What Happened in Portland

[Kobold King he/him]

 

The next minute was a blur that only Aldo's deduction could make sense of.

 

He heard Cricket's warning and rose to his feet, a revolver in hand. Before Cricket could reach the room, the woman from the alleyway appeared in the doorway, her face shocked and appalled.

 

This time he got a better look at her. She was much taller than the average woman, and was wearing a lace outfit reminiscent of Edwardian fashion. Though her dress was that of a civilized lady, her hair was a wild mess of brown curls that seemed to wage an ongoing war on her pear-adorned hat. Up and down her body he could make out pockets and hidden folds that seemed to be hiding small bottles.

 

"Poison!" the mad woman shrieked, running into the room. Her hands moved quickly and agilely to her hat, pulling out a pair of unusually sharp hairpins. She threw them across the room, sending them in a trajectory that would have placed them straight in Aldo's throat.

 

Aldo stepped out of the way, letting the needles pass him by and stab into the wall behind him. His still-confused mind made out multiple details. Phoenix's eyes shot open from the couch and he jumped to his feet. His voice, sounding more determined than Aldo had ever heard it in their brief time together, shouted the name "MARIGOLD!" loud and clearly through the room.

 

In the doorway behind the Edwardian lady, Cricket appeared with a look of murder in her eyes. She poised for a kick--a kick which undoubtedly would snap the woman's spine in two. Aldo raised his hand and yelled "STOP!" just before she could deliver a killing blow.

 

Phoenix and the woman--Marigold--embraced in the middle of the dusty living room. Aldo cracked a small smile at the sight. They were an unlikely couple--a rugged mountain man in a purple suit pressed against a strange cross between an Edwardian lady and a hippie.

 

Aldo put his revolver on the table and put his hands in the air, stepping away from the couple to show he meant no harm. "Well, this is becoming an increasingly enlightening experience for everyone, I am sure," he said with a chuckle. "I find myself being the least enlightened of us all, however... would anyone care to explain what is happening in this room?"

[Mrs. Voidus she/her]

Saccharine pulled away from her husband with a grin that spit her face in an almost un-pretty way. I just can't believe it! She thought as she let her hands run over his face and through his beard. 

"I find myself being the least enlightened of us all," said this man Aldo. "However... would anyone care to explain what is happening in this room?"

Only partially embarrassed at her display of public affection, Saccharine turned to face both epics and removed her hat -  it wouldn't do to be impolite . Her hair fell, knotted and tangled to her waist, and released a soft aroma of lavender and jasmine from the tiny flowers that had dried there and seemingly become part of her mane. Taking Jeff's hand Saccharine introduced herself. 

"I am this man's wife. I have spent the last nine months searching for him after I lost track of his movements. We were victims of an epic attack you see, and I thought it was some sort of revenge move against me as I had recently gained my own powers and had some rather unfortunate accidents with some test... uh subjects."

 

The magician looking fellow and his female companion looked at each other with an uncomfortable expression.

 

"Yes, well, I didn't want to bring any more attention to our work, and I couldn't have my dear one getting hurt because of me so, so I ran. But then I couldn't live without him so I changed my mind and tried to find him."

 

Saccharine nodded curtly as if to say that was as sufficient an explanation as she was going to give. She looked to the deranged looking man beside her and shook her head in sadness.

"You have confused him. You were going to hurt him. I am an epic and I don't think you want to find out exactly what kind. So I am afraid I will have to intervene here, unless you will let us leave?"

 

Bewildered, the offending pair said nothing in the moments after this bizarrely calmly delivered ultimatum. 

Saccharine smiled politely and returned her hat to her head and curtsied. 

"Good day to you," she said and stepped in the direction of the door.

It's not too late. She thought. Just to be safe. Just exit slowly.

Edited September 6, 2014 by Mrs. Voidus

[Edgedancer he/him]

Explaining that Traveller had to be alive to do what Lucentia wanted him to do was insultingly obvious, maybe it was only a set up for their own rather flat threats. Although, that might only make it worse. That arm of hers did often cause people to underestimate her, a grave mistake for every single one of them.

                       

Traveller shifted his mannerism yet again when he walked over to the Goth.  "How about this, then. We help you put a hole in his lungs—perhaps even take a picture to make it last before that bothersome healing factor of his takes effect—and you climb down from that high horse of yours and refrain from judging our life choices." He seemed as if he actually wanted to be arrogant, a disgusing piece of hypocrisy, given his respect.

 

The way he switched from a bad diplomat to throwing around insults way above his head to finally defending his servant by claiming that she was judgmental, could be entertaining, if not for the fact that he was rusting annoying.

 

Lucentia folded her hands in her lap and blinked a couple of times at Traveller, trying to make her expression seem at least a little bit sincere. ”Alright, I might have overreacted to your Doctor over there dancing around an old wound of mine and the other girl implying that I sleep with my brother. Honestly, if you feel the need to defend incest, laughing at people in a wheelchair and being rude in general, that´s your life choice.” 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

                                                                                          

For a moment, Lucentia seemed ready to launch into a tirade that would invariably end with one person in the room either encased in or impaled by her diamonds. Then she drew herself up again, folded her hands in her lap, and allowed her expression to settle into one of false diplomacy. 

 

”Alright, I might have overreacted to your Doctor over there dancing around an old wound of mine and the other girl implying that I sleep with my brother. Honestly, if you feel the need to defend incest, laughing at people in a wheelchair and being rude in general, that´s your life choice.” 

 

Lucentia would fit right in with the Epics in Newcago. Her ability to twist a situation, allowing herself to simultaneously play victim and victor was infuriating. 

 

There were few Epics Nathan could not stand. Most, like Fortuity, simply frightened him. Others, like Snakehands, made him retreat to the kitchen to mock them in secret. A few, like the Snow Queen, left him in awe. But it was Epics like Lucentia, who stared with haughty eyes and proclaimed their lot worse than that of those who could be dragged off and tortured for the amusement of their peers, that set his pulse racing with anger. He felt his cheeks flush, knew it for a sign of weakness, and did what he could have never done in Newcago: gave Lucentia his iciest smile, and seriously contemplated pouring hot coffee into her lap. 

 

Whether Funtimes saw his growing rage or not, he didn't know. All he knew was that Lucentia's comments made her laugh. 

 

"You're not in a wheelchair, silly!" With a wave of her hand, the statement became a lie. "Well, now you are." 

 

She stood on tiptoe and pranced forward like the strangest ballerina he'd ever seen. As she giggled, Lucentia's dress turned from diamond-mottled white to diamond-mottled….

 

Was that bread? 

 

Funtimes clasped her hands behind her back and leaned forward, placing her eyes level with Lucentia's, although she stood across the room. "If you stop being a meanieface, I'll undo that seat belt and put your dress back the way it was. If not…." She giggled. "That wheelchair really likes peanut butter and jelly. That's his favorite snack." 

 

As if to emphasize her point, a soft growl emanated from the wheelchair. 

[Edgedancer he/him]

It is always depressing to have an encounter with a small man. Traveller´s face reddened with anger at Lucentia´s last quip. On the one hand he acted as if she just had to take everything one of his servants said in stride and on the other hand he behaved as if she was the vilest creature for retaliating at the Goth.

 

Granted the really despicable person was the Doctor. "You're not in a wheelchair, silly. Well, now you are." She waved her hand and the chair Lucentia sat on turned into a wheelchair but that wasn´t of concern neither was her bizarre dance, no the real concern was what she did to her clothing. The fabric twisted into bread and… some kind of jelly dripped put of it on Lucentia’s skin.

