through a dozen booster packs, and was crossing my fingers nobody else in my pool would go dimir or mill and take him instead. Fortunately, I was the only one aiming for that deck type, and I got both him and davriel's subterfuge. But then, I got even luckier. I opened my last pack, and low and behold, there sat Nicol Bolas, Dragon-God . I seriously considered going 3 colors and drafting him into my deck, but decided it would be pretty hard to add in enough good red cards to make up for it after already committing to dimir. But still. That's probably the best draw in a tournament I'll ever get.

#jealous

Nicely done as always @Paranoid King!

 @Archer and @John203 1 day left! Please let us know whether or not you’re going to make it 

So I haven't played magic IRL in over 15 years (I've dabbled with the Magic: Duels app a little, but that's it), but when I heard that Davriel was making it into the game it sparked (pun intended) my interest again, so I just went to a pre-release event last weekend and played a few rounds. I had a lot of fun, and it reminded me how much fun (and expensive) it can be to collect cards and build a deck and pit it against other people. 

But the main highlight was that a good friend of mine traded me 2 copies of Davriel- one foiled and one regular. I also pulled a Davriel's Shadowfugue in one of my packs. Now I just need to get to another one of Brandon's signings so that I can get my cards signed (I also have a couple Vin promo cards that I still need to get signed). 

Hey everyone! Several things in this post:

First off, Sorry @ILuvHats, we can't wait for your roast any longer. As such, the voting is now officially open for Round 2: Match 2. Good luck to our contestants, @Silva (Frost), and @Toaster Retribution (Yokska)!

Secondly, all 3 submissions are in for Round 2: Match 3, so voting is open for this match as well! Good luck to our contestants, @Zath (Dilaf), @I think I am here. (Sja-Anat), and @Kidpen (Yomen)!

Click here to vote! 

(Note: Since we have 2 matches being voted on simultaneously, both of will be voted on in the same questionnaire. Click "Next" to get to the second page. Please don't click "Submit" until you have voted for each match.)

Lastly, let's go ahead and get the final match of Round 2 underway. Our next batch of rappers are:

@Paranoid King representing Hoid!

@Archer representing Gemmel!

@John203 representing Taan/Aanden!

You will have 4 days to submit your raps- or in other words, until the end of the day Thursday (5/2). If you need more time or if something comes up and you are unable to participate, please post and let us know. Good luck!

8 hours ago, Zath said:

Just a heads up: I'm planning to finish my roast tomorrow, but life has dropped a brick on my face (metaphorically) so I may not be able to get my roast done and posted until Friday, or Saturday at the latest.

Thanks for the heads up. That’s fine. 

Nice rap @I think I am here.!

10 minutes ago, I think I am here. said:

Now I can truly see why your wife killed herself.

Ouch!

On 4/23/2019 at 1:15 PM, Ark1002 said:

K what happened to me?

*Checks master spreadsheet*

*Double-checks @Ark1002's name history*

*Re-checks master spreadsheet*

*Checks thread*

Unfortunately, it looks like you didn't make it past the previous round.  Better luck next time!

On 4/23/2019 at 9:38 AM, Kidpen said:

To clarify, is Yomen this guy or this guy.

I'm assuming the first guy but it's worth checking.

You are correct, it is Aradan Yomen

@Zath @I think I am here. @Kidpen @ILuvHats One day left!