 

Not that she stopped there. "If you stop being a meanieface, I'll undo that seat belt and put your dress back the way it was. If not…." She giggled. "That wheelchair really likes peanut butter and jelly. That's his favorite snack." In an attempt to make her stool threatening Funtimes did in fact make it growl. That´s it, I´ve got no clue how they can held themselves as the better people but I can see them as the deader ones.

 

The diamonds sprung out of Lucentia´s body. Thin spears with a deep read impurity, making it impossible to see through them, shot out of her and rammed into the walls, quickly growing into a barricade that cut the Slontzes off from each other, Funtimes alone, the masked thing and the hippy and ultimately Traveller and the Goth. The walls that separated them weren´t thick but they continued to grow; it would only be a matter of time until the whole cottage would be filled by one big diamond.  Actually, wasn´t there another one in kitchen? Just to be certain she also blocked the door.  

 

The wheelchair shot out some kind teeth. Lucentia simply covered it in diamonds, crushing it underneath her and cutting the belt with a few jagged outgrowths from her legs.

 

Black diamonds covered Lucentia´s skin and acted as a replacement for the clothes Funtimes ruined. She stood up from the lump that used to be a wheelchair and stepped through her walls and towards Traveller, her hands clasped behind her back and small diamond wires connecting the queen to her constructs. “Now, from what I have seen your girlfriend can´t transform my diamonds, is there anything you can do that doesn´t involve running away or begging for my mercy?”

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

                                                                                        

Crimson spears shot from Lucentia's body, forming walls that trapped Nathan with Samantha. He couldn't see beyond that; aside from being an alarming shade of red and growing with remarkable speed, the walls were opaque. Nathan had one thought: I can't teleport. 

 

“Now, from what I have seen your girlfriend can´t transform my diamonds, is there anything you can do that doesn´t involve running away or begging for my mercy?”

 

Somehow, Funtimes' muffled laugh cut through the diamond. "Tra-vel-er! Don't go anywhere! I've got a surprise for you!" Her laugh became the roar of a chainsaw, which sliced through the floor with a grinding roar and a shower of sawdust. "Diamonds aren't for-e-ver," she sang, vanishing into the crawlspace, "not when you're a mean-ie-face!" Nathan heard her pounding against the floor, felt the slight jolts through his shoes, and leaped backward, dragging Sam with him to dodge the chainsaw blade that rose through the floor. 

 

Funtimes giggled and stretched out her hand. Nathan had to kneel to take it, but kneel he did, yanking Sam down with him. 

 

Telling him to go after "The others, quick!" she visited the hippie and the Unicyclist. With them in hand, she gave her next order: "Kitchen, please!" 

 

                                                                                       

Turning a wheelchair into a hungry wheelchair was a wonderful threat. Turning an Epic's dress into peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches was a fantastic one. 

 

Unfortunately, it didn't seem to resonate with Lucentia the way it should have. Hollow pings sounded from her side of the door, followed by excited cries and the sound of something pushing along the floor, tearing gashes in the wood as it advanced. Red light shone from the crack beneath the kitchen door. “Now," Lucentia said, her voice low and cool, "from what I have seen your girlfriend can´t transform my diamonds, is there anything you can do that doesn´t involve running away or begging for my mercy?”

 

Funtimes answered that question with a laugh and the roar of a chainsaw. Judging by the grinding wail it produced, it cut through Lucentia's diamonds just fine. She sang, she laughed, and from the sounds of things, she grabbed the others before instructing Traveler to take her to the kitchen. 

 

A small frown creased her face at the sight of his injuries, but she shook it off, waving a hand at one of the cupboards. Five chainsaws appeared. "What's going on out there?" 

 

Funtimes dashed forward, grabbed a chainsaw, and thrust it into Remington's hands. "Lucentia—growing diamonds—take that and have fun!" 

 

Each of the others received a chainsaw and similar instructions, delivered with a giggle and a mad gleam in her eye. With the loudest, wildest laugh of all, Doctor Funtimes started her chainsaw and cut into the floor. 

 

Remington didn't have to be told twice. He pulled the cord on his chainsaw, which came to life with a satisfying roar. Calamity, he thought with a chuckle, I just might wind up liking that woman. 

Edited November 15, 2014 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Kobold King he/him]

 

This woman--Marigold, was it?--pulled away from Phoenix, still smiling. She took off her hat, letting thick brown hair fall down to her waist. She was a good-looking woman; if she were shorter and maybe a little younger, Aldo could easily have imagined her as one of his assistants in the old magic show. Though with the woman's insistence on wearing such formal attire, it was unlikely she'd be keen on one of the revealing stage outfits he still carried around with him.

 

"I am this man's wife," the lady Epic explained. "I have spent the last nine months searching for him after I lost track of his movements. We were victims of an epic attack you see, and I thought it was some sort of revenge move against me as I had recently gained my own powers and had some rather unfortunate accidents with some test... uh subjects."

 

Aldo shot Cricket a look--she looked uncomfortable, but he felt his interest piqued. Could it be? He'd heard stories and whispers of facilities designed to replicate the powers of Epics. Was it possible that she and Phoenix were involved with such a place, or was he reading too much into his deductions?

 

The lady continued. "Yes, well, I didn't want to bring any more attention to our work, and I couldn't have my dear one getting hurt because of me so, so I ran. But then I couldn't live without him so I changed my mind and tried to find him."

 

She looked at her husband sadly. "You have confused him. You were going to hurt him. I am an epic and I don't think you want to find out exactly what kind. So I am afraid I will have to intervene here, unless you will let us leave?"

 

Turning to the door, she said "Good day to you" in a courteous voice.

 

Aldo smiled at her. "What kind of Epic you are? I think it's obvious you're an animal controller. I saw those birds and rats of yours."

 

Cricket joined in. "And I saw that funny business with the doorknob. You're a teleporter to boot."

 

"And in case we haven't been quite clear," Aldo continued.

 

"We haven't touched a hair on your darling dear," Cricket finished. Aldo gave her a look, causing her to shrug.

 

"I couldn't resist the rhyme, OK?"

 

Aldo ignored her and continued. "We merely wished to help your husband. Ask him and he'll agree that his consent he gave for free."

 

He sighed and glanced at his assistant. "Great, now you have me doing it."

 

 

 

Traveler and Lucentia postured back and forth to one another for a couple more minutes. It was always the same with Epics. They were like tomcats sizing each other up before fighting. All of them thought they were the biggest and most important predators around--and none of them seemed to realize just how sparking petty they sounded when they did it.

 

So she gave a yawn and leaned against the wall. If there was one thing Samantha Trattner prided herself on, it was knowing pettiness when she saw it.

 

 ”Alright," said Lucentia haughtily. "I might have overreacted to your Doctor over there dancing around an old wound of mine and the other girl implying that I sleep with my brother. Honestly, if you feel the need to defend incest, laughing at people in a wheelchair and being rude in general, that´s your life choice.”

 

Incest? What the sparks? Sam gave the diamond princess a blank stare before the pieces clicked together in her skull. Lucentia had mentioned a brother, right? She'd only been half paying attention, but now it made sense. The bearing with which Lucentia held herself. Those facial features, that distinctive nose.

 

Lucentia's brother was the second worst Epic in Portland--Nighthound. Her jaw dropping slightly, Sam looked across the steel box to Revolution, who nodded with a smile. Apparently the most world-wise of hippies had already figured it out.

 

Traveler didn't seem surprised by the reveal. Perhaps he had already figured it out, or perhaps Lucentia had flat out told him sometime when Sam wasn't paying attention. But his face was growing darker. Furious. Oddly enough, he looked far more furious now than he had when called Remington into the kitchen.

 

Traveler didn't reply to Lucentia, but Funtimes did. "You're not in a wheelchair, silly!" she exclaimed, hopping to her feet and smiling broadly. "Well, now you are." 

 

Lucentia's chair and makeshift throne suddenly grew firmer beneath her, becoming a wheelchair. More strikingly, the smooth white silk of her dress warped into smooth white bread. Lucentia's dress became a flowing gown made of strung together PB&J's. 

 

"If you stop being a meanieface," Funtimes continued. "I'll undo that seat belt and put your dress back the way it was. If not… That wheelchair really likes peanut butter and jelly. That's his favorite snack." A low growl emanated from underneath Lucentia.

 

Revolution Sunburst Jones was smiling from not far away. "I've seen less tasteful dresses, if you know what I mean," she said coolly, her face mirthful but her voice deadpan.

 

The threats, reality-warping, and puns seemed to drive Lucentia into a rage--what happened next was almost too quick to keep track of.

 

Red diamond spikes jutted out of Lucentia's body, flying out over the room and stabbing into walls. Sam suddenly realized how much she'd overreacted when the diamond swallowed her sock. That crystal had been slow and languid--these were as fast and lethal as bullets.

 

She hardly had time to think before the red spines filled the room, fusing together to form thin but indestructible walls. She lost track of Revolution, the Doctor, or the Unicyclist. She was stuck in an enclosed diamond cell with Traveler.

 

And stepping through a wall came Lucentia, her body no longer wrapped in sandwiches. Her skin was covered in black diamonds that interlocked with one another like scales. Thin wires connected her to the walls. 

 

“Now, from what I have seen your girlfriend can´t transform my diamonds," Lucentia gloated. "Is there anything you can do that doesn´t involve running away or begging for my mercy?”

 

Not really, Sam thought with a sinking feeling. Sure, I could enrage her with a crack about incest... but I'd rather my last joke have a bit more class...

 

Then, like an angelic chorus through the diamond, came Funtimes' psychotic laugh. "Tra-vel-er! Don't go anywhere! I've got a surprise for you!"

 

A spinning blade sliced through the wall of crystal, sending sparkling debris hurtling in a dust cloud throughout the room. Funtimes was grinning wildly, holding a chainsaw that glittered with diamond dust.

 

Epics are slontzes, Sam thought, But some of them at least have style.

 

She took Traveler's hand along with Funtimes, and a series of jaunting teleports assembled the other servants and brought them into the kitchen. Sam stumbled slightly, still not feeling comfortable with the teleporting. An Epic was trying to kill them and Funtimes was laughing and diamond-studded chainsaws were appearing on the wall...

 

Sam leaned against a cabinet, trying to stay focused. Though every time an Epic saw her she was at risk of death, she'd had surprisingly few attempts on her life in the past.

 

Those black moments when an Epic had tried to kill her ranked among the worst days of her life.

 

She felt the cool smooth surface of a diamond under her sockless foot and leaped away from the wall with a start. Lucentia's red spears were jutting through the walls and reaching into the kitchen. It was as if beyond the kitchen's narrow doorway was an enormous red monster intent on impaling them all with its quills.

 

Sam felt herself taking a chainsaw from Funtimes, hearing the mad Epic instruct her to "have fun." Was this the real reason the Doctor picked her up? Did the good Doctor like having a continuous supply of human cannon fodder to throw at offending Epics?

 

"You're shaking," Revolution whispered in her ear suddenly. "Hold the saw like this so you don't hurt yourself." Sam limply let the other woman guide her arms into place. Revolution gave a smile that could have been unnervingly flippant, but somehow seemed to be reassuring.

 

Sam nodded and faced the rest of the cottage. Red crystal glistened in the early sun's rays. The diamonds grew like thorny vines, crouching and preparing to spring. They massed like a tidal wave before the crash of a tsunami. Sam felt herself grow tense. Through the opaque crystal walls was a black silhouette, raising her arms and gesturing towards them--

 

The diamond lunged in attack. Sam lunged her chainsaw into the red wave, a shining cloud of red jewels flying around her.

 

 

 

Lightwards glared irritably out the window. Shouldn't Funtimes have come by now?

 

He shook his head and sighed. The woman probably literally didn't know the meaning of the word "punctual." He'd have to have a chat with her about this sort of thing. Did she think she was being fashionably late?

 

Giving a slight tut tut, Lightwards pulled out a notepad he had found and started scribbling.
 

 

 

[A Joe in the Bush]

"Sightline," Altermind called. "Just the Epic I wanted. You're going to take Voidgaze to the museum today, if it's alright. These are the maps they need." Altermind didn’t seem to want to do this.

 

Sightline nodded but before he could Reply, Voidgaze walked in. “Voidgaze ready for Business!”

 

He turned towards the door, so that he could face Voidgaze. “And today, that Business is Diplomacy. Are you ready to go talk to Lightwards?”

 

Voidgaze nodded “Of Course!”

 

“Well then, Altermind, we’ll be leaving.” Altermind didn’t reply, just nodded absently while looking over his Papers. Sightline turned, grabbed the maps they had promised Lightwards, and walked out the door, with Voidgaze following behind. “So Voidgaze, How much clothing are you willing to lose on this trip? Anything my skin isn't touching is going to be left behind.”

 

Voidgaze pulled of her robe, revealing her short pants and top underneath them and tossed the robe to Sightline. “You can hold on to this, right?”

 

“Yes. Alright, just so you know, we'll be taking the fast way, so we'll be in the air for most of the Time. I hope you don't get Vertigo.”

 

“Don´t worry about me, I´m a tough gal.”

 

They had reached the entryway of the Compound, and could see up into the cloudless Sky. He placed both of his hands onto Voidgaze and then teleported straight up. He had to reorient them to face the Museum, but once he could see it in the Distance, he started Teleporting, Quickly enough that they weren’t falling as much as twitching every time they arrived. As they approached, he caught a glimpse of the Professor from the steak house through a window. He appeared to be writing something. They landed on the front stairs of the Museum. The whole trip had taken about ten seconds.

 

After Sightline grabbed her, both of them suddenly where in the air. So that´s what teleporting is like. It´s not as disorienting as I would have thought.She could feel a little bit of gravity pulling on her and then they blinked again away, the museum in the distance becoming bigger with each jump. Voidgaze stretched her arms out and started to cheer. “This is awesome!”

 

The Museum itself was medium sized, a bit small for Portland standards. But From what Sightline could see through the windows, it was pretty full. “This LightWards must be a pretty big Collector. Now then. Time to make an Alliance."

Edited September 9, 2014 by The Only Joe

[Edgedancer he/him]

For a moment Traveller and the Goth seemed as scared as they should be, then Funtimes somehow cut through the floor and under an nasal sing-song grabbed her friends, which they took as a signal to blink away. Still, what was that chainsaw made of to cut through the ground so easily?

 

From one corner of the room she could hear her scream "Kitchen, please!" How nice all of them gathered in one place, let´s flood them out. With a wave of her arm Lucentia commanded more diamond tendrils to pierce into the kitchen wall, not only lunging at the Slontzes but also starting to cover the ground and walls. By now, the entire dining room was covered with diamonds, ready to swallow them as soon as they stepped out of their hideout. Now what´s your choice, getting crushed against the far wall or just imprisoned right now.

Edited November 15, 2014 by Edgedancer

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

                                                                                                

The diamond moved with far greater speed than any diamond had a right to move. 

 

Doctor Funtimes cut a hole in the floor, keeping close to the far wall, and soon vanished into the crawlspace. That left Nathan, Remington, Samantha, the hippie, and the Unicyclist to keep the diamonds at bay as she put whatever plan she had into effect. 

 

It was like fighting the ocean. 

 

Towering red waves lunged from the wall, trapping the refrigerator like a fly in amber. They rippled and lurched, keeping Nathan hopping back as they lapped at his feet. Once, the diamond nearly caught hold of his shoe, but he leaped back and attacked it with vigor. This was Lucentia's diamond. Every time he considered giving up, he thought of her, of her haughty eyes, of the way she demanded pity and proclaimed them lesser than she by virtue of what she had suffered—what could she suffer, anyway, as a queen who took a sandwich dress as an unforgivable insult when she could just make a new one out of diamonds—

 

Nathan's next attack was too ambitious. He tried to strike at the heart of the diamond, but the diamond took hold of the blade, wrapping around it and sucking it in like a python swallowing a rodent. He tugged back, but the diamond was stronger than he was. The chainsaw was torn from his grip, and sent him stumbling backward. 

 

There was a giggle in his ear. 

 

Funtimes helped him stand, looped her arm through his, and took him to Samantha—then the hippie—then the Unicyclist—and Remington, who was still taking strong, deliberate swings with his chainsaw, last of all. Their next trip landed them in the hole, which she closed with a wave of her hand just as a bit of red peered over the lip. 

 

In the darkness, she giggled. 

 

And then there was light, shining from her headlamp, illuminating what used to be the crawlspace. The foundation had been lowered enough for even Remington to stand upright, the excess material repurposed to create, in part, a headlamp resting at each person's feet. Remington put his on, then retrieved Samantha's for her and handed it over with a reassuring pat on her shoulder. The poor girl was shaking. So was Nathan, but his trembling was due more to rage than fright. Remington saw it and cocked an eyebrow, but said nothing. Funtimes also declined to comment, but the gleam in her eye said it all. 

 

She knew he hated Lucentia. And she didn't think it bad. 

 

"Okie dokie loki," she said, clapping her hands. As Remington's headlamp swooped over her hair, Nathan caught a glimmer of red diamond dust. "There's some oxygen tanks and masks over there in case the diamond gets this far." She cut off with a giggle, and added, "Which it won't. Anyhoodle, there's more chainsaws. Me and Traveler've got a surprise for her." 

 

Her surprise was hidden in a wooden crate nearly as long as she was tall, which she claimed by planting a foot on top like a pirate on a chest of buried treasure. Another chainsaw appeared from a raised block of concrete, and Nathan took it without question. He didn't want to go back up there. 

 

Yes he did. Lucentia would get what she deserved, a rare event for Epics. It would be worth watching. 

 

She could kill them….

 

Funtimes giggled and looped her arm through his. "Close as you can," she said, and then they were gone. 

 

--------------------------

 

"Close as you can" was too close for Nathan's comfort. 

 

No—it was just close enough. Ten feet, maybe more. Funtimes snapped her fingers, catching the diamond queen's attention with a sing-song "Oh Lu-cent-i-a!" 

 

Lucentia turned, but Funtimes' attack was already underway. The crate had vanished, unleashing a flock of...

 

Of….

 

They moved so quickly Nathan couldn't tell what they were, nor could he count them. A swarm of blurs cut through the air with a nearly deafening buzz, moving toward Lucentia at the speed of thought, attacking not the diamond queen, but the black wires linking her to the crimson waves. Only when a stray wire wrapped around a blur and cast it down did Nathan see what it was. 

 

It was a wind-up bird, painted like the brightest birds from the tropics, with saw blades instead of wings. 

 

Her arm still in his, Funtimes reached toward one of the diamond walls her birds had cut from Lucentia's control. The transformation began at the bottom, working its way to the top like flame through paper, melting the diamond into hundreds—thousands—millions of small, caramel-colored things wrapped in wax paper. Nathan lifted one and recognized a candy he hadn't been able to afford in years: a praline. 

 

She had done it. The battle wasn't over, but her counterattack had already destroyed one of Lucentia's weapons. He felt a rush of admiration for this woman, this Epic, who countered rage with whimsy. 

 

Funtimes was already working on her third wall. Nathan led the praline aloft. 

 

"Well, Lucentia? What will it be? She can keep going with the pralines, or she can do something less tasty like spiders." To prove it was edible, he unwrapped the candy and took a bite. "The choice is yours." 

Edited September 7, 2014 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Mailliw73 he/him]

As Sightline was about to answer, Voidgaze strode into the room, and proclaimed her readiness. Sightline turned and said to her, "And today, that Business is Diplomacy. Are you ready to go talk to Lightwards?” Voidgaze cheered the affirmative, Calamity, that woman could be annoying. Particularly in the morning.

“Well then, Altermind, we’ll be leaving.” Sightline said. Altermind continued his plans and nodded to the teleporter. The two Epics left the room as Sightline began asking about clothes.

Altermind got a call on his mobile just then, and a voice reported, "Sir? We have three Epics here at the West Gate and they demand an audience with you. They sound like they want to join up with you."

"Let them in, but watch them carefully. Send guards to escort them here," Altermind said. He was curious to hear about more Epics joining him. The whole city seemed to be drawing battle lines. Altermind moved over to the left wall of the room and left his projection standing behind the table.

"Greetings Mare! Joining up with ThoughtTown I presume?" The man said. He then demanded a guard to get them an audience with Altermind. As he boomed his order, he encased his shield in steel. So, he had powers like the famous tyrant in the Midwest. Was that his only power or did he have more he wasn't revealing?

"Yes, you are correct. I am here to join with Altermind. Who are you two? I assume you are here for the same purpose?" Mare asked as the guard called Altermind. She wondered what the woman's powers were. No Epic stuck around with humans for long, so the woman must be an Epic too. Edited September 8, 2014 by Mailliw73

[Kobold King he/him]

 

But where would I even find a fission bomb? Lightwards thought irritably. He tore a page out of his notebook and fed it to the Stegosaurus, which seemed to the least picky of his saurian Warriors. Sauriors? No, that was a stupid thought.

 

As the idle plans for planting a nuclear bomb in Thoughttown disappeared down the dinosaur's gullet, he looked up and noticed that Altermind emissaries had appeared on the front steps to the Museum.

 

It's about time, he thought with annoyance. Still, he smiled and approached them.

 

He still didn't know the blindfolded man's name, though he knew enough to be wary of him. While that black blindfold should have obscured all vision, he still looked into Lightwards' face as if he had the eyes of a hawk. Voidgaze was standing beside him, wearing a tank top and short shorts that were wholly unsuited for diplomacy. Though at least she wasn't staring at him like she had in the steakhouse the previous night. Sending Nighthound away before their arrival had been a good decision on his part.

 

The pair was intently surveying the Museum's tropical backdrop. Still smiling, Lightwards strode over beside them, petting Phoenix's Coelophysis that he'd left in the building.

 

"Good morning, Ms. Voidgaze," he said warmly, reaching out to shake the girl's hand. Turning to the blindfolded Epic, he added "And good morning to you--I don't believe we've been formally introduced. I am Lightwards, Emperor of Light and Victor over Death. And you are?"

 

 

Revolution Sunburst Jones took a deep breath, wiped sweat from her brow, and leaned against the wall. She'd used a chainsaw before, but only for cutting firewood. This had been a battle. While she hadn't killed anyone--wouldn't kill anyone, even if Funtimes turned her shirt into gasoline--she was still a bit stressed by the experience.

 

Then there was a giggle and a light. Funtimes began handing out headlights to the whole party, illuminating the dark crawlspace. She saw that Sam was still shaking, looking thoroughly disturbed. The poor girl was even paler than usual, and that was saying something. Remington, in an unexpected show of kindness, gave her a pat on the back and handed her a headlight.

 

Traveler and Funtimes disappeared a moment later, likely going to carry on the battle. That was comforting--whatever the good Doctor had in store for her pet people, it didn't involve being impaled by Lucentia the Diamond Queen. If not, she wouldn't have left them behind.

 

As the Doctor's voice shouted "Oh Lu-cent-i-a!" from upstairs, Revolution scooted closer to Sam.

 

"You all right?" she asked. "You look pale."

 

"Just my complexion," the other girl mumbled. She looked lost in thought, angry.

 

"Something the matter?" Revolution continued. "Funtimes is powerful enough to take Lucentia, so I wouldn't worry about that."

 

Sam shook her head. "It's not that. They're just... they're just all the same. They can't just leave us alone..." She trailed off.

 

Revolution nodded knowingly, then smiled, putting her arms around Sam and Remington. The Unicyclist was a little too far away for a hug, but she beamed at him nonetheless. "Just relax," she told them all. "Funtimes is taking care of things, and eventually she'll get bored enough to let us get away. Then you can all visit where I live. We'll all be laughing our heads off over this and eating fresh summer squash."

 

The sound of shattering crystal rang up from above, as did what sounded like the buzzing of some great flock of birds.

 

"Just you wait and see..."

[Voidus]

Jeff Carlisle looked from his wife towards the rhyming couple, a fog still clouded his brain,​ as though he'd just woken up, his wife's story confusing him even more.
Marigold's an Epic too? He thought to himself, then shelved the idea, now was not the time. He remembered what the man had proposed and what he'd agreed to though, and he needed to clear up the misunderstandings.

"It's true hun, they were just trying to help. We can talk about all of this Epic business later, but these two seemed to honestly care, I don't think they even realized I was an Epic at first either." he told his wife.
Memories from the last few days steadily streamed through his mind.
"Who are you two with? CorpseMaker? AlterMind? Lightwards?" he asked the two Epics, holding his wife as he did and feeling his old self resurfacing, the confident scientist who'd braved the risks with his wife to study the new phenomenon of Epics, Marigold had started acting strangely towards the end, was that when her powers had manifested?

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Panacea heard the conversation, but registered little of it. Mare—

 

​Just breathe, Pan, it'll be okay—

 

—had—

 

Don't make a fuss, it's not a big deal, not like that paper cut—

 

—a— 

 

Don't move, just stay here, let Strongsteel handle it—

 

—lock of hair, a beautiful lock of shining dark hair—

 

​Don't do it, you don't need to, she'll fix it—

 

—out of place. 

 

Panacea released Strongsteel's arm and hurried over to Mare. Exhaling in frustration, Panacea gave Mare her most disarming smile. "Excuse me, Mare, but your lovely hair seems to have been mussed during your trip Would you like to borrow my hairbrush?" 

 

                                                                                         

"It's not that. They're just... they're just all the same. They can't just leave us alone..."

 

After eight years beneath Calamity's light, Remington thought he was used to having his heart twisted and squeezed, thought himself accustomed to the harshness of their brave new world. 

 

Thought he'd taught himself to forget Laurie, standing in those woods. 

 

"Why can't you just leave us alone?" 

 

Thought he'd forgotten that smile. The sort of smile a demon might wear. 

 

"Just leave us alone, Koschei. Leave us alone, and we won't bother you none." 

 

The hippie put her arms around them both, causing him to start. "Funtimes is taking care of things, and eventually she'll get bored enough to let us get away. Then you can all visit where I live. We'll all be laughing our heads off over this and eating fresh summer squash."

 

"I'm afraid that is no longer possible." 

 

Funtimes wasn't Koschei. She smiled too much, clapped her hands like a kid, giggled at nothing. She ate sugar on sugar for breakfast and liked animal furniture more than any adult should. Of course, none of those would mean anything if her smile turned icy….

 

"She gave you a chainsaw." The poor girl needed a thought to calm her. "Gave me a gun. Ever met an Epic who'd arm you and say 'Go to town'?" 

 

The sound of manic laughter came from upstairs. Laughter at a fellow Epic. Laughter shared with an ordinary guy in a nice suit who couldn't throw a punch. 

 

She wasn't Koschei. 

Edited May 9, 2016 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[A Joe in the Bush]

Sightline stared at the Necromancer. His blindfold often unnerved people. It was why he wore it in the first place. "I am called Sightline. You already know Voidgaze, you two met last night. We're here on behalf of Altermind and Thoughttown. Now, I heard you mention you had a teleporter in your Employ. I would like to talk with him."

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Gordon slung his gun over his shoulder, the strap holding it tight against his back. Then he took two big steps away from the man.”Alright, My gun’s away. If you would do the same, we can Talk.” The man glanced over his shoulder and nodded. Then he holstered his pistol and turned around. Gordon continued, “Before we start talking though, how about we go to my Office?” He pulled a Key out of his Pocket, and unlocked the door that Pistol Man had been knocking at.

Edited September 15, 2014 by The Only Joe

[Edgedancer he/him]

The mongrels were putting up quite a fight. Judging from the sound Funtimes also produced some of those ridiculous chainsaws for her allies. Still, they were fighting a hopeless battle, for every tendril they cut away ten more leapt at them.

 

So then why did they bother fighting it? They should be able to just run away. Did they have illusions of some kind that they could win or were they just trying to prove a point? Either way they wouldn´t manage to get what they hoped for.

 

The snap of fingers and a shrill voice called Lucentia´s attention. “"Oh Lu-cent-i-a!" She turned, the scales of her diamond skin scratching against each other, and saw both Epics standing maybe ten-foots away from her.

 

There was more than just them, a swarm of small things whirled towards her. Some of them were caught in the diamonds and fell to the ground but not nearly enough. Her wires were cut and the walls slowly turned into… pralines. Admittedly, not what Lucentia expected.

 

Traveller held up one of them and ate it, accompanied by a mix of a cease fire and a threat.

 

Lucentia grew a thin pedestal under one of the pralines, until she could easily pluck it into her mouth without much work. It tasted… good, maybe a bit too sweet but given the bowl that stood on Funtimes breakfast table it was almost a wonder she didn´t need to grow herself new teeth.

 

“Answer me two questions. Why do you only offer something resembling hospitality and for your sake I assume this is supposed to be hospitality after I try to kill you? And maybe even more importantly,” she tapped her foot against the diamond encrusted ground, causing a spear to shot out of the ground, impaling a praline, which only stopped short in front of Traveller´s face, “why shouldn´t I just do the same to you.”

 

As a sign of good faith she didn´t continue her attack on the vanillas, however, she did not stop encrusting the kitchen with her diamonds, just to be sure.

                                                 

 

Nighthound wasn´t about to put much effort into treating Ray´s ear, it wouldn´t do however if she got an infection. Given that Lightwards didn´t have the Epics that used to occupy the museum running around he most likely wouldn´t be an alternative in the worst case, not that a mindless zombie could ever replace her fiery personality.

 

Which brought them to where they were now and in this case where was the medicine shelf of an recently vacated building, so recent in fact that the Carnotaurus, who was still standing under the museum where they left him, wasn´t hungry anymore.

 

He grabbed some basic supplies, antiseptic, bandages and the like, the random house didn´t have more, and carried them over to the patient. She was sitting at a table, holding a cloth to her ear to soak up the blood and shooting him an earnest “Just die already” glare. It´s always soothing to see someone you care about recover.  

 

“Here, I take it you can treat yourself.” She took the supplies and started her treatment. “Now there is something positive about your little stunt. I realized that taking you with me to Corpsemaker´s territory might not be the best idea, so I´ll have to leave you here. Naturally, I don´t assume that you´ll stay out of your own free will. Which is why, we´ll tie you up after your treatment and have good old Taurus out there keep guard on you with very strict orders. Of course neither of us wants him to carry out those orders, so I would love you to behave in my absence. Deal?”

“Deal.” Ray answered through clenched teeth, Nighthound had the feeling that the sting of the antiseptic wasn´t the reason for her sour face.

“What else would you say?”

                                                       

 

Lightwards greeted both Voidgaze and Sightline with a wide smile. She readily took the hand he offered her and shook it. While the two men exchanged some greetings, Voidgaze plucked her robe from Sightline´s grip and put it back on.

 

Looking around the museum she could not only see the expected dinosaurs but also a tropical rainforest, including the climate. He certainly didn´t pull any stops with this place or was it Funtimes that did this? Whatever was the case she turned to Lightwards with wide open eyes. “You have a very nice place.”

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

 

Nathan fully expected the sight of pralines to bring another flood of red diamond through the cottage. From what he had seen, it would be just like her to delight in torture and fly into a rage at the sight of candy. The sandwich dress had managed that quite well. 

 

To his surprise, she raised a small pedestal beneath a praline, lifted it to her mouth, and took a cautious bite. After a brief appraisal, she gave a slight, appreciative nod. "Answer me two questions," she said when the praline was gone. "Why do you only offer something resembling hospitality and for your sake I assume this is supposed to be hospitality after I try to kill you? And maybe even more importantly—" With a tap of her foot, a glittering spike erupted from the floor, impaling one of many pralines, stopping inches from his nose. By some miracle, he held his ground. "Why shouldn't I do the same to you?" 

 

Every Epic cared about something. For most Newcago Epics, that something was Steelheart's opinion. Favored Epics were kept on a long leash, but one false step and the leash would be exponentially shortened. In a city without the sun, Steelheart was its guiding light, and few were willing to risk being tossed out into the dark. Drop the dictator's name into just the right conversation, at just the right time, and whoever did so might be rewarded with their life. 

 

But Oregon had no Steelheart. There was CorpseMaker, but Lucentia was unlikely to know him. She was the queen of her own kingdom, and if he would be nothing more than a threat to her reign, if that. Altermind might annoy her, but his name would mean nothing. Lightwards, too, was merely a fly to be swatted as her diamonds swept across Portland. Not one of those Epics would unnerve her. Not one would tempt her away from their cottage. 

 

That left one person and one person only. The reason she had deigned to visit. 

 

Nathan took another small bite of praline. "That deadly trick of yours is quite impressive, yet here we are, still standing and speaking. While I'm sure this annoys you—" He took another bit​e, maintaining a careless smile as he looked into her face—not at the floor. "—the good Doctor here has her reasons for turning your diamonds into pralines instead of, oh, I don't know, bleach or something like that." He nudged her arm, which was still looped through his. "What was your reason, darling?" Please don't say marshmallows or puppies or something. 

 

"Night-hound!" she sang. 

 

He chuckled. "What was it you said you wanted from him? 'To hear him cough an apology from his perforated lungs?' Well, I would be the last to blame you for getting distracted by a good fight, but I believe we're keeping you from your appointment with that brother of yours." 

 

The praline was gone now, and Nathan wished he had another one. It would give him something to do, a way to look carefree. Nothing said 'I don't care about your death threats' like eating a piece of candy while those threats were made. "Now. You can try to kill us again, which will only provoke another battle and keep you from the reason you ventured this far, or you can call a truce with the two Epics who are his allies in name only." He glanced down at Funtimes, who smiled at him. "She turned his clothes to acid not too long ago. It didn't last, but if she were to do it again, it might give you a chance to encase him in that diamond of yours." 

 

Nighthound was barely an ally, and at the moment, Lucentia was an enemy. The idea that she might become an ally was laughable. But perhaps she could be made a different sort of enemy: the sort who fought with insults and snide remarks while reserving the true extent of her fury for others. Perhaps a declared cold war would keep her wrath at bay. 

Edited September 9, 2014 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Kobold King he/him]

 

Revolution, unexpectedly enough, pulled Sam and Remington into a tight embrace.

 

"Just relax," the hippie said, beaming at the Unicyclist. "Funtimes is taking care of things, and eventually she'll get bored enough to let us get away. Then you can all visit where I live. We'll all be laughing our heads off over this and eating fresh summer squash."

 

Sam smiled, letting herself cheer up. Revolution's home must be a nice place--anywhere where you could feast on fresh vegetables and freely laugh at Epics was all right in her book.

 

Then Remington spoke up. "She gave you a chainsaw," in a comforting voice. "Gave me a gun. Ever met an Epic who'd arm you and say 'Go to town'?"

 

Yes. Yes I have. She got brief glimpses of gunfire, of that supernal glow. Of those falling corpses and that terrible stare. She repressed the memories and gave a shaky smile directed above.

 

"Yeah, I suppose you're both right," she said. "At any rate, she's better than Lightwards the Leprechaun or Twilight Sparkle up there."

 

 

.

 

The blindfolded Epic jumped straight to the point. "I am called Sightline," he said bluntly. "You already know Voidgaze, you two met last night. We're here on behalf of Altermind and Thoughttown. Now, I heard you mention you had a teleporter in your Employ. I would like to talk with him."

 

"Expediency," Lightwards proclaimed, raising a finger and pointing at the Epic. "I like expediency from my allies. The teleporter, sadly, is not a paradigm of expediency--I'm still waiting for him and his lover to show up."

 

He noticed a human Warrior sitting on a damp bench. He looked like as if the jungle had simply grown up around him. That was actually quite a probable explanation for his position.

 

Lightwards pointed at the Warrior. "You. Simon Regway, was it? Find the old kitchens and pull out some tea for our visitors."

 

The Warrior nodded slowly and headed into the jungle, plodding through thick vegetation with no care for thorns or brambles.

 

Voidgaze took a white robe from her companion and slipped it on. Her eyes were wide, taking in the dinosaurs and the jungle landscape. She at least seemed properly impressed.

 

You have a very nice place," she blurted, turning to face him. Lightwards smiled at her.

 

"I do, don't I?" he replied, feeling smug. "It's only fitting that the finest empire in Portland be established in this jewel of a museum. I'd be glad to give the pair of you a tour--if we kill some time, maybe I can introduce you to my less expedient allies." He turned to face Sightline, staring into that dark blindfold of his.

 

"You brought those maps with you, correct?"

[Mailliw73 he/him]

Max stared down the informant as he put away his gun. "Alright, My gun’s away. If you would do the same, we can Talk," the man said. Max nodded and holstered his handgun. The informant continued, “Before we start talking though, how about we go to my Office?” He opened the door that Max had been knocking at with a key. Max followed him inside and into an office.

"I hear you know the Reckoners," Max jumped right in. He had no need for beating around the bush. He would either get help or not. "Can you help me contact them? I have an Epic in particular I want dead." Max didn't plan to join the Reckoners, but to help them murder Electro. He would be a good target for them. Not too important, but cruel and evil. Killing Electro was only one part of his plan. The Black Fist would become a revolt. It would become a power to be reckoned with. It would strangle lesser Epics and it would weaken the strong Epics. If he had to recruit a couple of nicer Epics, could he find any, to ultimately help him destroy the evil ones, he would do so. The Reckoners would never agree to that, but Max believed it would be worth it. The power it would lend them would be enormous. He had already begun thinking of some. One, Chimera, was rumored to be even-tempered and even kind on occasion. After getting in contact with the Reckoners, recruiting Chimera was Max's next goal.

"Excuse me, Mare, but your lovely hair seems to have been mussed during your trip. Would you like to borrow my hairbrush?" The woman offered her brush as she talked with Mare.

"I would like that very much," Mare said. She didn't want to offend this woman, but she hoped the man would answer her questions. The guard at the gate signaled them forward.

"Altermind will see you now. Follow me," he said. Mare led the way behind the guard, curious about the pair behind her. Edited September 9, 2014 by Mailliw73

[Voidus]

Strongsteel followed Mare past the towns border, he hoped that Pan could keep herself together for now, they couldn't afford for her to break down just because someone kept their hair in slightly less than immaculate condition, her obsession for perfection could sometimes be problematic but it was also what made her such a fantastic healer, she'd never turned away anyone who was injured.

Shifting his focus to this newcomer he tried to get a read on her, she was joining up with Altermind but what were her reasons? Was she interested in keeping the city as in tact as possible? ThoughtTown was certainly the best bet for that, the only part of the city even resembling order. But then most Epics didn't really care about the state of the city they ruled over, they just wanted people who were alive to worship them, did Mare then just think that Altermind had the best forces in the inevitable turf war? Well he just hoped that with the help of Stronsteel and Pan that Altermind would at least keep the city in one piece.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Refill walked next to Zip, the tubing for his new flamethrower was uncomfortable against his skin, he didn't quite understand what Penumbra had asked Zip to do, but it somehow kept the liquid pressurized so as Refill kept the tank filled with fuel that it would keep the pressure up, the entire contraption had been shrunk, it still weighed heavily on his back but it was almost imperceptible, the only visible part was the tubing poking out of his sleeves, the hope was that enemies would confuse him for a fire Epic and so plan for the wrong set of powers.
Zip looked back towards him to interrupt his musings.
"So, what should we do, he didn't really leave instructions. We could get away if we wanted, move somewhere else before he comes back."
The elderly Epic shuddered slightly as he asked, the image of an insane shadow-shrouded Epic about to remove his head still fresh in his mind.
"I really don't want to think about what he'd do if we ran and he caught us." Refill replied.
Zip shuddered again and kept walking, though with the continued use of their powers both men were feeling much more comfortable with the idea of staying with Penumbra.

[A Joe in the Bush]

“Sir, Captain Tagon reports that both Altermind and The Empire of Light have Teleporters. Uh, The Traveller, and Sightline. Private Thurl reports that there are two Epics here at the Gate, wanting to join up, and Scorch has called in. He’s bringing a new Epic he recruited. Orders Sir?” Lt. Ebbinorath stood at attention, his Clipboard at his side. He was the only one who was overconfident enough to work closely with CorpseMaker.

 

They stood inside the Planning Room. It was the Only room that CorpseMaker went to regularly. CorpseMaker looked up from the map of Thoughtown. It was well detailed, except for the Inside of the Headquarters. That was too well guarded for his Toys. “Tell Tagon to focus his Spies on the Teleporters. Give him more if he needs them.”

 

“That might be a Problem Sir. Toymaker reports that she’s reached her upper limit. Unless Some of her toys die soon, she won’t be able to make more. And she also reports that she can’t withdraw the power.”

 

Storming Limitations. They were supposed to be Gods, yet they had weaknesses, and Rules. “Well then, Start hiring Real people. As for the Epics at the Gate. Who are they and how Powerful are they?”

 

“Well, the one that did all the talking introduced himself as Streetwise, a minor Epic, but didn’t mention his companions name. We have two guards with them now Sir.”

 

“Alright then. Bring them to the Front Yard and I’ll talk to them.”

______________________________________________________________________________________

There were two of them. They looked vaguely alike, brothers maybe? But one of them was a lot taller than the other. Ebbinorath had pointed out the short one as being StreetWise. Oddly enough, one of the Gates behind them was on the ground, as if it had fallen off. CorpseMaker strode out to meet them. The two guards, Human both it looked like, snapped to Attention.

 

Before he could say a word, StreetWise spoke up. “Hello Boss, we’ve come to join your Dominion.” The taller one looked up and simply nodded, looking CorpseMaker up and down with a Smirk on his Face.

 

“And why should I let you join my Army? Neither of you look like much, just a couple of street kids.”

 

Again, it was Streetwise who replied. This time with a knowing grin. “Well, you promised Electro and Scorch a city of their own, and I figured I’d like a reward like that in return for helping you conquer the Fractured States.”

 

CorpseMaker raised an eyebrow. The Epics had good Information from somewhere. “Really boy, you think that a little bit of Intelligence will impress me?”

 

“Boss, I know everything that happens in this city. Everything the Streets Touch, I can tell you. For Instance, I know that your man Scorch is currently complaining about the Workload you give him.”

 

Probably true. Scorch wasn’t very useful. Small wonder Altermind had been so quick to abandon him. “Is that why they call you Streetwise? You understand the City?”

 

“Yup”

 

CorpseMaker canceled his power. Streetwise turned white in the face, as if he had just seen a Ghost. Then he whirled around in a panic. “What the Calamity? Where, where is it? I can’t, I, what did you do?” He turned, looking stricken. His companion took a step away from him in Confusion.

 

CorpseMaker smirked, then bent down till he was at eye level with the arrogant Epic. “I just negated your Power. I’ll let you have it again, and that will be your reward for working for me. If you prove to be useful, I might give you a city. Do you understand, Little man?”

 

Streetwise nodded, still wide-eyed. CorpseMaker nodded at him, then returned his power. The brat sank to the floor in relief. CorpseMaker turned to his very confused Companion. “Now then Boy, who are you, and what’s your power?”

 

“I’m Murphy, and I break things.” Murphy was still looking at Streetwise.

 

“You, break things? How is that a Power?”

 

Murphy hooked a thumb over his Shoulder. “See that broken gate? I did that on my way in. My Power is a Murphionic Field. I can direct it at things if I so choose to, or I can just leave it protecting me from Harm. Around me, anything that can go wrong, Will.”

 

That could be useful, of terrible. Either way, he would take it. “Alright, then, you’re both hired. Follow me.”

 

Inside the Planning room, Streetwise made another mark on the Map. “Upgrade lives here. He’s an Epic that can Supercharge other Epics, for a price. Leech lives here in on the top floor of the Target. Anything else you’re looking for?”

 

“No, Those will do for now. Lieutenant, Give this Map to Electro, and tell him to recruit the Epic he finds he. Offer him anything he wants.”

 

Ebbinorath took the map and nodded. “Yes Sir, Scorch is back sir, he has an Epic with him as well.”

 

CorpseMaker looked over his shoulder at Streetwise “Well?”

 

Streetwise blinked, then spoke “Uh, Mundivore, An Invincible Epic.” He leaned back against the table. “He can’t get tired, hungry or Hurt. Nor can-“ The table collapsed, and Streetwise pitched backwards.  Murphy winced. “Oops.”

 

CorpseMaker scowled. “Murphy, you need to figure out how to control your power, I need to go talk to Scorch.” Murphy helped Streetwise to his feet, and CorpseMaker walked out the door. He called over his Shoulder. “Lieutenant, come with me.”

____________________________________________________________________________________

Scorch, Mundivore, and Starscream were in the Hangar where they were storing the other transformers. Scorch was scowling it seemed.

 

CorpseMaker strode towards them. “Congratulations Scorch, you’ll live for another Hour or two at least. So, You’re Mundivore? Welcome to the Dominion. Why did you decide to join me?”

Edited September 10, 2014 by The Only Joe

[Tulir he/him]

"I figured that when someone shows up in a mech, their organization is probably fairly powerful.  I haven't been in town for very long, and Scorch was the first Epic I saw, so I figured I would follow him.  I am glad that he spoke the truth about this place, seeing as I wasn't very impressed by him."  

 

Mundivore started walking around and examining the various mechs in the hanger.  "These are obviously easy for you to make, otherwise they would be hidden more.  I also didn't know there were multiple factions here.  Lose control of your city or something?" Mundivore said as he turned back to CorpseMaker.  

[Edgedancer he/him]

The Epics continued with their conversation over pralines, thinking about it, these pralines were most likely made from the most expensive ingredients imaginable, Lucentia wasn´t sure whether that made them more or less desirable. Then again, being around Funtimes ought to destroy any sense of monetary value. Not that diamonds had a high value for Lucentia herself, with a well-made filling like this they would in fact hold more value to her, as was the knowledge that Funtimes didn´t have to make their creation of one solid substance.

 

While Lucentia eyed another one of the sweets, Traveller and Funtimes went on a long winded speech that boiled down to, “Alright, we´ll help you dealing with your brother, blah blah we´re untrustworthy backstabbers, posturing that doesn´t fit my `I´m above violence´ attitude from earlier.” I´m not sure what’s more annoying, the posturing or his assumptions.

 

She tossed the praline into her mouth and let the other two simmer a bit, all the while surveying whatever uneasiness she could find in Traveller´s face. Finally, she swallowed and started talking. “Interestingly enough, you are offering exactly what I asked for in the first place. Not that openly admitting your willingness to turn on one of your allies is the most trustworthy approach. On that account, your help is… appreciated but I would still prefer to deal with him myself after you bring me to him.” Lucentia´s voice turned cold towards the end to make her point clear.

                                                               

 

After bidding farewell to Ray and grabbing himself a proper shirt Nighthound made his way towards Corpsemaker´s turf. He climbed on top the roof a good distance away, not that he cared much for Lightwards´ wish for discretion but he didn´t need to jump on the first chance to annoy someone that wasn´t even there to notice.

 

Soon enough he could see something that caught his interest, a group of soldiers patrolling the street, easy to identify as such thanks to their ridiculously clichéd uniforms. If Corpsemaker himself went decided on those clothes, he either doesn´t have any taste or was to broken to organize something better. They walked in a formation that heavily guarded one of them that carried something that looked like an action doll, bad taste it is then.

 

On the practical side their presence were far less amusing, if the streets are guarded that would make getting information a lot harder, at least without making a scene. Who am I kidding? This just makes them a passable excuse instead of a joke.

 

Nighthound opted to follow them for a while before attacking them, hopefully they got friends. Soon he found himself on a roof that could almost pass for a garden, maybe for Willy Wonka´s to be precise. The roof itself was quite large and even and apart from a little staircase most of it was occupied by greenery of all kind, nothing that unusual, no the part that made him stop in his tracks for a while was the decoration.

 

Almost everything had some kind of sugar sticking to it, flowers that had leaves replaced by colored sugar glass, tree trunks covered in caramel and other absurdities. In the middle of said garden stood the Epic most likely to have created this, her clothes had a chance to be accepted in Funtimes wardrobe, a shirts and pants combo that was a faint pink in the middle and turned more and more red the closer it got to the edges of the bloated sleeves. Her hair was dyed in the same colors and tied up behind her head, a flower sitting on the knot, only two strands of pink hair framing her round face. Furthermore, she had a slightly tainted monocle on her left eye. Lately I seem to really attract the Epics with loose screws.

 

She stared at him with… no emotion in particularly really, she didn´t appear to mind his presence nor did she seem pleased, her expression was simply empty. Let´s see how this does turns out. Returning her gaze he circled around her and ultimately half lied down on a bench that looked as if it wouldn´t stick to his clothes, luckily he judged it right, and rested his head on his hand.

 

The first one to speak was the woman. “I´m Candyflame. Who are you?” An appropriate name indeed.

“Is that monocle of yours also made from sugar?”

Candyflame continued to stare at Nighthound for a while, still with eyes that didn´t indicate her thoughts, and pointed at her monocle. “I tried to make one from sugar but it always made my eyelids all sticky and blurred my sight, so I had to settle for normal glass. What´s your name?”

Okay, please don´t tell me she´s too stupid to insult.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

It wasn't Lucentia's words that made Nathan want to strike her. It was the way she clearly lost interest when anyone else spoke, the nearly imperceptible roll of her eyes, the way she insulted those whose home she had invaded and demanded favors after attempting to murder them--and over what? A dress made from sandwiches. Even for an Epic, that was low.

And there was no pleasing her. Her demands had confirmed as much. Lucentia was the sort of Epic who refused to be made happy, and blamed others for her unhappiness. Epics who killed unjustly were one thing. Epics who killed unjustly and said, "Now look what they made me do" were quite another.

And Nathan didn't have to smile at this one.

"Pfft!" Funtimes then burst into laughter. "You know how fast my boyfriend can go, right?"

Her laughter calmed him, allowed him to gather his thoughts. Lucentia demanded to be taken seriously, but Funtimes wouldn't give her the satisfaction. "I've traveled two thousand miles in less than a second. I can outrun your diamonds, as you've seen. If you yourself know us to be untrustworthy, which we are, then what in Calamity would make you think we would do what you ask?"

He crushed a praline beneath his shoe, not to impress or intimidate her, but because crushing it felt good. "You have given us no reason to do what you ask, Lucentia. We offered our help because you are a powerful ally and we share a mutual dislike of your two-faced brother, but now the only thing I can think to do is take our property and abandon you here before retrieving your brother and taking him to a place you will never find him."

He looked down at Funtimes again, then back at Lucentia. "Leave us alone. Walk away, continue on your way to Portland, and we will ignore you from this point forward. We will fix our cottage and pretend this never happened, and we won't interfere with your pursuit of revenge. Continue to make demands, or make another attempt on our lives, and you will never see Nighthound again."

-----------------------------------------

"Not--you slontze!" Scorch stomped on Mundivore's foot, forgetting the pain in his own just long enough to make the mistake. The blow sent pain shooting through his foot and sent hi hopping up and down, clutching his foot as he swore.

As luck would have it, Mundivore seemed unaffected by the attack. Scorch's scowl deepened. "Stupid storming invulnerability," he muttered.

Edited September 9, 2014 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Mailliw73 he/him]

Altermind watched from the side of the room as the three Epics came in. They were escorted by a pair of guards. The hallucination waved away the guards and began speaking, "You requested an audience? What do you want?" Altermind was curious to see if any of the new Epics would threaten or attack his hallucination. They seemed docile for the most part, but the man in the middle had been the one to call out orders to the guards and he was the one Altermind wanted to watch most.

Mare was calm as the guard led her into a big open room. The man, Altermind, stood behind a large table. He stared at each of them and asked, "You requested an audience? What do you want?" Mare waited for a second to see if the bulky man next to her would speak up first. He had been the one to demand an audience, after all.